|
TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random123Next> |
#302018 (92/176) πOld
<@ rotor> a friend of mine had a parrot and it loved being pushed around on it's back
<@ rotor> it would make "vrrrm vrrmm" type truck noises when you did it
<@ rotor> it was pretty cool |
#301623 (115/183) πOld
<Stingray_> Update: the situation is grim, folks. The RIAA have brought soldiers and are attempting to break into our offices. We've holed ourselves up in the server room, but we don't know how much longer we can hold..
<Stingray_> DISREGARD THAT. THE RIAA IS GREAT. WE HAVE NO TROUBLE WITH THE RIAA. PLEASE CONTINUE TO BUY RIAA-APPROVED MUSIC THROUGH YOUR STANDARD RIAA-APPROVED RETAIL OUTLETS. |
#302250* (?/16) πOld
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: Feeling lucky?
Stranger: yea
You: WEll then... you've gotta ask yourself a question.
Stranger: ok
You: Does the person your talking to have a penis or a vagina?
You: So tell me... you feeling lucky?
You: Well... are ya?
Stranger: shit
Your conversational partner has disconnected. |
#302249* (?/14) πOld
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: heyyyy
You: hey there
Stranger: horney ass female
Stranger: wanna fuck?
You: hell yes
Stranger: how old?
You: 18
You: you?
Stranger: 17
Stranger: so, be gentle with me - im just a little girl - but what r u gonna do to me...?
Stranger: ;)
You: Fuck your brains out
Stranger: im sitting in front of you with nothing on but a peice on langerie - what do u do?
You: I grab your breasts, squeezing them and playing with the nipple with my fingers
Stranger: hm... that feels so good.......
You: I lean in and stick my dick into your vagina, moving back and forth into it
You: Groping your breasts at the same time
Stranger: oh god.....
Stranger: u feel sooooooooooooo good!!!
Stranger: fuck me harder!! let me be your little girl tonight!!
You: I take my dick out and then I make you go on your knees
You: I open your mouth up and stick my dick in it
You: Sliding it in and out
Stranger: yes..... pound me!!
You: Suddenly, my penis erupts into flames, spewing flaming sperm everywhere!
You: You're lit on fire, screaming as I grab a fire extinguisher
You: I spray it on you to try and put it out
You: but it grows larger
You: You start to bleed from your face and cry out streams of blood
You: I call the police, but I'm put on hold
You: Suddenly, I realize you're nothing but a dream
You: A sick, evil, demonic, Mexican dream
You: ~Jules. B Shakespeare
You: Good day sir
Stranger: um..................
Stranger: what?
Your conversational partner has disconnected. |
#302232* (?/50) πOld
<Crisco> I have CDO
<Crisco> it's OCD but with the letters alphabetical like it should be |
|
Got a question? Try the FAQ
|
#302079 (399/445) πOld
<+Toujiron> Probably best day.
<%Misty> What happened?
<+Toujiron> I have this felt super mushroom hat, right?
<+Toujiron> I wore it out today because I'm ridiculous
<+Doak> awesome
<+Toujiron> My roommate left his work boots at home and called me to ask me to bring them to him at work, because he wouldn't have time after class.
<+Toujiron> So on my way there, I go through an intersection I usually don't because I don't have a reason to go near there, and the setting sun is in my eyes, so I have no idea that there's a stop sign there.
<+Toujiron> I am immediately pulled over by a city patrol car.
<+Toujiron> The cop walks up to my window, looks at me, my hat, and listens to my speakers for a second which are playing a rainbow road remix.
<%Misty> Please tell me he broke down laughing
<+Toujiron> Without even asking me for my ID, he leans in and says, "Son, when there's a stop sign in front of you, you have to stop hitting the golden mushroom. I know it'll disappear, but it's the law, alright?"
<%Misty> Oh that's even better
<+Toujiron> Before I could even answer that he told me to drive safe and walked away.
<+Neo-Kamek> lolololol
<+Toujiron> I have never been so entertained to be caught breaking laws.
<+Doak> Best.
