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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..354355356357358359360..596Next> |
#299814* (?/42) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<boots> my friend let my cat out when it was in heat
<boots> she's been outside three days in her entire life
<boots> and had sex nonstop for those three days
<boots> and had 5 kittens a couple months later
<boots> long haired and short haired
<boots> I wasn't aware one litter of kittens could have multiple fathers?
<@gato> yep
<boots> well, her and the two girls we kept
<boots> are now fixed
<boots> we were taking her to GET FIXED
<boots> when my friend let her out of the car
<boots> and she ran away!
<@Tuffany> d'oh!
<boots> yeah, that was like a combination of several forms of bad luck
<boots> but I didn't take any chances the next time
<Davin> See, and the problem with a pregnant cat, is you can't push it down a flight of stairs to miscarry because they always land on their feet
<boots> ....... |
#299851* (?/28) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ussdefiant> did anyone notice that a new version of LCS came out 2 weeks ago?
<Schmi> no
<Schmi> I actually avoided noticing that
<Momaw> So you noticed it before un-noticing it
<Schmi> I noticed the fact that there was something in need of not noticing
<Schmi> so I avoided noticing it by occupying my notice senses with something else to notice
<Momaw> But how can you avoid the thing you don't want to notice unless you've noticed it enough to note its time and place
<Schmi> I felt a disturbance in the force
<Momaw> Oh, right |
#299859* (?/30) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<~Fae`liin_M`taali> Niro: Girls like a guy that won't make them gag when they cum. >.>
<@Nirofen> They will gag and like it >:(Comment: During a conversation about how semen tastes
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#299863* (?/26) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<john> Well, don't be bleh in the interview or you won't get it. Just be your usual charming self and in the middle of the interview, stop and say 'Hold on a minute, I have to fart.' Then fart and run around the office yelling 'Cookie Monster coming to town!' I'm telling you, they LOVE shit like that." |
#299864* (?/30) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Rick> I had a par on hole #14!!!!!
<John> who the fuck cares?
<John> what's a par?
<John> when you get a ball up the ass?
<John> that's actually called putting the dogs into the bath
<John> when you try to stuff your balls in a woman's butthole
<Rick> A par is when your mom comes into my part of town and "takes care" of everyone. That's a "par".
<John> then she's been parring for years now |
#299872* (?/32) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Crusader> I don't have an issue with wolfX
<Crusader> him and I are on neutral grounds
<Crusader> havoc is just a dick
<Omnifox> Lucky, you must have him on ignore
<Crusader> yep
<Crusader> only one I keep on that list
<Omnifox> hahaha |
#299880* (?/26) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Zach: I figure if they get rid of me then I will have my vacation pay, last check and hopefully some severance pay...so that would give me a month to get my shit together
Nick: And bang as many women as possible.
Zach: Yes...then when I get AIDs I can kill myself
Nick: YES! Go out with a bang.
Zach: No way...I would eat like 100 vicodin
Nick: Snort it, it'll hit you faste.r
Zach: hahahah...no thank you...I think doing that would hurt too much
Nick: wtf matters, you'll be dead in a few hours.
Zach: How about cooking them down and then injecting them
Nick: Now you're thinkin'.
Nick: Use rat poison.
Zach: no, you are getting off course here
Nick: Vicodin laced with rat poison.
Zach: Nope
Nick: That's no fun.
Zach: wtf is with the rat poison
Nick: You kinda need that element that really stands out.
Nick: Like black tar heroin.
Zach: you are getting somewhere now
Nick: "Man he OD'd...on vicodin" "HA, pussy"
Nick: or
Nick: "Man he OD'd...on heroin, crack, and vicodin...all while dancing naked to bob marley and eating skittles" "Man that guy was hardcore"
Nick: Go down as a legend.
Zach: that would be awesome!
Nick: Gotta be a fish out of water.
Nick: Everyone OD's on vicodin.
Nick: Hell look at Heath Ledger.
Zach: he OD on like 4 different kinds of pills
Nick: Still...pills.
Nick: No heroin or crack.
