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#307481 (240/306) ↑Good ↓Awful πOld
<Sebas> butts
<Erasmus> butts
<Sebas> butts
<Erasmus> butts
<Erasmus> Sometimes I feel like we're not using the Internet to its full potential.
#305789 (77/145) ↑Good ↓Awful πOld
<+replicated> talking to a friend in japan now
<+replicated> she thought she was gonna die lol
<!Suriko> tsunamis can do that
<!Suriko> is her house/relatives okay?
<+replicated> yeah all good
<+replicated> she's in yokohama
<+replicated> so no tsunami
<+replicated> but still scary as shit
<Doomfest> ask her if her figurines are fine
<+replicated> this is why you never get laid doom
#305635 (130/186) ↑Good ↓Awful πOld
< JDigital> my sister found out that I know the names of the my little ponies
< JDigital> I don't know how long I can keep up the facade that I don't watch it
#301489 (174/224) ↑Good ↓Awful πOld
<Anoria> but the replacement parts are coming out of a $3 camera from ebay, so maybe something weird happened to this particular screen. there were no polarizers in either of the parts cameras.
<Bunsen> Man, this is why we need mantis shrimp vision.
<Anoria> I'm simply dying to know what you mean by that.
<Bunsen> Mantis shrimp have freakishly detailed perception of light.
<Bunsen> Like several more pigments than us, plus sensitivity to horizontal, vertical, and circular polarization.
<Anoria> yikes.
<peer> what does a shrimp need with that kind of vision?
<Bunsen> Hell if I know.  Ask one.
<Anoria> I know there are beetles whose carapaces circularly polarize light, but I somehow doubt they share habitat
* Anoria reassembles the camera with both polarizers in place so they don't get lost in case someone eventually figures out what to do with them
<Anoria> or not polarizers. gratings. whatever.
<Bunsen> Oh my, I had forgotten that mantis shrimp are also capable of snapping their claws hard enough to cause cavitation and sonoluminescence.
<Anoria> wtf they're physics shrimp
<Bunsen> Exactly.
<Bunsen> Put 'em in heavy water, and I'm pretty sure they'll discover fusion.
<c0nsumer> why have you not done this yet?
<Bunsen> Because I, for one, do *not* welcome our new fusion-powered optics-researching crustacean overlords.
Comment: I'm going to start a band called Physics Shrimp.
#307310 (150/192) ↑Good ↓Awful πOld
* Pryoidain is now known as MSWord
<MSWord> Oh Hi! I'm Microsoft word!
<MSWord> Hmm...I'm not really sure what you're doing here..you're using my equation editor an awful lot.
<MSWord> Oh! I see alot of numbers in parenthesis before these equations!
<MSWord> Huh...They don't quite match up though. See you have (1),(2),(3),(1),(3),(4),(1),(2),(5)
<MSWord> I can help! Let me just automatically reformat those into a list!
* MSWord DESTROYS ALL FORMATTING TO THIS POINT
<MSWord> What? You want me to stop automatically generating lists and go back to previous?
<MSWord> But..I was just trying to help!
<MSWord> Here, I'll fix it.
* MSWord RESETS ALL NUMBERS, FORMATTING, TAB INDENTATIONS, AND FORMULA LAYOUTS
<MSWord> There, Back to a blank slate!
<MSWord> What?
<MSWord> Hey why are you undoing?
<MSWord> Hey, don't go in there, those are my settings!
<MSWord> But, that's the autocorrect setting! That's me! What are you plan-
* MSWord is now known as Pryoidain
<Pryoidain> This is exactly how I am going to explain to my idiot math teacher why Microsoft word is a fucking HORRIBLE choice for a math homework submission.
sadhat: low-noise, high-signal news
#307010 (93/145) ↑Good ↓Awful πOld
<rooshoes> what uhh
<rooshoes> what kind of sex do you imagine us having
<a_boy> 1 sec phone call
<rooshoes> yeah nice and quick
<rooshoes> "im cumming!" *click*
#306996 (127/161) ↑Good ↓Awful πOld
<scoff> I owe Toronto a visit at some point
<Mr_Shfty> outstanding warrants?
<scoff> Well, they're okay but I wouldn't say they're outstanding
#306409 (138/172) ↑Good ↓Awful πOld
< iFarmer> I've come to the conclusion that the employees of my local library are idiots
< iFarmer> "Scan our QR code to browse our library database on your smartphone!"
< iFarmer> I scan the QR code. It says:
< iFarmer> "Scan our QR code to browse our library database on your smartphone!"
#303993 (131/159) ↑Good ↓Awful πOld
<Octopussy> i need to do something about this irc font
<&Shark> make it comic sans
<Octopussy> it looks all weirdy without fixed width
<Octopussy> yes, i should try comic sans first
<Octopussy> now everyone looks like an idiot
<Octopussy> i'll keep comic sans for a while
#303849 (117/159) ↑Good ↓Awful πOld
<Iridium> Alcohol is starting to fail me as a coping mechanism.
<PlanetDollar> drink more
<Iridium> Obviously that was my first step
<Iridium> but I can only drink so much before it becomes tomorrow, at which point I'm back to square one.
<PlanetDollar> smoke weed
<Iridium> I don't have the experience of smoking copious amounts of weed but I imagine there'd be a similar difficulty.
