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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random123456..536Next> |
#299617 (33/43) ↑Good ↓Bad
<kollapse> There's just something creepy about an abandoned mental institution.
<Viperlin> kollapse: i'd say its creepier if your getting wifi there |
#299631 (78/90) ↑Good ↓Bad
<skywalker> hi
<sexiann> hey
<skywalker> how are you?
<sexiann> luke, i need to tell you something
<skywalker> what is it babe?
<sexiann> i know i should probably say this 2 you face-2-face, but im nervous
<sexiann> we've been going out 4 a while now
<sexiann> and things hav been going gr8
<skywalker> yeah
<sexiann> and i think
<sexiann> i think...
<sexiann> i <3 u
<skywalker> i...
<skywalker> i don't understand
<skywalker> you can't have inequalities with imaginary numbers
*** sexiann has quit IRC (leaving) |
#295050 (41/55) ↑Good ↓Bad
<AT_5193> i've got a kitty footwarmer
<@Illwen> Let's not talk about cats please.
<AT_5193> i've got a common-house-pet-that-is-not-a-dog footwarmer |
#239784 (49/55) ↑Good ↓Bad
Jimmy: People like to write on the wall above the urinals ...
Jimmy: So whenever the school has their big monthly tour, they paint over it.
Jimmy: ... the morning after the tour: "FIRST!" |
#237754 (58/70) ↑Good ↓Bad
<Technocactus> So me and Will are walking down the street
<Technocactus> And we see some German chicks chilling
<Technocactus> Will knows a bit of German, so he agrees to give me some lines to say
<Technocactus> Meant to be shit like "You're looking good"
<Technocactus> Fucker got me to say in German "I'd marry any of you except the fat one"
<Technocactus> So now I got this handprint on my face where the fat girl slapped me :\ |
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Syswear: Get $2 Off any shirt! Discount code: QDBREADER
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#299964 (47/57) ↑Good ↓Bad
<Xe0n> $|=3,141592;sub _
<Xe0n> {print@_}sub o{_++$O[0
<Xe0n> ];_ 0for 1..$#O}sub O{$;=int
<Xe0n> $=/10,'0/^ ^';if($;<9)
<Xe0n> {_$_ for @O;;@O=()
<Xe0n> ;0}push @O,$;;0
<Xe0n> ,;push@ O,'.'if
<Xe0n> $^==1; 0;if($;
<Xe0n> ==10){ print ,o,@O=(
<Xe0n> )}}$~= 1000000 ;$-=10*
<Xe0n> (q/@O= digits of pi =10/,1)
<Xe0n> *int($~ /3)+1;$
<Xe0n> _=2for@ ,[0..$-]
<Xe0n> ,;for$^ (1..$~){
<Xe0n> $:=$-;$O =0;until
<Xe0n> ($:<0){$/= 2*$:+1;$/=
<Xe0n> 10if$/==1;$==10*$,[$:]+$O;$,
<Xe0n> [$:]=$=%$/;$O=int($=/$/
<Xe0n> )*$:--,10}O}o
<Xe0n> run it
<Xe0n> see how long it takes for your compy to finish it
<Xe0n> it's perl
<DerpDerp> No, it's gay
<DerpDerp> and it probably makes my CD trap open every 30 seconds
<DerpDerp> probably
<DerpDerp> tray
<phantomcircuit> actually it looks like it calculates pi
<Xe0n> ^
<Xe0n> Because it does
<phantomcircuit> but being perl it could just as well launch some nuclear missiles |
#275427 (68/76) ↑Good ↓Bad
< Corbomite> Which will allow me to spend cuntless hours fucking around in Visual Studio?
< Corbomite> countless*
< Vir4030> no, cuntless is accurate too |
#283880 (82/94) ↑Good ↓Bad
Her: please answer honestly, yes or no, k?
Him: Go on.
Her: why do people make fun of blondes?
Him: Yes. |
#300446 (36/70) ↑Good ↓Bad
<DiamondK> I'm just saying
<DiamondK> What kind of a world is this where you block the word "fuck" and people get all up in arms about how censorship is bad
<DiamondK> Yet if you start talking about God and religion then they all want you censored no questions asked
<GreenCobra> And I'm just saying
<GreenCobra> Some people call that a beautiful world |
#300462 (54/66) ↑Good ↓Bad
<nlogax> lol.. a guy here at work saw his position being advertised.. and got pissed off
<miketaylr> oops
<ben_alman> like an additional resource, or a replacement?
<nlogax> they haven't said.. he sent in an application :D
<nlogax> and said "if you want to know more i'm just 15m away!"
<ben_alman> he applied for his own job?
<nlogax> yes |
#261856 (77/87) ↑Good ↓Bad
<Bobsentme> So, at work, HR decided to put up signs with some of the classic monsters (Frankenstein, The Mummy, Wolfman, etc) and slogans like "You'll get wrapped up in reading blah, blah, blah" and "Reading is electrifying" for halloween
<Bobsentme> Well, apparently, they also decided to put up, on the wall outside the cafeteria a whole timeline of GLBT contributions throughout history
<Bobsentme> GLBT = Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgendered.
<Bobsentme> So, as I'm walking down the hall, I look over at the GLBT wall, not really paying a lot of attention, until I get to the end...
