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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..356357358359360361362..596Next> |
#300458* (?/30) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
(8:46:08 PM) animepages11: the soviet union had a pretty good national athem
(8:46:21 PM) Canister Tech: mmmm
(8:46:24 PM) Canister Tech: u download the soundtrack or what?
(8:46:29 PM) animepages11: lol
(8:46:35 PM) animepages11: the sound track to the soviet union?
(8:46:39 PM) Canister Tech: yea
(8:46:40 PM) animepages11: i didn't know a country could have a sound track
(8:46:45 PM) Canister Tech: it does
(8:46:55 PM) Canister Tech: they have a song written by tupac in there
(8:46:58 PM) Canister Tech: good times
(8:47:01 PM) Canister Tech: great albumComment: o.o
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#300464* (?/36) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
11:03 < Meta> MidComMobile: Hey, I'm moving back to the coast
11:03 < Meta> I'm going to study
11:03 < Meta> And I'm going to start over
11:04 * ProfessorBacon removes his pants
11:04 < Samanth0r> Meta, GOOD FUCKING PLAN.
11:04 < Samanth0r> ProfessorBacon, BAD FUCKING PLAN. |
#300474* (?/44) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<+robpike> no more snuffling around to find out whether a method is private
< wcn> I don't miss typing private and public at all.
<+robpike> or worse, waiting 10 minutes to have the compiler tell you that
< wcn> shift is the new public.
<+robpike> niceComment: On the Go language
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#300493* (?/30) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
mazterofpupet z: yo bring your cards
mazterofpupet z: we can have side games of magic
mazterofpupet z: and try to repel women further away from the house than previously
floppie7th: we'll have to see if we can drive renee out permanently so you me and jeff can move in
mazterofpupet z: i figure if she just sees me balls deep into chris and you fisting jeff's asshole while chris is blowing jeff... that will work
floppie7th: that should get it done
floppie7th: but the logistics of that could be tough
floppie7th: I'm not sure how chris is going to blow jeff while jeff's in a position whereby I can fist his asshole
mazterofpupet z: jeff is nimble
floppie7th: then yeah we should be good |
#300505* (?/58) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Terror Van, Ham Affectionado: I feel like watching some japanese Godzilla movies
Terror Van, Ham Affectionado: But I don't know where to start
Torlon: Godzilla would be agood place to start |
#300507* (?/60) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Sebas> "What're you doing, Baldrick?" "I'm carving something on this bullet, sir." "What are you carving?" "I'm carving 'Baldrick," sir." "Why?" "Well, you know how they says that somewhere out there, there's a bullet with your name on it?" "...yeeeeesssss?" "Well, I figured, if I owns the bullet with my name on it, I'd never get hit by it."
<Pinky`> lol
<Sebas> A bullet may have your name on it, but shrapnel is addressed "To whom it may concern."
<Pinky`> lol^2
<basstard> LOL TO THE POWER oF TWO
<Pinky`> LOL SQUARED!
<Sebas> LOL
<Sebas> OOO
<Sebas> LOL
<Sebas> Hmm, not squared so much as rectangled
<Sebas> L O L
<Sebas> O O O
<Sebas> L O L
<Sebas> More like it. |
#300513* (?/52) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Devan> all my girlfriends' names end with .jpg |
#300531* (?/34) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<StarShadow> one of the designs for the beijing olympic stadium was a giant vaginaComment: After someone linked to http://img505.imageshack.us/img505/7039/p1020607vc8.jpg
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#300568* (?/56) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Motley: unbelievable
Motley: I am an amazing writer
Motley: I have one of the lamest talents known to man
Motley: wow |
#300613* (?/22) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<BERSERKERRR> ]km[Pigp3n, have you tried studying?
<]km[Pigp3n> who does that
<]km[Pigp3n> got a 3.8 in hs , and never studied
<]OLD[Fraggie> what is studying?
<BERSERKERRR> Yes, but highschool is highschool???????????????????????????
<Essobie> I got a 3.88 in college and never studied.
<KrakensDen> what did you study?
<shame> Can all these baddies stfu
<Essobie> art. :\
<BERSERKERRR> +1Comment: #quakelive
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#300615* (?/38) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<JimmyJames> I want to work on that project so badly!
<JimmyJames> I would suck 3000 dicks to do that.
<JimmyJames> 3000!
<SamTheMighty> It would be like 300! Except no Gerard Butler, it's 10x more, and they're penises in your mouth.
<JimmyJames> So not like it at all then. |
#300630* (?/34) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
info: Please wait for a site operator to respond.
info: You are now chatting with 'Clement'
Clement: Welcome to ToonStorm.com! How may I help you?
BOB: Hello CLEMENT
Clement: Hi!
BOB: I am looking for an EXTREMELY RARE race AND class combination that I have been UNABLE TO LOCATE SO FAR
BOB: I would like a VERY WELL GEARED hunter that is also FEMALE and TROLL
BOB: Can you assist me CLEMENT
Clement: I will try
Clement: Would you interested in a Male instead, you can always change the character from a male to female.
