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#29803 (10/304) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<TiTaN> "If it smells like cheap cologne don't touch it.
<TiTaN> " - |darc|
<|darc|> Yup.
<TiTaN> wtf does that mean >_>
<|darc|> She might be a whore.
<|darc|> There's an ancient word passed down from generation to generation. It goes something like this: If it smells like fish, eat as you wish; if it smells like cologne, leave it alone.
<Kenichi> If someone is gay, stick your hardened penis up their asshole and make love with them.
<Kenichi>  - Kenichi
Comment: #dcemu
#18880 (81/231) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<rdgzt> I went through my logs and looked for funny stuff.
<rdgzt> In fact, I grepped for "haha" with 10 lines of context before.
#56410 (110/268) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<PRoger> i recently purchased a broken dell laptop. the screen was broke. so i ordered a new one. i know how to fix that, but on my quest to hide the fact that i have a dell product (i despise dell), i decided to paint it, and maybe drill a hole for an acrylic window. nobody has them in laptops.
<PRoger> well, i took it all apart painted it...all that fun stuff. now its mostly back together and it works. but only off the battery, not wall power.
<PRoger> my desktop also decided to die as well.  so i have 1.75hours of battery/computer time left.
<PRoger> aw man I just noticed my battery has dead cells.  it just went from 56% to 0% dammit!!
*** Quit: PRoger (Ping Timeout: 54 Seconds)
<snorlax> ouch.  I was actually going to stop idling and try to help him until I saw that his laptop battery was the only source of power.
#914 (202/418) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Fustard> fuck
<Fustard> now im bored.
<Fustard> oh well
<Fustard> at least i have a cock and the internet.
<Fustard> ill do something with that.
#6857 (93/263) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
*** Sparks has quit IRC (Quit: You have never really, truly known the joys of riding on a public bus until you look around and realize that the people sitting next to you are the same ones who converse with cheese on a regular basis...)
Seraph: Nothing wrong with talking to cheese.  :)
#1636 (188/357) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<DragonRe> gabe: what i did to you was love goddamit
<gabe> maybe in alabama.
#37835 (98/198) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Bikke> Whoah, I'm in better shape than I'd expected.
<Bikke> 3 miles plus 6-700 vertical feet in like 20 mins
<GauHelldragon> that is a very impressive jump :o
#18621 (154/317) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Pryde> okay I gotta go rescue a cow - bbl later
* Peptis imagines pryde running along to the baywatch movie and pulling the cow out of the dam
#8425 (119/255) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<RaedonWolf> the shortest day of the year is the 8th of december, the longest day is xmas with your relatives
#8960 (42/215) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[KodiaK] my definition of back up is move all my porn to the E Drive
#3894 (5/289) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<gc> it would take approximatly 40 286's to equals the power of your average 1 GHz desktop
<cabbage> um, where did you pull that crap from?
<gc> do the math
<cabbage> haha
<ian> what math
<_gene> well you know .. THE math ;)
<jwzrd-> gc: are you adding clockspeed here ?
<gc> no its the cache,
#17249 (60/242) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<NickBlasta> i always dream and then wake up and i was like woah was that real
<NickBlasta> like the matrix
<isajeep> which pill did you take?
<NickBlasta> the hard pill
<isajeep> lol  knew you'd say that
#37768 (14/280) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Ytrrium> So i was idly chatting with this girl last year.
<@Ytrrium> She's somewhat attractive, and actually asked if i'd like to fool around with her, with becoming fuckbuddies in the future a possibility.
<@Ytrrium> At the time I didn't want that, so i said no. But on that day, she mentioned something...
<@Ytrrium> She was at the beach for a week and had gotten bad sunburn on her back.
<@Ytrrium> I found a devious plan forming in my head.
<@Ytrrium> With some planning on my part, fooling around was scheduled to occur the next day.
<@Ytrrium> Stuff happened and i was doing her doggystyle on the floor of my apartment. I waited until i was about to finish, and pulled out my cock, rammed it in her ass, and slapped her sunburn as hard as i could.
<@Ytrrium> The two black eyes and intensely painful bruised testicles were, in my opinion, very much worth it.
#2662 (186/330) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(CitizenC) You know what I don't understand? Why my bank requires me to have a hardcore, uber-encrypted password so I can see how much I have left to pay on my MasterCard. Fuck... if somebody else wants to access my account and pay it off, be my guest.
#15584 (102/288) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<synnex> AND I'M LIKE "THE BROADWAY PRODUCTION I JUST WROTE ENTITLED 'HITLER ON ICE'... IT'S LIKE CATS BUT WITH LESS CATS AND MORE HITLER... AND IT'S ALL ON ICE!!"
#29444 (225/425) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Procyon> I don't know the world around me!
<Procyon> I'm scared, and confused!
<DS> have you felt a strong desire to vote for george w. bush recently?
#49831 (252/446) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<kb> o
<kb> ^circle
<ppo> wow you have a very steady hand
<kb> thanks
<kb> i've been practicing
#152657 (95/163) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<mfg2> rob's no fucking coder
<mfg2> i've seen his keyboard as there's not a speck of dirt on his [ ] keys
#297681 (90/202) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Jason: need to buy a few things
Jason: 1, set of goalie gears (most expensive... need to spend time shop around.. would cost $600+ brand new)
Jason: 2, hockey bags (prolly can get what i want for 20 bucks. just need to make sure size is big enough)
Jason: 3, my mom's spoon rack
Me-MSN: why do you need to buy that?
Me-MSN: doesn't your mom already have a nice rack?
Jason: she's asian
#299900 (115/161) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@pyna> i read a survey of all the ways they spell khadafi
<@pyna> theres dozens
< pgp> the only thing gadaffi is good for is testing regular expressions
< pgp> M[ou]'?am+[ae]r .*([AEae]l[- ])? [GKQ]h?[aeu]+([dtz][dhz]?)+af[iy]
#49707 (265/501) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<lokwade> anyone knows a mathematical function i can use to move a decimal point by 1 to the left??
<lokwade> example 2.03 result = 20.3
<Rewt[w]> just multiply it by 10
<Rewt[w]> 2.03 * 10 = 20.3
<lokwade> eerrr oohh yeah!...dang!
Comment: #phphelp
#38995 (67/147) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Char> I used to be pretty dumb with computers. But then I found out you can get porn on them. Two years later I was the mod of an internet forum.Comment: #forum-m@irc.freenode.net
#7814 (265/428) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<[atticus]> My parents think I'm nuts. I sit on my computer most evenings laughing at the monitor. :)
<[atticus]> Then I turn it on and come here. :)
#20855 (100/262) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<|NightChade|> Chinese smorgasboard and beer - $15
<|NightChade|> 3 glasses of red wine - $6
<|NightChade|> 4 salami sticks and a gurana energy drink - $8
<|NightChade|> 2 litres of coke - $1.80
<|NightChade|> The screams of horror of your toilet - Priceless
#62175 (234/396) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<evilAdmin> omg... PDF rules.
<evilAdmin> since everyone figured out the whole blacked out text thing (which is perfectly recoverable)...
<evilAdmin> all of the office is busy putting in hidden quotes and messages at the end of work documents as thick black lines, including upper management and admin (even the CEO is busy quoting 'Gates).
<evilAdmin> Then, coworkers play with the new hires- claiming you can only read it once you print it off. Most of them fall for it, I even saw one guy saying it was a "Magic Eye" sort of thing where the black stripe dissapears and the letters pop out.
<evilAdmin> much to my dismay, his buddy was sitting there cross-eyed with the paper 8cm away from his face.
<evilAdmin> >:)
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