Nick: Gotta go all out.
Nick: GO BIG OR GO HOME!
Zach: I don't want my family to think that of me
Nick: But thinking you OD'd on 4000 vicodins is better?
Nick: They'll think you're lazy and not creative.
Nick: Wouldn't you want them to think you put thought into it?
Zach: why again are we talking about how I should kill myself?
Nick: I have no idea...something about AIDS. |
#299887* (?/36) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Balade_WORK> no
<Balade_WORK> if i were a furry i would be masturbating to her
<Balade_WORK> not at her
<Balade_WORK> it's like peeing on someone
<Balade_WORK> only more horrible |
#299926* (?/40) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Mike_W> i just spent 2 1/2hours looking for an ic that I now remember I never bought
<Mike_W> 'looking' included sorting through last weeks trash, which included the contents of an emptied cat litter box
<Mike_W> FML :P |
#299927* (?/34) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<aricon> I don't fuck clouds
<aricon> no matter how much they look like boobs |
#299930* (?/32) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
GarySimat: so how about
GarySimat: spent 3k on a washer/dryer
Nick Pinciotti: wtf
Nick Pinciotti: does it talk to you
Nick Pinciotti: tell you the weather
Nick Pinciotti: comfort you in times of need
GarySimat: i got them from amex gift cards
GarySimat: you put shit in and press the button
GarySimat: there steamwasher and steamdryer
Nick Pinciotti: hmm
Nick Pinciotti: not familiar with this new technology
GarySimat: yea you put shit in a press button, it puts the right amount of water in by the weight
GarySimat: and then it drys stuff by the weight and senses how wet shit is
GarySimat: washer spins at 1200rpm so its suppose to be damn near dry when you put it in thedryer
GarySimat: haha
GarySimat: im waitin for it to blow me as im standin there
Nick Pinciotti: youtube that shit if it does |
#299941* (?/26) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@b-cumPool> Yogart, i want to fucking clean ur asshole clean after u poop
<@b-cumPool> !!
<Yogart> i clean it my self , sorry i dnt need help
<@b-cumPool> i want to help please
<@b-cumPool> u are my allah superior
<Yogart> u r mentaly ill
<Yogart> no one can help u
<@b-cumPool> Yogart i love u
<@b-cumPool> can we be lovers
<@b-cumPool> gay cyber love
<@b-cumPool> ??
<Yogart> sorry not in to that shit
<@b-cumPool> does allah not like ? |
#299947* (?/34) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<fahadsadah> Err...
<fahadsadah> Might have added cat ansirickroll.txt to my .bashrc |
#299970* (?/28) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Gabo: i dont have anything to do and the irc is just as dead
Ha...!: go jack off
Ha...!: >_>
Ha...!: That's what it was invented for
Gabo: already did <_<
Ruins: lol
Usthepeople: lol
Ha...!: Hire a hoe
Ha...!: That's what they were invented for
Ruins: lol
Gabo: dont have the money -_-
Ruins: then steal it
Gabo: hmmmm
Ha...!: That's what stealing was invented for.
Gabo: to hire hoes?
Ruins: exactlyComment: AWDoR Meebo
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#299974* (?/32) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<KillaB> like a malcolm x-mas
<||bass> wtf is a malcolm xmas
<||bass> is that the 1st day of quanzaa?Comment: #arc-nova.org on DarkMystIRC
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#299976* (?/30) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Jens> The Council of Europe is the organization set up in the forties to gradually turn (western) Europe into a political union, unlike the Council of the European Union, which is the club in which the governments of about half the Council of Europe members meet in order to plot the creation of a political union while half-heartedly pretending not to. Strangely enough, many people are confused by this. |
#299980* (?/22) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ilanbg> sorry about that, I lost internet connection apparently
<ilanbg> what was the last thing you got from me?
<celeste> the email you sent to your professor
<ilanbg> okay
<ilanbg> here is what I sent after that which I guess you didn't get:
<ilanbg> 10:45:07 PM ilanbg: halloe?
