QDB: Today's Popular Quotes
About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search

#309850 (486/512) ⚐Flag
<bbitmaster> bah, this is the dumbest thing ever. I broke linux mint over the silliest thing, and I am quite pissed.
<bbitmaster> The bottom panel was too small. I was adjusting it to be more manageable. I accidentally right clicked on the "+" in the dialog that makes it larger.
<bbitmaster> right clicking causes it to go to max size. It now fills the screen and I can't go to any other window or menu or anything. I restarted and it kept that setting.
* 1 hour later
<bbitmaster> I joined the linux mint help channel, the guy there helping me suddenly left
<bbitmaster> he came back and said he was stupid enough to "recreate my problem"
<bbitmaster> and now he's in the same boat
#78919 (4857/5273) ⚐Flag
*** SpannerGO0 was kicked by sam88 (don't be a douche)
<BicThes> he was talking to me i think
<sam88> whoops
#300794 (2695/2969) ⚐Flag
<Nub> Can someone explain to me how cells divide?
<K4rli> o
<K4rli> 0
<K4rli> 8
<K4rli> oo
#150311 (1212/1354) ⚐Flag
l70uke: network connections says it cant find an IP address
dbbolton: open a web browser and type in the address bar
dbbolton: what happens
l70uke: "please enter disk into drive a"
dbbolton: what the FUCK
#90232 (2938/3396) ⚐Flag
<john1> hey how do i send a pm? :)
<john1> guys?
<quit> put a / before target's name then your message
*** john1 has quit IRC (like this? :))
<Karg> ...Oh man.
<Karg> That was almost too perfect.
#300697 (992/1160) ⚐Flag
<Green> So I got in my car
<Green> and there was birdshit on my windsheild
<Green> so i got a paper towel and got out to wipe it off
<Green> but it wouldn't come off
<Green> and thats when I realized it was on the INSIDE
<Green> I had a hard time getting to sleep that night
#297775 (1467/1731) ⚐Flag
<Pryoidain> Did I tell you guys my cop story?
<asaph> No, Pry.
<Pryoidain> Okay so..
<Pryoidain> I get hungry one day, and I tell my mom I'm heading out.
<Pryoidain> She tells me to pick up a watermelon from the farmer's market while i'm out.
<Pryoidain> So I do, and I notice the KFC across the street is open.
<Pryoidain> Being someone who pays very close attention to gas usage, I make the logical choice and get some KFC.
<cjk> ...oh boy...
<Pryoidain> Yep. I turn down king and flip the radio dial, and during my fumbling I speed up to 55.
<Pryoidain> King is a 45.
<Pryoidain> so I fly by this cop, who promptly pulls me over.
<Pryoidain> The cop...is BLACK.
<Pryoidain> He walks up to the window, and asks the question.
<Pryoidain> "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
<Pryoidain> I just...leaned back so he could see the watermelon and the fried chicken in the passenger seat.
<Pryoidain> the cop damn near pissed himself laughing. He laughed for a solid five minutes.
<Pryoidain> I then...got off...WITHOUT A TICKET.
#32506 (731/861) ⚐Flag
<baryon> brb. I need a shower again, I stink
<emo> baryon: remember my advice
<baryon> god you're still here
<emo> you can significantly reduce the sourness of your body odour by refraining from meat eating
<cl4SS> emo fuck up about it. I'm sick of hearing your shit
<emo> I'm just saying
<baryon> emo, that's got nothing to do with it
<emo> baryon: it does actually. Several studies have shown so
<baryon> emo. I helped move four horses today. I am covered in dirt, dust and horse shit
#307376 (269/317) ⚐Flag
<Drakar> I am just so confused
<Drakar> What do I feel
<Drakar> but maybe that's what I want
<Drakar> I want to be confused with her.
<Rahid> I'd advise to wait untill you stabilize.
<Rahid> Cause
<Rahid> Do you know what happens to pokemon when they try to attack while they are in confusion?