<PlanetDollar> you do build up a tolerance yes
<SentSix> I too fear that I'm going to have to start facing my problems.
<Iridium> WHOA WHOA whoa now
<Iridium> nobody said shit about facing problems
#303759 (86/134) ↑Good ↓Awful πOld
< ADINSX> where are  you from thereyougo?
< thereyougo> finland
< thereyougo> when in 3rd grade we started english teacher asked what we can say in english
< thereyougo> it was all like "autobots, roll"
Comment: #cobol
#307080 (170/312) ↑Good ↓Awful πOld
<aNavi> i like my women how i like my video games
<dd7> 12 years old and made in japan?
<aNavi> yes
<aNavi> ah, fuck
#306931 (285/347) ↑Good ↓Awful πOld
<Jimbo> The best way for a baker to prevent his delicious cakes being stolen would be to cover them in dogshit and broken glass, but in doing so he would also kill his sales. Ubisoft are currently that baker.
#306924 (160/272) ↑Good ↓Awful πOld
<hmcd> dude like
<hmcd> the hilight of my day
<hmcd> was spinning my rainbow-ass umbrella
<hmcd> and shouting HEY LOOK I'M A MAC LOADING LOADING LOADING
<@recon> Have you ever considered suicide?
#306819 (228/320) ↑Good ↓Awful πOld
<MisfortuneCooki> so i had this group meeting
<MisfortuneCooki> where several groups had to make a model of some new building that serves a purpose on campus
<MisfortuneCooki> my group built a stripclub
<MisfortuneCooki> a hexagonal stripclub
<MisfortuneCooki> and we named it the sexagon
<MisfortuneCooki> and we WON
Open call for science fiction prose/art
#306764 (132/190) ↑Good ↓Awful πOld
<@carlsson> Today is the birthday of the IBM PC and the Berlin wall!
<@carlsson> I wonder which one has caused most grief and suffering.
#306677 (222/320) ↑Good ↓Awful πOld
<maxson> honestly
<maxson> it's weird because
<maxson> normally, i'd get to know her better before asking her out
<Leaff> you're asking for relationship advice froma 12 year old?
<Leaff> oh
<Leaff> ok
<maxson> the only way i'm going to get to know her better is by asking her out
<maxson> so it's like a dilemma
<maxson> also yes
<maxson> irl this would be creepy
<Leaff> yup
<Leaff> irl me hanging out with you would be creepy
<maxson> yup
<Leaff> irl a lot of things that people do on the internet would be creepy
<maxson> like talk to people while looking at porn
<Leaff> exactly
<maxson> "hey james how's it going"
<maxson> "HRRNG oh fine URRRGH you?"
<Leaff> "are you fapping"
<Leaff> "LOL NOPE NOT AT ALL"
<Leaff> "DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY YOU WOULD SUGGEST THAT"
<maxson> "did you piss your pants"
<maxson> "you're in the ballpark"
<Leaff> i think we should end this part of the conversation right now
<Leaff> before it gets
* Leaff sunglasses
<maxson> out of hand?
<Leaff> out of haFUCK YOU
#306132 (83/229) ↑Good ↓Awful πOld
< mike|laptop> osama bin laden was killed before duke nukem forever came out
#306012 (230/332) ↑Good ↓Awful πOld
panjohnl: Bad joke time! So Helium walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases here."
panjohnl: Helium doesn't react.
panRJK: you know what I say to that?
panRJK: He He He
#305734 (136/240) ↑Good ↓Awful πOld
<Sylnai> I once wrote a game for DOS which provided tactile feedback if you had your hand inside the printer
#305574 (142/230) ↑Good ↓Awful πOld
<@Timmeh> harrah, my dad got through his surgery well
<@Timmeh> so well in fact his main complaint is having to wear a hospital gown
<@Timmeh> first words through the door "hey dad, how're you feeling?" "I'm wearing a fucking dress, son"
#305523 (184/286) ↑Good ↓Awful πOld
11:01 <tamara> i love peeing
11:01 <tamara> wanna see what i did to my boyfriend
11:01 <tamara> uh
11:01 <tamara> unrelated
#305261 (119/217) ↑Good ↓Awful πOld
* anarkoid has joined #ipsofacto
<anarkoid> HEY GUYS
<anarkoid> WHAT'S UP
<Save> lol caps much?
<anarkoid> oops
<anarkoid> i was writing youtube comments heh
#305055 (139/247) ↑Good ↓Awful πOld
<Nuvero> man, i think i just got trolled hard
<Nuvero> i was taking a dump, when I notice a Playboy is lying in the newspaper box, so I started reading it
<Nuvero> (reading it, no fapping, or anything)
<Nuvero> halfway through, I hear the door open, and a knife appeared
<Nuvero> i was like "holy fucking shit!" and started pulling my pants up real quick
<Nuvero> when the door fully open, and here is my dad, with a knife in his hand, taking a photo of me
<Nuvero> freaked out, trying to pull up my pants, with a Playboy in the hand
<Nuvero> i... don't know what to think.
#304488 (145/243) ↑Good ↓Awful πOld
<octdave> i need to poop and eat
<octdave> ever ate a sandwich while pooping?
<octdave> I might try that, to save time
<officer_falcon> save even more time, just throw the sandwhich into the toilet
<officer_falcon> take out the middle man
T-Shirt Hell: Shirts you'll never have the balls to wear in public
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