|#309823 (32/72) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
<shachaf> *!*@* would be a good name for a ban
|#309782 (103/121) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
<@Taryn> some people apparently think that taxes are EVIL!!!! and that the ideal rate is 0%
<@Taryn> these people have never played SimCity
<@Taryn> (seriously, SimCity was what helped me understand why taxes exist)
<@NWH> <Fox News> Will Wright is a filthy godless liberal!
<@Treeki> there should be a libertarian SimCity
<@Treeki> it would be exactly like regular SimCity, but all the buttons would be disabled
<@Treeki> except for zooming and moving around
|#309669 (61/75) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
<sloth> I've had vendors try and hire prostitutes for me before
<sloth> "oh, this is jennifer in sales, she'll take you out for the night" 5 hours later and a few round of drinks I realize she knew nothing about the product she was supposedly selling and hardly anything about the guy who was her boss
<sloth> I still gave her benefit of the doubt until she wanted to come up to my room
<sloth> email industry is so shady
|#308469 (51/79) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
<hagbard> i3Guest88: the pin9 that on the webpage is marked "NC" what are you doing with that pin?
<i3Guest88> just to ground
<myself> when a bit gets shifted off the edge of the '595, it falls out pin 9
<myself> if you're pushing zeroes out there, the chip is trying to drive pin 9 to ground, which is already its state, and everything is copascetic
<myself> but as soon as you shift a 1 off the edge of the register, it tries to drive pin 9 high, but it's grounded, so it shorts your power supply
<myself> when a pin is labeled NC, that means you only connect it if you're in North Carolina
<myself> and since we're in Michigan, we use that as a no-connect pin, meaning leave it floating
|#307520 (29/63) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
<%[ill]will> psyfail: I need you to do something for me.....I need you to kill a man you do not know, for reasons I can not explain, in exchange for an amount of money that cannot be discussed.
<+psyfail> [ill]will: can i rape the corpse?
<%[ill]will> you make that deicision when your cross that bridge
<+psyfail> do you need the corpse to be completely intact when it is found?
<%[ill]will> you make that decision when your cross that bridge
<+psyfail> do you mind if pictures of it eventually get to the internet, or if groups of people are allowed to do whatever they want to it for an hourly rate?
<%[ill]will> as long as you blur out the pubic region like the japanese do
<+psyfail> can i take the corpse to the bahamas and recreate the 1980s smash hit movie Weekend At Bernie's with an independent crew from Hollywood and a second crew in New York to shoot the background shots we'll need when we wrap in June?
<%[ill]will> the person has an ankle bracelet and cant leave the state
Lyndon B Comic: A tri-monthly comic of the deathly important
|#305263 (32/56) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
<Metafoxi> basically little things like "smoke bong in this town" "give beggar 1 bullet"
<Metafoxi> that last one had me puzzled
<Metafoxi> until i figured out you had to literally give him a bullet, not shoot him with it
|#309922 (15/43) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
<Bigby> so fox news is hating on the lego movie as it makes big business the bad guy
<Bigby> i really do believe if the KKK had a fortune 500 company FOX would defend them
|#309917 (10/34) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
< Laike> beyond Noodler's 54ths Mass, are there any fountain pen inks you can actually huff?
< kerin> heh, probably Superchrome
< kerin> i expect that would get the job done :drunk:
<@jrvc> I got a bit of a rush off Baystate Blue when I first opened it.
<@jrvc> It was pretty fucking rank
<@jrvc> Got me hard as a rock.
|#309908 (39/53) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
<Sebas> When I have a kid, on his eleventh birthday, I will arrange for a trained owl to deliver a letter to them. They will break the wax seal with a trembling hand, open the hand-crafted parchment, and read the words inscribed therein with a fine ink and an eagle quill:
<Sebas> "Magic isn't real, dumbass."
<Milori> 'ur adopted'
<Milori> this owl will now self-destruct in 5...
|#309905 (42/50) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
<Science> Quite frankly I'm kinda sick of the cats
<Science> Picture of cats have exactly zero appeal to me. So seeing half a channel go "No One Cares. At All CATS" is pretty annoying.
<Science> This channel isn't about looking at fucking cats
-!- Randall changed the topic of #xkcd to: This channel is about looking at fucking cats.
<Science> Ok now it's about cats
<Science> Carry on
|#309885 (44/52) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
<BlackMoon> this is why ICANN has never given a single fuck about international chars in domain names
<BlackMoon> because to them, you can't even type those things on a keyboard.
<BlackMoon> Infact im going to wager that you should start a warez/movie site in the USA
<BlackMoon> comprised of international characters
<BlackMoon> Nobody in the USA will ever be able to visit them. definately not the FBI
<BlackMoon> MPAA: "hey fbi you need to go taken this site, its like, swiggly u fancy M then an A with a swiggly hat on it"
<BlackMoon> FBI: "Uh, apparently it already has been taken down, we can't connect to UMA.com, we have no idea what your talking about swiggly hats"
|#309884 (20/44) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
* Mondale (~Mondale@CPE-120-148-236-70.hdqu1.vic.bigpond.net.au) has joined #fountain_pens
<kerin> sup, nerd
<Mondale> sup nerd
<kerin> to a limited extent
<Mondale> wtf does that mean
<kerin> it's a contraction of "punctuating"
<kerin> which means applying punctuation to sentences
<Mondale> why would you need to do that?
