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#294507* (?/33) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
[ HM ] the odds of dying from HIV are low if you use condoms or never get laid :(
[ Clone ] : (
[ ralish ] Are they even lower if you never get laid AND use condoms? :P
[ ralish ] twice the protection!
[ HM ] depends who's condoms you're using
[ ralish ] touché
#294498* (?/35) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
-AgA- VaRoflRaptor: Hey
-AgA- VaRoflRaptor: here's a REALLY STUPID JOKE
-AgA- VaRoflRaptor: that my sis told me
RADA: YOUR NOT GAY?
#294497* (?/31) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
Arch_Laughter: RADA: i make so much fun of kira
RADA: simon
RADA: no
Kiwi in a Cup: i<3simon
-AgA- VaRoflRaptor: Rada no antagonising, Kira, don't take the bate
Arch_Laughter: woah no homo
#294496* (?/32) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
* discussing porn *
@snow-> the thing is you can't put makeup on a dick
#294494* (?/29) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Buck> people who mail me random "funny" attachments annoy me
<Buck> luckily, they are the very people likely to open up a virus attachment sent to them from an anonymous domain
#294488* (?/27) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Victim> Hello Kitty toaster
<Victim> Yes/No
<Mike> No
<Victim> Why not?
<Mike> Satish Narayan dies after his wife Rajini allegedly set his genitals alight.
<Victim> Oh, ok. I see the relevance.
<Victim> Set them alight WITH A FUCKING HELLO KITTY TOASTER!
<Victim> He had Hello Kitty burned into his fucking nutsack.
<Mike> Wow, that was actually funny.
#294484* (?/37) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
kristopher: a burger does sound great.
Nic: A BURGER WOULD MAKE ME IRATE
kristopher: nic is a vegetarianate
Nic: I only eat cock
Nic: vegetable cock
#294483* (?/29) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<sanyd> sandy
<sanyd> how can i change my nick in the chat?
<esteele> sanyd: /nick newnick
<sanyd> :O
<sanyd> :o
<sanyd> mmmm
<sanyd> do you see my newnick? nooo really
<sanyd> i can't do it
<sanyd> :(
<sanyd> :'(
Comment: #plone on freenode
#294481* (?/37) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<poffy> She's got the looks.
<poffy> To make it.
<poffy> Looks.
<poffy> To fake it.
<poffy> Looks.
<Cronkan> to break it
#294480* (?/45) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<tom> meh he aint replyed
<paul> well
<paul> havin a sexually charged convo with his sis may have lead to suttin :/
<paul> hence the afk
#294399* (?/40) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
Isn't there some redundancy of information (each sperm will share a large proportion of genes with its collegues) - so the information bandwidth stays just a little higher than that of a single sperm.
#294397* (?/32) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
* himbamcky wakes up
* HappyChef slaps himbamcky around a bit with a large trout
* himbamcky slaps HappyChef with a little bit of perl script.
* HappyChef slaps himbamcky around a bit with a superior php script
* himbamcky slaps HappyChef around a bit with a complex-superior C script
* HappyChef blocks with a C# script
* himbamcky jabs with a bash script and wins the game.
<HappyChef> :[
#294396* (?/36) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<RiskyGiraffe> How does one become Lord of Dragons?
<Cydon_Prax> born with the titel
<RiskyGiraffe> Is that like downsyndrome?
Comment: Cydon_Prax thinks he's the Lord of Dragons
#294392* (?/34) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<@bosshog> i got 5 bitches lined up for the week but i can only afford 3
#294388* (?/44) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
food
* BlueFusion sends the glass of wine over irc teleport
<LordBalmongOfTheAzhureSky> Look out .........................ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
<LordBalmongOfTheAzhureSky> Hell it they got me...................
<LordBalmongOfTheAzhureSky> GODAM THOSE MARTIANS!!!!!!!!
* LordBalmongOfTheAzhureSky has quit (Quit: )
<BlueFusion> uh
Comment: irc.epic-chat.net
#294387* (?/27) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Nick> i just performed a miracle
<Nick> I got a scissor key back onto a keyboard
<urbanfox> wow
<urbanfox> phone the vatican
#294386* (?/38) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<noamsml> :noamsml!noamsml@localhost PRIVMSG #grapevines :Yo dawg I herd you like IRC so I put an IRC in your IRC so you can chat while you chat
#294382* (?/24) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Tofer> hey Phoenix_UK
<Phoenix_UK> hows you
<Tofer> you were an asshole in my dream last night!
<Tofer> i created a sea fortress protected by a shield i had developed from a wireless router, and you stole it from me :(
<Tofer> and then you rammed an oil tanker into a british aircraft carrier
#294377* (?/32) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
onslaught        axe makes a very mexican smelling body spray
onslaught        i forgot what the name of it is
ham                "border river that you crossed at 3am"
ham                or: effluvium
#294374* (?/30) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
< workingTitle> if you're having sex with a conjoined twin that shares the same genitals
< workingTitle> and one says stop
< workingTitle> but the other says keep going
< workingTitle> is it rape if you dont stop?
< workingTitle> or..
< workingTitle> if you're a conjoined twin and you're masturbating
< workingTitle> and your conjoined twin says stop
< workingTitle> but you dont
< workingTitle> are you raping your conjoined twin?
< workingTitle> can you go to jail?
< nightcrawl3r> are u from china or something?
< workingTitle> they would have to go with
#294373* (?/40) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Narcoleptix> yo guys
<Narcoleptix> earlier
<Narcoleptix> right before I joined
<Narcoleptix> I took a shit
<Narcoleptix> and it was steaming
<Narcoleptix> yes
<Narcoleptix> it was a steaming pile of shit
<Narcoleptix> I saw the steam
<Narcoleptix> I was like "wtf"
<Narcoleptix> good times
#294368* (?/35) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
11:45:04 pm • <&God> JesusChrist son, where is my daily suck? get on your knees!
11:45:07 pm • * God is now known as Jason
#294364* (?/39) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<morgoth1145> WHOO!
<morgoth1145> Down to 135 redirects!
<morgoth1145> ALMOST TO 100!!!!!!!!!!
* You were kicked by morgothBotPy (caps)
* Attempting to rejoin channel #sporewiki
* Rejoined channel #sporewiki
* morgothBotPy was kicked by Eulalia (Kicking the saviour of SporeWiki)
* morgothBotPy (n=morgothB@unaffiliated/morgoth1145/bot/morgothbotpy) has joined #sporewiki
* ChanServ sets mode: +o morgothBotPy
* Eulalia was kicked by morgoth1145 (Completing the circle)
* Eulalia (n=eulalia@wikia/Eulalia459678) has joined #sporewiki
* ChanServ sets mode: +o Eulalia
<Eulalia> Cuz it's the CIRCLE of LIIIIIIIIFE
#294363* (?/27) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Soul_keeper> 39% more realestate going from 1600x1200 to 2048x1536
<Soul_keeper> 3.5" more horizontal screenspace and 2.5" more verticle by moving my res from 1600x1200 to 2048x1536
[2 minutes of silence]
<Soul_keeper> so basically i'm talking to myself
<PovAddict> yup
<Rookie_69> I'm not really listening.
<xcamel> ditto
<xcamel> laterz..
<Soul_keeper> i don't like any of you anyways
Comment: freenode/#boinc
#294359* (?/26) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
me:  i wish cats pooed candy
Chris:  O_O
then you'd, what, willingly eat cat shit?
me:  if it was candy i liked
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