BOB: Can you DO THAT NOW?
Clement: Here is a list of lvl 80 male troll hunter
BOB: How long have you been PLAYING WORLD OF WARCRAFT, CLEMENT?
Clement: I am sorry but you will have to pay for the customization using your credit card.
BOB: I want to make sure I am IN THE HANDS OF A PROFESSIONAL.
Clement: I am not a wow professional, and it doesn't take a wow professional to do my job right
BOB: Well WHAT EXACTLY IS YOUR JOB THEN MONSIEUR
BOB: Are you one of those POOR SOULS CHAINED TO A DESK IN SOUTH-EAST ASIA?
BOB: A child of the HEROIN TRADE, perhaps?
Clement: Look! This is a warning. If you do not calm down and do not cease using such abusive language, we cannot continue.
BOB: I apologize monsieur
BOB: You have been MOST HELPFUL so far.
BOB: And I do not want to damage our BUDDING RELATIONSHIP.
BOB: I VALUE YOUR FRIENDSHIP GREATLY, CLEMENT.
BOB: But I must inquire as to your JOB DESCRIPTION if you are going to CONTINUE ASSISTING ME in my TRANSACTION this evening.
Clement: No problem my friend.
Clement: I am afraid my job description is irrelevant to the buying process.
BOB: Are you saying you are NOT QUALIFIED TO RELEASE THAT INFORMATION?
Clement: My job is to assisting you to place the order, or if you have any inquires regarding on any character on our website.
BOB: Clement I am now going to inform you that I am a TEXAS PEACE OFFICER and I am INVESTIGATING INTERNET SLAVERY for CNN News.
BOB: My focus is particularly around WORLD OF WARCRAFT.
BOB: If you need help and assistance in being liberated from SLAVERY please SPEAK NOW AND I WILL ASSIST YOU.
Clement: I see.
BOB: Where do the COMMUNISTS HAVE YOU CHAINED UP, CLEMENT?
Clement: I believe there is no point for us to continue on this live chat.
Clement: And I am going to end the chat now.
BOB: No sir.
BOB: Sir
BOB: Plesae
BOB: One more thing sir.
BOB: May I speak with your supervisor?
Clement: What is the last word you would like to say?
Clement: I will directly send your message to him.
BOB: If you are a LEGITIMATE BUSINESS and not a SOUTH-EAST ASIA HEROIN HOUSE you will oblige my request.
BOB: Thank you. |
#300640* (?/40) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
* kenneth224 (Mibbit@chat-solu-4138B4C8.dsl.hstntx.sbcglobal.net) has joined #unfiction
<tygr20> Kenneth in Houston, you're on #unfiction. Go ahead.
* kenneth224 (Mibbit@chat-solu-4138B4C8.dsl.hstntx.sbcglobal.net) Quit (Quit: )
<Oriza> nice.
<pixie> tygr - you rock |
#300652* (?/34) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
comment3 <a href="firstmailer.ru">êðóïíûì ïëàíîì ãîëûå çíàìåíèòîñòè</a>Comment: comment3 <a href="firstmailer.ru">êðóïíûì ïëàíîì ãîëûå çíàìåíèòîñòè</a>
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#300664* (?/34) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Ryan [2:59 PM]:i have an ass geiser right now
David [2:59 PM]:tub girl
David [2:59 PM]:?
Ryan [2:59 PM]:just about
Ryan [2:59 PM]:explosive is used quite frequnetly when in reference to diahreah
Ryan [2:59 PM]:but
Ryan [2:59 PM]:i now know what TRUE explosive diahreah is
Ryan [3:00 PM]:u see i had this ham
Ryan [3:00 PM]:and it was infused with clove cigarettes
Ryan [3:00 PM]:er
Ryan [3:00 PM]:i mean
Ryan [3:00 PM]:clove
Ryan [3:00 PM]:and if i smoke clove cigarettes
Ryan [3:00 PM]:i get sick so i never liked them
Ryan [3:00 PM]:i feel like i'm going to gag and puke
Ryan [3:00 PM]:i think i'm allergic to the shit
Ryan [3:00 PM]:or like my body just doesn't agree with it, thats the only thing i can think of
David [3:00 PM]:I think your wife attempted to poison and kill you.
Ryan [3:01 PM]:wouldn't fuckin doubt it
Ryan [3:01 PM]:and to top it off
Ryan [3:01 PM]:it was in ham
Ryan [3:01 PM]:lol
Ryan [3:01 PM]:ham sandwich
Ryan [3:01 PM]:son of a bitch
Ryan [3:01 PM]:i really shit my pants this morning, ha ha
Ryan [3:02 PM]:god a lil bit of a brown wet spot in there and had to haul ass to the bathroom
David [3:02 PM]:Do you realize you just made yourself the butt of all of our jokes for the next years to come.
David [3:02 PM]:Thanks Ryan.
Ryan [3:02 PM]:hey, it happened man
Ryan [3:02 PM]:i can't deny that
David [3:03 PM]:But you don't have to share it?
