QDB: Random Quotes
DreamHost About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search

#2795 (185/355) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(Matt^^^) Ok, walk up to a really hot chick and say "I bet you 20 bucks I can make your tits jiggle without touching them"
(Matt^^^) then grab her tits, give her 20 bucks and walk away
#9575 (122/276) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Parc[Cleaning]> I'm starting to worry about my memory :-(
<Parc[Cleaning]> I was walking along, and it struck me that I had to go to the bathroom. So I went to the place, unzipped my pants, and then realized I was standing in front of the trashcan o_O
#56799 (172/394) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<pritch> fwf this is the internet
<pritch> no one cares about your gf unless we see nude pix
#68635 (226/342) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<mojosmackwit> sorry
<mojosmackwit> i have a personality disorder
<clifgriffin> I didn't know "asshole" was considered a personality disorder.
#56287 (126/300) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@saic> lol you have an IRL char?
<@saic> what level?
#29445 (439/577) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<BlazeHedgehog> For a few seconds when AOL first loads it displays the wrong image with the wrong headline on the front page
<BlazeHedgehog> So it's got this guy kneeling at the WTC Memorial, crying, headline reads "HILLARY DUFF'S NEW CD RELEASED"
#6125 (125/331) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<HrdwrBoB_> they are poo :)
<HrdwrBoB_> but hten
<HrdwrBoB_> they are not poo
<HrdwrBoB_> so they are poo and not poo AT THE SAME TIME!!
<Fryboy> quantum poo
#13414 (87/264) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<CheesyPoofs> cheese is good
<CheesyPoofs> I mean "cheese is gouda"
<CheesyPoofs> actually that's not quite true - gouda is cheese
<CheesyPoofs> money is good
<CheesyPoofs> therefore, money is cheese
<CheesyPoofs> which is why it's so good
<sabia> okay whatever you say
<CheesyPoofs> I'm leaving out the technical details
#56387 (119/279) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<papasurf> how do i use irc to search for and download legitimate materials?
#41104 (172/324) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+Desh> oh god
<+Desh> my uncle found an abbandoned white kitten near a dumpster
<+Desh> but it has a little black spot right under the nose
<+Desh> named the cat adolf ;/
Comment: irc.stickserv.net:6666 #stickcat
#66 (5/565) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<noppa> weed: (dont inhale and you will become the next president!!!!!)
#32363 (30/204) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<fred> mmmmm http://www.glenmorangie.com/shop_the/s_malts.asp?offset=8 .
<fred> if this one costs that much think how much a new one would cost!
<Edestiny> alcho
<Edestiny> hehe i added it to my basket
<Pioneer> �175
<fred> errr ed it bills you over your phone bill. you have just cost your parents �175.
<fred> on the plus side you will have a rather nice scotch!
<fred> you may need it when your parents get there phone bill.
<Edestiny> shit
<Edestiny> luckly im at alex's house
Comment: glenmorangie = signal malt scotch website.
#300810 (415/659) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Crimson_Judas: I overheard this chick at lunch talking to a friend
Crimson_Judas: About how she had to terminate her pregnancy when she was young, and now that she's ready for children she can't get pregnant
lemonlimeskull: Classic case of ABORT, RETRY, FAIL.
#55078 (219/389) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
ppcCube: my daughter found a big pile of pennies the other day in some parking lot... "as she was picking them up, a passer by asked 'oh do you collect pennies?'" and my daughter blurts out "Pennies?! screw that, i collect money"
#1776 (136/324) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<cait-sith> being in love
<R0y> i wish
<R0y> it's all just confusing emotion
<R0y> one minute you think you love her, the next minute you're on yahoo masturbating with girls in the united states
#6552 (81/207) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* dagbrown *FINALLY* got licenses for his fucking Sun development environments.
<dagbrown> Sun's licensing department must have the slogan "WE HATE YOU AND WANT YOU TO DIE"
#50199 (354/568) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
capn_midnight wtf? I put down 300, and it said I was winning at 255, then it said that someone else won the bid at 244 and change.
Phantom ha><0red by 3-b4y!
kSquared I have you leading the bid at $255
kSquared with 32 seconds left
kSquared want a screenshot?
capn_midnight I even refreshed 3 times and it said I was winning
capn_midnight sure, kSquared, that would be great
Phantom Python, "haxored by e-bay"
* JM has joined #gamedev
JM Whohoo!
JM I just cheated some dude out of a winning bid!
#26337 (37/235) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<RageFury> 1-800-Wheelchair.com looking for Web Dev. ASAP (Williamsburg, Brooklyn)
<RageFury> I guess they will be interested in server side push technologies.
<RageFury> Their clients can't move themselves.
#73083 (201/403) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Arciel: Yeah but you know, cannibalism is really just another form of recycling
#294792 (344/484) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Xarian: My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.' I bought her a scale. And then the fight started...
#57608 (325/537) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<sutna> You wouldn't think that not knowing the difference between a cupboard and a drawer could break apart a family.
<Seeker> It can?
<sutna> When I was like 6 my mom bought my grandmom a present on my behalf for her birthday. She told me it was in the cupboard and I should go fetch it for granny.
<Seeker> I can see where this is going..
<sutna> So granny is sitting on the couch waiting for her present and I looked in the drawer instead of the cupboard , I came running out the room holding a huge black ribbed dildo.
<Seeker> Well I feel sorry for you but you won't be offended if I piss myself laughing?
<sutna> spose not
#295827 (1448/1592) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<paul> my mom was suspected of child abuse by my pediatrician as a kid
<paul> she swore up and down i wasn't being abused
<paul> the doctor was sceptical
<paul> they went out into the waiting room where I was
<paul> mom was like "paul, come here!"
<paul> I get up, look at her instead of where I was going, and run full tilt into a pole
<paul> doctor's like "sorry maam, you had to see this from my position"
#50686 (17/189) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<lude> do you type things just to see your nick scroll up the screen?
#131422 (391/711) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<lolage> Holy shit. Most epic idea ever.
<lolage> In the history of mankind.
<lolage> A rocket-coffin.
<lolage> You get put in standing upward. Door gets closed and you get launched into the sky
<lolage> with a parachute attached to your body
<lolage> the door blows in mid air
<lolage> parachute autodeploys
<lolage> you float, dead; down into someones garden
<oohal> lolage, you've got issues
<lolage> Oh man. I'd better get started on the blue prints.
#437 (91/277) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<lamont-> spanish kids can speak better english than most kids on aol
<lamont-> when they're fucking three years old!
save page | share

About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search
0.005 (1) 14,881 quotes approved; 8,690 fermenting; karma: 189.4614