<+WingedBeaux> my wife just loled at that story tou
<+WingedBeaux> is there an opposite to f my life? cause that would be it right there |
#302245* (?/18) πOld
<chris> nooooo my dell keyboard just lost its f key
<chris> uuuuuuuuck |
#302228* (?/53) πOld
<@heels> i wanna be a hooker
<Doomstalk> heels: You're already a whore in your own way
<Cuzza> heels: you're already a whore
<Cuzza> ^5 Doomstalk
<Doomstalk> ^5 Cuzza
<Cuzza> ...
<Cuzza> GET OUT OF MY HEAD
<Doomstalk> GET OUT OF MY HEAD CHARLES
<Cuzza> WHAT THE FUCK MAN |
#302222* (?/46) πOld
<Joshua> i should go to his house
<Joshua> and break his nose
<Taerom> Joshua: or... not.
<Joshua> but the gas aint worth it
<Joshua> besides
<Joshua> i might hurt my pretty girl hands
<Joshua> quote me and die
* Jigsy closes the quote file.
* ceil closes the bash and qdb tabs |
#302246* (?/13) πOld
<Fax> Yukio: did I tell you about my mutant power?
<Yukio> Fax: is it the ability to determine bra size with a single glance?
<Fax> where I can tell a woman's cup/bust size wi-...
<Fax> ...
<Fax> you take all the fun out of everything ever :C |
#302242* (?/23) πOld
<tgies> http://qdb.us/101461
<tgies> if you did this irl a multitude of sunglasses would fucking appear on your face and fall all over the place in just a big heap
<tgies> and you would get a fucking special driver's license that entitles you to free chicken wings at any DMV office and the secret menu at arby's
<flamingspinach2> PlaceAtPC common_glasses_01 500
<G-Flex> no
<tgies> no
<G-Flex> don't
<G-Flex> spawnmass hkhangingpig 150
<flamingspinach2> what's that, deus ex?
<G-Flex> yeah
<G-Flex> yours was morrowind, right?
<flamingspinach2> yeah
<tgies> you guys are fucking nerdsComment: #animutation on wgiowrb.dyndns.org
|
#302239* (?/27) πOld
<bofh> how did little endian come about anyway?
<tgies> ok you know about the original sin right
<bofh> like big endian seems fairly obvious as it's how we typically read numbers, and it was also used by the TCP/IP spec
<bofh> as in the trig function?
<tgies> no the biblical original sin
<tgies> god showed up
<tgies> and he was like
<tgies> ok, since you guys are dillholes and dont know how to fucking listen
<tgies> from now on you have to work for your food
<tgies> childbirth will be painful
<tgies> and you'll have to work with this fucking stupid god damn system for representing numbers where the least significant byte comes firstComment: wgiowrb.dyndns.org #animutation
|
#302229* (?/44) πOld
<OnoSendai> I like my bitches the way I like my toast.
<dawson> black?
<GNUtella> Brown?
<dawson> crispy?
<Rockmaaaan> ...buttered?? |
#300988 (1330/1380) πOld
<massacre> Rosti, can I ask you something as a close friend?
<Rosti_LFC> you could ask me something as a complete stranger, but go ahead
<massacre> Do you reckon Emma would go out with me if I asked her?
<Rosti_LFC> errr....
<Rosti_LFC> ask her yourself?
<massacre> no fucking way until I get a second opinion
<Daz> dude she's in the channel
<massacre> no she isn't
<Rosti_LFC> yeah she is mate, look up
<Rosti_LFC> she got op'd yesterday
<massacre> fuck
<massacre> PLAN B
<massacre> spam the channel
<massacre> with text
<massacre> so it goes
<Audia> hi
<massacre> off her scrollback
<Rosti_LFC> ahaha
<massacre> FUCK
* massacre has quit (PLAN C!!!)
