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#26245 (68/230) ⚐Flag
<Threeboy> i think advertising other channels is like bay employees going into sears and shouting "HUDSON BAY COMPANY NEEDS MORE CUSTOMERS"
#311395* (?/25) ⚐Flag
Xhiel: OH MY GOD
Xhiel: so these's an online company that make mini bricks for construction stuff
Xhiel: and there's a reddit thread where a poster said he once masturbated used a miniature brick anally
Xhiel: and it got stuck inside, so he had to literally shit a brick
Xhiel: so someone links the website that makes tiny bricks
Xhiel: and the owner notices all the traffic
Xhiel: and tracks the fucking thread down
Xhiel: AND POSTS A 30% DISCOUNT CODE
Xhiel: "MINIBRICKDILDO"
Xhiel: AND THE GOD DAMNED CODE WORKS
Xhiel: I can't right now
Xhiel: I have lost my ability to even
Xhiel: AND HIS COMMENT IS GUILDED
Xhiel: THAT'S IT
Xhiel: I"M DONE
#29104 (209/355) ⚐Flag
<wfg> at one place I worked, someone had an "rm -fr" in a build script for  their software development team...the makefile was set up wrong so that it would start in / and do the rm -fr...and it traversed /net, which was the automounter directory.
<wfg> Blew away 40 servers before the build guy thought to wonder why his make was taking six hours.
#17873 (124/287) ⚐Flag
<Kerpal>the Cd-key is 56dsr67x
<vR|Sn00kie>Wont work....hmm
<kerpal>Hmm....it is x as in zebra
<vR|Sn00kie> you are stupid
#296772 (438/558) ⚐Flag
<Kayeffem|wrkin> so i got a good story for all of you
<Kayeffem|wrkin> yesterday the supreme bitch brought in her home laptop because i needed to set it up for remote access
<Kayeffem|wrkin> while it was here she decided to bitch about how the screen isnt used up all the way and there are spaces on the sides
<Kayeffem|wrkin> now this is a 17" widescreen laptop
<Kayeffem|wrkin> and it's being used at the max widescreen resolution
<Kayeffem|wrkin> as i play around with it i notice that there's nothing wrong and the screen is just fine
<Kayeffem|wrkin> so she tells me to goto the internet and goto a webpage
<Kayeffem|wrkin> where i find out her real problem
<Kayeffem|wrkin> the websites that she likes to visit dont expand to fit multiple resolutions
<Kayeffem|wrkin> thus causing empty space to the left and right of the main webpage
<Kayeffem|wrkin> now apparently this is a big enough problem for her that she's going to purchase a second laptop that's smaller
<Kayeffem|wrkin> so that the websites will take up the full screen with no gaps
<JackWat|Lap> HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA
<JackWat|Lap> Kayeffem|wrkin: thats fuckin crazy
<Adam^2> crazy bitch is crazy
<Kayeffem|wrkin> yea, i almost asked her if she was fucking with me
#303089 (498/622) ⚐Flag
<Iridium> it's funny
<Iridium> I saw that there's an article on the NYT about how we can't focus anymore with all this multitasking
<Iridium> so I opened it in a new tab and went to finish reading my other RSS items
<Iridium> and then checked email, and facebook
<Iridium> and am updating you all here
<Iridium> and ten minutes later just realized I haven't looked at the article yet. =/
#36814 (53/171) ⚐Flag
<gloone> i like girls
<scorf> if you keep telling yourself that, maybe it'll come true :~)
Comment: #ramen
#13 (220/1132) ⚐Flag
<EtherMan> stoner chicks suck
<EtherMan> they're a waste of a perfectly good set of breasts.
#299757 (259/373) ⚐Flag
AstralFire> I am horrified and amused. On the other side of the highway by my house, there is a horse farm. Waiting on the light to change, I realized I was behind a small sedan with a horse-themed license plate that reads "PWNIES."
#9218 (71/242) ⚐Flag
<FatherShark> Does anyone know how to make real Sangria?
<[empathy]> blood of retards
<FatherShark> okay, find me a vein empathy.
#34219 (448/604) ⚐Flag
<domenow> I'm gripping your cock hard
<ThAtGuy> i'm feeling your breasts
<ThAtGuy> my dick is getting really hard now
<domenow> yeah, mine too
<domenow> I mean... err.
