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#311097 (112/126) ⚐Flag
<photo> i poured my root beer into a square cup and now all i have is beer. please advise.
#303649 (37/57) ⚐Flag
<Camille> I love my new job
<+ericc> where d'you work?
<Camille> it's a small coffee shop. doesn't pay much, but nearly everyone there is a gamer or irc'er.
<+ericc> nice
<Camille> yeah, we got busy around 1pm and it was loud cos of people chatting
<Camille> so one of the guys there shouted out "now I know how those marines feel when I hit them with a zerg rush"
<+ericc> hahaha awesome
<Camille> the manager heard him and frowned, I thought he was gonna yell at him for talking like that in front of customers
<Camille> and he just replied "man the bunkers and bring out the siege tanks!"
#305561 (21/37) ⚐Flag
<xved> proteins are the most important thing that lets complex cellular things work
<xved> and there are so many and they all can do different interesting things...
<@Rorschach> Can they dance?
<xved> certainly
<xved> some of them can zip DNA too
<xved> where would DNA be without proteins? its fly would be undone!
<@Rorschach> Yes, one needs to keep one's genes zipped
#309461 (41/67) ⚐Flag
* strcat just has to figure out how to integrate it into the build process :)
<cmr> good luck
<cmr> those makefiles look like small animals could get lost and die in them
#307007 (39/75) ⚐Flag
< Neoinr> Bust a move
< Bucket> mo  ve
#308504 (22/42) ⚐Flag
<@Pants> Hey Grue, so I figured out what was wrong with my chainsaw
<@Grue> Ja?
<@Pants> It turns out it has an on/off switch.
<@Grue> `lart Pants
BrainBleach brings in Charles Darwin and the Chainsaw of Natural Selection to have a go at Pants
<@Grue> More apropos, BrainBleach cannot become.
#310643 (4/12) ⚐Flag
<dylan> i just got an amazing idea
<dylan> make a tea that is healthy for you
<dylan> call it Vitamin T
<dylan> get it?
<feti> This is going to be a slow day.
Comment: EFnet/#php
#7174 (168/312) ⚐Flag
<Latino-Heat> my mum wants me to get a piercing or a tattoo to make me look meaner
#310881 (42/64) ⚐Flag
<StoneCyp1erAW> dude i just met a fourth person named chance.
<StoneCyp1erAW> WHAT ARE THE CHANCES
#303819* (?/51) ⚐Flag
<Knifa> guys i wanna take my tab of acid now
<p> get on top of a very tall building
<p> and take the LSD
<AforAnonymous> why are you trying to kill Knifa
<AforAnonymous> I do not approve of that.
<p> knifa is smart enough not to follow my advice
<p> Knifa
<p> are you smart enough to know not to take LSD on the top of a very tall building
<Knifa> i'm already on the roof
#9928 (165/332) ⚐Flag
<SlemJack> diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock.
#311377* (?/7) ⚐Flag
<@DigDug> so hypospeaking, lets say you accidebtally type your pw into the $ prompt
<@DigDug> rm bash_history
<@DigDug> passwd
<@DigDug> asking for a friend
#295170 (65/101) ⚐Flag
<crazy_pete> wanna hear a funny story about some laotian immigrants in a building where i lived?
<JordiGH> Yes?
<JordiGH> I do hope it's funny.
<[o> I doubt it
<[o> but ok
<crazy_pete> the laotian immigrants have their rent paid by the US government and move into this apartment building
<crazy_pete> they are totally enchanted by the electric stove
<crazy_pete> they speak NO english but by using sign language the apartment manager ( a friend of mine ) tries to exaplain the stove to them
<crazy_pete> shows how to open the oven doors, how to put a pot on the top burner to boil water, etc
<crazy_pete> an hour later every smoke alarm goes off on that side of the building :)
<crazy_pete> my friend goes in and the apartment is filled with burning plastic smoke
<crazy_pete> the laotians are sitting on the couch very stoically, as if all americans must put up with this, they will not mind a little smoke themselves
<crazy_pete> turns out they did not completely understand the electric stove
<crazy_pete> after my friend left, they went outside and gathered up little sticks and bits of paper
<crazy_pete> and built a FIRE in the OVEN to cook on the burners!
