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#311642* (?/4) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
Fatmeatball: is nobody going to question the fact that i almost lost a frickin eyeball because of spongebob squarepants
#311641* (?/4) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<BronzeEagle> 10/10 muricas
<daniel> that guy needs lessons in redneck
<daniel> he totally failed at securing those roman candles
<roman> no one is touching my candles
#311640* (?/7) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<whitequark> i used to work with a guy
<whitequark> who was working on ruby on rails website
<whitequark> in dominican republic
<whitequark> and he was doing it exclusively on a mixture of cocaine and amphetamine
<whitequark> and i had to refactor his code
<whitequark> i literally asked my coworkers to give me an ice pick and an one way ticket to dominican republic as a new year gift
<whitequark> unfortunately they refused
#311639* (?/4) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<moaz> wastrel> do you happen to be a doctor by any chance
<moaz> i have a really bad cold
<Afrix> apple a day will keep the wastrel away
<moaz> well there's a reason i use android
<wastrel> i'm the phd kind of doctor not the md kind
<wastrel> i have a doctorate in not being particularly good at nything
#311636* (?/24) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Anonymous> 4chan is a Jewish dating website.
<Anonymous2> u lied
<Anonymous> Yes, yes I did.
#311634* (?/11) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<&castalia> snek-sensei: i almost aborted myself
<&castalia> IRL no joke
<@snek-sensei> nice
<@snek-sensei> thats hardcore
<&castalia> i was born premature
<&castalia> umbilical cord got wrapped around my neck
<@snek-sensei> wow you tried to hang yourself while aborting yourself
<@snek-sensei> thats fucking metal dude
<&castalia> before i even entered this world i was already trying to kill myself
#311633* (?/8) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<ChiizuKage> The Castlevania Netflix series is pretty rad.
<ChiizuKage> Great fight scenes.
<Slash_Lateral> Apparently the Wall Chicken shows up as an easter egg in one of them, if you look carefully and turn up the brightness.
<ChiizuKage> Slash: aw man, now I gotta look for that.
<ChiizuKage> I'm actually on that episode right now.
<ChiizuKage> Fight scene was fantastic, along with Bloody Tears playing.
<Slash_Lateral> Haha :D
<ChiizuKage> This show is great in that it doesn't beat you over the head with references and fan service, so when it does occur, it's actually memorable.
<Slash_Lateral> I'll have to watch it next time I get on Netflix
<ChiizuKage> The plot is a mix of Dracula's Curse and Symphony of the Night.
<dysk> I've been hearing nothing but good things about the Castlevania series. I hear the producer wants to do something similar with another popular and long-running video game franchise (rumored to be Zelda).
<YelseyKing> Zelda already had a cartoon. But then, it sucked, so... Excuuuuuuuse me, princess. :P
<Yuri> I heard the Super Mario Bros. movie is awesome.
#311632* (?/16) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Danika> hmph, Twitter thought one of my tweets was considered "suicidal" or something
<StriderHLC> The hellsite strikes again
<Danika> yeah I said something like "I wish my parents never had me"
<StriderHLC> "We suspect you may be suicidal. We are locking your account to remove you from your support network as a courtesy."
#311631* (?/21) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<@stereo_> when we get a time machine that can look anywhere in history, i assume the first thing it'll be used for is to spy on other people's dicks
<@Dom`> I mean, why?
<@Dom`> If we wanted to spy on dicks, we could just put a camera in your mouth
#311630* (?/13) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<@Rothen> .c 1 square lightyear in square centimeters
<%topkek_2000> Oops: Ran out of units of quantity lightyear (imaginary)
<+woodcat> wolfram alpha that
<@snek-sensei> wolfram alpha my ass
<@snek-sensei> >wa my ass
<%topkek_2000> [Wolfram] Myr (megayear) = 1 Myr | 1000 kyr (kiloyears)  | 1 million years  | 999.3 millennia  | 3.154×10^13 seconds
<+woodcat> that's phat
<@snek-sensei> dang i'm a lot of years
<@Rothen> snek-sensei's ass stretches for eons.
