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#1821 (144/326) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<kisama_> i've been quaking so much lately
<kisama_> that when i close my eyes
<kisama_> i see quad damage
<D1> I see naked men.
#26421 (47/263) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<wild-> why do you want to learn japanese
<gloone> to listen to good music, watch good movies and play good videogames.
#2539 (120/272) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
(eowzeiaow) do you gotta best friend that's not your ex?
(metalfrog) yeah
(metalfrog) he lives with my ex
#18957 (317/457) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Randomman> I would'nt be late for work so often if only my cock would go off on fuckin time for once.
*** Randomman has quit IRC (Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.)
#37025 (67/171) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Stryker> Seriously. I've had no money since buying an Xbox.
<Stryker> Fortunately, I can use it as a bed.
Comment: #rm2k on irc.dynastynet.net
#1681 (73/218) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<_|LoCo|> any1 know whats the last album of paul oakenfold?
<al-x> Paul Oakenfold Presents Another Shitty ALbum With All The Same Tracks As the Last 3 Albums
#10025 (245/390) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<a_passerby> I want a :D drive instead of a D: drive
#308192 (93/127) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Ikthyrion> oh wow... finding stuff when you are drunk is really hard
<Ikthyrion> what was I looking for?
<Ikthyrion> I found a cat
<&ZachPrime> you were looking for your phone
#14429 (4/244) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<DownstairsVex> we need mirc for unix
<PrincessLeia2> i think mirc for unix would be a sin %)
<DownstairsVex> but i'd rather laugh with the sinners then cry wit the saints
#6191 (10/224) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<felix:#916> i borked ditto
<felix:#916> it might just need a power cycle.
<p1nky:#916> I thought you had a masterswitch?
<felix:#916> yeah.  ditto's not on the masterswitch, because it's a rock-solid machine.
<slap:#916> irony
#188547 (265/385) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Technocactus> It was actually better when my dad found my porn than when he found out I watched Oprah.
#19245 (231/423) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<kt> i got my tongue pierced
<Eamon_the_goth17> really
<Eamon_the_goth17> so whats it like have a rod and two balls in your mouth??
#18551 (118/312) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@OlDirtyB> YOU NEED A GLASS OF STFU
<Splash> can you actually put that in a glass?
#10883 (38/240) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<jorm> fuck freedom. freedom is for weenies.
<jorm> COOL people want to be oppressed.
#35084 (155/435) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<mafiaboy> it's better to be black than gay cuz when you're black you don't have to tell your mother
#4238 (7/296) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Scofco> i want to stick it up my butt
<Scofco> not my 'chocolate starfish'
<fcastle> lol same diffrence u doosh bag :)
<Scofco> i don't even have a chocolate starfish
<Scofco> i hate seafood
#301149 (412/500) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<+endemDan> i need to find a new job, where customers are not so retarded
<@Gusterbuster> Someone call you and say 'Can you hear me now?'
<+endemDan> no i have had that happen before, but this is even worse
<+endemDan> a customer calls in support from their cell and says she cant find the function she wants to take a pic with
<+endemDan> so i get her phone model blah blah blah, then ask what exactly shes trying to do
<+endemDan> she says 'i see pictures of people where they are holding their phone and are in the picture themselves, how do i take a picture of myself and my phone if the camera does not come off the phone'
<+endemDan> she continues with 'also how are they getting a picture of themselves from the front if i can see the flash?, like the camera is facing away from them during the picture. how do i do that?'
<+endemDan> i couldnt even respond or laugh, i was just in complete awe that someone was actually serious about this question
<+endemDan> then i asked her if she has ever looked at herself in the mirror, and freaks out thinking i just called her ugly or some shit and demands to speak to my manager
<+endemDan> so i put her on hold, get him over and tell him the story and he doesnt believe me and gets on the phone and has her repeat everything she said and then asks her about the complaint against me
<+endemDan> he asks her the same exact thing (it has been about 10 minutes since the call started) and then, then she finally gets it and understands that taking a picture in a mirror is how the people do it
<+endemDan> i dont understand how people like that function in life
<@Gusterbuster> Yea. However you get to sit on your ass all day and answer a phone
Comment: endemDan works at verizon
#35954 (32/192) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
06:18 <Lanfear> yesterday, I was stroaking a cat that laid on a friend's lap..
and, well. I was scratching the cat's tummy and stuff, when I
suddenly became aware of that it was a bit too close to the guy's
crotch
#7275 (116/288) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
[Leviath] I have a funny tingle in my nose. At 3:30pm I ate some Kettle Chilli chips and went into this coughing/snorting fit and coughed a small piece of chilli chip up my nose and snorted it out. It burned like HELL and I in turn created a scene being the 27 year old crying gayboy with a bag of chips in one hand and some printer paper I used to blow my nose on in the other :(((
#15450 (134/289) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<merl> in the UK things are generally pretty wet
<merl> we've adapted
<merl> webbed feet n shit
#37256 (59/203) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<pushead> nothing freaks out the girlfriend like graphic threats of sexual torture and murder
<painiac> does she read them, too?
<pushead> she read the latest one
<painiac> hahahaha
<painiac> that makes it all worthwhile
<painiac> what did she say?
<pushead> 'babe, some guy here says he'll kill you and rape your corpse' 'is it painiac?' 'yes' 'then it's funny. laugh with me' 'your friends are stupid and crazy'
#816 (142/340) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Firebrand> Mario and Luigi are just too "goody goody" with each other.
<Firebrand> I'd wonder what kind of "plumbing" they do
<Firebrand> As I never see them with the tools
#19716 (258/400) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Rendezvou> I want a monkey at home that jerks off and throws shit at people when I host parties at my house.
<`KArmA> Rendezvou: to take the strain off of having you do it?
#26376 (3/251) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<pupazz_> What American Pie Has Taught Us : No need to date if your mother bakes pie.
#52717 (143/269) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
-!- Vyk [~Vyk@dhcp19.public.ummu.umich.edu] has quit [Ping timeout: 198
seconds]
<@orange1> that would be vyk spilling root beer on his powerbook
Comment: he works in the cube next to mine. he yelled some might loud profanities.
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