#297690 (16/22) ⚐Flag
<@DigDug> things a man can watch forever
<@DigDug> fire burning
<@DigDug> water flowing
<@DigDug> tail -f access.log
#311122 (46/72) ⚐Flag
<Kit> Is anyone around who has my nude pics who can forward them to someone?
#307670 (70/104) ⚐Flag
< Novice> It's not a computer anymore. It's a member of Norton's botnet.
#310890 (47/67) ⚐Flag
<Odthin> dammit i just came out of the closet as a grammar nazi
<milaga> they are a little more fun than the grammar marxists
<Odthin> grammar marxist, do they try to share grammatical mistakes with the whole community
<milaga> but not nearly as fun as the grammar maoists
<milaga> who just say lmao whenever you try to correct them
#310731 (17/75) ⚐Flag
<asaph> So you're over a year and a half into your transition?
<Zyradyl> Yup.
<cjk> Okay so since you've been on both hormonal sides, is there any major difference between the two
<Zyradyl> 89.9% of the time no, except I do have to deal with some unwanted attention, which probably contributes to the 10.1% of the time.
<cjk> whats that
<Zyradyl> Well. Okay. If you had asked me what 2+2 equaled on a bad day where I was testosterone heavy, You would have gotten a "Four, You fucking muppet" and at the absolute worst, a punch in the face.
<Zyradyl> Do the same thing to me now, and I'm going to spend 30 minutes reducing you to feeling absolutely worthless, then say "Four you fucking muppet" and slap you.
<asaph> Holy shit.
<Zyradyl> I don't want to hit people as much. However, I want to make them cry so much more than before. Which i guess means 2+2 equals four, and a whole bunch of unresolved emotional issues.
#311401* (?/3) ⚐Flag
Optical Disc: My little brother recently got grounded from video games
Optical Disc: He had no clue what else to do so I suggested he play outside
Optical Disc: So he went and just stood there for a while
Optical Disc: And now he's hitting a rock with a stick
Optical Disc: I asked if he's having fun and he said "I don't know"
#296704 (169/367) ⚐Flag
<JasonDM> finally
<JasonDM> the new realtek audio drivers have an option to disable the auto-detection crap
<DominoEffect> took them long enough
<JasonDM> no more stupid notifications that I plugged/unplugged my headphones, yay
<JasonDM> especially when they're still plugged in and I didn't do anything with them
<DominoEffect> "HEY YOU JUST PLUGGED SHIT IN" "...thanks." "NP DUDE"
<DominoEffect> the little two tone windows noise is enough to let me know it's plugged in all the way
<JasonDM> "HEY YOU JUST UNPLUGGED SHIT" "No...I didn't..." "HEY YOU JUST PLUGGED SHIT IN" "NO!"
#17193 (140/273) ⚐Flag
<dodge> oh shit, i got icecream on my keyboard
<dodge> shit, now chocolate
<dodge> i should clean it instead of mashing it under the keys
#8102 (1716/2380) ⚐Flag
<glome> Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?!
<content> glome stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
<glome> Who me?!
<content> Yes you!
<glome> Couldn't be!
<content> Then WHO?!!
<glome> Woody stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
*** glome has been kicked by DrWoody (fuck you i didn't touch the motherfucking cookie, bitch)
#68951 (167/427) ⚐Flag
<@semi> man
<@semi> i think i should turn my speakers down
<@zeppeh> or quit listening to nsync
<@semi> i cant tell if its gas from downing that soda or just the bass.
<@zeppeh> nsync doesn't have bass
<@semi> it has lance bass
<@semi> i mean
<@semi> fuck you.
Comment: #brained irc.catheadlabs.com. also, I wasn't listening to nsync.
#41154 (192/344) ⚐Flag
<BoomBaBa> Meanie, sorry but I am not a fat 16 year old whose diet consists of pizza and hot pockets
<BluMeanie> I hate pizza
<BluMeanie> and we don't have hot pockets in canada
<mkart64> BluMeanie: why didn't you deny the fat part first
<BluMeanie> mkart, cause the food caught my attention
#11111 (4/205) ⚐Flag
(Pixie_Pete): Care to join me in a little sven co-op?
* ssmmdd fires up Sven
(Dogsdinner): That's quite possibly the most homoerotic thing ever said in #TPNGC.
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