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#28691 (159/357) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<influx> heh what is it with irc and gay jokes?
<zaggy> influx: they go together like my penis and your juicy ass
#21286 (327/466) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Charles> Well, Smith is a virus now.
<Charles> (Whee irony regarding his 'humans are a virus' thing in the first movie)
<Charles> So I think he wouldn't so much upgrade as mutate, like when he developed the ability to infect people.
<Zereth> I've heard him comapred to a pop-up ad.
<Zereth> Kill one and another dozen show up.
<Zereth> "Mister Anderson, click here for HOT TEEN BUTTFUCKING."
#48892 (169/379) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
storm-shadow: damn it!!
storm-shadow: my computer has got some huge cock problems!
storm-shadow: not a regular problem... not even a big problem... no, that would be too weak a wording.
storm-shadow: this is a huge cock problem!
storm-shadow: when i open firefox, my comp freezes up for about thirty seconds.
storm-shadow: won't respond at all.  i hit start, nothing. ctrl + alt + del, nothing.
storm-shadow: then thirty seconds later, all that shit starts popping up on me.
storm-shadow: that, by definition, is a huge cock problem.
snake-eyes: that is weird
snake-eyes: not your computer freezing, that's fairly common
snake-eyes: but, your choice of words does indeed frighten me
#7801 (217/362) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(PJ) grrr
(PJ) a car alarm is going off
(PJ) OH FOR GOD SHAKES SOMEONE SHOOT THE DAMN CAR
(PJ) fuck
(PJ) its our car
#15319 (47/359) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Hack4Kix> There were three explorers, hiking through what is now known as Canada.
<Hack4Kix> "You know," said one of the explorers, "we should name this place we're hiking through."
<Hack4Kix> "I know," said the second explorer. "We'll each pick a letter and then make a name out of that."
<Hack4Kix> "Okay," said the third, "I'll go first. C, eh."
<Hack4Kix> "N, eh."
<Hack4Kix> "D, eh." And that's how they named Canada...
<Shao> g-eh
#68888 (371/513) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Phryss: to change stuff, I need a password I don't remember
Phryss: but I wrote it down for safe-keeping
Phryss: I wrote it on a post-it
Phryss: and put the post-it in the owner's manual
Phryss: which my parents lost.
Phryss: so I click the "forgot password" link
Phryss: which gives me a password hint
Phryss: The hint that I chose tells me that it's on the post-it that's inside the owners manual that my parents lost.
#69917 (178/402) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<RuneCaster> I also hate people that walk up behind you and say something that sounds like the trigger to a conversation directed at you
<RuneCaster> Then you turn around and they're talking to a product from the store
<RuneCaster> "Well look who it is!" (I turn around) "Wha?"
<RuneCaster> and numbnuts is talking to Steven Seagal on the front of a dvd cover.
#9262 (102/261) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Panny: I could sell my soul back to my ex for a computer.
RebelPrincess: don't.
Panny: I could sell my soul to Microsoft for a computer.
RebelPrincess: don't!!!!
#4902 (184/344) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<iban> in 5 years irc will be obsolite
<ryano> so will spelling
#303084 (157/351) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<happyman|sleep> man i was just thinking of something. it would be great to setup an entire irc server of nothing but bots. that appear to be real people. so when random people join the server. they can spend weeks there thinking they are really talking to people.. only to randomly come back every now and then and let all the people know they were all only bots
<+Wolvenhaven> lol
<+Wolvenhaven> i used to run a room called #someonewhocares
<+Wolvenhaven> and it was moderated
<+Wolvenhaven> with a bot which tried to convince people to suicide
#14690 (252/419) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Zedd: i fucking hate kids.
IronHelix: They won't shut up. Ever.
Zedd: Fucking annoying brats.  They serve no practical purpose other than taking up valuable resources.
IronHelix: They scream when they're happy. They scream when they're scared. They scream when you toss them in the garbage disposal. It never ends!
