QDB: Random Quotes
About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search

#40586 (41/167) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Dragonblight> I drink tea.
<That-uK> I drink coke.
<DigitalPyro> i smoke cock
<apotheosis> you win.
Comment: Bored in gameSurge #postal2
#159501 (216/806) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Starlights59: dude
Starlights59: i just got rickrolled by fucking drugs
Starlights59: i'm under the influence of stuff right and then like
Starlights59: out of nowhere
Starlights59: rickroll starts playing in my head
#2180 (112/268) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(`KGB) I'm going to #jamaica I've always wanted to visit
#482 (144/363) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
"The difference between being in a relationship and being in prison is that
in prisons they let you play softball on the weekends."
- Bobby Kelton
#307043 (37/71) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Rjx> god damn it
<@Rjx> whoever said I'd learn to like the Star Trek Enterprise theme was right
#28810 (29/221) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* Kirby is now known as Sandman`
<Hell_Kitty> pink balls aren't sexy
<Sandman`> Kirby turns me on.
<Vel|EVN> :/
<Sandman`> Look at how he swallows.
#44955 (43/145) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
AerialFlames: Dude, yeah
gr3ym4tt3r: Especially with no towels nearby.
AerialFlames: It goes BOOM
gr3ym4tt3r: This is gonna be fucking nasty, but I hit myself in the fucking EYE.
gr3ym4tt3r: IN.  MY.  EYE.
AerialFlames: ..WTF
AerialFlames: WTF
AerialFlames: POINT IT AWAY
AerialFlames: DUMBASS
gr3ym4tt3r: I did... but it was like... *twi*BLAMF*tch*
#12080 (160/326) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@charlie_x> i have a command line program on my pc called dont.com
<@charlie_x> if you type dont format c:\
<@charlie_x> it says
<@charlie_x> "ok i wont"
#56782 (476/582) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
boudi24: what do u use to protect ur computer from all kinds of viruses and adwares and spywares and pop ups...
boudi24: ?
metsoc30: common sense mostly
boudi24: what's that ?
boudi24: is it a program ?
#5370 (227/363) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<D1> some new LCDs came out recently.
<D1> which are suppost to be better than the old ones or something.
<McMoo> some new computers came out recently, too
<McMoo> amazingly enough, they're also supposed to be better than old ones.
#1482 (13/319) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
::: .signoff@7.55p> jadel (jadel@h24-70-154-3.wp.shawcable.net); User abortion with 5 coathooks
#6058 (150/312) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Guyver3> ive found, that dreaming that you get shot in the chest, twice, by an assassin that looks like Odo, in the back of car, and
feeling your heart slow down to almost nothing, leaves a really acidic taste in your mouth when you wake up
<a_0001> then don't dream that
<Guyver3> i didnt say that i disliked the acidic taste
#38016 (30/170) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Mech> well if you live with Fearincognito rent+utilities will be like 200 a month
<Twisted> wow i can cover that with one weeks pay
<Mech> and it's always good to have a couple thousand saved up just incase
<Twisted> yuh
<Mech> Like your car blows up or something
<Twisted> dont fucken touch my car
#30648 (119/335) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<MikeH> mike@thor:/usr/local/subway > ./configure --prefix=/root/stomach --sandwich=sweet-onion-chicken-tariyaki --length=footlong --bread=italian-herbs-and-cheese --with-onions --with-lettuce --with-pickles --with-tomatos --with-jalapeno-peppers --with-banana-peppers --with-mustard --with-mayonnaise --with-sweet-onion-sauce
<MikeH> make
<MikeH> make install
Comment: Im...sooo...hungry...
#55433 (312/464) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Paradiddler> I love when young children spin the rims on parked vehicles
<Keru> <Paradiddler> I love young children
<peer> you just love young children
<Paradiddler> what are you implying
<Evilhomer> I think they're implying you touch children in inappropriate places, in exchange for candy.
<Paradiddler> candy is delicious. why would i give it away to grubby children
<Evilhomer> good point
#51593 (127/311) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Florgenblorken: did i tell you my cousin ran away
Caracarn52: nope
Caracarn52: Go on.
Florgenblorken: hes like a drug addict and just bad news in general, and he hates his parents. so i hear from my dad last week he ran off with 1200$ and has been gone for about half a week. but heres the fucked up part. he asked me last time i saw him, "hey dude ive been thinking of running off think i should?" and me being an idiot says, "yeah man sure why not" since i thought he was joking
Florgenblorken: whoops
#36558 (95/213) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Rjx> when a friend of mine wrote me a birthday card, she wrote "happy birthday!!1111"
<Rjx> with the ones actually included
Comment: #geekissues
#67367 (170/290) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Rjx> 14.10. The BLACKHOLE Storage Engine
<@Rjx> The BLACKHOLE storage engine acts as a "black hole" that accepts data but throws it away and does not store it. Retrievals always return an empty result:
<@Rjx> this is the best mysql feature yet
#28862 (7/297) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<davidc> langdon you should have your .net app access a php web service that instantiates the class and returns the game in xml format!!
#47140 (27/133) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Hezzy> i am going to give my girlfriend attention
<+Knifa> "attention"
<+Knifa> ...secks?
<@Hezzy> no
<@Hezzy> and she isn't very impressed by that comment Knifa, she is sitting next to me
<+Knifa> :(
<+Knifa> hi hezzy's girlfriend.
<@garry> sitting next to you stinking like a trout farm
<@Hezzy> :o
<@Hezzy> jahjahaaj
<@Hezzy> she hates you all
<@Hezzy> because of garry's comment just then
#296125 (137/277) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
-!- soj|atchurch is now known as sickofjesus
#134332 (351/833) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<drharlem> Hey, I never believed in programming with it but I've come up with a resolution:
<drharlem> That cocaine stuff actually works, got a mug, put in hot water,
<drharlem> four bags of the stuff,
<drharlem> and I've been up ever since
<drharlem> shit! CAFFEINE!! CAFFEINE!
#296994 (527/683) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Kat: You should have clocked how long you can hold it.
A V: well
A V: thats at least 90 minutes
A V: i know it was 90 min because i had fucking leekspin playing on loop
Kat: How disappointing
A V: and it clocked 90 minutes.
A V: yes, we fucked to leekspin.
A V: for 90 minutes
A V: and apparently i did well, because the next day, leekspin was her ringtone
#51913 (268/438) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Neon> Well, there's a surefire boner-killer. Watching porn on Windows Media Player and realizing that you have the MSN music plugin enabled, showing the girl you'd like to ask out soon the title of what you're watching.
#1274 (155/371) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[kisama_] and no, amanda, my favorite monoply symbol is the cannon
[Amanda_] Because it symbolizes all the high powered ass pounding you do?
save page | share

About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search
0.004 (1) 14,531 quotes approved; 9,616 fermenting; karma: 191.2600