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#311079 (9/9) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<snesbot> Do you think love can bloom even on a battlefield?
<Screwtape> I do not.
<Jistuce> Love can't bloom on a battlefield because love is a battlefield.
<Screwtape> And we can't have nested battlefields, that would be *crazy*.
<Screwtape> What is this, Disgaea?
<Jistuce> Pretty sure it's The Sims.
#311003 (18/20) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<manderson> I decided to surprise visit my mom for thanksgiving.
<manderson> She answered the door and asked, "can I help you?" and looked confused.
<asterick> hah
<manderson> Yeah, then it all went downhill.
<manderson> It took less than 5 minutes before she asked me to fix her computer.
<manderson> You haven't seen me in two years and *that* is what you want?
#310983 (33/37) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<luper> we forced this one guy with a long-ass beard to wear a beard net because his beard DID get caught in a server rack
#310978 (25/29) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<!spaghetti> What's that thing deaf people have
< FrobtheBuilder> peace and quiet?
#310957 (25/29) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
h34rts0me: area man discovers new dimension, becomes volume man
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#310941 (25/27) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
Chillum: the most evil thing I have ever made is a tiny USB stick that when inserted in a computer pretends to be a keyboard and turns on/off CAPS LOCK every minute or so randomly
Chillum: it drives people insane
dmacks_away: Luckily I have a case-insensitive filesystem and a shell that is so crappy it doesn't even realize when a command is miscapitalized.
legoktm: you use PHP as your shell?
#310934 (14/14) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<+wowaname> was gonna do this
<~c4t> so much easier
* sv sets mode: +b File!*@*
* sv sets mode: +"<srig>,1 line
* sv sets mode: +b for!*@*
* sv sets mode: +e +!*@*
* sv sets mode: +xr(23):?*@uw. print
* sv sets mode: +b ^!*@*
* sv sets mode: +b SyntaxError:!*@*
<+wowaname> shit
* sv sets mode: -b File!*@*
* sv sets mode: -"<string>,l
* sv sets mode: -b for!*@*
* sv sets mode: -x(23):+?"*@ugw.i
* sv sets mode: -b ^!*@*
* sv sets mode: -b SyntaxError:!*@*
* sv sets mode: -i
<+wowaname> whatever the fuck that was
<+wowaname> hold on
<~c4t> lol what did you do
<+wowaname> fucked up the ircd
* sv sets mode: +y wowaname
<!wowaname> ugh
#310922 (17/19) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<whyrusleeping> last time i went to ikea i left with a bunch of artistic twigs and a different girlfriend
<whyrusleeping> still have the twigs
#310894 (8/8) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@witheld> Well, my computer from the age of 3 to about 10 was this frankenstein build that a family friend built us running 95. When I first started using it I just used a program called "baby type" which created various noises and visualizations from pressing buttons and messing with the mouse
<@witheld> And then when I was 10 or so the mexican guy gave me my own windows 98 computer
<@witheld> mexican guy down the street*
<@KittyKatt> Oh, I thought you meant THE mexican guy.
<@KittyKatt> Like, everyone was supposed to get their computer from the mexican guy at the age of 10.
#310881 (16/18) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<StoneCyp1erAW> dude i just met a fourth person named chance.
<StoneCyp1erAW> WHAT ARE THE CHANCES
#310795 (7/7) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<PFY> We should have a tattoo like the scarlet letter
<PFY> "I deployed on a friday"
<PFY> that way you knew what you were getting into at interviews
#310794 (9/9) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<anodos_> good entropy source - leave a newbie with a file open in vi, ask him to exit it, and track all the keystrokes
#310758 (7/7) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<BadSpoon> I keep thinking... if I were the guy who actually used all the lifehacks he found online, I'd be the most annoying guy in the world
#310732 (8/8) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<camel> > Do you have a full-time job? > No > We're sorry, you do not qualify for this survey.
<camel> Why the fuck would I be doing a $2 30 minute survey
<camel> if I had a full time job
#310654 (12/12) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Jigsy^Vol> My favorite episode of Star Wars was when Kirk got assimilated by the Darleks.
The Preferences page allows you to disable these links and much more!
#310629 (15/15) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<TonyTheLemur> they tested our tornado siren a couple mornings ago
<Glaug-Eldare> did she attract any tornadoes
Comment: #foxie
#310585 (10/10) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
< rycuda> Well, turns out that I need glasses
< BrainoMite> rycuda, walk into the wall again?
< rycuda> BrainoMite: close, I walked into an optician
#310561 (8/8) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Jigsy> I've got NP problems. But P ain't one.
#310545 (74/98) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<excron> When I mentioned IRC to my therapist he put away his notebook and got out his calendar.
#310496 (25/27) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
danlamanna: god
danlamanna: watching cspan online instead of on tv requires you to sign-in to your cable package
danlamanna: I can't even watch my own government fuck me for free
#310474 (24/28) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<TheHackOps> I thought i was paranoid because I encrypt all my business emails
<TheHackOps> Get a letter from ISP asking why i am doing it
<TheHackOps> So yep
<TheHackOps> Some desert island is looking pretty good guys
Comment: irc.freenode.net ##security
#310413 (38/42) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
(aaaaaaaaa) I know people at work that actually store files in the recycle bin. As in, they store files they plan to use in the future there. IT had to stop deleting files from it because of people's work was getting lost and had to be restored from the backups.
#310343 (27/35) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
< yates> let me read and then perhaps ask more intelligent questions.
< o11c> pretty sure that's never happened in this channel before ^
Comment: freenode ##c++
#310171 (35/43) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<kmc> I like telling people who've only used high level languages about the bizarre forms of undefined behavior in C, and then ending it with "this language and its relatives are used for most systems in planes, cars, medical devices, nuclear reactors, etc."
#309987 (37/47) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<agocs_work> It's like the US's war debt to france
<agocs_work> "Nope, we don't owe _you_, we owe the old French monarchy!"
<agocs_work> sux2bu4revolting
<r4v5> if you liked it then you shoulda kept a king on it
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