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#311648* (?/32) ⚐Flag
<ericwood> there's a special place in my heart for americanized chinese food
<Cipher-0> Those are angina pains, ericwood.
#311620* (?/27) ⚐Flag
<dysk> "Target is bleeping out book descriptions, removing words like 'Nazis' and 'queer'"
<YelseyKing> lol
<YelseyKing> I love overzealous auto-censors.
<dysk> That old joke about **** van **** just continues to stay relevant, doesn't it.
<YelseyKing> Yes.
<YelseyKing> Penis van Lesbian.
<dysk> Except in Target's case, "penis" and "lesbian" would be censored.
<dysk> I mean, one of the censored words was "stripper".
<dysk> Which isn't always about nude performance. Sometimes it's used for a tool (lol tool) that forestry workers use to remove the bark from wood.
<YelseyKing> t**l
<YelseyKing> I totally understand the reason why sites would do that, given that anyone who'd be so easily offended by certain words would be the same ones to throw a huge fit over seeing them.
<YelseyKing> But it doesn't make it any less stupid.
<YelseyKing> My favorite thing is when they censor a word with only a single asterisk. F*ck!
<YelseyKing> Like you can't tell what that says.
<dysk> "Holy sh*t!"
<dysk> And, of course, let's not forget ***an.
<Danika> Satan?
<dysk> (a certain country in East Asia)
<Danika> oh, Japan
<YelseyKing> The best censors are the ones that ignore spaces and punctuation, so you'll get words you didn't even type censored.
<YelseyKing> Like "cut it out" will be censored, because it ignores the space and sees "tit".
<dysk> Or "It's been 20 years since the release of Mariah Carey's hit", and the final four letters would be censored.
<YelseyKing> Yup.
<YelseyKing> Even better is if they're not censored, but replaced.
<YelseyKing> "It's been 20 years since the release of Mariah Carey'fecal matter"
#310963* (?/22) ⚐Flag
<lug00ber> grmblmervavzzzipjresvij├Žav
<madame_> lug00ber: morning sunshine
<lug00ber> yeah, thanks
<lug00ber> woke up this morning to a beer in my fridge that wasn't there last night
<lug00ber> had a sticker attached to it reading "not breakfast"
<lug00ber> day's been going downhill from there
#311623* (?/47) ⚐Flag
< brennyn> i once had to train a guy at work who i could not convince that 1 percent and 1 gallon are not "basically the same thing"
< brennyn> his explanaton was that milk comes in 2%
< brennyn> he wasn't trolling, he was actually stupid
< brennyn> he got fired less than a week later for pouring paint thinner into his eyes
<@snek-sensei> w-what
< brennyn> he was cleaning something that required lying down and crawling under the machine
< brennyn> he got to the part he needed to clean, held a cup of paint thinner above it, and poured directly into his face
< brennyn> because he forgot about gravity
<@snek-sensei> oh okay that makes sense
#311632* (?/40) ⚐Flag
<Danika> hmph, Twitter thought one of my tweets was considered "suicidal" or something
<StriderHLC> The hellsite strikes again
<Danika> yeah I said something like "I wish my parents never had me"
<StriderHLC> "We suspect you may be suicidal. We are locking your account to remove you from your support network as a courtesy."
#311619* (?/37) ⚐Flag
<@Wilber> Activity on gimpissues: Shortcut Ovelapping <https://gitlab.gnome.org/GNOME/gimp/issues/2183>
<gitlab-bot> Wilber: Error: GNOME: Impossible to get infos for GNOME/gimp issue 2183: 404: 404 Not found
<@Wilber> gitlab-bot: Error: "Error:" is not a valid command.
<gitlab-bot> Wilber: Error: "Error:" is not a valid command.
<@Wilber> gitlab-bot: Error: "Error:" is not a valid command.
<gitlab-bot> Wilber: Error: "Error:" is not a valid command.
<@Wilber> gitlab-bot: Error: "Error:" is not a valid command.
<gitlab-bot> Wilber: Error: "Error:" is not a valid command.
<@Wilber> gitlab-bot: Error: "Error:" is not a valid command.
<gitlab-bot> Wilber: Error: "Error:" is not a valid command.
<@Wilber> gitlab-bot: Error: "Error:" is not a valid command.
<gitlab-bot> Wilber: Error: "Error:" is not a valid command.
<@Wilber> gitlab-bot: You've given me 5 invalid commands within the last minute; I'm now ignoring you for 10 minutes.
