QDB: Random Quotes
DreamHost About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search

TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random
#50706 (253/413) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@pixeldust> man i got so much candy tonight
<@ash> awww, pixie still twick oh tweats!
<@pixeldust> stfu
<@pixeldust> what you do for all hallow's eve?
<@ash> scared little kids that came up to my porch.
<@X5-424> went to a costume party at a hotel
<@b0bby-d1g1tal> i shaved my pubes off and painted my sack up like a pumpkin
<@b0bby-d1g1tal> then jumped out of the closet bare assed when my girlfriend got home and said "trick or treat bitch!" and chased her around the apartment with my wang.
<@ash> o_O
<@X5-424> leave it to bobby to kill a conversation dead in its tracks.
Comment: #red-eclipse
#6459 (272/456) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Bobo> what's wrong with being a homosexual?
<klong> it's gay
#298212 (1018/1116) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
CoJaBo> Tho technicly, if its combusting at a subsonic rate, its called defloration..
RADiX> Thanks, Ill fix it on the way to class :)
! RADiX has quit (Leaving).
CoJaBo> *Deflagration, lol that would have been bad o_O
CoJaBo> uh-oh...
#4886 (229/400) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<chris--> now i have to tell the coach that i can't play because my wrist hurts
<chris--> and he asks me how i injuried it
<chris--> and i say swinging a bat
<chris--> and it sounds stupid.
<chris--> it has 'masturbation injury' written all over it
#29420 (110/260) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Xylene> hey Hawq, fuck you, you dirty sheep fucker!!! ahhh
<SinisterTengu> lol
<Xylene> just kidding
<Hawq> I'll have you know I bathed that sheep myself so it was clean beforehand
<Hawq> I'd never have a dirty one
Comment: irc.cheatlist.com #dcemu
#11003 (94/251) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Journey> I get, from the reactions of the world to our policies, that it doesn't matter what the hell we do--we're always the bad guy. So fuck everybody else.
<RedFox> You've been a chanop before, haven't you?
#13850 (22/250) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<LeanaAnne> Oooh, I guess lacrosse builds up the ol' ass muscles ^___^
<Seiya> Ha, so does being gay. :x
#16472 (177/315) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<AkumaUsagi> because every scoobie doo episode could have been 1 minute long if only someone would have eventually bought a gun.
#306718 (244/324) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[talking about kuwait]
everbong: i almost got blowed up back in the day.. thats how i got the name everbong
MaxGripper: really?
MaxGripper: what happened?
everbong: this lady came up to a small group of us, saying something, and i was like "everbong?? wtf??" we started to walk away and she exploded
everbong: apparantly she was saying "i have a bomb" in fail english
#2819 (87/294) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<neck> i no longer wear tshirts
<neck> oh, wtf am i talking about, i have on on as i speak
#4326 (45/267) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<MrFreeze> AND I PUT 3 OZ OF WEED IN 2 COOKIES
<MrFreeze> AND THEY WERE LIKE 1" ACROSS
<MrFreeze> MMM THEY WERE YUM!
<noj> and 2 feet high!
#11593 (133/313) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Fireklar> Anyone know what could cause a monitor to dim like that besides impending death?
<mig|flurry> fireklar: impending death.
<slurpee> impending death of your eyesight
<mig|flurry> fireklar: capacitors pretending to be resistors.
<Fireklar> DAMN YOU CAPACITORS
<Fireklar> I hate those bastards
#731 (87/291) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<reptile-> My friend and I took a bunch of fucked up CDs
<reptile-> and labeled them with various things
<reptile-> like
<reptile-> "PRE-TEEN SEX"
<reptile-> "GAY PORN"
<reptile-> "RAPED AND IMPREGNATED TEENS"
<reptile-> etc, etc.
<reptile-> and like stuck the "PRE-TEEN SEX" one in the window of the kindergarten.
<reptile-> and stuck one that said "CHILD SEX" under the bigtoy at primary school
<reptile-> I wish I could have seen the reactions from the people that found the CDs. :|
#2820 (76/239) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[Lord-Data] hell, woudlnt mind a girlfriend
[Duckarse] ditto
[incorrect] there's always ebay
#29264 (129/335) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Neverender> 0_o
<Neverender> why does my hand smell of urine?
<Cathode> You pissed on it?
<Neverender> ah, yes...
Comment: #pcgf on GamesNet
#310794 (74/84) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<anodos_> good entropy source - leave a newbie with a file open in vi, ask him to exit it, and track all the keystrokes
#31562 (173/407) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<wildboar> http://marsrovers.jpl.nasa.gov/gallery/all/spirit.html
<Wish> no colour pictures? :(
<wildboar> they can't be in color or you would realize this is actually somewhere in Nevada
#3510 (42/258) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Demamas> RAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWR! *explodes*
<Nyphur> BAD! NO BONE FOR Demamas! BACK IN YOUR CAGE !!
*** Signoff: Demamas (Ping timeout)
<Nyphur> oops
<Nyphur> I forgot I left his cage off the server
#17828 (235/402) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<standby> i'm moving to my own office tomorrow
<standby> i feel so cool
<standby> i'll be able to mastrubate while i work
<standby> well i allready do but it will be easier
#29454 (188/350) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<jeebas> seems like i have quite a few kids on ebay
<jeebas> err bids
#16536 (118/266) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<MercyBeat04> linux command prompts are like dos on acid with a credit card out on the town. You can do anything.
#18874 (106/262) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<mikerosoft666>: CILF, car i'd like to fuck.
<ciduli>: yeah , right up the muffler, hehe.
<mikerosoft666>: well i was thinkin put it in the intake so it sucks on it.
<ciduli>: ewww, you sick fuck >:-0, youve actually thought about this!!!!
#35113 (199/413) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
_Sarah_: so what do you do all night?
groogle: ....
groogle: fuck with peoples minds on irc  ;)
_Sarah_: ahhhh
_Sarah_: so im just a victim?
#84 (185/487) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<matt> too bad her head looks like an ass
<scv> thats makes blowjobs better, matt
#44122 (103/193) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<michael`> i mean the whole idea of the separation of powers is that each branch of government will be power-hungry and try to grab as much power as possible by subverting the other two
<michael`> and they all, in theory, work against each other to produce an equilibrium
<Nithos> Heh, so if you're locked in a cage with a ravenous wolf, all you need is a pissed off tiger in there with you to keep you safe?
Comment: #geekissues
save page | share

About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search
0.004 (1) 14,858 quotes approved; 8,714 fermenting; karma: 189.5895