|#311401* (?/23) ⚐Flag |
Optical Disc: My little brother recently got grounded from video games
Optical Disc: He had no clue what else to do so I suggested he play outside
Optical Disc: So he went and just stood there for a while
Optical Disc: And now he's hitting a rock with a stick
Optical Disc: I asked if he's having fun and he said "I don't know"
|#310963* (?/21) ⚐Flag |
<madame_> lug00ber: morning sunshine
<lug00ber> yeah, thanks
<lug00ber> woke up this morning to a beer in my fridge that wasn't there last night
<lug00ber> had a sticker attached to it reading "not breakfast"
<lug00ber> day's been going downhill from there
|#309051* (?/138) ⚐Flag |
DaMan: ALX: We fixed the y2k crap months ago.
!!SYSTEM: TRIGON changed topic to "Happy New Year 19100!!"
!!SYSTEM: TRIGON changed topic to "Happy New Year 19101!!"
Fred: that is curious. how does it come up with the year 19101?
DaMan: It just prepends "19" to the number of years since 1900. Forgot to fix it last year, heh.
!!SYSTEM: TRIGON changed topic to "Happy New Year 19102!!"
Fred: Im pretty sure we are now the only platform in the nebula with a remaining y2k bug :-P
(O)DaMan: Should be fixed now.
!!SYSTEM> TRIGON changed topic to "Happy New Year 19103!!"
!!SYSTEM> DaMan changed topic to "Happy New Year 2003!!"
!!SYSTEM> TRIGON changed topic to "Happy New Year 19104!!"
DaMan> The hell?
KoderKane> Are you sure you recompiled the binary or whatever after fixing it?
DaMan> I think so.
*** TRIGON changed topic to "Happy New Year 19105!!"
Zer0: Holy Carp, we skipped the whole second millennium and went right to the 19000's XD
DaMan: Im planning a "Back to the Future" remake.
nobody: In the yearrr Nineteen One-oh-five- if DaMan is, still alive... Will he fix, that damn bot?
*** TRIGON changed topic to "Happy New Year 19106!!"
Nimda> Well at least he has an excuse this year..
lollz> he does?
Nimda> Yeh, he got hit by a bus.
*** TRIGON changed topic to "Happy New Year 19107!!"
DaMan> My new years resolution for this year: fix y2k bug in trigon
CoJaBo> And just like last year, you'll completely blow it off.
! TRIGON changed topic to "Happy New Year 19108!!"
CoJaBo> derp: qdb.us/75182
DaMan> Yeh, ill fix it someday.
! TRIGON changed TOPIC to: Happy New Year 19109!!
< @DaMan> ^someone remember to remind me round when next December rolls around, to fix that.
! TRIGON has changed TOPIC to: Happy New Year 19110!!
< CoJaBo> At this rate, it'll still be saying that well into the next millennial roll-over XD
<@DaMan> You fix it then.
! TRIGON has changed TOPIC to: Happy New Year 19111!!
< Frylock> DaMan: I totally meant to remember to tell you this last month, but- Fix the damn bot!
< DaMan> Righty-o.
! TRIGON has changed TOPIC to: Happy New Year 19112!!
< CoJaBo> ...
< DaMan> ah, crap.
< DaMan> I did fix it; honestly, it just got to be a nuisance, everyone asking "did ya fix the bot?" "is it still bugged?" "will the bot be there this year?" etcetera, ad nauseum.
! TRIGON has changed TOPIC to: Happy New Year 20113!!
< DaMan> dear god.
|#309063* (?/35) ⚐Flag |
< munin> my brother in law sent my wife and i an e-mail telling us there was an iron golem on the roof and not to provoke it
< munin> i thought he was doing lsd for a few minutes until i remembered he was talking about our minecraft house
|#311315* (?/10) ⚐Flag |
<haq> so you get thermal cycling outside the projected envelopes, plus RoHS lead free solder means all your ball soldered components eventually crack away from the boards
<haq> i would strangle the last whale to death with a dorito bag if i could get real solder back in electronics
|#311366* (?/33) ⚐Flag |
* vens is now known as venz
<aciou> this is the internet equivalent of turning your cap backwards
|#308755* (?/32) ⚐Flag |
<Pryoidain> So I had another scammer call today.