<gitlab-bot> Wilber: You've given me 5 invalid commands within the last 60 seconds; I'm now ignoring you for 10 minutes.
<ankh> haha
Comment: #gimp
#310600* (?/10) ⚐Flag
* lurkd (Mibbit@synIRC-F4BCBB62.) has joined #site17
* ChanServ sets mode: +h lurkd
<Riemann> Hello lurkd, are you here to appeal your ban?
<lurkd> I am.
<lurkd> I think you all are caca heads.
<lurkd> There I said it.
<Riemann> o:
<Riemann> I think that this is an excellent appeal
<Riemann> 10/10
<Riemann> You are unbanned
<Riemann> And now you are staff
<lurkd> \o/
#308755* (?/33) ⚐Flag
<Pryoidain> So I had another scammer call today.
<asaph> Haven't they like..learned to avoid your number?
<Pryoidain> They have, but this was at my branch, and it was originally regarding one of my employees.
<asaph> ...originally?
<Pryoidain> Dude calls with a New york phone number. Weird, since, well, we have branches in new york. Asks for my CSR, who legitimately is not in. I tell him this, he tells me he's calling from the California State Attorney general office, and its urgent she call him back.
<Pryoidain> Anyways, I duckduckgo the number he gives me, its a motherfucking scam artist calling MY branch to harrass one of MY employees. And its a tuesday, so its slow. But just to be sure, I devised a test to make sure.
<Pryoidain> He calls back, and I talk to him for a bit, then ask him who the state attorney general for CA is. he gets it wrong. I point this out, and he actually asks "WELL..What office did you call, Because we're in Los Angeles, not Sacramento." I was like "...DUDE. STATE attorney general. It doesn't change based on city. And you're calling me from new york. Try again on a california area code.
<Pryoidain> Motherfucker hangs up and calls back from a california area code. So I keep pelting him with questions and goading him on. Finally I decide I'm going to sell him one of our loan products, which pissed him the fuck off. Then an actual customer comes in, so I tell him politely I will call him back, and hang up.
<Pryoidain> Now, I dunno what software this guy is using, but it is AWESOME. He called me 100 times in 5 minutes from 100 different phone numbers, I know, because I was bored enough to go through and compare them all.
<Pryoidain> So after the customer had left, I call back (Yes I called him) and just said "...You Rang?" and it sounded like the headset was thrown and it clicked off.
<asaph> So it was done right?
<Pryoidain> I -THOUGHT- so. But I was wrong. He did some research on my company and got the area code of where our corporate headquarters is based, and starts calling from there, except all calls to us from corporate pop up on an internal call line. So then I devised my plan.
<cjk> Oh this will be good.
<Pryoidain> Thick accented man, so I check my scammer phone record (I log all the numbers in the event I ever got a chance to work with a telephone switch board) and I plug them all in to speed dial. He calls back, I hit another line, hit the speed dial, mute my headset, and punch confrence. it sounds like a seemless line transfer to him.
<Pryoidain> He is now connected to another scammer. What proceeded was the funniest fucking 20 phone calls of my life.
<Pryoidain> Anyways, he stops calling after that.
<asaph> oh phew.
<Pryoidain> nonono, I'm not done yet.
<cjk> .....
<Pryoidain> I wait until we're closing and call him. He doesn't answer. I just wanted to wish him a good night. So I close, and go next door to sprint, and pick up one of the demo phones, and call him. He answers.
<Pryoidain> "Alvin! (yes, he picked that as his name, dunno why) You missed my call from work. I just wanted to wish you a good night! I'll call you tomorrow."
<Pryoidain> he made a noise somewhere between a scream and a cry, and just dejectedly said "Why...why are you doing this?"
<Pryoidain> "Because I want to be your friend alvin. The internet says terrible things about you, but I think they're wrong. I'll call you tomorrow!"
<Pryoidain> "..please don't..you..you are a terrible man."
<Pryoidain> "Night Alvin!"
Comment: 1-951-708-0369 Is the number, if anyone was interested.
#311656* (?/9) ⚐Flag
<Wifemaker> who else would love to be transformed into a cute little housewife?
<TungstenCarbide> what happens to the extra mass?
