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#1728 (165/401) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Jeffwey> i will buy a camoflouged condom so u wont see me coming
#28960 (301/417) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<m[e]ntor> Does anyone know where I can buy 100 m of wireless lan cable?
<insight> Well, you could try NASA's "things not yet and never will be invented"-department or something.
#58677 (365/529) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Crist> guyds i need u to help me
<Crist> my roomate glured my hannds to my mouse and desk'
<Crist> fuckrs ive been stuk herre for a hour
<Hoopaw> how the fuck are you typing?
<Crist> my nosea wttf explai ns my baad typuing
<Hoopaw> noted
#51050 (186/342) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@kickaha> I'm beginning to be seduced by the life of leisure shit.
<Franoculator> run for President.  You get 6 weeks of vacation per month.
<`WarpKat> yea...and also whenever there's a crisis
#2164 (90/250) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
::: .signoff@1.32p> m|ch (michelle@XX-XX-XX-XXX.ivideon.com); to get over someone old, get under someone new
#299613 (273/499) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Stormscape> Yo dawg we heard you like Macs so we only put one pedal in your car
#16903 (32/226) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< Tilt-GOD> well i gotta go find some little kids to kidnap and take back to my hippie comune (this is the coolest part about being a hippie, we steal small children in the night and eat them)
#28298 (99/327) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Trivbot0> What is South Korea's national dish called?
<Logic_BomB> rats
<Logic_BomB> rice
<Logic_BomB> children
#125172 (306/458) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<davy> remember when braveheart came out and everyone said you can't have mel gibson playing a scottish guy cuz it wont be realistic?
<davy> well look at him now
<davy> an alcoholic racist
#306931 (430/510) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Jimbo> The best way for a baker to prevent his delicious cakes being stolen would be to cover them in dogshit and broken glass, but in doing so he would also kill his sales. Ubisoft are currently that baker.
#44411 (141/283) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
scanty@SPARC: i had a hard time finding a mother's day card.
scanty@SPARC: since they don't make any for dysfunctional families.
helf: lol
aGNUstic: heh
scanty@SPARC: I find the perfect card.
scanty@SPARC: then open it.
scanty@SPARC: and it says some sh*t like "I love you*
#295402 (286/374) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<incesticide> fine, you can have ops
<incesticide> but first you must answer this skill testing question
<incesticide> you are in a race, and overtake the person in second place
<incesticide> what is 2+2?
<cj> oh fuck
#301022 (1084/1236) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Fraxtil> ugh
<Fraxtil> a bunch of mormons came to my door
<taiyal> lol
<Fraxtil> and I decided to listen to them
<taiyal> you didn't convert did you
<Fraxtil> fucking 15 minutes later they're done and I have a Book of Mormon and some pamphlets
<Fraxtil> haha no
<taiyal> I have a Book of Mormon
<taiyal> got it for free off the internet
<NitroX72> they can actually drag on that long?
<Fraxtil> yes, nitro
<taiyal> i've read most of the first book
<taiyal> you know what's even better
<taiyal> on the page of the Mormon website where you can request a free book
<taiyal> you can check a box saying that you would like to have a representative come to your door and explain to you
<taiyal> so you can essentially beam mormons at people
#4143 (123/285) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<uneasier> would it be out of line if i were to request that my testes be softly nestled within your food receptacle?
<Jan__> mmm braized testicle
<Jan__> with a nice bottle of chianti
<Jan__> fthfthfthfthfthfthfth!
* uneasier runs away
#2222 (252/399) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Turing_> this is going to sound very gay, but we were watching the discovery channel today at work where there were these sort of african olympics in a tribe when a male reaches mating age
<Turing_> anyways...the guy had to be nude and do this relay on a balance beem to appease some god
<kunio> HAW
<Turing_> it was strange because even flacid he had a penis the size of the empire state building
<orestes--> gah
<dab[afk]> ugh
<Turing_> it was mesmorizing, my secretary kept in rythym to its bobbing
<Turing_> lol
<Turing_> I felt terribly inadequate
<Turing_> I hate the discovery channel
#26401 (136/340) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<`dsx-efnex> counterfieting canadian money is about as useful as cloning the french.
#20037 (127/271) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Lum_> From tomorrow through Labor Day, a U.S. holiday celebrated on September 3, jeans are fine for all non-customer situations, any day of the week.
<Loafman> Now, is that black jeans or all colors?
<Lum_> all colors
<Xeen> I say we push this as far as it will go.
<Lum_> I got some with no crotch
<Soulflame> ...
<Lum_> I'll wear those tomorrow
<Xeen> Ok, so not quite as far as it will go.
#1603 (94/331) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
#126796 (322/488) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<simonova> so, supposing I wanted to show you guys the program I wrote, what's the best way to go about that?
<ubajas> Kill the president and clutch a printout of the program in your hands, as you're brought down by security guards.
Comment: #perl
#152127 (203/547) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@jig[g]ster> yeah ignore me i'm on acid :P (methamphetaminelly speaking)
<@jig[g]ster> er, metaphorically*
#14411 (31/192) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<PrincessLeia2> crow, i think you would be a happier person if you had a fireplace... i feel so much better after we burn junkmail
<Titu´┐Ż Crow> i would much rather burn junkppl
#49794 (228/404) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[Mediator] Ok so there was this gel pack with my heatsink
[Mediator] And it says all over it "Do not eat"
[Mediator] So its been lying on my desk for like 4 days
[Mediator] So I stabbed it with a screw driver today out of bordom
[Mediator] and some little balls came out
[Mediator] And they were clear
[Mediator] and I was liek "neat"
[Tangerz] :\
[Mediator] So out of curiousity I licked one
[Mediator] And now my tongue is melting off
Comment: Aftermath of a previous quote. #runeweb on irc.anoxs.net
#8479 (77/219) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Kaff> its saturday night. what are you doing here
<Kaff> i thought you'd have too much of a social life.
<spoob> Parts of me love interacting with other parts of me, but as a whole, I'm about as popular and loved as jamesm
<Kaff> oh. so you're a dead shit.
<spoob> Succinct, cruel, and accurate
#36286 (99/255) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Coldy> "Sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak"Comment: leet quote
#304836 (29/65) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<BlueVortex> Why doesn't bread respawn when you eat it?
<Advocate> Mine does. You're probably doing it wrong.
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