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#309577 (103/109) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Caboose> Mango, you're a programmer, right?
<Mango> Depends.  If you're asking because you're curious, yes, I've been a programmer for most of my career.
<Mango> If you're asking because you installed 5000 toolbars and now your computer "runs kinda slow", I work at Starbucks.
#307675 (47/75) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<kokoretsi>downloaded a 1925 film and spent 5  minutes looking for subs. I then realise it's a silent film :|
#307475 (49/89) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<ReinDigga> it was awesome, i was walking to the station at half 8 this morning
<ReinDigga> and i heard from behind me "hey, HEY, HELLLOOOOOO?"
<ReinDigga> so i turn round
<ReinDigga> and there's a man dressed fairly well, and he lifts his hand, and calls "would you like some of my spliff?"
<ReinDigga> what a nice guy
#304869 (15/47) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Tec> The Delta was the most successful Group B car ever made.
<Tec> Though I'd still give a kidney (probably someone else's) for a Sport Quattro. Thing would outdo a Veyron on any surface other than dry tarmac.
<AkumaWolf> lol
<AkumaWolf> I would want the Veyron... only to put a vinyl of the Goatse guy on the underside of the spoiler, then retract it... then when another M3 asshole harasses me on the N1... I'll just pop out the spoiler and BOOM!... goatse :P
<AkumaWolf> in.. yo... faaaace!
<Tec> Pft.
Comment: #twokinds
#306822 (72/88) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<CrazyRussian> I just finished Leisure Suit Larry 1 (again)
<CrazyRussian> It's amazing how much easier this game is when you speak English
The London Vandal Store, you should check it out.
#306129 (58/72) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<HunterX11> and apparently amazon.com sells sex toys
<HunterX11> including "used and new" prices
#305776 (69/87) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* Jorfs (Jorfs@9BEA575.2F81F144.8DE8CFAD.IP) has joined #britfa.gs
<Jorfs> Shit how do i chat up this hot redhead?
<music> okc?
<Jorfs> Nah im at a bar
<music> so let me get this straight
<music> you're at a bar
<music> and you're trying to chat a girl up
<music> but you don't know what to do, so you come on irc?
<Jorfs> Yes
<Jorfs> Why are they all laughing at me now?
<music> hahah
#303986 (68/78) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Sebas> Speaking of terrible and complaining, I celebrated my first time on the wii in about a year and a half by heavily and painfully crushing my thumb between the wiimote and the couch.
<Digga> how does that even happen
<Sebas> Stupidly.
<Logopolis> You silly dutch.
<Sebas> I went "This bowling is too easy, I shall do it with my back towards the TV and my eyes closed and at a distance."
<Sebas> The rest, as they say, is history.
<Sebas> I did throw a strike though, further proving my initial point.
#303707 (47/69) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@michael`> she dated around, but then she started dating a guy i think she dug quite a bit
<@michael`> but around 22-23, schizophrenia onset
<@michael`> and he ended his life
<@Rjx> did he try to get treatment?
<@michael`> no
<@michael`> he thought people were tricking him
<@michael`> that nothing was actually wrong
<@michael`> and that his paranoia was rational
<@Rjx> well
<@Rjx> if he'd been admitted to a hospital where they watched him 24/7 and force-fed him drugs that made him fat and stupid
<@Rjx> he would've seen how wrong his paranoia was
Comment: #geekissues
#302923 (44/58) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Pat> If you accidentally get impregnated by some douche bag there is nothing wrong with aborting that bastard. The argument that it has a heart beat is ridiculous because worms have several heart beats and people get those removed all the time. And not only do worms make you skinnier instead of fatter but they aren't going to grow up and steal my car battery to buy meth.
#302858 (31/39) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<wenqi> projection just means where is the point on the plane
<Withad> bleh. i shall get to that at some point.
<Withad> or maybe i'll just find somewhere quiet to curl up and die.
<wenqi> try library 4th or 5th floor, those are pretty quiet
<kenmcfa> or 3rd?
<wenqi> 3 is ok but i think it's a no wifi floor
#302680 (30/40) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<dd7> i took a survey of physics undergrads once asking their reaction to suddenly understanding relativity
<dd7> answers were pretty typical: "whoa", "awesome", "thats amazing"
<dd7> one guy apparently pissed himself and went the whole class without realizing it
#280960 (37/53) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Yan: This one time i was at a girlfriend's house
Yan: Spent the night there and everything went well
Yan: It was like 11:30 and we were in her basement and i was tired as hell so i told myself ill nap for like 30 minutes and then leave
Yan: I woke up and it was like 7:30 am. So i wake the girl up, she freaks out and asks why the fuck am i still home. She then tells me to leave and get out quick by the window.