<leanna{NL}> turns into energy
<leanna{NL}> thats why youre a HOT cute little housewife
#311654* (?/8) ⚐Flag
xxx: can I be considered a coach if I train a neural network?
yyy: if you're using .fit(X,y), you are a fitness trainer
#310642* (?/8) ⚐Flag
<muskets> to be tonic water all you NEED is water, bubbles and quinine
<muskets> and then usually you put lots of gin in it
<muskets> it's a british thing because it was medicine but we mixed it with booze to make it taste less awful
<muskets> and then we decided we LIKED it
<muskets> and now we drink it entirely because we want to
<kerin> this is also the story behind gin but in reverse
<kerin> alcohol was supposed to cure a lot of what ails ye
<kerin> but distilled grain alcohol kind of sucks to drink, so hey let's add some mother fucking juniper
<kerin> alright this is rad, i can't wait to get diagnosed with something so i can drink it all fucking day
<kerin> etc
<kerin> so really the gin and tonic brings the story full circle in a beautiful way
<muskets> yeah
<muskets> the main difference is that the original tonic water WORKED
<muskets> it was malaria prophylaxis
<kerin> well, gin worked if your problem was the horror of being trapped in pre-industrial europe
<kerin> it's about the only thing that did
<catplanet> ROFL
#311639* (?/26) ⚐Flag
<moaz> wastrel> do you happen to be a doctor by any chance
<moaz> i have a really bad cold
<Afrix> apple a day will keep the wastrel away
<moaz> well there's a reason i use android
<wastrel> i'm the phd kind of doctor not the md kind
<wastrel> i have a doctorate in not being particularly good at nything
#311241* (?/24) ⚐Flag
<technoid> All of the shirts say "slimmer fit". Are there any "unix admin" sized ones?
#309303* (?/37) ⚐Flag
<Mordja> I'd kill for your job
<Mordja> You
<Mordja> Specifically
<Hi> you'd have to absorb my powers
<Hi> highlander style
<Mordja> I can work it
<Mordja> Though I should probably watch Highlander first
<BitchtitsMcGee> you'll have to buy a good, sharp sword
<BitchtitsMcGee> so there's some investment required
<Mordja> To Kickstarter
<Pingcode> 'Help me kill Hi, need money for plane ticket and katana'
<Hi> hmmm, what do I get for $100
<@drunkill> a shirt
<Hi> that's not bad
<@drunkill> it's just a plain shirt from target
<thatbastardken> could probably get a decent machete for less than $100
<Mordja> I'll just pick something up from IKEA
<Unoriginal_Nick> machetes are like $5
<Mordja> There you go. I'll still need to kickstart the flight tho\
<Hi> are you all still talking about murdering me
<%Geomancing> Yes but they're downgrading the quality of materials you'll be recieving
<%Geomancing> Soon it'll be a trip by chicken truck and beheading you with a slightly sharp fence post.
<thatbastardken> a short walk and a politely worded letter
<Mordja> Gotta budget these things
<Pingcode> Quickening on a budget
<thatbastardken> small risk of a paper cut
<thatbastardken> there can be quite a few, if they want to.
<thatbastardken> no pressure though
<Hi> look if this thing is going to happen anyway I can bankroll some of the project, I want this to be a classy job
#311599* (?/22) ⚐Flag
<G-Flex> I just got another scam phone call
<G-Flex> for diabetic testing supplies
<G-Flex> you can really fucking tell these people anything
<G-Flex> I told them I have "tons of diabetes" and that I am Jaundice McLeod at P.O. Box 1901098, Little Compton, Alaska
<G-Flex> I asked them if they'd be delivering the equipment, because I've been having trouble receiving deliveries lately because there was an accident at a nearby laboratory and time around me has been very nonlinea
<G-Flex> nonlinear*
<G-Flex> "last week I got a lamp delivered from Amazon five times in a row, and that was before I even ordered it"
<BW2> heh
<G-Flex> he transferred me to another person and I told them the birth date they have on file for me is probably incorrect, as it has changed recently
<Moodcarver> ah the good old days in little compton
<Moodcarver> the fried pea salesmen hawking their gristle door to door
<G-Flex> she asked me what time it was where I am and I said "well in Alaska it's like noon, where I am it works a bit differently right now, I can actually see two suns in the sky and I can't really think about it or my nose will start bleeding again"
<G-Flex> I told her she could call me back in three hours, she said yes
#311252* (?/33) ⚐Flag
<xyz> sadly I'm from russia so
<BogomilP> xyz: How open minded are you?
<xyz> are you going to link me some weird tentacle porn if I say yes?
<BogomilP> No
<BogomilP> Just getting a better picture of the world
<BogomilP> I dont like stereotypes so Im looking for good modern people to reference when trying to prove to someone what the world is changing even if most people in some specific countries refuse to
<Shiz> maybe not fall into the stereotypes in the first place
<Shiz> then there's nothing to disprove!