<Rahid> They hurt themselves, bro. They hurt themselves
#85719 (862/966) ⚐Flag
< Alkivar> we're on our way back from partying in NYC over the weekend ... it was like sunday afternoon we're headed back west
< Alkivar> we're cruisin... maybe 130-140mph
< Alkivar> flew past a trooper on the side of the road
< Alkivar> trooper lights up ... siren blasting ... chasing us down the highway
< Alkivar> we're both like should we stop ... there's no way he can catch up to us
< Alkivar> we decided to be good and stop
< Alkivar> cop catches up to us ... comes out gun drawn ... pissed as hell
< Alkivar> walks up to the side of the car and goes
< Alkivar> Jason pulls out his fucking pilot's license
< Alkivar> cop's jaw hits the fucking ground
< Alkivar> most stunned face I've ever fucking seen
< Alkivar> in this practically a whimper goes "get the fuck out of here"
< Alkivar> no ticket... too embarassed apparently
< Alkivar> I'll never forget that day long as I live
< Alkivar> I was sure we were goin to jail
#61349 (8050/10070) ⚐Flag
<SenioR> whahahah fravec! I fucked your mother!!
<@Fravec> Dad, buzz off, I'm talking to friends here...
Comment: never teach your dad how to use IRC
#310576 (55/59) ⚐Flag
<@kitchen> I logged into yahoo account after probably 100 years of not. got email "unexpected login attempt" even yahoo wasn't expecting me to ever log in again
#309185 (171/179) ⚐Flag
<lucky> i got into it with an asphalt contractor at work and then had his truck towed for being in a handicapped space.
<SatNiGHTS> did you shout at him "MENTAL HANDICAPS DON'T COUNT!"?
<lucky> the best part? the lines are barely visible because HE didn't paint them as he was hired to do last summer. so he didn't see them.
<lucky> he came storming in, scared my paraschiz resident (poor guy), and demanded he be "payed what he was owed for his time in August". i told him that according to our records, he was paid exactly what he was owed - in that, he was paid for what he did, not what the original contract said. He never re-striped the lot or sealed the south end of the cul de sac.
<lucky> he wouldn't shut up.  i asked him to leave. he didn't. i told him to leave. he didn't. i made his truck leave without him while he was making an irate phone call.
<myself> did he see it in mid-tow, or only after it was gone?
<lucky> mid tow. told him they regularly monitor the handicapped spaces, it is after all a senior community. his reply : "YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE THE FUCKING SYMBOL!!!!" my reply: "my point exactly."
#308836 (60/66) ⚐Flag
<aydiosmio> I don't anticipate the world moving away from keyboards any time soon for the sake of productivity
<nydel> aydiosmio: i think the world will split into people who use touch-screens & people who have shit to do
Comment: #2600 on irc.2600.net
#311162 (60/68) ⚐Flag
<VesicantDerp> Is there a name for selling your blood plasma, then using that money to get super fucked up on a normal amount of booze while you're low on blood?
<SpaceMarine> no
<SpaceMarine> but there really should be
#311000 (94/112) ⚐Flag
<Pen Straw> the earth is actually flat but it rotates like a doom sprite when anyone tries to look at a different angle
#871 (59/378) ⚐Flag
<AlmtyBob> I think there are more christians than bullets
<AlmtyBob> sucks
#309529 (21/33) ⚐Flag
<oohy9n> I moved a server from one data center to another, and some guy updated wordpress, after which some of his image hyperlinks got broken
<oohy9n> he emailed me and was like "When you moved, did you by any chance forget the images in the moving van?"
#310609 (1/37) ⚐Flag
* Jigsy frantically runs into the channel with an urgent message.
<Jigsy> The anorgasmic are comin- wait, wait, sorry, false alarm. They're not.
#310732 (47/53) ⚐Flag
<camel> > Do you have a full-time job? > No > We're sorry, you do not qualify for this survey.
<camel> Why the fuck would I be doing a $2 30 minute survey
<camel> if I had a full time job
#310654 (17/47) ⚐Flag
<Jigsy^Vol> My favorite episode of Star Wars was when Kirk got assimilated by the Darleks.
#283502 (724/850) ⚐Flag
< Laura> I used to have a preserved human penis in a jar.
< Laura> It was lost in a move.
< Laura> This made me sad until someone pointed out that that means that SOMEONE moved into a house and found a human penis in a jar.
< Laura> This makes me feel better.
#307245 (19/59) ⚐Flag
<Lastair> japanese cosmo
<Lastair> 10 hot sex tips!
<Lastair> tips 1-10: whimper like you're being raped
#33813 (76/304) ⚐Flag
<motolov> why arent the fat girls honest at least
<motolov> like, hobbies: eating, stuffing my face until my colon hurts
<motolov> etc.
#33294 (9/285) ⚐Flag
<jessie> I'm going to put on my skimpiest maternity outfit and go bar hopping.Comment: #fark on irc.irvingnet.net
About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search
14,531 quotes approved; 9,616 fermenting; karma: 191.2600