QDB: Today's Popular Quotes
About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search

TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random
#303942 (-9/229) ⚐Flag
<fivre> Hello ladies. Look at your code.
<fivre> . return Iterables.filter(
<fivre> . . . . employees,
<fivre> . . . . new Predicate<Employee>() {
<fivre> . . . . . . public boolean apply(Employee e) {
<fivre> . . . . . . . . return e.isPartTime();
<fivre> . . . . . . }
<fivre> . . . . });
<fivre> Now look at mine.
<fivre> . return Iterables.filter(employees, {Employee e -> e.isPartTime()});
<fivre> Now back at your code.
<fivre> . return Iterables.filter(
<fivre> . . . . employees,
<fivre> . . . . new Predicate<Employee>() {
<fivre> . . . . . . public boolean apply(Employee e) {
<fivre> . . . . . . . . return e.isPartTime();
<fivre> . . . . . . }
<fivre> . . . . });
<fivre> Now back to mine.
<fivre> . return Iterables.filter(employees, {Employee e -> e.isPartTime()});
<fivre> Sadly, it isn't mine.
<fivre> But when it stops using inner-class-scented Java and switches to JDK 7, it could smell like mine.
<fivre> Look down. Back up. Where are you? You're in an IDE, with the code your code could smell like. What's in your hand? Back at me. I have it. It's a lambda expression, with two arguments of that type you love.
<fivre> Look again: the lambda is now a method reference!
<fivre> . return Iterables.filter(employees, Employee#isPartTime);
<fivre> Anything is possible when your code smells like fresh new JDK 7 hotness and not inner classes. I'm on a horse.
#309063 (-11/135) ⚐Flag
< munin> my brother in law sent my wife and i an e-mail telling us there was an iron golem on the roof and not to provoke it
< munin> i thought he was doing lsd for a few minutes until i remembered he was talking about our minecraft house
#309822 (-93/157) ⚐Flag
< wushin> I just think client-facing it's like slapping someone in the face with a paper bag full of poo
< Fother> How so?
< wushin> idk, I just use graphic analogies
#310126 (-68/162) ⚐Flag
<schuko> i've had my share with C working with embedded software
<schuko> it's like star wars
<schuko> you shave off a few bytes and then there's a new hope
<schuko> then you run the test suite and the empire strikes back
Comment: #/g/sicp on Rizon
#188054 (-21/129) ⚐Flag
<amorph> whats your girlfriends ass got in common with a 9V battery?
<amorph> you know its wrong, but sooner or later youre gonna put your tongue on it :D
#311395 (63/79) ⚐Flag
Xhiel: OH MY GOD
Xhiel: so these's an online company that make mini bricks for construction stuff
Xhiel: and there's a reddit thread where a poster said he once masturbated used a miniature brick anally
Xhiel: and it got stuck inside, so he had to literally shit a brick
Xhiel: so someone links the website that makes tiny bricks
Xhiel: and the owner notices all the traffic
Xhiel: and tracks the fucking thread down
Xhiel: AND POSTS A 30% DISCOUNT CODE
Xhiel: "MINIBRICKDILDO"
Xhiel: AND THE GOD DAMNED CODE WORKS
Xhiel: I can't right now
Xhiel: I have lost my ability to even
Xhiel: AND HIS COMMENT IS GUILDED
Xhiel: THAT'S IT
Xhiel: I"M DONE
#310733 (-57/93) ⚐Flag
<poofs> unlike other therapists, she is smart enough to know that you cannot take the UPS approach to therapy and handle fragile items by throwing them down the stairs
#310741 (-18/104) ⚐Flag
Bruno: Brogue is a fun little roguelike
Bruno: It's like a roguelike with everything superfluous stripped out
Wizard Lachesis: so basically a title screen and then you press enter and it goes directly to the "you're dead" screen
#310729 (-80/128) ⚐Flag
< wushin> I'm freaking out.
< MadCamel> Why?
< wushin> I accidentally sold a theater to my neighborhood and they are buying it.
#311509 (-132/244) ⚐Flag
<Dr_pressure> Church is like book club except the book never changes and only one person gets to speak
#188760 (-47/105) ⚐Flag
kennygprs: the feet on one side of my tower are missing so its a gangster leanin' tower
#185748 (-12/60) ⚐Flag
<Dude-O> Jesus should have a facebook and a Myspace. And his myspace isn't cluttered with shitty animated gifs, flash, and other crap that makes other people's computers melt.