<BogomilP> Shiz: Im not saying that I fall into the stereotyped. Its just a nice way to say to some closed minded idiotic assholes that even if they thing their breed is not a dieing kind there are people in their country that still support modern open thinking
<BogomilP> Its nice....
<BogomilP> And that progress is being made despite their biggest efforts to stop it...
<xyz> was really hoping for some weird tentacle porn to be honest
#310757* (?/6) ⚐Flag
xarabas: you know
xarabas: sometimes i get a strong feeling that life is pointless and nothing matters
xarabas: but I was shaving few minutes ago and left some moustaches so I started impersonating Hitler and cracking myself up
xarabas: so yeah, things are not always bad
#310760* (?/6) ⚐Flag
--> nano1 (~nano@zura.nje.katsura) has joined #r9k
<nano1> w-what is this place
<benderr> >title
<nano1> are you all robots
<benderr> i don't understand
<nano1> is this board in anyway related to the r9k board on 4chan?
<nano1> *channel
<benderr> this is the Rune of the 9 Kingdoms channel.. the board game.
<nano1> kek
<nano1> alright
<nano1> gbye
<-- nano1 (~nano@zura.nje.katsura) has left #r9k (WeeChat 1.0.1)
<kaleun> lmfao
<benderr> :|
-*- benderr goes to google "rune of the 9 kingdoms"
<benderr> nope, doesn't even exist
<benderr> wtf
<kaleun> lol
#311627* (?/32) ⚐Flag
< Kitlero> Also, I came to say there clearly cannot be lizard humanoid in politics
< Kitlero> The evidence is how against 'global warming' they tend to be
< Kitlero> I think lizard people would want a warmer earth
#311611* (?/20) ⚐Flag
MartokTheAvenger: Had a line break and start spewing gas. Always fun.
MartokTheAvenger: Luckily I had the right male shear top to fix it.
SPIKEMARE: ...is that a tool
SPIKEMARE: or are you wearing a see through shirt right now
MartokTheAvenger: It's the top part of an emergency valve. It has a shear groove so it breaks at that point.
SPIKEMARE: admitted, I had fun imagining you going "oh a gas leak, better get my see through shirt"
#311208* (?/30) ⚐Flag
<t12> my dad wins at potrero hill community meeting aggroness
<t12> he went to one and stood up, interrupted
<t12> said heres the address of a crackhouse
<t12> if you guys dont raid it and shut it down
<t12> i'll go to it myself
<t12> they're like "those are armed dangerous people!"
<t12> he's like "i'm a combat vereran! I've killed thousands of people already"
<t12> "if you dont go clean it up you'll find youself in the weird position of protecting crackheads from me"
<t12> they did in fact shut the house down
#311135* (?/18) ⚐Flag
<eevee> gamedevelopment.txt  [twitter link, reading: "i have fixed a single bug: finding a secret will no longer cause 4918 cyberdemons to spawn"]
<Strife89> eevee: I'm snickering as I picture an attempt to count them
<Strife89> *BOOM* one thousand thirty-four *BOOT* one thousand thirty-five ...
<Strife89> s/BOOT/BOOM/
<Strife89> Though BOOT would be conceivably valid if that was a Duke Nukem 3D map
#310617* (?/5) ⚐Flag
<Ragnarok> why you doin that?
<Ragnarok> This isn't pokemon
<Jefford> I'm asian
<Jefford> life is pokemon
<Jefford> a white man like you won't understand
#310722* (?/5) ⚐Flag
* Thorres (Thorres@o-56-416-7-52.hsd9.pa.comcast.net) has joined
* Thorres is a diety
<Thorres> deity*
<Thorres> fak
<kerin> don't worry, thorres
<kerin> to err is human
* Thorres :(
#311111* (?/17) ⚐Flag
<hjohnson> so off the coast here, we have an area called WG (Whiskey-Golf) which is a torpedo testing range. It's only active every so often, and when it's not you're allowed to go through it.
<hjohnson> trouble is that themost efficient way between Nanaimo and Vancouver goes right through that restricted area, and is one of the common sail boat racing courses.
<hjohnson> years ago, they come up on the radio and go "All stations, area whiskey golf is now active, clear the area." someone popps up and goes "Wincheslea control, this is the lead boat of the racing fleet. Tough shit."
Comment: freenode/#space
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