<ilanbg> 10:45:30 PM ilanbg: HALP
<ilanbg> and that is all
<ilanbg> okay... moving on... |
#300009* (?/26) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
** JamietheCat90 has joined
<JamietheCat90> HI AGAIN
<JamietheCat90> MEGAN?
<JamietheCat90> Meg?
<Sting1> Megan... didn't make it.
<Sting1> I'm sorry. We tried our best.
<whitesidevampire> We lost her, three clicks back.
<slightlymighty> She's totally in a better place.
<JamietheCat90> oh....... |
#300014* (?/36) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Garet_L> do
<Garet_L> your
<Garet_L> friends
<Garet_L> also
<Garet_L> write
<Garet_L> like
<Garet_L> this
<Garet_L> ?
* Garet_L was kicked by Artefact (Garet_L) |
#300024* (?/30) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+raeper> STARTREK DOESNT MAKE SENCE
<+Liquid911> when did Start Trek come out ?
<+raeper> the movie doesnt make sence
* raeper was kicked by Legend (infractions: 1. all caps 2. general idiocy 3. not putting the space between star and trek 4. learn to spell sense) |
#300039* (?/32) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Criously> why the fuck cant I do shit
<WarringTriad> oh, you do plenty of shit |
#300040* (?/54) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
@Ben: spaceinvader: you sure theres no practicals this week man?
@Willow: surely you would have had an e-mail?
@Urdal: Ben: The mail said so at least
@Willow: saying: practicals start today
@Willow: there you go
@slightlymad: :o
@Ben: ahh reeet
* Willow pats Ben
@Ben: alrihgt
@Narcissus: Ben: if you get into trouble about it say "welp told me not to go"
@Ben: no practicals then ;D
@Willow: XD
@Narcissus: ad they'll let you know
@Ben: no
@Narcissus: cause they know he's a retard
@Ben: hahah
* Narcissus hides
@welp: FU
! Narcissus was kicked from #42 by welp [Am not wrtarted] |
#300041* (?/32) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[17:01:29] * Derrek demands Hush3h makes him some dip for his chips, using only the things he has around him....in a clean room
[17:01:55] * Husk3h vomits in a cup and hands it to Derrek
[17:02:11] Derrek Eeeeewwwwwww
[17:02:16] * Derrek shudders |
#300077* (?/26) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[7:09:57 PM] wldfire99: i had no idea
wldfire99: gho is a dick
El Gappo: its been up for weeks
El Gappo: lol
El Gappo: only a little bit
GH0: I am a dick to you, because you are not knowledable enough to determine information for yourself. |
#300089* (?/34) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<JakeY> so wait... ur a girl irl, ur hot AND u find nerds sexy?
<KateKitty> yup.
<sEpHiRoTh42> ROFL, did you guys see the latest bash.org quotes?
<@KnowTooMuch> pff, half of them are fake anyway.
<@KnowTooMuch> why bother?
<sEpHiRoTh42> oh well, if we ever gonna make a quote, at least we'll know it's genuine..
* God has joined the channel.
<God> Actually, no.
<JakeY> oO
<sEpHiRoTh42> uh, what?
<God> Actually, this whole conversation is a fake bash.org quote thought out by a guy with way too much time.
<sEpHiRoTh42> LOL! Cool shit you're talking
<God> Oh yeah? Then tell me, how's your real name? How old are you? How's the name of this channel even?
<KateKitty> what a freak -.-
<sEpHiRoTh42> lol yeah right, can't you just read?
<sEpHiRoTh42> wait
<sEpHiRoTh42> uh, just a second
<KateKitty> ?
<sEpHiRoTh42> how did you do this?
<sEpHiRoTh42> ...
<sEpHiRoTh42> FUCK
<sEpHiRoTh42> OMFG
<sEpHiRoTh42> FUCK
<@KnowTooMuch> what the hell?
<God> See...
<sEpHiRoTh42> omg, this is so freaky! Why didn't we notice this?
<sEpHiRoTh42> hang on...
* sEpHiRoTh42 is Away: brb killing some people |
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