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#15493 (139/375) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<tak> if i move to canada ill be so rich
<tak> cause your money sucks
<disco-stu> yep
<disco-stu> but at least our country doesnt!
<tak> haha
<Ped> haha
<vivid> haha
<aj> haha
<blakangel> haha
#301268 (82/106) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Phoon: Well, I got my GRE tentative scores back
Phoon: Verbal: 710.
Phoon: Quantitative: 800.
Ros: How'd you do on the bikini part?
Phoon: Ros: Better than expected. Only two of the judges vomited.
#18280 (11/269) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[dozer] if i say what i wanted to say i'd probably get quoted/laughed at so i'm not going to
#21616 (221/379) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[20:10] * Aery has joined #online
[20:10] <Aery> boobs boobs boobs
[20:10] <Aery> buttsex
[20:10] <Aery> boobs
[20:10] <Trax> .
[20:10] <Aery> buttsex
[20:10] * Aery has left #online
[20:10] <Treen> She had an entire night's conversation in under a minute.
#62316 (210/394) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Trinexx> greatest feeling on earth: being pissed off because you dont have any cigs, then reaching for your wallet to see how much cash you have and finding out that you have a pack of cigs in your back pocket ^_^
(... a few seconds later...)
#159419 (922/1050) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
ruide: hey chris, stop fuckin cybering and let me show you something
cyph33r: what
cyph33r: i dont cyber cockbite, i have a gf
ruide: haha
cyph33r: what did you want to show me
ruide: i made an account on that scrabble website you go to
ruide: bubblegal_14
cyph33r: wtf
cyph33r: omg fuck you you fucking prick
ruide: chrisharker: i slide two fingers into your tight asshole
ruide: chrisharker: i've never done this before, am i doing it right?
#61277 (2515/2939) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Hekili_Manu Ok. So I called my bank's fraud dept about that hotels.com letter I got since I apparently used them twice with two different cards. I forgot completely that when I signed up you can assign your own security question online.
Hekili_Manu So when I called and spoke to the guy they use the same security question and he asked me "Ok, I just need to verify one thing. How big is your c**k?"
Hekili_Manu It took me a moment to remember that and I was like "Uh....."
#38913 (24/146) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+DX_> Neo: do they spell porn "pourn" in britain?
#28371 (19/231) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<ptw> rofl
<ptw> oh shit
<ptw> I have pissed myself
<ptw> afk
#27278 (214/380) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<|Moopy|> My ass will heal...Its like wolverine
<Deltron> its hairy and smells?
<|Moopy|>Yups and heals fast
<Deltron> you'd be popular in jail then
#93698 (6/712) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<TheFoundation> "Enraged spice miners on Naboo"
<TheFoundation> spice
<TheFoundation> real original
<Cyber> "Our lawyers can't repel plagiarism of THAT magnitude!"
#5483 (119/292) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<kkenn> Traffic lights
<kkenn> Remember folks. Traffic lights timed for 35 mph are also properly timed for 70 mph.
#31823 (557/729) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<ihatestan> god I hate my little brother
<ihatestan> its my mothers birthday and I got her a Amethyst necklace
<ihatestan> than out of no where my brother goes "mom has +3 strengh"
#6781 (156/326) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<^o-o^> somebody told me once never to use the words "I", "myself" or "me" in a resume
<^o-o^> anybody here follow this rule ?
<DeLorean> No.
<DeLorean> It sounds wishy-washy.
<cafuego> I myself have never applied that rule to me.
#18220 (15/387) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<jesus_> my healing hands be drivin tha virgins wild.
#309512 (75/93) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< elliott> As mentioned in the outline history section a French artillery officer by the name of Nicholas Cugnot (1729-1804) made a steam three-wheeler intended for military use in 1769. This was arguably the first 'motor vehicle' although the small boiler could carry only enough water for a fifteen minute run and the maximum speed was about 4mph.
< elliott> In spite of these limitations on his first road trial of the three wheeler machine, making him arguably the first motorist, M. Cugnot hit a wall, becoming the first motorist to have an accident, and after several more experiments he scored the hat trick by becoming the first person to be arrested and imprisoned for dangerous driving.
#3783 (109/299) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(acidxxx) phone sex isnt expensive
(acidxxx) dial 0 and start talking nasty
(acidxxx) takes them at least 45 seconds before they hang up on you
(acidxxx) "I wanna take you doggie style in this phone booth and rub your head in the chewing gum"
#301633 (87/155) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<HalfNote5> Have you ever noticed that everyone loves a comedy site right up until it's something important to them that's being satirized or made fun of? "I LOVED it when you made fun of Nazis, the KKK, and the Spanish Inquisition, but I'll have you know, as a Rural American Militia member, I'm insulted that you refer to our 'Justice Dorms' as 'Compounds'. I'll never read your crappy site again!"
#9936 (23/289) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* Beerbaron oils up the chainsaw and sharpens his axe
*** ChanServ has quit IRC (Canada-Hub.EnterTheGame.Com Ky-Hub.EnterTheGame.Com)
*** [50disses]Zaccix has quit IRC (Canada-Hub.EnterTheGame.Com Ky-Hub.EnterTheGame.Com)
*** Pepha-ungh has quit IRC (Canada-Hub.EnterTheGame.Com Ky-Hub.EnterTheGame.Com)
[18:36] *** Slachter has quit IRC (Canada-Hub.EnterTheGame.Com Ky-Hub.EnterTheGame.Com)
*** [RSU]Stillborn has quit IRC (Canada-Hub.EnterTheGame.Com Ky-Hub.EnterTheGame.Com)
*** [RSU]8-4-7-2|mirc has quit IRC (Canada-Hub.EnterTheGame.Com Ky-Hub.EnterTheGame.Com)
*** QAPete|afk has quit IRC (Canada-Hub.EnterTheGame.Com Ky-Hub.EnterTheGame.Com)
#303121 (40/54) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<D--> Haiku OS is so fast, it makes me feel like I'm using a computer in 1990 instead of 2010.
<hcs> that's what you get when the developers have the discipline to write each subroutine in exactly 17 instructions
Comment: #zophar @ espernet
#1978 (70/258) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
~ tiko wishes he was part of this seceret club known as "jew"
(tiko) but when the entry fee is part of your cock, I think I'll pass
#3532 (6/340) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<blazemore> indian, asian.. same difference, they both end with "ian"
#1504 (1/349) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<dr\gonzo> fuck linux
<dr\gonzo> that's the OS for people that don't wear deodorant
#8018 (113/277) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<syncretic> whats the best program for capping tv
<JtHM> Handgun v2.4b
#47483 (455/613) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Xavier> Aidenn is awesome.
<Xavier> I just went downstairs to put on some tea for her, and she put on some music for me by SSHing into the computer near the kitchen.
<Xavier> that's totally hot.
<Aidenn> I've SSHed my way into Xavier's heart
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