<Audia> I'm going to go install Windows 7 right now
<Audia> so I'll be offline for a bit
<Audia> if he gets the balls to come back in here in the meantime tell him the answer is yes
<Rosti_LFC> rofl
* Audia has quit (QUIT)
<Rosti_LFC> that was some hardcore nerd courtship ritual right there
<Daz> Oh man, I wish I could fuck up asking a girl out that badly and still succeed |
#300794 (1210/1264) πOld
<Nub> Can someone explain to me how cells divide?
<K4rli> o
<K4rli> 0
<K4rli> 8
<K4rli> oo |
|
The Preferences page allows you to disable these links and much more!
|
#302244* (?/14) πOld
[15:59] pagan_welder: i live in a place where there is mostly blacks and hispanic
[15:59] Rik[sleep]: kfc? |
#301950 (177/243) πOld
PartyGirl1450981: I set VLC to always look for subtitle files and use them for the corresponding videos
PartyGirl1450981: and I set it to always use the english subs for Damnatus
PartyGirl1450981: so the bob ross video I'm watching is slightly grim dark
PartyGirl1450981: hes talking about a beautiful blue color to start off with
PartyGirl1450981: and the subs are talking about how the universe has devolved into a hell of eternal war
PartyGirl1450981: I muted it for extra lols
PartyGirl1450981: and he's painting a cloud into the sky
PartyGirl1450981: "HUMANITY HAS NO ALTERNATIVE" |
#302236* (?/19) πOld
<Mike_Wx> i had a battery operated reel mower when i was a kid. death on wheels, damn that thing was fun
<Mike_Wx> it was a standard reel push mower but the blades turned via a big-ass electric motor mounted on the top of it
<Mike_Wx> can you say "removed from market for safety reasons"
<pthree> it fired lawn-darts and could only make left turns
<pthree> we think the market wasn't mature enough for the product
<Mike_Wx> heh pretty much, it was awesome though :)
<pthree> we'll add lasers and bring it out during the next war
<pilot518> yeah. lawn darts
<pilot518> that was just clever toss this big ass metal dart into the air and don't get hurt
<Mike_Wx> they're coming back this spring i've heard
<Mike_Wx> they have somehow made them safer
<pilot518> nerf?
<Mike_Wx> i dunno, i just heard on the radio they were making a comeback
<pilot518> interesting
<Mike_Wx> i like the idea. weed out the stupid kids. darwinish at work.
<pilot518> heh
<Mike_Wx> right up there with slip-n-slide
<pilot518> heh, I never liked those
<Mike_Wx> me either
<Mike_Wx> our yard was too lumpy~
<pthree> i preferred to slip and slide holding a lawn dart |
#302234* (?/35) πOld
<Freenode> sandbags has left IRC (Excess Flood) |
#197259 (1114/1224) πOld
datagram: Hey
janelle: im janelles sister, im 16
janelle: she's away
datagram: Well hello there
datagram: Are you young and impressionable?
janelle: she warned me about you already |
#302220* (?/34) πOld
<braingrind> ana: see i rock a tie
<braingrind> i have to fight women off
<Mr__T> you don't have to
<Mr__T> you just enjoy punching women in the face |
#200837 (138/200) πOld
<Pappy-R> To those that asked about it yesterday, I just got my call from my doctor and I passed my last round of tests. I am GOOD TO FLY!
<TaisiN> so the feather grafts took hold? |
#32597 (150/278) πOld
<slinter^movie> do u have a good porn site?
<Deviant`> i just use a mirror |
#302251* (?/5) πOld
=-= B-Rad has changed the topic to B-Rad beat out numourous asians to get into a math competition. Worship his brains.
=-= peppercat has changed the topic to B-Rad beat out numerous asians to get into a math competition. Worship his brains. (pepper fixed his spelling though)
=-= B-Rad has changed the topic to B-Rad beat out numerous asians to get into a math competition. Worship his brains. (pepper fixed his spelling though) [he's failing engliish for a reason]
=-= B-Rad has changed the topic to shit |
#302252* (?/8) πOld
<Goose> Say alpha-Kenny-body out loud.
<Demii> GENIUS. |
|
Lyndon B Comic: A tri-monthly comic of the deathly important
|