QDB: Random Quotes
About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search

#298101 (139/257) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<borg[of]nine> There is something so delightfully sinister about replying to online dating ads while you're taking a shit.
#374 (142/348) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<redslime> "let's take the nutritional balance of oriental food, put it in
batter and deep fry it"
<redslime> "yeah!"
<redslime> i love eggrolls
#20473 (212/404) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<tps-> dude
<tps-> they used nmap in the matrix
<tps-> HEH
<tps-> im serious
<_static_> hah
<tps-> in the new movie
<tps-> lol
<tps-> it shows a shot of a linux terminal
<tps-> and a sh shell
<tps-> and it shows nmap running
<tps-> and 1 port was found
<_static_> surprised keanu could figure that stuff out
<tps-> i was like HOLY CRAP THATS NMAP
<tps-> and my friends just stared at me
<tps-> it was trinity
<_static_> probably had to have a stunt computer user
#18377 (8/206) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<jitspoe> birds don't have a penis
<Zim|DP> jit: but they have a pecker =)
#25178 (214/354) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(PowrSlave) how r things?
(DAMMiT_) good
(DAMMiT_) well
(DAMMiT_) except for the fact that my 88 GT just got blown away by a Beetle with
a license plate labeled "KIWI"
#51440 (148/308) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<marena> ill ring the clubs and shit within a few weeks
<dux0r> i'd suggest you shit beforehand, u may explode
#284 (303/543) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ikkenai> what does sex in a boat and american beer have in common
<ikkenai> they're both fucking close to water
#266625 (354/554) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
kwenda: this lady who works here is so disgusting
kwenda: fat and ugly
kwenda: she rubbed my hair in the middle of a�meeting
kwenda: i stood up and left the meeting without saying anything
kwenda: went to supercuts and got a shampoo and a haircut
kwenda: walked back into the meeting and sat down
#52131 (126/364) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Freddie> I think you have sand in your vagina
<DJ_Yami> wtf is a vagina
Comment: #atthepark on etg
#311229 (14/58) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Jigsy> A Nightmare on Elm Street was an inside job. WAKE. UP. PEOPLE!
#56157 (18/230) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(+tfg) I wonder how far my punto could tow a caravan
(gez) nowhere without being illegal, otherwise anywhere downhill
(+tfg) how would it be illegal?
(gez) your licence wont cover it
(+tfg) wrong
(+tfg) as long as it's under 3 tonne I'm sorted
(gez) you sure?
(+tfg) I can drive a car + trailer up to a combined mass of 3500KG
(gez) who the fuck tows anything over 3 tons?
(Jani) aeroplanes weigh over 3 tonnes
(gez) true
(gez) i must remember not to tow mine to school tomorrow
(Jani) gonna fly it instead?
#35490 (302/524) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<vice> you remember that asian girl i wanted
<eric`> yeap
<vice> she got suspended for 10 days
<vice> for giving head to some black dude in the hallway
<simon-say> what happened to the guy?
<vice> suspended also
<simon-say> "I got suspended for recieving head"
<vice> she was a good girl too ;\
<vice> oh well
<simon-say> good girls don't blow black guys in the hallways at school
#15770 (130/292) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<tober> I actually did the math once, and it's improbable that a million monkeys with a million typewriters (one typewriter per monkey) that all type at the rate of a good typist 24/365 would ever produce the collected works of shakespeare before the heat death of the universe. So there.
#15009 (82/208) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
�� WALLOP lilo:  Just for the record, having pr0n spambots is no excuse for responding with evangelical Christian spambots....let's show some self-control, folks 8)
#4872 (118/276) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<nost> whered iban go
<langdon> home
<nost> this is his home
#26218 (216/376) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<IAmQueenLara> Oh yeah, I remember you... You disappeared one night after I sent you my photo
#8309 (101/242) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Xunil96> because i have a metric ass-ton of perl to write
<Dr_V> would a metric ass have 10 cheeks?
#14277 (2/258) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<nihil-_> she's about as darling as waking up in the morning with another mans semen all over my face
#32731 (5/337) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@FireRun> one day i will buy some cds
<@FireRun> and give back
<@FireRun> because i cant find them online
#28806 (1/297) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<tuls> i'll never tell
<LaLaLand> slut
<LaLaLand> you're name is slut spelled backwards
* LaLaLand is soo fucking slow
<tuls> you are name is slut spelled backwards
#307358 (96/176) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Roxsie> hey sebas, what do you call a man with a rabbit up his bum?
<@Sebas> A shit magician.
#311276 (16/46) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Talgie> I hate having to put pants on
<Jake2> Who are you talking to?
<@Talgie> Anyone who answers
<Jake2> So no one?
<@Talgie> You answered, didn't you ;)
#3319 (3/241) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Blaz_> zwhats the old bitches name on spin city
<Blaz_> heather locklear
<Blaz_> shes gota be 40 something
<WS666> Heather is something like 40 but I'd drag my balls across a mile of broken glass to do her
#51570 (11326/13212) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<fabz> I think we need to work on our communication.. one guy is talking crap, one just goes "lol" and the other one doesn't understand what's going on
<atsleek> lol
<Nefemus> what?
#17989 (179/319) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<GoreGasm> i'm sure i could beet you up, and i would
<th0m> *laying on sidewalk covered in beets*
save page | share

About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search
0.005 (1) 14,786 quotes approved; 8,799 fermenting; karma: 189.3432