#297065 (70/122) ⚐Flag
Josh: it's amazing that people don't simply think "apostrophe's replace missing letters in a contraction" and use them correctly
Mike: ...please tell me that was intentional and sarcastic
Mike: because otherwise it's going in quotes.txt. and nothing ever gets removed from quotes.txt
#303986 (131/157) ⚐Flag
<Sebas> Speaking of terrible and complaining, I celebrated my first time on the wii in about a year and a half by heavily and painfully crushing my thumb between the wiimote and the couch.
<Digga> how does that even happen
<Sebas> Stupidly.
<Logopolis> You silly dutch.
<Sebas> I went "This bowling is too easy, I shall do it with my back towards the TV and my eyes closed and at a distance."
<Sebas> The rest, as they say, is history.
<Sebas> I did throw a strike though, further proving my initial point.
#304691 (145/187) ⚐Flag
<BunneH> i saw a urologist yesterday
<BunneH> er.. today, not yesterday
<BunneH> he had to use KY jelly to get his thumb into my prostate
<BunneH> well, i dunno if it was KY
<BunneH> may have been aknockoff
<BunneH> point is, i had a jelly-covered thumb in my anus
<BunneH> i felt like a donut
<BunneH> when he poked it he said "does this make you feel like you need to urinate?"
<BunneH> i almost said "no, but i feel like i need to shit a thumb"
<BunneH> luckily, i refrained, and just said "no"
#111830 (280/488) ⚐Flag
<tuxick> what annoys me a lot is idiot media crying "oil price up!! 80 dollars now!" instead of "dollar down! 1/80th barrel now!"
#6731 (116/278) ⚐Flag
<mynx> hahaha i had a construction worker holler at me today
<Wurzle> he said "YOU FUCKING HOMO GET AWAY FROM MY BUIDING SITE!"
#6727 (172/325) ⚐Flag
<k8_fan> I have this nightmare that I die suddenly...and everyone I know starts looking through my browser cache.
* Hogie-One has that same dream!
#6711 (149/321) ⚐Flag
* Racked recalls the past: my teacher said, "I have a 10-foot snake here"....to which I replied, "oh no you don't....snakes don't have feet!"
* GPF recalls saying something like that to a teacher and getting detention
#6704 (79/299) ⚐Flag
<Expresso> I don't play alot of first persons hooters
#6703 (227/388) ⚐Flag
<Dynamo> [Destiny's Child - Say My Name.mp3]-[4.34mb/4m 30s]
<Dynamo> [Pet Music - 04 - Warm Hugs.mp3]-[5.23mb/5m 26s]
<Dynamo> No one saw Destiny's Child, or Pet Music, aight?
<Dynamo> [Destiny's Child - Independent Woman Part 1.mp3]-[3.6mb/3m 44s]
<Dynamo> [Pet Music - 08 - Chasing Clouds.mp3]-[4.4mb/4m 35s]
<Dynamo> This PC must hate me.
#6701 (126/286) ⚐Flag
Chargon[HorsebackArchery] is now known as Sir_Chargon
<Eric> Horseback Archery.
<Eric> D00d, drive-by shooting. It's a sign of the times.
<Kataclysm> Yes, but  a ride-by shooting just doesn't have the same effect as a drive-by.
<Eric> Good point. ANYONE can kill a horse, but a car doesn't stagger when it's down.
<Kataclysm> That, and horses don't have tinted power windows either.
#6692 (221/393) ⚐Flag
* TT205 wants to build a SNOT-HIPPO!!!!
<TT205> *blink*
* TT205 wants to build a SNOW-HIPPO!!!!
#6690 (-3/263) ⚐Flag
<zork> man sun fsck scares me
<zork> EVERYTHING IS IN CAPS AND TRUNCATED
<zork> OR SALVAGED
<zork> WRONG IN SUPERBLK
<zork> etc etc
<phrog> U R SKRWD
<zork> BUY A NEW DRV NOW
<shodan> WRNG FREE BLK CNT IN SPRBLK DOOD LOL
<zork> L@@K R@RE ERROR, ROFL
#6674 (227/409) ⚐Flag
*** Now talking in #tZrhj26trDS4yurgrCNR4eyd
*** Topic is 'The Only Channel With A Name Created By Head-Butting The Keyboard'
About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search
14,773 quotes approved; 8,801 fermenting; karma: 189.3701