<+woodcat> it's almost bigger than your mum's
#311629* (?/8) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
< jayis> yesterday my architect said our base64 encoded username "token" is encrypted and i said it isn't and then he said it is and i said it isnt and then he walked away
#311628* (?/15) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<dysk> ...some common typoes change the entire meaning of a sentence.
<dysk> "Venom was really good. Would defiantly see it a second time"
<dysk> Right, because the producers of the movie only want you to see it once. Stick it to the man!
#311627* (?/11) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
< Kitlero> Also, I came to say there clearly cannot be lizard humanoid in politics
< Kitlero> The evidence is how against 'global warming' they tend to be
< Kitlero> I think lizard people would want a warmer earth
#311624* (?/8) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<YelseyKing> Movie Crossovers We Don't Need #9273894673: "Nightmare on 34th Street".
#311623* (?/20) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
< brennyn> i once had to train a guy at work who i could not convince that 1 percent and 1 gallon are not "basically the same thing"
< brennyn> his explanaton was that milk comes in 2%
< brennyn> he wasn't trolling, he was actually stupid
< brennyn> he got fired less than a week later for pouring paint thinner into his eyes
<@snek-sensei> w-what
< brennyn> he was cleaning something that required lying down and crawling under the machine
< brennyn> he got to the part he needed to clean, held a cup of paint thinner above it, and poured directly into his face
< brennyn> because he forgot about gravity
<@snek-sensei> oh okay that makes sense
#311622* (?/22) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<pikapika> Girlcocks are fucking amazing
<cheapie> THEN HAVE I GOT GREAT NEWS FOR YOU
<cheapie> *ahem*
#311621* (?/9) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<StriderHLC> Yesterday we learned that the president's penis looks like a cartoon mushroom, and it's already gone from Twitter's memory. :(
<YelseyKing> Thank goodness for that.
<dysk> I guess Nintendo fans apparently have little interest in political "humor".
<AmySaturn> two recent news stuffs no one needed to know about
<AmySaturn> the toad shit and beatles masturbation sessions
<dysk> Beatles... masturbation sessions? Yeah, I think I'll stay out of that conversation, thank you very much.
<dysk> Insert your own joke about Norwegian wood here.
<AmySaturn> yeah that's been done
<AmySaturn> also come together
<AmySaturn> a hard day's night
<AmySaturn> etc
<dysk> Memo to Paul McCartney: When you're being interviewed, you don't have to share every single thing that happened when you were with the Beatles. With some subjects, it's best to just... let it be.
#311620* (?/9) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<dysk> "Target is bleeping out book descriptions, removing words like 'Nazis' and 'queer'"
<YelseyKing> lol
<YelseyKing> I love overzealous auto-censors.
<dysk> That old joke about **** van **** just continues to stay relevant, doesn't it.
<YelseyKing> Yes.
<YelseyKing> Penis van Lesbian.
<dysk> Except in Target's case, "penis" and "lesbian" would be censored.
<dysk> I mean, one of the censored words was "stripper".
<dysk> Which isn't always about nude performance. Sometimes it's used for a tool (lol tool) that forestry workers use to remove the bark from wood.
<YelseyKing> t**l
<YelseyKing> I totally understand the reason why sites would do that, given that anyone who'd be so easily offended by certain words would be the same ones to throw a huge fit over seeing them.
<YelseyKing> But it doesn't make it any less stupid.
<YelseyKing> My favorite thing is when they censor a word with only a single asterisk. F*ck!
<YelseyKing> Like you can't tell what that says.
<dysk> "Holy sh*t!"
<dysk> And, of course, let's not forget ***an.
<Danika> Satan?
<dysk> (a certain country in East Asia)
<Danika> oh, Japan
<YelseyKing> The best censors are the ones that ignore spaces and punctuation, so you'll get words you didn't even type censored.
<YelseyKing> Like "cut it out" will be censored, because it ignores the space and sees "tit".
<dysk> Or "It's been 20 years since the release of Mariah Carey's hit", and the final four letters would be censored.
<YelseyKing> Yup.
<YelseyKing> Even better is if they're not censored, but replaced.