<asaph> Haven't they like..learned to avoid your number?
<Pryoidain> They have, but this was at my branch, and it was originally regarding one of my employees.
<Pryoidain> Dude calls with a New york phone number. Weird, since, well, we have branches in new york. Asks for my CSR, who legitimately is not in. I tell him this, he tells me he's calling from the California State Attorney general office, and its urgent she call him back.
<Pryoidain> Anyways, I duckduckgo the number he gives me, its a motherfucking scam artist calling MY branch to harrass one of MY employees. And its a tuesday, so its slow. But just to be sure, I devised a test to make sure.
<Pryoidain> He calls back, and I talk to him for a bit, then ask him who the state attorney general for CA is. he gets it wrong. I point this out, and he actually asks "WELL..What office did you call, Because we're in Los Angeles, not Sacramento." I was like "...DUDE. STATE attorney general. It doesn't change based on city. And you're calling me from new york. Try again on a california area code.
<Pryoidain> Motherfucker hangs up and calls back from a california area code. So I keep pelting him with questions and goading him on. Finally I decide I'm going to sell him one of our loan products, which pissed him the fuck off. Then an actual customer comes in, so I tell him politely I will call him back, and hang up.
<Pryoidain> Now, I dunno what software this guy is using, but it is AWESOME. He called me 100 times in 5 minutes from 100 different phone numbers, I know, because I was bored enough to go through and compare them all.
<Pryoidain> So after the customer had left, I call back (Yes I called him) and just said "...You Rang?" and it sounded like the headset was thrown and it clicked off.
<asaph> So it was done right?
<Pryoidain> I -THOUGHT- so. But I was wrong. He did some research on my company and got the area code of where our corporate headquarters is based, and starts calling from there, except all calls to us from corporate pop up on an internal call line. So then I devised my plan.
<cjk> Oh this will be good.
<Pryoidain> Thick accented man, so I check my scammer phone record (I log all the numbers in the event I ever got a chance to work with a telephone switch board) and I plug them all in to speed dial. He calls back, I hit another line, hit the speed dial, mute my headset, and punch confrence. it sounds like a seemless line transfer to him.
<Pryoidain> He is now connected to another scammer. What proceeded was the funniest fucking 20 phone calls of my life.
<Pryoidain> Anyways, he stops calling after that.
<asaph> oh phew.
<Pryoidain> nonono, I'm not done yet.
<Pryoidain> I wait until we're closing and call him. He doesn't answer. I just wanted to wish him a good night. So I close, and go next door to sprint, and pick up one of the demo phones, and call him. He answers.
<Pryoidain> "Alvin! (yes, he picked that as his name, dunno why) You missed my call from work. I just wanted to wish you a good night! I'll call you tomorrow."
<Pryoidain> he made a noise somewhere between a scream and a cry, and just dejectedly said "Why...why are you doing this?"
<Pryoidain> "Because I want to be your friend alvin. The internet says terrible things about you, but I think they're wrong. I'll call you tomorrow!"
<Pryoidain> "..please don't..you..you are a terrible man."
<Pryoidain> "Night Alvin!"Comment: 1-951-708-0369 Is the number, if anyone was interested.
|#310815* (?/9) ⚐Flag |
<Se7eN> in my early days of irc like 15 years ago
<Se7eN> there was this guy called Wiccy, Jigsy^ZzZzZ and others remember him
<Se7eN> and he would always "fluff" people he liked when the joined the main chan
<Se7eN> and i thought of it as like, fluffing someone's pillow to make their spot comfy upon arrival or something
<Se7eN> so for years i /me fluffed people
<Se7eN> and later found out it was a porn thing people do to "prep" male actors.
|#311534* (?/9) ⚐Flag |
<GargajCNS> so i was looking at my VR headset and realized
<GargajCNS> my parents always told me not to sit close to the TV, and now in 2017 i'm literally jamming TVs into my eyes
|#311335* (?/29) ⚐Flag |
< danl> being lazy and running everything as root is so much easier
< danl> lol
< danl> damn it
< danl> I screwed up my script and lost a years worth of access logsComment: 24 minutes to complete irony
|#311208* (?/27) ⚐Flag |
<t12> my dad wins at potrero hill community meeting aggroness
<t12> he went to one and stood up, interrupted
<t12> said heres the address of a crackhouse
<t12> if you guys dont raid it and shut it down
<t12> i'll go to it myself
<t12> they're like "those are armed dangerous people!"
