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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..358359360361362363364..596Next> |
#301396* (?/40) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Lava: Do you reckon Jesus' disciples called him JC?
Jaysee: They prolly called him AH for Adolf and you know the rest... |
#301398* (?/40) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Here is the thing about digital security, if it is digital in design, it can always be compromised. - Eric Everson, Mobile Security ExpertComment: Mobile Security
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#301415* (?/46) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Fetthojnn> can someone please download that picture, upload it on another picture host thingy and then post me the link?
<Fetthojnn> i have been banned from 4chan :|
<RBlaze> your life is complete, you may now commit sepuku
<Fetthojnn> nah. i just have to wait to february 1st |
#301416* (?/38) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<myself> I was thinking, if I could get spider genes, my snot would be useful, AND I wouldn't need kleenex, just a reel.. |
#301468* (?/28) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
=-= Omnifox was booted from #bvs-colbertnation by Discovery (Requested (Fax))
<Omnifox> lulz
-->| Omnifox (dragonsmog@Spiral.Kage.Dai.Gurren) has joined #bvs-colbertnationComment: o_o
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#301469* (?/26) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
tank: is there something im missing
hawk: go to step 3
hawk: usmt
hawk: the differences are all cosmetic
tank: ya i noticed that
hawk: dave said you were having trouble with the usmt in the new version of ghost
tank: naw i didnt even try it out yet
tank: we were having trouble imaging
hawk: killing me smalls
hawk: imaging?
tank: ya
hawk: like pushing an image
hawk: thats it
tank: yep
tank: its not going throuh
hawk: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
tank: ya
hawk: fail
tank: so whats the issue?
hawk: you fail
hawk: idk
tank: lol how
tank: bastard! lol
hawk: network gremlins
hawk: yeah network gremlins
hawk: or it could be the hobbit that runs the switch is depressed
hawk: which means we needs us a new hobbit
hawk: which involves shipping from the land before time
tank: heh
hawk: land before time could hook us up with a unicorn for the router
hawk: plus we need plutonium, thats gonna involve superman
hawk: and
hawk: you know
tank: hahaha
hawk: shipping from krypton |
#301470* (?/38) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<&geecee3> i was reading something the other week while scoffing a banana and as i was munching i came acoss a line of text that made me choke, a bananahas a certain isotope of sodium that emits positrons. and in the time it takes you to digest the average banana there will have been roughly 100,000 positrons anhialated inside you.
<Neofish> ahaha geec
<EddieWork> sweeeet
<EddieWork> geecee3, eh
<&geecee3> bananas give off antimatter electrons ed.
<&geecee3> positrons
<EddieWork> yeah
<EddieWork> i know
<EddieWork> so what
<EddieWork> youre a walking scottish warp core
<EddieWork> montgomery scott would be proud
<&geecee3> lol
<Neofish> lol!
<EddieWork> until he had to rebuild your dilithium matrix |
#301491* (?/42) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Vulpyra> real scientists do science with their pants down!
<Ngarewyrd> Real Scientists don't wear pants! real scientists go commando!
<Vulpyra> real scientists are too absent minded to remember pants
<Ngarewyrd> exactly!
<Vulpyra> or cut or comb their wild white hair
<Vulpyra> they basically wake up in their bed, already dressed in their lab coats, flykick the door down and fly into their lab on rocket boots screaming "YEEEEEEHAAAAW"
<Ngarewyrd> really? I thought it was "eureka!"
<Ngarewyrd> (which in latatien, means "hand me a towel!")
<Millzy> I thought that the first thing they did was put on their HEV suit then do tai chi with a crowbar in the morning
<Vulpyra> Then they talk excitedly so fast that no one can tell what they're saying and throw test tubes at each other and build giant death robots out of excess facial hair
<Ngarewyrd> GIANT HAIRY ROBOTS!!
<Tapeius> QUICK!
<Tapeius> GET THE LATEX!
<Vulpyra> Then the president calls them up and says "DR CHIMP, THE EVIL LORD _____ IS TRYING TO TAKE OVER MANHATTEN, HELP US DR CHIMP!"
<Vulpyra> But Dr. Chimp just stops and stares. A single tear rolls down his cheek. The sight of the president humbling his frantic mood.
<Vulpyra> The he farts and the world explodes.
<Vulpyra> And that basically, is the story of Aliens versus Predator 2 if it had a plot. |
#301497* (?/34) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+secrgb> i wonder, what is the difference between the chance of getting an answer from stephen fry on twitter and winning the lottery?Comment: #phractures
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#301498* (?/30) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<msBob> i gotta go vacuum
<Snet2> lmfao
<Snet2> sucky suck
<Snet2> 5$
<msBob> not that big a dealComment: lol
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#301503* (?/40) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<DrCrusher> I need an ifuck
<tgrrr> in so many ways.Comment: #issues on EFnet
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#301512* (?/28) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<~James> some people call it
<~James> GANJA
<~James> WUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUBWUB
James James@r0x0rmys0x0rz-D2146BCE.contextshift.net quit: ([Britannia.hackervoice.co.uk] Local kill by BC (No they don't.))