Ryan [3:03 PM]:it was one of those early morning farts where yer laying in bed
Ryan [3:03 PM]:and then its like
Ryan [3:03 PM]:half concious squeeze it out
Ryan [3:03 PM]:to wide eyed and running
Ryan [3:03 PM]:meh
Ryan [3:03 PM]:its whatever shit happens
Ryan [3:03 PM]:literally
David [3:03 PM]:lol
Ryan [3:04 PM]:been choking down pepto and immodium all day
Ryan [3:04 PM]:and its done nothing for me
Ryan [3:04 PM]:i'm sure everyone has had that happen to them at one point or another
Ryan [3:05 PM]:ha ha
David [3:06 PM]:Last time I recall anything similar to your situation I was in huggies.
Ryan [3:06 PM]:you lie
Ryan [3:06 PM]:you've sharted before, you know u haveComment: HAHHAHHA Burning Bubble Guts!
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#300679* (?/28) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<hcfd> Macbook Pros are single-button?!
<FuzzyPlushroom> Not sure about the new ones
<hcfd> I never noticed. I thought Apple got with the times like ten years ago!
<hcfd> Fuck. I really am ignorant of those freaks.
<hcfd> I mean Apple/fans.
<FuzzyPlushroom> Yes.
<Madda> They certainly didn't ten years ago
<Madda> I set up one at the start of this year
<Madda> And it only had one button
<hcfd> Madda: One button surface, one switch? Cos..well technically the Eee 1005HA has one button, but two switches..
<Madda> hcfd: One switch
<hcfd> Madda: That really is incomprehensible.
<hcfd> And always will be.
<FuzzyPlushroom> They want you to hold down Ctrl
<hcfd> Historians in years to come will just stand back and go 'Whoa..'
<FuzzyPlushroom> You can't save your gay porn on a Mac with your dick in your hand. |
#300700* (?/38) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Dark Legacy: Notebook?
Ilya: yeah
Ilya: the movie
Ilya: the notebook
Dark Legacy: The movie the notebook?
Ilya: "The Notebook"
Dark Legacy: A movie about a notebook?
Ilya: "most romantic movie ever"
Dark Legacy: ... About a notebook |
#300726* (?/44) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
PixilEyes> [link to article about Japanese guy who married a video game character
<PixilEyes> hahahha
<PixilEyes> sounds like something swuzzlebum would do
<swuzzlebum> that's so mean. i'm real! :(
<PixilEyes> lolz
<Mephistopheles> You'd still marry Hello Kitty if it were legal.
<swuzzlebum> that is wrong on so many levelsComment: irc.neowin.net, #neowin
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#300755* (?/40) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Skrewtape> What's in Vegas?
<nimper^> gambling
<nimper^> hookers
<nimper^> booze
<nimper^> not in that order though
<Tumble> ya
<Tumble> cuz its all at once u dum faggot |
#300768* (?/44) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@Hjorten> the reason i can no longer take american cops seriously: A reality series that follows action star Steven Seagal's adventures as a fully-commissioned deputy with the Jefferson Parish Sheriff's Office in Louisiana. |
#300774* (?/28) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
* Mini_Moog baked cookies earlier
<Mini_Moog> they were yummeh
<Oddlot> Any left?
<Mini_Moog> plenty
* Oddlot Goebbels 'em up.
<Oddlot> Mmmmm.
<Mini_Moog> :P
<Mini_Moog> yum yum gimmie sum
<Oddlot> Tastes like it was made by someone of Jewish descent.
<Oddlot> Fuzzy: Ideas?
<Oddlot> As to why this tastes Jewish?
<FuzzyPlushroom> What is it?
<Oddlot> The cookies.
<FuzzyPlushroom> Mookies?
<FuzzyPlushroom> Uhm... because you Goebbelsed 'em up, partly.
<Oddlot> Nope.
<Oddlot> I do not see any left, and I'm feeling full.
<Oddlot> No?
<Oddlot> No one's gonna' get the Goebbels Reference?
<FuzzyPlushroom> Oddlot: No shit.
<FuzzyPlushroom> I THOUGHT it was IMPLIED that you were ATTEMPTING TO ERADICATE THEM WITH YOUR MOUTH
<FuzzyPlushroom> but APPARENTLY NOT |
#300787* (?/26) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Ny> o.o
<Ny> just what's going on here?
<Dsn> Stabbing. :3 |
#300797* (?/32) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
N: Hi
А: hi
N: tell me one thing
A: ?
N: or more exactly two
А: ?? |
#300806* (?/24) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
[ %mr_daemon ] I also set a reminder to clear the floors on the days the roomba is scheduled to run
[ %mr_daemon ] Because Roombas are a bit like puppies
[ %mr_daemon ] Somtimes you come home to find a bunch of shredded papers and kleenex all over the floor, electronics tossed around and wires everywhere with the roomba in the middle, its red light pulsingComment: #glasnost@synirc
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#300831* (?/36) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<SilverTonguedDevil> i just realised
<SilverTonguedDevil> i'm STD
<SilverTonguedDevil> ...
<SilverTonguedDevil> O_o |
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