<YelseyKing> "It's been 20 years since the release of Mariah Carey'fecal matter"
#311619* (?/17) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<@Wilber> Activity on gimpissues: Shortcut Ovelapping <https://gitlab.gnome.org/GNOME/gimp/issues/2183>
<gitlab-bot> Wilber: Error: GNOME: Impossible to get infos for GNOME/gimp issue 2183: 404: 404 Not found
<@Wilber> gitlab-bot: Error: "Error:" is not a valid command.
<gitlab-bot> Wilber: Error: "Error:" is not a valid command.
<@Wilber> gitlab-bot: Error: "Error:" is not a valid command.
<gitlab-bot> Wilber: Error: "Error:" is not a valid command.
<@Wilber> gitlab-bot: Error: "Error:" is not a valid command.
<gitlab-bot> Wilber: Error: "Error:" is not a valid command.
<@Wilber> gitlab-bot: Error: "Error:" is not a valid command.
<gitlab-bot> Wilber: Error: "Error:" is not a valid command.
<@Wilber> gitlab-bot: Error: "Error:" is not a valid command.
<gitlab-bot> Wilber: Error: "Error:" is not a valid command.
<@Wilber> gitlab-bot: You've given me 5 invalid commands within the last minute; I'm now ignoring you for 10 minutes.
<gitlab-bot> Wilber: You've given me 5 invalid commands within the last 60 seconds; I'm now ignoring you for 10 minutes.
<ankh> haha
Comment: #gimp
#311618* (?/6) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<@nsnc> crowell is doing nothing, therefore crowell is doing.
<@Maczilla-> Induction is so nice
<@bt> Induction is not doing Allah is doing
<@aweinstock> Allah_ind = fun (P : Allah -> Prop) (f : P MkAllah) (a : Allah) => match a as a0 return (P a0) with | MkAllah => f end : forall P : Allah -> Prop, P MkAllah -> forall a : Allah, P a
<@aweinstock> I figured as long as we were doing Allah and Induction jokes, I could define Allah as an inductive type (isomorphic to unit, because monotheism), and take the induction principle for it
<@aweinstock> you can recreate it (with colors, even) with `echo 'Inductive Allah := MkAllah. Print Allah_ind.' | coqtop`
#311617* (?/8) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<StriderHLC> Aggh... I've had so much trouble focusing lately. :(
<Danika> me too
<Danika> (Katelyn and I dumped out all our alcohol last month)
<dysk> Me too. Rejoined Facebook earlier this month. With social media, it takes a lot of work to not be busy. ;)
<Yuri> Alcohol!!!!
<dysk> Am I the only person here who mostly associates that word with rubbing alcohol rather than drinking? ;)
<dysk> I mean, individual alcoholic drinks, I refer to by their names rather than the catch-all term "alcohol", which I'll always think of as a topical antiseptic.
<dysk> That's just my weird use of language, haha. Don't mind me.
<dysk> I've heard some cocktails are quite delicious, so I refuse to conflate them in my mind with a disinfectant.
<StriderHLC> I don't remember if it's Methanol or Ethanol that's rubbing alcohol as opposed to teh booz.
<dysk> Depends on what part of the world you're in, I think.
<ChiizuKage> I associate the word "alcohol" with the disk burning software.
#311616* (?/12) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<salcedo> someone came into #docker on freenode and was like: docker ♥
<salcedo> and a bunch of people dropped
#311614* (?/19) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
Beta: Remember, the sentences "Piracy is bad", "Please trade Windows for Mac/Linux" and "I hate you" all mean the same to me.
#311612* (?/15) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
caducity: I don't get juggling culture
agreeculture: probably better off that way
agreeculture: its basically just a progressive, creeping self hate
caducity: maybe I get juggling culture
#311611* (?/17) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
MartokTheAvenger: Had a line break and start spewing gas. Always fun.
MartokTheAvenger: Luckily I had the right male shear top to fix it.
SPIKEMARE: ...is that a tool
SPIKEMARE: or are you wearing a see through shirt right now
MartokTheAvenger: It's the top part of an emergency valve. It has a shear groove so it breaks at that point.
SPIKEMARE: oooh
SPIKEMARE: neat
SPIKEMARE: admitted, I had fun imagining you going "oh a gas leak, better get my see through shirt"
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