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#8660 (10/236) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<CactusJac> masturbating is like pringles
<ori0n> once you pop, you can't stop!
#14526 (233/419) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<oneo|SUMMER> the US has some of the best schools in the nation
#6853 (84/208) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* t watches win2k grind to a halt
<greg> Give it some credit.  It slows down quickly.
#299844 (397/519) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Jafet> How the hell does youtube order its comments anyway?
<FauxFaux> Most annoying first.
#56737 (255/399) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
dansSUCHaniceguy: Dude, you ever do something and you just know it's wrong?
dansSUCHaniceguy: The whole time you're telling yourself, This is WRONG
dansSUCHaniceguy: Just going through with it, doubt and guilt eating away at you but you do it anyway
gravybythepint: dammit did you fuck kyle's girlfriend
dansSUCHaniceguy: Get your mind out of the gutter
dansSUCHaniceguy: I drank the last of the orange juice
#26210 (125/269) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* Spike states that his wifey is having contractions about 15 min apart. so I need some fathers day presents.
<Pseudonym> You should be at the hospital instead of on IRC ��
<Spike> well, we are waiting to go to the hospital till we get contractions 5 min apart
<Pseudonym> Ah
<Pseudonym> Sounds painful
<Pseudonym> <spike> QUICK LET ME TELL IRC ABOUT IT%@%#$^@#$#
* schmiddy` thinks of Spike and adds a new entry to "You might be an IRC addict if.
#20972 (74/236) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Heythere> i've always wanted you
<Heythere> every night, i dream of us in a prison cell
<CommanderStab> That's understandable
<CommanderStab> I've always wanted me too
#305620 (351/451) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Gale_> my sister's neighbor is a dumbass
<Gale_> "Look at me, I'm going to have an unsecured wireless network and not change the default login settings for the router!"
<Gale_> My question is should I protect their network and change the login settings on the router just to teach them a lesson, or should I leave it be and let my sister borrow their connection whenever she feels like?
<Gale_> I did that to my neighbor a couple of years ago.
<Gale_> put a password on it and changed the router login info.
<Gale_> The router was in the dumpster a few days later and a new unsecured network showed up at the same time.
#42421 (96/270) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<PunchBag> haha, earlier i saw this girl wearing this T-shirt that had the words "I wish these were brains" written on her boobs
#6867 (12/251) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Brooke: If I don't get a manicure, I'm going to stick my hands in the garbage disposal.
Lynxie: YOU CANNOT WRITE WITH NO HANDS!  I DON'T WANT TO WAIT 'TIL YOU LEARN TO TYPE WITH YOUR NOSE!!!!
#2113 (27/249) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Tristan> Anyone thinks I should trade my '00 VW Cabrio for '01 Honda Prelude?
<tigeraid> at least the Prelude has about 90% less homosexual factor
<Rydawg> tristan, do you like guys?
<Rydawg> how do you shift gears when your wrist is so freakin limp?
#29639 (299/431) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(@[UGP]SirSteam) ITS ALL FUCKING FUNNY TIL YOU ARE MARRIED
(@[UGP]SirSteam) THEN THE LAUGHTER FUCKING ENDS GENTLEMEN
(@[UGP]SirSteam) BE WARNED
(@[UGP]SirSteam) oh hi honey i was just talkin to the gu
�� quit: ([UGP]SirSteam) (~ssmith@SirScoots.user.gamesnet) (Read error: EOF from client)
#27763 (222/410) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
HermitKing: So Star Trek fans are Trekkies, and X-files fans are X-philes...
HermitKing: ...what do you call Buffy fans?
Cat1013: Virgins
#5903 (23/230) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Gir> Final Fantasy: The Bible Adventure Coming to DVD
<Toen> what the hell is that?
<Gir> hehe
<Toen> "Cecil, deliver baby Moses! Please do not throw him into the water!"
#57805 (358/532) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
*** Soopie has joined #perl
<Soopie> I HATE PERL
<Soopie> ITS A PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A REAL LANGUAGE
<Soopie> WITH ITS OBFUSCATED PUNCTUATION AND CRAP
<fr_gment> length q bless glob and print chr oct ord q mkdir m and print chr ord q xor x and print chr ord q q q and print chr ord uc q map m and print chr ord q qw q and print chr ord q each le and print chr ord q my alarm and print chr oct oct ord uc qw q for q
<fr_gment> Soopie: Run that.  No punctuation at all.  Nice and elegant.
<Soopie> ...
<Soopie> IT PRINTS FUCKING "GO AWAY"!?
Comment: Run it and see!
#40783 (321/427) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Nudger> The Internet is great, but the best thing it's ever done is when a bored schoolfriend of mine set the school's website's background to Goatse.
* Antifreez sighs
<Antifreez> So many memories attached to that song.
<Nudger> It was so great when the IT teacher opened the page on a huge projection screen, and without looking at it, said "We, shall be attemping THIS, boys!"
<Nudger> I swear, I was almost sick from laughing.
Comment: From Metafilter's IRC Channel.
#53280 (201/377) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[Allies]stratus: how's everyone?
[Allies]iMmortal: im fine. feeling better than i did before. i just got off work
[Allies]stratus: things have been slow today
[Allies]Spinny: day after the holidays, everybody's busy at the retail stores returning everything
[Allies]iMmortal: yeah
[Allies]stratus: where do you guys work?
[Allies]iMmortal: UPS
[Allies]Spinny: fedex
[Allies]iMmortal: ...
[Allies]Spinny: ...
*iMmortal was betrayed by Spinny
[Allies]iMmortal: wtf!
Comment: multiplayer games....so fun
#29008 (269/411) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<^bret^> good lord you're dumb. I wish Charles Darwin was alive, so I could present him with you, and laugh in his face.
#8618 (248/404) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Inflex> Oh my lord
<Inflex> This is so wierd.
<Inflex> In fact, it's wack.
<Noonan> what is
<Inflex> Non engineering classes.
<Inflex> They're like 40% chicks.
<Noonan> heheh
<Noonan> sometimes more
<Inflex> It's so fucked up.
<Inflex> When I walked in, I thought I was in a bar.
<Noonan> hahah
<Noonan> Welcome to the real world
<Inflex> This new world scares me.
#311601 (72/82) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Muad-Dib> I use IRC by carrier pigeon
<yipdw> I use it by boat
<yipdw> connection reset by pier
#37785 (201/333) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Lucifer7> I think I just caught my Linux servers in the act,
<@Lucifer7> I walk in and both of them are at high network and hard drive activity.
<@Lucifer7> Then they both suddenly stop and the lights go back to normal.
Comment: #Fritolaid irc.homelan.com
#28822 (126/304) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Xerox> Heh. Sailor Moon's greatest enemy would be an old man with a camera. "Quick Sailor Scouts, transform and defeat him!" "But... He's got a camera..."
#50223 (241/443) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<jvarner> at one time I had a login sequence that required two passwords.
<nougatmachine> ^the geek version of "I once caught a fish and it was THIS BIG"
#299429 (95/187) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< ChOwToo> elle, did you really understand the augmented Turing machine argument the other day in that other channel? Or were you just pretending?
<@elle> what?
* ChOwToo feels relieved
Comment: #VerbalAbuse @ Undernet
#1570 (66/295) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<tress> i have no arms
<tress> i have to type by blowing through a straw
<tress> i dropped my straw
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