<Bobsentme> Where someone had placed one of the HR halloween signs, with the Boogeyman on it, that read "Have you checked YOUR closet lately?" |
#300291 (57/95) ↑Good ↓Bad
<Fox> I disrupted a town hall meeting today with a simple question, the one I was looking for last night.
<Fox> Totaly threw all the old fearmongers off track
<Kein> lolwut?
<Fox> yeah, I tried going to a town hall meeting, which takes place at sea world here every couple weeks or so...and I seemed to be the only one trying to argue and promote facts instead of fearmongering bs
<Fox> it was mostly old people and rich looking guys in suits
<Fox> so this time when I went in and they refused to listen, I asked a question, sounding as serious as possible
<Fox> the question? "has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?"
<G-Flex> hahahaha did you seriously say that
<Fox> I had to write it down to remember it right, but...it sounds like a legit question |
#154996 (87/97) ↑Good ↓Bad
<sungo> I love resumes.
<sungo> Folks, fucking proofread your resumes.
<sungo> This guy has been a web developer since Aug 2997
<cat-xeger> sungo - novel...
<drforr> I didn't know they will have had web in 2997...
<sungo> if we still have php in 2997, I'm setting off the nukes RIGHT NOW |
#299675 (83/99) ↑Good ↓Bad
<squibbles> :o
<squibbles> Universal is producing an Asteroids Movie!
<~blue_tetris> It sounds absolutely awful.
<~blue_tetris> I'd shoot that movie, if not for the fear that it would break into three smaller movies. |
#297725 (122/126) ↑Good ↓Bad
<CShadowRun> windows keeps telling me i might be a victim of software counterfeiting :(
<CShadowRun> i don't think of myself as a victim, more of a benificiary |
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#117599 (59/79) ↑Good ↓Bad
<Celox> I'd be terrible with kids, specifically bedtime stories, I can't lie to kids
<Celox> they'd ask me if that really happened and I'd just say no, citing all the historical and scientific inaccuracies
<Celox> then I'd explain human psychology as best we understand it as a means of further proving that would never happen because people don't really act like that
<Celox> but then I'd reassure them that due to quantum physics in an alternate dimension far away from here it is entirely possible that something did happen that was at least fairly similar to the story even though we have no worldly form of proving it within our collective lifetimes
<Celox> then I'd say goodnight |
#117874 (48/74) ↑Good ↓Bad
<plasticmillion> so this is totally stupid but does anyone know the keyboard shortcut to jump to the next compilation error in VS.NET
<plasticmillion> for the life of me I can't seem to find it
* plasticmillion bets that if he asked how to invert a multidimensional matrix in the current Emacs buffer someone here would know *that*
<db48x> well
<db48x> if you're in calc mode it's &
<db48x> I'm not aware of any other modes that let you do matrix math
<plasticmillion> I rest my caseComment: irc.mozilla.org #developers
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#116343 (24/46) ↑Good ↓Bad
<IdleFire> back later perhaps, playing aoe with the girlfriend
* Quits: IdleFire (IdleFire@idlefire.net) (Quit: IdleFire)
<MadManMarkAu> Wait, he has a girlfriend, and he prefers to play AoE?
<MasterCJ> thats nothing
<MasterCJ> once he was in bed with her
<MasterCJ> naked
<MasterCJ> and was on irc
<MasterCJ> and she was playing aoe
<MadManMarkAu> :s |
#117669 (25/57) ↑Good ↓Bad
<+zmda> how fast do you guys think i can type
<+zmda> 100?
<+zmda> 200?
<+zmda> 300?
* hund sets mode: -v zmda
<@hund> 0 words per minute is my guesstimate.Comment: #c on efnet
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#117159 (3/59) ↑Good ↓Bad
popmania7: It would be like some movie thats like this situation. |
#116163 (28/64) ↑Good ↓Bad
<sly> being a sex addict is a bad thing?
<hohum> only for ugly people |
#117205 (51/69) ↑Good ↓Bad
<ghib[2d]> yeah, it's like when I tell my nephews and nieces what I do they all go ..coooool!!.. and I'm thinking if only you knew what that entailed you wouldn't be saying that
<ghib[2d]> masturbating pigs for a living isn't fun
<brome> What do you do ?
<brome> uh
<brome> wtf |
#115706 (39/55) ↑Good ↓Bad
* scalpod shakes his head in cornfusion
<Phinny> cornfusion? Is that like being caught in a maize?
<Asquire> corn fusion? is that like ethanol? |
#216997 (215/313) ↑Good ↓Bad
<Shii> ethane, mcdonalds can be a fun and rewarding job
<Shii> to get fired from
<Cpl_Ethane> Shii: I worked there, over uhm
<Cpl_Ethane> 15 years ago
<Cpl_Ethane> and I got fired
<Shii> what for?
<Cpl_Ethane> shii: you know those paper burger king crowns that BK used to hand out? I showed up to work wearing oneComment: #raspberryheaven
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#119039 (17/143) ↑Good ↓Bad
<Jon`> i only forwarded port 1024
<Jon`> are there more ports i need to forward?
<Astrum|Lap> all of them
<McShaggy|lap> Jon`
<McShaggy|lap> bend over, ill open your port for you
<Jon`> baby my port's already open for you
<McShaggy|lap> <3
<McShaggy|lap> i slide my meaty phallus between your hard steel man hams
<Astrum|Lap> ...
<Jon`> er,
<Jon`> yeah
<Jon`> that went just a bit far |
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