|
TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random |
#73308 (160/386) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
< orange9> someone make me a margarita
* Dethboy makes orange a Dethboy Margarita
< orange9> how you make yours?
< Dethboy> well... its a shot of whiskey and a beer but i am wearing a sombrero
< Dethboy> i despise tequila |
#11647 (28/202) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Hydrac7> We're desperate to get rid of it
<Astroboy> so desperate you will give it away for free?
<Hydrac7> People around here are too poor to get ripped off by me |
#57018 (352/548) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<lefter> anyways, long sorty short, she shoved 2 fingers in my ass
<celeste_> literally, or figuratively?
<lefter> literally
<lefter> i don't know how you would have 2 fingers figuratively put into ones ass |
#32691 (213/379) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@winterstick> ok, about time to go to school
<@winterstick> learn about social problems! oh boy!
<+BalefireX> man
<+BalefireX> you hang out in IRC
<+BalefireX> you know ALL ABOUT social problemsComment: #gideontech
|
#16858 (164/364) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<manero> MANLY THINGS:
<manero> 1) JOHN WAYNE
<manero> 2) WAR MOVIES
<manero> 3) BEER BRATS
<rebrane-> 3) WAR MOVIES WITH JOHN WAYNE
<rebrane-> 4) FARTING
<manero> 5) LARGE CIGARS
<rebrane-> 6) CARS
<rebrane-> 7) FIRE
<manero> 8) BOWLING
<rebrane-> 9) CARS ON FIRE
<ian> 10) BEAR SUIT
<rebrane-> 11) GUNS
<rebrane-> 12) GUITARS
<skitzo> 11) ANAL SEX WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND IN THE TOOL SHED
<Primary> 13) JOHN WAYNE'S GUN
<rebrane-> there's already an 11, skitzo |
#8259 (3/277) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<akumapan> yous ound like poopoo
<andy> You type like poop.
<andy> and your mother was suspicious that it took her nine whole months to take a crap, so she named it just in case. |
#21982 (256/436) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
PunkRocks64: we watched Matrix 1 in chemistry today.
PunkRocks64: and you know how Morpheus says the beginning of the end was the creation of AI?
EventuallyAdonis: what about it?
PunkRocks64: he says basically that the what started the machines taking over was human's fascination with AI..
PunkRocks64: and.. have you noticed that like 99% of our population is infatuated with American Idol .........
EventuallyAdonis: that's deep |
#52518 (144/318) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<nox>I was sitting on the bus on my way to school and couldn’t help pausing my iPod for this one:
<nox>Black man #1: Yo! Whut the fuck are you lookin’ at?!
<nox>Black (business suit wearing) man #2: Would it hurt for you to speak respectably to others?
<nox>Black man #1: Nigga whut? Are you black? You looks black, but dat must just be black paint on yo skin!
<nox>Black (business suit wearing) man #2: Nevermind. I appologize. I’m sorry.
<nox>Black man #1: You sorry?! Don’t say sorry to me! Say sorry to yo momma!!! Call her up right now! Say sorry dat you lost yo real color!Comment: .derekilicious @ wordpress
|
#6662 (1/223) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<enrol> my new ircing technique is unstoppable
<jj> do you think youre dalnet sword can defeat me!?
<jj> en guard, ill let you try my efnet style |
#1967 (159/323) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<JDigital> It's official: Nostradamus was a stoner.
<JDigital> His name wasn't even Nostradamus. It was Michel du Nostredame
<JDigital> Nostradamus was just his IRC nick |
#224117 (251/323) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Scopes13mtg> Anybody know a good place to buy Russian singles online?
<Scopes13mtg> edit: To clarify, I am looking for Magic cards. |
#18126 (122/281) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Carlton>I see someone walking down the street wearing all black I think, "Probably has a favourite Linux distribution." |
#14781 (195/311) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<throwback> you mean to say that someone overreacted on irc?
<throwback> when the fuck does that happen? |
#300242 (90/306) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Tunder> i'm not good in math but i know 4 minutes is not 240 secs |
#21561 (4/186) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
[16:13] <goatasaur> ahh, porn
[16:24] <goatasaur> what were we talking about? |
#18256 (52/251) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<endura> I like to get an idea of how easy itd be to get laid if I walked onto a campus in a gorilla suit with a giant banana as genitalia |
#34100 (187/351) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<kisama> man the way i fool my mom for a bong is great
<kisama> i just wash out the chamber with alcohol and rock salt
<kisama> so it's sparkly clean
<kisama> after each smoking session
<kisama> and stash the still filthy bowl in my closet somewhere
<kisama> i just leave the bong drying, in the open
<kisama> she thinks its chemistry equipment
<kisama> it's so great
<Josho> haah
<kisama> if i go smoking somewhere i just take the thing in plain view
<kisama> and say i'm going to do chemistry experiments
<kisama> of course upon going outside i fucking stash it
<kisama> because other people know better |
#20688 (205/362) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<markogogo> Do you Americans know what a "Bubba" is?
<ptachka> yes, we elected one |
#68954 (252/446) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<MrZodiac> oh man
<MrZodiac> this is so awkward
<MrZodiac> This girl who I boink now and again is in an open relationship with a dude I knew in college
<MrZodiac> This past weekend she and I made merry, and I threw ropey jets of jism all over her and some of the furnature we were making merry on
<MrZodiac> And I used a towel to clean her and the furnature off
<MrZodiac> So the guy sends me a myspace IM today asking me which towel I used
<MrZodiac> ugh
<MrZodiac> I feel weirdComment: #bifemunix on EFnet
|
#6492 (27/213) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Bobo> Hobo-Niff, will you be my partner in dance dance strangulation? |
#2211 (224/374) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<CiXeL> apparently a customer got pissed at us this morning and sent our sales secretary goatse.cx as an attachment |
#301487 (83/111) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
saltydog: i told you
thero: you did?
saltydog: you said youd go if someone bought you a drink
thero: stop talking to me when im drunk
saltydog: that leaves a 5 minute window each day to talk to you
thero: thats not my problem |
#4918 (238/391) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<joey`> mcdonalds fired me for trying to install irc on the teleprompter |
#1112 (7/335) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<BlackDeth> gb: ph33r im gonna be seeing spacegirl in a few weeks :P
<LkTrout1> Deth is a boner.
<blazemore> lk has a blackdeth. |
#6905 (47/210) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<sbp> oh, I just remembered something
<Morbus> no, i already dropped your underwear in the mail. |
|
save page |
share: reddit
stumbleupon
digg
facebook
twitter
tumblr
|
|