<t12> he's like "i'm a combat vereran! I've killed thousands of people already"
<t12> "if you dont go clean it up you'll find youself in the weird position of protecting crackheads from me"
<t12> they did in fact shut the house down
|#310600* (?/8) ⚐Flag |
* lurkd (Mibbit@synIRC-F4BCBB62.) has joined #site17
* ChanServ sets mode: +h lurkd
<Riemann> Hello lurkd, are you here to appeal your ban?
<lurkd> I am.
<lurkd> I think you all are caca heads.
<lurkd> There I said it.
<Riemann> I think that this is an excellent appeal
<Riemann> You are unbanned
<Riemann> And now you are staff
|#311533* (?/8) ⚐Flag |
<ben_vulpes> code is not fucking art
<ben_vulpes> code is a bespoke railway engine hauling your carcass across the desolate sea of capitalism
<ben_vulpes> imagine if every single container ship had an entirely custom engine humming along inside, and the three people who knew where it needed grease applied daily basically just live in it
<ben_vulpes> that's software
|#310745* (?/7) ⚐Flag |
<powersurge> someone at work is having a breakdown
<powersurge> he's about 70% sure someone took his mousepad
<powersurge> but 30% unsure if he even had one to begin with
|#309303* (?/36) ⚐Flag |
<Mordja> I'd kill for your job
<Hi> you'd have to absorb my powers
<Hi> highlander style
<Mordja> I can work it
<Mordja> Though I should probably watch Highlander first
<BitchtitsMcGee> you'll have to buy a good, sharp sword
<BitchtitsMcGee> so there's some investment required
<Mordja> To Kickstarter
<Pingcode> 'Help me kill Hi, need money for plane ticket and katana'
<Hi> hmmm, what do I get for $100
<@drunkill> a shirt
<Hi> that's not bad
<@drunkill> it's just a plain shirt from target
<thatbastardken> could probably get a decent machete for less than $100
<Mordja> I'll just pick something up from IKEA
<Unoriginal_Nick> machetes are like $5
<Mordja> There you go. I'll still need to kickstart the flight tho\
<Hi> are you all still talking about murdering me
<%Geomancing> Yes but they're downgrading the quality of materials you'll be recieving
<%Geomancing> Soon it'll be a trip by chicken truck and beheading you with a slightly sharp fence post.
<thatbastardken> a short walk and a politely worded letter
<Mordja> Gotta budget these things
<Pingcode> Quickening on a budget
<thatbastardken> small risk of a paper cut
<thatbastardken> there can be quite a few, if they want to.
<thatbastardken> no pressure though
<Hi> look if this thing is going to happen anyway I can bankroll some of the project, I want this to be a classy job
|#311241* (?/22) ⚐Flag |
<technoid> All of the shirts say "slimmer fit". Are there any "unix admin" sized ones?
|#311252* (?/32) ⚐Flag |
<xyz> sadly I'm from russia so
<BogomilP> xyz: How open minded are you?
<xyz> are you going to link me some weird tentacle porn if I say yes?
<BogomilP> Just getting a better picture of the world
<BogomilP> I dont like stereotypes so Im looking for good modern people to reference when trying to prove to someone what the world is changing even if most people in some specific countries refuse to
<Shiz> maybe not fall into the stereotypes in the first place
<Shiz> then there's nothing to disprove!
<BogomilP> Shiz: Im not saying that I fall into the stereotyped. Its just a nice way to say to some closed minded idiotic assholes that even if they thing their breed is not a dieing kind there are people in their country that still support modern open thinking
<BogomilP> Its nice....
<BogomilP> And that progress is being made despite their biggest efforts to stop it...
