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#310963* (?/22) ⚐Flag
<lug00ber> grmblmervavzzzipjresvijæav
<madame_> lug00ber: morning sunshine
<lug00ber> yeah, thanks
<lug00ber> woke up this morning to a beer in my fridge that wasn't there last night
<lug00ber> had a sticker attached to it reading "not breakfast"
<lug00ber> day's been going downhill from there
#310600* (?/10) ⚐Flag
* lurkd (Mibbit@synIRC-F4BCBB62.) has joined #site17
* ChanServ sets mode: +h lurkd
<Riemann> Hello lurkd, are you here to appeal your ban?
<lurkd> I am.
<lurkd> I think you all are caca heads.
<lurkd> There I said it.
<Riemann> o:
<Riemann> I think that this is an excellent appeal
<Riemann> 10/10
<Riemann> You are unbanned
<Riemann> And now you are staff
<lurkd> \o/
#308755* (?/33) ⚐Flag
<Pryoidain> So I had another scammer call today.
<asaph> Haven't they like..learned to avoid your number?
<Pryoidain> They have, but this was at my branch, and it was originally regarding one of my employees.
<asaph> ...originally?
<Pryoidain> Dude calls with a New york phone number. Weird, since, well, we have branches in new york. Asks for my CSR, who legitimately is not in. I tell him this, he tells me he's calling from the California State Attorney general office, and its urgent she call him back.
<Pryoidain> Anyways, I duckduckgo the number he gives me, its a motherfucking scam artist calling MY branch to harrass one of MY employees. And its a tuesday, so its slow. But just to be sure, I devised a test to make sure.
<Pryoidain> He calls back, and I talk to him for a bit, then ask him who the state attorney general for CA is. he gets it wrong. I point this out, and he actually asks "WELL..What office did you call, Because we're in Los Angeles, not Sacramento." I was like "...DUDE. STATE attorney general. It doesn't change based on city. And you're calling me from new york. Try again on a california area code.
<Pryoidain> Motherfucker hangs up and calls back from a california area code. So I keep pelting him with questions and goading him on. Finally I decide I'm going to sell him one of our loan products, which pissed him the fuck off. Then an actual customer comes in, so I tell him politely I will call him back, and hang up.
<Pryoidain> Now, I dunno what software this guy is using, but it is AWESOME. He called me 100 times in 5 minutes from 100 different phone numbers, I know, because I was bored enough to go through and compare them all.
<Pryoidain> So after the customer had left, I call back (Yes I called him) and just said "...You Rang?" and it sounded like the headset was thrown and it clicked off.
<asaph> So it was done right?
<Pryoidain> I -THOUGHT- so. But I was wrong. He did some research on my company and got the area code of where our corporate headquarters is based, and starts calling from there, except all calls to us from corporate pop up on an internal call line. So then I devised my plan.
<cjk> Oh this will be good.
<Pryoidain> Thick accented man, so I check my scammer phone record (I log all the numbers in the event I ever got a chance to work with a telephone switch board) and I plug them all in to speed dial. He calls back, I hit another line, hit the speed dial, mute my headset, and punch confrence. it sounds like a seemless line transfer to him.
<Pryoidain> He is now connected to another scammer. What proceeded was the funniest fucking 20 phone calls of my life.
<Pryoidain> Anyways, he stops calling after that.
<asaph> oh phew.
<Pryoidain> nonono, I'm not done yet.
<cjk> .....
<Pryoidain> I wait until we're closing and call him. He doesn't answer. I just wanted to wish him a good night. So I close, and go next door to sprint, and pick up one of the demo phones, and call him. He answers.
<Pryoidain> "Alvin! (yes, he picked that as his name, dunno why) You missed my call from work. I just wanted to wish you a good night! I'll call you tomorrow."
<Pryoidain> he made a noise somewhere between a scream and a cry, and just dejectedly said "Why...why are you doing this?"
<Pryoidain> "Because I want to be your friend alvin. The internet says terrible things about you, but I think they're wrong. I'll call you tomorrow!"
<Pryoidain> "..please don't..you..you are a terrible man."
<Pryoidain> "Night Alvin!"
