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#304213 (78/172) ⚐Flag
Welcome to Mormon.org chat.
A representative will be with you shortly.
Agent [stephanie] is ready to assist you.
User: Hi. Stephanie?
stephanie: Hello
stephanie: What brings you to Mormon.org?
User: Well I'm christian reformed but a lot of my friends are mormon
User: and I've been having trouble with my family but they never do
User: Would converting help my family life?
User: Is there much of a difference between christian and mormon?
stephanie: Mormons are Christian
User: I thought they were amphibians
The chat session has ended.
#13813 (287/463) ⚐Flag
<Leo-chan> I have a large warehouse full of large weapons of mass destruction
<webrunner> Destroying mass is against the laws of thermodynamics!
<Leo-chan> screw the laws of thermodynamics!
* Leo-chan pulls out a perpetual motion machine
* webrunner stops the machine
* webrunner holds out a "Thermodynamics Police" badge
#13753 (310/446) ⚐Flag
<Flirbnic> I have a time machine.
<Twilo> That's your fridge
<Flirbnic> Then explain how I can put perishable food items in there and take them out several days later STILL FRESH?
#14055 (406/539) ⚐Flag
<foobar> the FUNNIEST tech glitch ive ever heard of happened at my workplace
<foobar> ok.. so we run an internet storage service right?  and one of our clients is a large photo site that allows people to upload pics and view them online
<foobar> well.. our software had a little bug in it .. sometimes if a file is uploaded and not cached properly by the system, the system will deliver the same file for hundreds or thousands of different files
<foobar> so what happened is someone uploaded some bestiality pictures, and those got caught in the cache, so everbody uploading their 4th of july pics got them ALL replaced by the same picture of a girl jerking off a horse
<foobar> 50,000 times
#14045 (157/327) ⚐Flag
<Rosipam> (is glad she has AOL now)
<Rosipam> ^_^
...
<Zack`> Rosipam?
<Rosipam> Hello.
<Zack`> When did you get AOL?
<Rosipam> A few weeks ago.
<Zack`> What did you have before that?
<Rosipam> Microsoft Internet Explorer.
<Zack`> Ah
<Zack`> What do you like about AOL?
<Rosipam> It's faster.
<Zack`> Wow.
<Zack`> What was your old Internet connection?
*** Rosipam (quickchat@=RWNRPD119P.ipt.aol.com) Quit (Connection reset by peer)
#14014 (360/493) ⚐Flag
<Chelle> I'm gonna get something to eat - brb
<GreenDragon> If they had an eating contest Chelle would win.
<Slerte> Nah, I could eat her under the table any day.
<Slerte> err
#311634* (?/7) ⚐Flag
<&castalia> snek-sensei: i almost aborted myself
<&castalia> IRL no joke
<@snek-sensei> nice
<@snek-sensei> thats hardcore
<&castalia> i was born premature
<&castalia> umbilical cord got wrapped around my neck
<@snek-sensei> wow you tried to hang yourself while aborting yourself
<@snek-sensei> thats fucking metal dude
<&castalia> before i even entered this world i was already trying to kill myself
#310412 (35/55) ⚐Flag
* xobs is in China now, going back to Singapore tomorrow.
<@xobs> i forgot my keyboard in Singapore.  The one i got here in Shenzhen iss a special kind of awful.  IIt seems to olke to repeat keys randomly.  Makese logging in and putting in passwords a bit of a challenge.
<@xobs> Actually one of the thinigs I'll have  to oworrk on that's kinid of challenginig is wwhat to do on fiirst boot
<@xobs> Moost distroos set upu pthiingns like username, passworrd, timemzone,, etc.. durinig seteup.  WWe'll havev to odo that on first boot.
<@xobs> ...this is a areally, rreally bad keybooard.
Comment: #kosagi on OFTC
#306347 (34/60) ⚐Flag
<Symantic> Envious i need help.
<Symantic> I have a extra internal hard-drive space in my laptop. I'm only using one.
<Envious> Okay?
<Envious> fill it with peanut butter,
<Envious> then it won't be empty.
Comment: #computerhope on irc.mibbit.net
#303447 (43/75) ⚐Flag
< Broseidon> i've got a trial shift tomorrow \o/
< AdmiralGT> trial shift?
< Broseidon> yeah
< Broseidon> on a customer returns desk in ikea xD
< Extapathy> do you have to build the desk first?
#311395 (96/122) ⚐Flag
Xhiel: OH MY GOD
Xhiel: so these's an online company that make mini bricks for construction stuff
Xhiel: and there's a reddit thread where a poster said he once masturbated used a miniature brick anally
Xhiel: and it got stuck inside, so he had to literally shit a brick
Xhiel: so someone links the website that makes tiny bricks
Xhiel: and the owner notices all the traffic
Xhiel: and tracks the fucking thread down
Xhiel: AND POSTS A 30% DISCOUNT CODE
Xhiel: "MINIBRICKDILDO"
Xhiel: AND THE GOD DAMNED CODE WORKS
Xhiel: I can't right now
Xhiel: I have lost my ability to even
Xhiel: AND HIS COMMENT IS GUILDED
Xhiel: THAT'S IT
Xhiel: I"M DONE
#311601 (59/69) ⚐Flag
<Muad-Dib> I use IRC by carrier pigeon
<yipdw> I use it by boat
<yipdw> connection reset by pier
#311636* (?/16) ⚐Flag
<Anonymous> 4chan is a Jewish dating website.
<Anonymous2> u lied
<Anonymous> Yes, yes I did.
#311622* (?/18) ⚐Flag
<pikapika> Girlcocks are fucking amazing
<cheapie> THEN HAVE I GOT GREAT NEWS FOR YOU
<cheapie> *ahem*
#311623* (?/19) ⚐Flag
< brennyn> i once had to train a guy at work who i could not convince that 1 percent and 1 gallon are not "basically the same thing"
< brennyn> his explanaton was that milk comes in 2%
< brennyn> he wasn't trolling, he was actually stupid
< brennyn> he got fired less than a week later for pouring paint thinner into his eyes
<@snek-sensei> w-what
< brennyn> he was cleaning something that required lying down and crawling under the machine
< brennyn> he got to the part he needed to clean, held a cup of paint thinner above it, and poured directly into his face
< brennyn> because he forgot about gravity
<@snek-sensei> oh okay that makes sense
#311612* (?/13) ⚐Flag
caducity: I don't get juggling culture
agreeculture: probably better off that way
agreeculture: its basically just a progressive, creeping self hate
caducity: maybe I get juggling culture
#13973 (221/405) ⚐Flag
<Zack`> I wore my boxers backwards all day yesterday
<shea_> haha
<Zack`> And I didn't realize it until I scratched my ass
<Zack`> And my hand went through the slot and made contact with my crack
<Zack`> And I was like WTF
#301717 (1215/1487) ⚐Flag
<charl> hey navi, help. 9x - 7i > 3(3x-7u), for i
<navi> i <3 u
<navi> .. i'm going to kill you in your sleep
Comment: charl has a crush on navi. both are male, and navi is straight.
#32810 (328/478) ⚐Flag
<Kneecaps> anybody up for some key signing?
<Kneecaps> nobody about :(
<SlayerXP> key signing?
<SlayerXP> as in "hello complete stranger I met on IRC, please sign my GPG key so people will trust the key more."
<Kneecaps> yes
<Kneecaps> thats right
<SlayerXP>   .  <- the point            ->  your direction of travel
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