#2562 (178/338) ⚐Flag
<EPIK> hmm, wonder what this button does
*** EPIK has left #gzhq
#266270 (4876/5692) ⚐Flag
Curt teh Juggler: our graduation ceremony was today, and right when some gamer nerd got his diploma, someone in the audience played the zelda "get item" music and he did the zelda spin-hold-out-item stance
Curt teh Juggler: it was quite possibly the most amazing thing ever.
#61017 (393/549) ⚐Flag
Mattykins: i just did the stupidest thing evar
The Kaos Jester: Installed OS X?
Mattykins: okay i thought i broke my NIC on OS X right
Mattykins: cause it said "The Ethernet cable for Built-In Ethernet is not plugged in." right
Mattykins: and that's what it says when it is broken
Mattykins: so i spend like three hours trying to fix it
Mattykins: and i look behind the computer
Mattykins: the fucking network cable is unplugged
#42985 (181/315) ⚐Flag
<eLe> *I* have a social life.
<zeph> LIES
<zeph> prove it
<eLe> Nah, too busy coding
Comment: irc.digitaltoxicity.net #digitaltoxicity
#50021 (218/482) ⚐Flag
<EventHorizon> is it just me or does our -106 prof wear sweaters alot?
<swtaarrs> that's a sweatshirt
<EventHorizon> yeah
<EventHorizon> i think sweatshirt extends sweater though
<EventHorizon> so its still an instance
<DroolingSheep> no it doesn't sweaters suck
<swtaarrs> you're an instance of stupid
<EventHorizon> ur an instance of ur mom
<ChixLoveUnix> I implemented your mom last night.
<EventHorizon> i extended ur mom so bad she threw an exception
<EventHorizon> or something
<swtaarrs> if your mom were a collection class, her insert method would be public
#29205 (568/752) ⚐Flag
<NES> lol
<NES> I download something from Napster
<NES> And the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading it from me when I'm done
<NES> I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got that from you"
<NES> "getting my song back fucker"
#56192 (228/348) ⚐Flag
<thefwf> lent soon
<thefwf> this is where my amazing plan comes in
<FSR|Meatwad> yeah
<FSR|Meatwad> which is
<thefwf> my new years resolution was to give up something for lent
<thefwf> and for lent
<thefwf> i'm giving up my new years resolution
<thefwf> WIN!
#55726 (206/384) ⚐Flag
(@Tenor) man
(@Tenor) I got owned
(@Tenor) hardcore
(@Tenor) fucking myspace
(@Tenor) this shit with a crush calculator
(@Tenor) enter the full name of yourself and your crush
(@Tenor) press submit
(@Tenor) it emails results to the person
(@Tenor) gay
(@Tenor) why the FUCK did I fall for that one
#34306 (327/493) ⚐Flag
<Jerec> I went to the bookstore this morning and saw a book called 'AOL for Dummies'
<Jerec> That's like killing one bird with two stones!
#306225 (99/225) ⚐Flag
<TParadox> January 20th, 2008: President Bush approaches the helicopter waiting to carry him away from the White House for the last time, turns to the crowd and says, "Ladies and Gentlemen... The Aristocrats!"
#5406 (232/409) ⚐Flag
*** Swish changes topic to '"I never pirated it....it was donated.  by the file fairy.  I put a blank CD under my pillow..."'
#58516 (166/322) ⚐Flag
<+dbx> I suspect I'm missing one of my mini-to-normal jack converters again.
<+dbx> I also suspect my dog got hungry again.
<+dbx> Goddamnit, fourth fucking time this month. x_x
#60330 (2335/2943) ⚐Flag
<evilAdmin> ...
<evilAdmin> Never seen that one before.
<evilAdmin> Got back from meeting with a friend, who wanted to show me some $35K Server systems in a datacenter basically underground downtown that he is a part of.
<evilAdmin> During the tour, I'm like "Dude- is that a pizzabox inbetween those 4U servers?", and he's like "Yup. Want some lunch?". Pulls the box out, grabs a slice. I already ate, so I passed.
<evilAdmin> He says that the $20K 8x Opteron boxes generate lots of heat, and thus keep the Pizza warm.
<evilAdmin> I'm like "Don't Oppies have PowerNow or some AMD cooler shit?", and he's like "Yeah, but we run SETI/Prime95 to keep the pizza hot".
<evilAdmin> :\
#310172 (202/220) ⚐Flag
<Bike> i'm ten pages in to an ethernet-phy manual and i'm pretty sure the internet is impossible
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