Yan: Great idea except i had this oldschool Datsun 510 track ready that was so fucking loud i couldnt leave with it.
Yan: She wakes her parents up and tells them i slept over and nothing happened bla bla. Her dad comes out of the bedroom.
Yan: This guy is BIG ex military deep voice just plain scary. Looks at me and says "hey come to breakfast with us" i of course just wanna bounce. He insists and says "whats wrong? Had too much desert last night?"
Yan: I don't even know how i left after that.
#180183 (22/50) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
cycon365: it's strange how the internet is the information superhighway
cycon365: and yet we still can't spell worth shit
cycon365: i mean, there's five dictionaries on the internet, just search for it
cbaman:   well.....Dictionary is kinda a big word for some people.
#310042 (11/27) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<JoeCreates> I've a question about memory pooling
<icetooth> add that chemical that turns leaked memory blue so you can track down the source
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#310035 (123/123) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<ioiom63> I went to the doctor, and I had to fill out these papers, right?
<ioiom63> They must use the same papers for men and women, because I had to fill in whether or not I was pregnant.
<ioiom63> I'm a bit of a dick, so I wrote "You never know!"
<ioiom63> 30 minutes later a nurse is VERY angry with me because they're extremely busy already and I've just made things worse...
<ioiom63> ...because if a patient gives any indication of being unsure whether or not they are pregnant, the staff are legally required to take the time to do a pregnancy test.
<ioiom63> Apparently the rule does not also state "...but only if the patient is female."
<ioiom63> Long story short, I am most definitely NOT pregnant.
#310028 (31/51) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Natrist> what do i do already if i want my variable to be defined once and not get millions of redefiniton errors?
<jrslepak> define it only once
#310026 (16/42) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Zemyla> Wait, wrong room.
<Zemyla> Wait, the wrong room was for the wrong room.
#310025 (38/46) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<SpaceWizard> 2 + 2 = FISH!
<AaronBallman> oh, fish....
<AaronBallman> so in a past life
<AaronBallman> a few past lives ago
<AaronBallman> we had a customer send us a bug report
<AaronBallman> which included his source code. He asked us very kindly not to distribute the source code, yada yada, since it was his bread and butter
<AaronBallman> so we're looking through it, trying to repro his issue (he didn't reduce his test case at all)
<AaronBallman> and we noticed a function called decryptPassword or something along those lines, so we checked it out.
<SpaceWizard> oh boy.
<AaronBallman> in his function there was a comment, and some code, which verified that the password was not "fish" because for whatever reason, that totally broke his "encryption" scheme
<AaronBallman> Nope: // The password cannot be fish
#310019 (-13/43) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<richterthethird> after doing some research
<TheBadSpoon> you STILL can't find your penis?
#310012 (38/50) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Killswitch> I bet all the cool math nerds call each other algebros
#309823 (37/107) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<shachaf> *!*@* would be a good name for a ban
#309782 (151/179) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Taryn> some people apparently think that taxes are EVIL!!!! and that the ideal rate is 0%
<@Taryn> these people have never played SimCity
<@Taryn> (seriously, SimCity was what helped me understand why taxes exist)
<@NWH> <Fox News> Will Wright is a filthy godless liberal!
<@Taryn> lol
<@Treeki> there should be a libertarian SimCity
<@Treeki> it would be exactly like regular SimCity, but all the buttons would be disabled
<@Treeki> except for zooming and moving around
#309669 (90/108) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<sloth> I've had vendors try and hire prostitutes for me before
<sloth> "oh, this is jennifer in sales, she'll take you out for the night" 5 hours later and a few round of drinks I realize she knew nothing about the product she was supposedly selling and hardly anything about the guy who was her boss
<sloth> I still gave her benefit of the doubt until she wanted to come up to my room
<sloth> email industry is so shady
#308469 (66/102) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<hagbard> i3Guest88: the pin9 that on the webpage is marked "NC" what are you doing with that pin?
<i3Guest88> just to ground
<myself> aha
<myself> when a bit gets shifted off the edge of the '595, it falls out pin 9
<myself> if you're pushing zeroes out there, the chip is trying to drive pin 9 to ground, which is already its state, and everything is copascetic
<myself> but as soon as you shift a 1 off the edge of the register, it tries to drive pin 9 high, but it's grounded, so it shorts your power supply
<myself> when a pin is labeled NC, that means you only connect it if you're in North Carolina
<myself> and since we're in Michigan, we use that as a no-connect pin, meaning leave it floating
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