<xyz> was really hoping for some weird tentacle porn to be honest
|#311136* (?/31) ⚐Flag |
KKCryptic: !define tako
ArchiBoT: Japanese for "octopus"
KKCryptic: !define takoyaki
ArchiBoT: Grilled dumpling with a bite of octopus(A Japanese food, famous in Osaka(( the 2nd largest city in jpn))
KKCryptic: takoyaki is amazing
RA2lover: !define dumpling
ArchiBoT: A white boy dumped by a Chinese girl.
|#311219* (?/30) ⚐Flag |
bitchchecker (~email@example.com) Quit (Ping timeout#)
bitchchecker (~firstname.lastname@example.org) has joined #stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> why do you kick me
<bitchchecker> can’t you discus normally
<Elch> we didn’t kick you
<Elch> you had a ping timeout: * bitchchecker (~email@example.com) Quit (Ping timeout#)
<bitchchecker> what ping man
<bitchchecker> the timing of my pc is right
<bitchchecker> i even have dst
<bitchchecker> you banned me
<bitchchecker> amit it you son of a bitch
<HopperHunter|afk> shit you’re stupid, DST^^
<bitchchecker> shut your mouth WE HAVE DST!
<bitchchecker> for two weaks already
<bitchchecker> when you start your pc there is a message from windows that DST is applied.
<Elch> You’re a real computer expert
<bitchchecker> shut up i hack you
<Elch> ok, i’m quiet, hope you don’t show us how good a hacker you are
<bitchchecker> tell me your network number man then you’re dead
<Elch> Eh, it’s 188.8.131.52
<Elch> or maybe 127.0.0.1
<Elch> yes exactly that’s it: 127.0.0.1 I’m waiting for you great attack
<bitchchecker> in five minutes your hard drive is deleted
<Elch> Now I’m frightened
<bitchchecker> shut up you’ll be gone
<bitchchecker> i have a program where i enter your ip and you’re dead
<bitchchecker> say goodbye
<Elch> to whom?
<bitchchecker> to you man
<bitchchecker> buy buy
<Elch> I’m shivering thinking about such great Hack0rs like you
bitchchecker (~firstname.lastname@example.org) Quit (Ping timeout#)
bitchchecker (~email@example.com) has joined #stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> dude be happy my pc crashed otherwise you’d be gone
<Elch> bitchchecker: Then try hacking me again… I still have the same IP: 127.0.0.1
<bitchchecker> you’re so stupid man
<bitchchecker> say buy buy
<Metanot> ah, [Please control your cussing] off
<bitchchecker> buy buy elch
bitchchecker (~firstname.lastname@example.org) Quit (Ping timeout#)
bitchchecker (~email@example.com) has joined #stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> elch you son of a bitch
<Metanot> bitchchecker how old are you?
<Elch> What’s up bitchchecker?
<bitchchecker> you have a frie wal
<bitchchecker> fire wall
<Elch> maybe, i don’t know
<bitchchecker> i’m 26
<Metanot> such behaviour with 26?
<Elch> how did you find out that I have a firewall?
<Metanot> tststs this is not very nice missy
<bitchchecker> because your gay fire wall directed my turn off signal back to me
<bitchchecker> be a man turn that shit off
<Elch> cool, didn’t know this was possible.
<bitchchecker> thn my virus destroys your pc man
<Metanot> are you hacking yourselves?
<Elch> yes bitchchecker is trying to hack me
<Metanot> he bitchchecker if you’re a hacker you have to get around a firewall even i can do that
<bitchchecker> yes man i hack the elch but the sucker has a fire wall the
<Metanot> what firewall do you have?
<bitchchecker> like a girl
<Metanot> firewall is normal a normal hacker has to be able to get past it…you girl
<He> Bitch give yourself a jackson and chill you’re letting them provoce you and give those little girls new material all the time
<bitchchecker> turn the firewall off then i send you a virus [Please control your cussing]er
<Metanot> he bitchchecker why turn it off, you should turn it off
<bitchchecker> you’re afraid
<bitchchecker> i don’t wanna hack like this if he hides like a girl behind a fire wall
<bitchchecker> elch turn off your shit wall!
<Metanot> i wanted to say something about this, do you know the definition of hacking??? if he turns of the firewall that’s an invitation and that has nothing to do with hacking
<bitchchecker> shut up
<bitchchecker> my grandma surfs with fire wall
<bitchchecker> and you suckers think you’re cool and don’t dare going into the internet without a fire wall
<Elch> bitchchecker, a collegue showed me how to turn the firewall off. Now you can try again
<Metanot> bitchhacker can’t hack
<Black<TdV>> nice play on words
<bitchchecker> wort man
<Elch> bitchchecker: I’m still waiting for your attack!