#5272 (244/417) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<django23> I have a stupid question: what does "sendmail" do?
<Epesh> django: you're right, that is pretty stupid
#18616 (143/309) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<UBeR> If Barbie is so popular, then why do you have to buy her friends?
#147438 (185/393) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<TakeV> I don't know! Who ever heard of mixing SATA and IDE!?
<TakeV> The good thing is that trial and error can't really hurt you with IDE. :P
<Monk-e> are you crazy?
<TakeV> I'm told by some...
<Monk-e> IDE adjusts to the lowest speed in 1 cable. you just dont combine a HD and a CD drive. thats madness
<TakeV> Madness?
<TakeV> This. Is. SAAATTTAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
#302934 (666/810) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Ted: Usually we get a virga rainfall here.
bob read that as viagra rainfall
ErinH: lol
Ted: sigh, bob
ian: "if you have rainfall lasting more than 4 hours, contact your weatherman"
Ted: heh
MichelleH: dare I ask what virga rainfall is?
bob: gah. now I have "it's raining men" stuck in my head
Ted: it's rain that evaporates before hitting the ground
ErinH: cool
bob: heh. premature evaporation.
#1060 (227/413) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<tokage> ha ha 'geek' weddings - "Do you, GandalfGreyhame, take cyndrekit to be your lawfully wedded wife in uptime and down, for low processing power and high, till someone unplugs the power cord
#30933 (145/311) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<jp-minip[hw]> pm me with romantic christmas gift ideas for ur girlfriend, dont pm me unless u have one ty ;) [/amsg]
<jp-minip[hw]> omg fking fags forget it, goatse.cx cookies are NOT romantic
#111790 (369/543) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<maherarar> I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ONCE IN 1989 AND I NEVER LOOKED BACK.
#29055 (3/241) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Mongvar> .de go develope the pictures for christs sake :P
<Bringa> ahah
<Bringa> gave them to the development store called 'my mum' today
<Bringa> they'll be done by Tuesday
<Bringa> remember, this is good ole germany
<Bringa> nothing works on weekends
<Bringa> and by nothing I mean Leon's mum!
<Bringa> :P
<Woc[food]> haha
<Errtu> dont invoke her voodoo wrath
<Woc[food]> I do hope her workmates don't read the Holy Bible
<Woc[food]> cause it says that if you work on the day of rest, you should be stoned to death :/
<Errtu> i'm stoned to death every day
Comment: #tavern / worldirc
#53949 (125/289) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Rep> What do I say to my Mum when she discovers I bombed 26 days of meds in six fucking hours?
<kdogground2> Time flys when your having fun.
Comment: Yay for medication.
#9659 (216/409) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<nikki> can you tell me what a clitoris is because someone is asking me about mine and I don't know what the hell it is
#297158 (159/219) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<furan> so I dropped by my lab to pick up my air conditioner
<furan> things I did not expect to find in the alleyway:
<furan> 1) a fetish shoot
<furan> 2) a fetish shoot
#711 (107/367) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<iln> she was taking her pants off one time
<iln> and her underwear
<iln> and i was watching from the back
<iln> and i said "damn. you have a nice ass."
<iln> then she got on all fours and said "you wanna put it in?"
<iln> and thats how i stole kristin doan's anal virginity.
#162336 (508/836) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<aq> are you using Adium still?
<ChrisKite> When I use OS X
<ChrisKite> but right now OS X is wiped from my iMac
<ChrisKite> lol
<ChrisKite> I just have XP
<aq> :|
<aq> That's like an exorcism gone wrong!
<aq> It's like you tried to cast out the demons, but accidentally cast out the soul instead...
#18 (2278/3980) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<TOZTWO> I was kinda shy, and still am, so right after sex, I started getting dressed before she could turn on the lights......
<TOZTWO> Well, she turns the light on, and I have my clothes on already, and she can't find her undies.......
<TOZTWO> But she finds my undies next to the bed.
<TOZTWO> Guess whose undies I'm wearing?
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