Comment: 1-951-708-0369 Is the number, if anyone was interested.
#310642* (?/21) ⚐Flag
<muskets> to be tonic water all you NEED is water, bubbles and quinine
<muskets> and then usually you put lots of gin in it
<muskets> it's a british thing because it was medicine but we mixed it with booze to make it taste less awful
<muskets> and then we decided we LIKED it
<muskets> and now we drink it entirely because we want to
<kerin> this is also the story behind gin but in reverse
<kerin> alcohol was supposed to cure a lot of what ails ye
<kerin> but distilled grain alcohol kind of sucks to drink, so hey let's add some mother fucking juniper
<kerin> alright this is rad, i can't wait to get diagnosed with something so i can drink it all fucking day
<kerin> etc
<kerin> so really the gin and tonic brings the story full circle in a beautiful way
<muskets> yeah
<muskets> the main difference is that the original tonic water WORKED
<muskets> it was malaria prophylaxis
<kerin> well, gin worked if your problem was the horror of being trapped in pre-industrial europe
<kerin> it's about the only thing that did
<catplanet> ROFL
#311662* (?/40) ⚐Flag
Artemis the Bear Queen: Terry Pratchett's Death is so great.
Artemis the Bear Queen: Wait
Artemis the Bear Queen: Let me
Artemis the Bear Queen: Rephrase that.
Artemis the Bear Queen: I really love how Pratchett anthropomorphized death. Makes a great character.
#311670* (?/20) ⚐Flag
Captain: A Wizard on an Adventure is basically... you're a Wizard, and here you are... having an Adventure whether you like it or not.
Captain: whereas an Adventuring Wizard is... you're a Wizard going on adventures because you want to.
Anti: And consider that people who want to go adventuring are less than stable normal people at the best of times before you throw phenomenal cosmic power at them. As Terry Pratchett observed, turning someone into a frog isn't the hard part. The hard part is not turning someone into a frog once you know how.
Captain: and then also turning all the witnesses into frogs.
Anti: Trespassers will be toad.
#309303* (?/37) ⚐Flag
<Mordja> I'd kill for your job
<Mordja> You
<Mordja> Specifically
<Hi> you'd have to absorb my powers
<Hi> highlander style
<Mordja> I can work it
<Mordja> Though I should probably watch Highlander first
<BitchtitsMcGee> you'll have to buy a good, sharp sword
<BitchtitsMcGee> so there's some investment required
<Mordja> To Kickstarter
<Pingcode> 'Help me kill Hi, need money for plane ticket and katana'
<Hi> hmmm, what do I get for $100
<@drunkill> a shirt
<Hi> that's not bad
<@drunkill> it's just a plain shirt from target
<thatbastardken> could probably get a decent machete for less than $100
<Mordja> I'll just pick something up from IKEA
<Unoriginal_Nick> machetes are like $5
<Mordja> There you go. I'll still need to kickstart the flight tho\
<Hi> are you all still talking about murdering me
<%Geomancing> Yes but they're downgrading the quality of materials you'll be recieving
<%Geomancing> Soon it'll be a trip by chicken truck and beheading you with a slightly sharp fence post.
<thatbastardken> a short walk and a politely worded letter
<Mordja> Gotta budget these things
<Pingcode> Quickening on a budget
<thatbastardken> small risk of a paper cut
<thatbastardken> there can be quite a few, if they want to.
<thatbastardken> no pressure though
<Hi> look if this thing is going to happen anyway I can bankroll some of the project, I want this to be a classy job
#311599* (?/25) ⚐Flag
<G-Flex> I just got another scam phone call
<G-Flex> for diabetic testing supplies
<G-Flex> you can really fucking tell these people anything
<G-Flex> I told them I have "tons of diabetes" and that I am Jaundice McLeod at P.O. Box 1901098, Little Compton, Alaska
<G-Flex> I asked them if they'd be delivering the equipment, because I've been having trouble receiving deliveries lately because there was an accident at a nearby laboratory and time around me has been very nonlinea
<G-Flex> nonlinear*
<G-Flex> "last week I got a lamp delivered from Amazon five times in a row, and that was before I even ordered it"
<BW2> heh
<G-Flex> he transferred me to another person and I told them the birth date they have on file for me is probably incorrect, as it has changed recently
<Moodcarver> ah the good old days in little compton
<Moodcarver> the fried pea salesmen hawking their gristle door to door
<G-Flex> she asked me what time it was where I am and I said "well in Alaska it's like noon, where I am it works a bit differently right now, I can actually see two suns in the sky and I can't really think about it or my nose will start bleeding again"
<G-Flex> I told her she could call me back in three hours, she said yes
#311611* (?/24) ⚐Flag
MartokTheAvenger: Had a line break and start spewing gas. Always fun.