[Six hours later]
< James James@r0x0rmys0x0rz-D2146BCE.contextshift.net joined #dirt
< James> they bare do
<~SHAGGSTaRR> same people who use bare as a measurement
< James> my penis is 4 bares
<~muftak> u got bare penises bruvComment: #dirt
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#301530* (?/66) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<MugHellbuserb>check out this video of some angry ginger kid: {youtube link}
<thesinerd>lol, it looks like he has down syndrome
<Cloud203>He looks like a normal ginger kid to me
<RonSijm>You're both right! =D |
#301552* (?/46) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[EG] My pokemon card brings on the nerds to the yard and there like you wanna trade cards? damn right I wanna trade cards! |
#301608* (?/46) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
esmein: I was wondering what'd happen if I wrote "and my girlfriend is a php developer" in my cv
esmein: braindead consultants would call me all day long I bet
+Infinity: "My girlfriend is a php developer <fontsize 1> and gives great head & anal
+Infinity: Sorted :p
dist`: that would work to, tho i don't think she'd do much phping
esmein: she does do php
dist`: not if she offers great head and anal
+Infinity: She'd do more bend under the desk to plug stuff in work
dist`: at this point i'd love to know php so i could do one of those crappy coding jokes that ends up at bash |
#301613* (?/38) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
egbakaet847: but if none of the changes are made to the database, why rollback?
egbakaet847: maybe I'm retarded
egbakaet847: lol
cshmclovin: bc you either have to commit or rollback
cshmclovin: so like commit will make everything save
egbakaet847: why would you make a bunch of queries
egbakaet847: only to roll them back
egbakaet847: nonsensical to me
egbakaet847: lol
cshmclovin: if you're ringing someone up
cshmclovin: at a cash register
cshmclovin: and then they're like
cshmclovin: no, i don't wanna buy this shit
egbakaet847: fuck
egbakaet847: it
cshmclovin: and walk out
egbakaet847: they have to buy it
egbakaet847: fuckers |
#301615* (?/36) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Jenova266> Poking animals for x years, no wonder he finally gets killed by one.
<DARUDE> irony
<Infel> the anime just wanted to poke him for once
<Infel> I DID NOT JUST MAKE THAT TYPO
<Infel> fuck me |
#301638* (?/38) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<preciousRoy> OH GOD! I've already had too much to drink! Ubuntu is back on my netbook! |
#301639* (?/40) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@BobbyCarbn> robert.carbone@nsa.gov
<@BobbyCarbn> fuck
<preciousRoy> there's another one for porn.
<preciousRoy> the internet is for porn, the internet is for porn.
<@BobbyCarbn> see how that works out for you
<preciousRoy> I imagine it ending with "Son, you do not fuck with the NSA, the NSA fucks with you. Bend over." |
#301642* (?/24) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* CyberAssassin is now known as Cyb3rCh1k
<&Moonlit> something you're not telling us, CA?
<Patt> <.<
<preciousRoy> Moonlit, yes, he's tucking it under.
<&Moonlit> lol
<preciousRoy> goodbyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeee horses.
<&Moonlit> do not want.
<preciousRoy> Would ya fuck me? I'd fuck me.
<&Moonlit> I don't think I'd fuck you, no
<&Moonlit> nothing personal
<preciousRoy> sure. |
#301644* (?/46) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<SamTheFitty> Sure whats wrong with you car?
<Hoops> I believe it shudders and vibrates a bit when rear ending newer carsComment: Made me giggle on the outside
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#301670* (?/58) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<&JoeHazzers> 27 minutes to download a movie???? what is this, the dark ages?
* @CloverHun hands JoeHazzers his mace
* &JoeHazzers thought CloverHun was against pointless violence
<@CloverHun> I am against pointless violence but 27 minutes come onComment: #zomgwtfbbq @ irc.p2p-network.net
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#301673* (?/54) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Catalyst> charliety, I have a habit of not smiling
<Catalyst> Due to my teeth
<Catalyst> they're very... British.Comment: #zomgwtfbbq @ irc.p2p-network.net
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#301675* (?/62) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+slew> i thought when you said you'd have a thing for me
<+slew> you were talking pizzaComment: #zomgwtfbbq @ irc.p2p-network.net
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#301691* (?/32) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
omgsylviasaid: Dude. Peter Jackson is fucking skinny now.
omgsylviasaid: I didn't know.
omgsylviasaid: Apparently he's been skinny since king kong.
sitnstayffs: Yeah but they ended up paying a shitload of the budget for king kong on hiring special effect artists.
sitnstayffs: Because Peter was supposed to play king kong but he lost all that weight so he couldn't act the part. |
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