<Metanot> how many times again he is no hacker
<bitchchecker> man do you want a virus
<bitchchecker> tell me your ip and it deletes your hard drive
<Metanot> lol ne give it up i’m a hacker myself and i know how hackers behave and i can tell you 100.00% you’re no hacker..
<Elch> it’s easy
<bitchchecker> lolololol you so stupid man you’ll be gone
<bitchchecker> and are the first files being deleted
<Elch> i’ll take a look
<bitchchecker> don’t need to rescue you can’t son of a bitch
<Elch> that’s bad
<bitchchecker> elch you idiout your hard drive g: is deleted
<Elch> yes, there’s nothing i can do about it
<bitchchecker> and in 20 seconds f: is gone
<bitchchecker> tupac rules
<bitchchecker> elch you son of a bitch your f: is gone and e: too
<bitchchecker> and d: is at 45% you idiot lolololol
<He> why doesn’t meta say anything
<Elch> he’s probably rolling on the floor laughing
<bitchchecker> your d: is gone
<He> go on BITCH
<bitchchecker> elch man you’re so stupid never give your ip on the internet
<bitchchecker> i’m already at c: 30 percent
bitchchecker (~firstname.lastname@example.org) Quit (Ping timeout#)
|#311135* (?/18) ⚐Flag |
<eevee> gamedevelopment.txt [twitter link, reading: "i have fixed a single bug: finding a secret will no longer cause 4918 cyberdemons to spawn"]
<Strife89> eevee: I'm snickering as I picture an attempt to count them
<Strife89> *BOOM* one thousand thirty-four *BOOT* one thousand thirty-five ...
<Strife89> Though BOOT would be conceivably valid if that was a Duke Nukem 3D map
|#311125* (?/28) ⚐Flag |
<@barometz> Ha, I just agreed to "There was a problem loading the content of this EULA."
<@barometz> Wonder whether that's binding.
|#310578* (?/5) ⚐Flag |
<zyradyl> so i always feel really bad when I have to update my zone policy, because I feel like a parent talking to a child
<zyradyl> "set ipv6-name Jimmy-WAN rule 2100 action allow state established enabled related enabled"
<zyradyl> Okay jimmy you're of course allowed to go play with your current friends and family
<zyradyl> "set ipv6-name Jimmy-WAN rule 2200 action drop state invalid enable"
<zyradyl> BUT NO HANDICAP PEOPLE JIMMY, NONE. YOU DROP YOUR HANDICAP FRIENDS RIGHT NOW.
|#310642* (?/5) ⚐Flag |
<muskets> to be tonic water all you NEED is water, bubbles and quinine
<muskets> and then usually you put lots of gin in it
<muskets> it's a british thing because it was medicine but we mixed it with booze to make it taste less awful
<muskets> and then we decided we LIKED it
<muskets> and now we drink it entirely because we want to
<kerin> this is also the story behind gin but in reverse
<kerin> alcohol was supposed to cure a lot of what ails ye
<kerin> but distilled grain alcohol kind of sucks to drink, so hey let's add some mother fucking juniper
<kerin> alright this is rad, i can't wait to get diagnosed with something so i can drink it all fucking day
<kerin> so really the gin and tonic brings the story full circle in a beautiful way
<muskets> the main difference is that the original tonic water WORKED
<muskets> it was malaria prophylaxis
<kerin> well, gin worked if your problem was the horror of being trapped in pre-industrial europe
<kerin> it's about the only thing that did
|#310757* (?/5) ⚐Flag |
xarabas: you know
xarabas: sometimes i get a strong feeling that life is pointless and nothing matters
xarabas: but I was shaving few minutes ago and left some moustaches so I started impersonating Hitler and cracking myself up
xarabas: so yeah, things are not always bad
|#310760* (?/5) ⚐Flag |
--> nano1 (~email@example.com) has joined #r9k
<nano1> w-what is this place
<nano1> are you all robots
<benderr> i don't understand
<nano1> is this board in anyway related to the r9k board on 4chan?
<benderr> this is the Rune of the 9 Kingdoms channel.. the board game.
<-- nano1 (~firstname.lastname@example.org) has left #r9k (WeeChat 1.0.1)
-*- benderr goes to google "rune of the 9 kingdoms"
<benderr> nope, doesn't even exist