MartokTheAvenger: Luckily I had the right male shear top to fix it.
SPIKEMARE: ...is that a tool
SPIKEMARE: or are you wearing a see through shirt right now
MartokTheAvenger: It's the top part of an emergency valve. It has a shear groove so it breaks at that point.
SPIKEMARE: admitted, I had fun imagining you going "oh a gas leak, better get my see through shirt"
#311627* (?/35) ⚐Flag
< Kitlero> Also, I came to say there clearly cannot be lizard humanoid in politics
< Kitlero> The evidence is how against 'global warming' they tend to be
< Kitlero> I think lizard people would want a warmer earth
#310757* (?/6) ⚐Flag
xarabas: you know
xarabas: sometimes i get a strong feeling that life is pointless and nothing matters
xarabas: but I was shaving few minutes ago and left some moustaches so I started impersonating Hitler and cracking myself up
xarabas: so yeah, things are not always bad
#310760* (?/6) ⚐Flag
--> nano1 (~nano@zura.nje.katsura) has joined #r9k
<nano1> w-what is this place
<benderr> >title
<nano1> are you all robots
<benderr> i don't understand
<nano1> is this board in anyway related to the r9k board on 4chan?
<nano1> *channel
<benderr> this is the Rune of the 9 Kingdoms channel.. the board game.
<nano1> kek
<nano1> alright
<nano1> gbye
<-- nano1 (~nano@zura.nje.katsura) has left #r9k (WeeChat 1.0.1)
<kaleun> lmfao
<benderr> :|
-*- benderr goes to google "rune of the 9 kingdoms"
<benderr> nope, doesn't even exist
<benderr> wtf
<kaleun> lol
#311208* (?/39) ⚐Flag
<t12> my dad wins at potrero hill community meeting aggroness
<t12> he went to one and stood up, interrupted
<t12> said heres the address of a crackhouse
<t12> if you guys dont raid it and shut it down
<t12> i'll go to it myself
<t12> they're like "those are armed dangerous people!"
<t12> he's like "i'm a combat vereran! I've killed thousands of people already"
<t12> "if you dont go clean it up you'll find youself in the weird position of protecting crackheads from me"
<t12> they did in fact shut the house down
#311135* (?/18) ⚐Flag
<eevee> gamedevelopment.txt  [twitter link, reading: "i have fixed a single bug: finding a secret will no longer cause 4918 cyberdemons to spawn"]
<Strife89> eevee: I'm snickering as I picture an attempt to count them
<Strife89> *BOOM* one thousand thirty-four *BOOT* one thousand thirty-five ...
<Strife89> s/BOOT/BOOM/
<Strife89> Though BOOT would be conceivably valid if that was a Duke Nukem 3D map
#310617* (?/5) ⚐Flag
<Ragnarok> why you doin that?
<Ragnarok> This isn't pokemon
<Jefford> I'm asian
<Jefford> life is pokemon
<Jefford> a white man like you won't understand
#311672* (?/17) ⚐Flag
<Pyxel> how many fucking tiers of idiot are there
<Melody> A lot
<MyNameIsKir> Idk but keep an eye on me; if there is a bottom I'll find it
#310722* (?/5) ⚐Flag
* Thorres (Thorres@o-56-416-7-52.hsd9.pa.comcast.net) has joined
* Thorres is a diety
<Thorres> deity*
<Thorres> fak
<kerin> don't worry, thorres
<kerin> to err is human
* Thorres :(
#311111* (?/17) ⚐Flag
<hjohnson> so off the coast here, we have an area called WG (Whiskey-Golf) which is a torpedo testing range. It's only active every so often, and when it's not you're allowed to go through it.