<kerin> "to a limited extent" indicates that this punctuation is incomplete
<Mondale> yes, but why
<kerin> because punctuation provides additional clarity when parsing sentences
<kerin> and my closing "you?" is digressing to inquire, out of politeness, about whatever tragically uninteresting bullshit you occupy your time with
<jrvc> OH BURN
|#309876 (39/55) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
<+Shawn> I've got 500 feet of cat6
<%fbs> waddafux u has so muc hcat6?
<+Shawn> fbs: Nobody was using it
<+Shawn> So I figured I could not use it better than anybody elseComment: #darkscience
|#309870 (32/42) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
<doublehappy> bomb scare at my work
<doublehappy> S U S P I C I O U S B R I E F C A S E
<doublehappy> we have to leave by the basement door now
<doublehappy> when we leave we have to go via the basement but the driveway goes right past the door where the suspicious briefcase is
<m[at]> as long as you dont taunt the briefcase you'll be fine
<doublehappy> it is an old brown briefcase with a sign saying "FREE"
|#309867 (14/36) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
< Clarke> Haskell is like dropping a trident missile on the problem; MUMPS and PHP are like slamming two uranium chunks together by hand.
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|#309850 (131/137) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
<bbitmaster> bah, this is the dumbest thing ever. I broke linux mint over the silliest thing, and I am quite pissed.
<bbitmaster> The bottom panel was too small. I was adjusting it to be more manageable. I accidentally right clicked on the "+" in the dialog that makes it larger.
<bbitmaster> right clicking causes it to go to max size. It now fills the screen and I can't go to any other window or menu or anything. I restarted and it kept that setting.
* 1 hour later
<bbitmaster> I joined the linux mint help channel, the guy there helping me suddenly left
<bbitmaster> he came back and said he was stupid enough to "recreate my problem"
<bbitmaster> and now he's in the same boat
|#309086 (75/81) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
Charlie: next door have been drilling for like 2weeks non stop
Charlie: what the fuck are they making
|#309301 (43/55) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
Bruno: "Hm, I should put on a podcast while I clean the kitchen" -> "Hm, Pragha doesn't seem to have an RSS podcast feature" -> "yum install banshee" -> "sudo yum install banshee" -> It's now like 30 minutes later and the kitchen is no cleaner
|#309287 (45/59) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
<Loxus> I fell for my own prank..
<Loxus> I had made a hidden folder on one of my hard drives named 'XXX'
<Loxus> when I opened it, there were only a text file named 'HAHA! Nothing here'
<Loxus> and I forgot that I did that. :P
|#304801 (28/52) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
<SaberUK> Rfsancho: do soviet russia jokes make sense in russian?
<Rfsancho> they do if you reverse them
<Rfsancho> "in US of A, you drive CARS!"
|#304603 (49/87) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
<Chroder> sometimes i touch the screen and then click on the mouse at the same time and pretend like its a touch screen.
|#309307 (123/171) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
< BaKamann> my cabbage is 4 gigaleaf but it still can't run linux
< BaKamann> i don't want to pay the extra fee to upgrade to lettuce
< BaKamann> this is how i see all your techy talks
|#308960 (236/262) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
<tomatosalad> it is 54 degrees in this house
<tomatosalad> I am so damn cold
<Bubonicfred> whats that in C?
<Palomides> Bubonicfred: printf("it is 54 degrees in this house");
|#304203 (117/163) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
<@JC>Haha this is awesome.
<@JC>Im in sydney airport sitting next to all these really clueless people - i realised (yes i fucking realised how bored i was at
the same time) that new firmware had come out for my modem - so i telnetted in and upgraded it - and while i was at it i noticed my voip dialplan was all wrong too so i fixed that up - basically i was winning command prompt big time.
<@JC>This being an aiport and a "console" looking dodgy as fuck got some girl running to the security guard thinking i am like sending airport infrastructure results back to the KGB or some shit. Basically i was like zero cool to this chick - which is pretty cool.
<@JC>He comes over to me and grabs my shoulder and asks what i was doing i said i was "hacking the gibson"
<@JC>AND THE MOTHERFUCKER CONFISCATED MY GODDAMN LAPTOP - HE HAD TO HAVE AN IT "EXPERT" LOOK AT MY LAPTOP WHICH DELAYED MY FLIGHT UNDER A "SECURITY RISK" i swear to god - they are just getting bored - like all this money
going toward airport security and they bag a dude for telnetting his modem - when that lady next to me was probably smuggling crack inbetween her butt cheeks.
<@JC>So moral of this story - telnetting can sometimes get you nearly arrested.
|#302136 (84/140) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag |
<@CESSMASTA> "rape risk rise for cambodia women"
<@CESSMASTA> i like alliteration and all but that headline strikes me as a tad unprofessional
<@dbelange> Cambodian Cooch Caper Count Climbing
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