<hjohnson> trouble is that themost efficient way between Nanaimo and Vancouver goes right through that restricted area, and is one of the common sail boat racing courses.
<hjohnson> years ago, they come up on the radio and go "All stations, area whiskey golf is now active, clear the area." someone popps up and goes "Wincheslea control, this is the lead boat of the racing fleet. Tough shit."
Comment: freenode/#space
#310878* (?/17) ⚐Flag
* fuyunoyoru sobs
<@jrvc> hey fuyunoyoru
<@jrvc> what's up?
< fuyunoyoru> a porn star just started following me on twitter
<@jrvc> And that's a... bad thing?
< fuyunoyoru> nsfw https://i.imgur.com/Z1aMhl5.jpg
< fuyunoyoru> IM A CHEMIST!
< fuyunoyoru> she found me by the hashtag #latex
< fuyunoyoru> i made tweet about LaTeX the typesetting language
#311165* (?/17) ⚐Flag
< rk> is it better to learn to code using c?
< Love4Boobies> When comparing something to something else ("better"), it makes sense to mention what it is you're comparing.
< Saparok> rk: it's better than diving head-first into the grand canyon without a parachute.
< Saparok> but surprisingly analogous.
Comment: freenode ##c
#311640* (?/54) ⚐Flag
<whitequark> i used to work with a guy
<whitequark> who was working on ruby on rails website
<whitequark> in dominican republic
<whitequark> and he was doing it exclusively on a mixture of cocaine and amphetamine
<whitequark> and i had to refactor his code
<whitequark> i literally asked my coworkers to give me an ice pick and an one way ticket to dominican republic as a new year gift
<whitequark> unfortunately they refused
#311633* (?/30) ⚐Flag
<ChiizuKage> The Castlevania Netflix series is pretty rad.
<ChiizuKage> Great fight scenes.
<Slash_Lateral> Apparently the Wall Chicken shows up as an easter egg in one of them, if you look carefully and turn up the brightness.
<ChiizuKage> Slash: aw man, now I gotta look for that.
<ChiizuKage> I'm actually on that episode right now.
<ChiizuKage> Fight scene was fantastic, along with Bloody Tears playing.
<Slash_Lateral> Haha :D
<ChiizuKage> This show is great in that it doesn't beat you over the head with references and fan service, so when it does occur, it's actually memorable.
<Slash_Lateral> I'll have to watch it next time I get on Netflix
<ChiizuKage> The plot is a mix of Dracula's Curse and Symphony of the Night.
<dysk> I've been hearing nothing but good things about the Castlevania series. I hear the producer wants to do something similar with another popular and long-running video game franchise (rumored to be Zelda).
<YelseyKing> Zelda already had a cartoon. But then, it sucked, so... Excuuuuuuuse me, princess. :P
<Yuri> I heard the Super Mario Bros. movie is awesome.
#311628* (?/36) ⚐Flag
<dysk> ...some common typoes change the entire meaning of a sentence.
<dysk> "Venom was really good. Would defiantly see it a second time"
<dysk> Right, because the producers of the movie only want you to see it once. Stick it to the man!
#311154* (?/16) ⚐Flag
<urs> Any polish native speakers here? Google translate tells me that "śmierć, kutas, zniszczenie" means "death, dick, destruction".
<urs> But I'm not sure if that is supposed to be a praise or a curse.
#307801* (?/42) ⚐Flag
<Drazhar> someone help me
<Drazhar> because I think I went insane
<Drazhar> I found something that I agree with Glenn Beck on
<Malware> Drazhar
<Malware> You are undoubtedly, irrevocably mad.
<Drazhar> The radio talk-show host says George Lucas should be "tried for movie crimes" not only for what he has done to a beloved franchise, but also for producing "Red Tails."
<Drazhar> George HAS fucked up Star Wars big time
<Malware> Now we are both undoubtedly, irrevocably mad.
<Malware> Because now I agree with Glenn Beck.
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