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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..191192193194195196197..596Next> |
#302130* (?/41) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
resuni: where is beefster?
resuni quit (night all)
Beefster joined <- 8 minutes later |
#302141* (?/53) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[23:23] <SmrkHnry> I'm listening to that band Pendulum right now that did that song Propane Nightmares.
[23:23] <Ciber> >Propane Nightmares
[23:23] <Ciber> FT. MC HANK HILL
[23:23] <SmrkHnry> YEP.
[23:23] <Ciber> STRICKLAND PROPNANE INC MAINE
[23:24] <SaiDi> NOW FOR OUR NUMBER 1 HIT!
[23:24] <SaiDi> DAMMIT BOBBY
[23:24] <SmrkHnry> it's ya boi Hank Hill
[23:24] <SmrkHnry> Rollin wit a 40 ounce of Alamo
[23:24] <SmrkHnry> I tell ya what nigga
[23:25] <Chodio_Castagnoli> Spin it, Dale.
[23:25] <SmrkHnry> dang ol' haters in my face I ought kick they ass
[23:25] <SmrkHnry> rims on my mower while I'm choppin that grass
[23:25] <Chodio_Castagnoli> Mmhmm.
[23:26] <SmrkHnry> Peggy shakin that ass in my face, god dang
[23:26] <Chodio_Castagnoli> Mad props to Strickland, maine, pimpin' that propane.
[23:27] <SmrkHnry> been huffin wd-40 since the day I was born
[23:27] <Chodio_Castagnoli> Won a court case from watchin' some porn.
[23:28] <Ciber> RIP BUCKLEY
[23:28] <Ciber> Dang Ol' Boomhauer maine.
[23:29] <SmrkHnry> Chuck Mangione on the beat, ya heard?
[23:29] <Chodio_Castagnoli> Yep.
[23:29] <Ciber> Mmm hmm
[23:29] <SmrkHnry> Yep.Comment: Rizon, #wrestling
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#302174* (?/27) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
##SnoFox and fahadsadah know each other##
* SnoFox (~SnoFox@unaffiliated/snofox) has joined #emacs
<fahadsadah> SnoFox: Hi
<SnoFox> fahadsadah: Hi.
<fahadsadah> fahadsadah_ is emacs
<fahadsadah> I think I just broke it
<SnoFox> Hm.
<fahadsadah_> SnoFox: I'm emacs!
<SnoFox> Can emacs multitask or do you have to run multiple instances of emacs to do more than IRC and edit text? :p
<fahadsadah> You can run as many things as you like.
<fahadsadah> It's a full-featured OS
<SnoFox> Does it have a good text editor?
<SnoFox> I sure like to edit my text.
<fahadsadah> Err...
<fahadsadah> #vim is that-a-way
<SnoFox> Ah, I'll be on my way, then.
* SnoFox (~SnoFox@unaffiliated/snofox) has left #emacs ("Poof") |
#302184* (?/27) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hey
Stranger: .. mom?
You: ..son?
You: I AM DISAPPOINT
Stranger: ;___________________;
You: GOING ON THE AOL AT THIS HOUR AND DOIN UR INTNET JOKES
You: YOURE GOING TO GET LONG DISTANCE CALLING BILLS
You: AND WHAT IF GRAMPS WANTED TO CALL
Stranger: mom go away youre embarrassing me...
You: wHO ELSE IS ON HERE/ IM CALLING THERE PARENTS TO
You: ALL OF YOU SHOULD BE IN BED
Stranger: =( he doesnt live with his parents mom...
You: WWWHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAT?? THEN THERES A PEDO FILE HERE
You: IM CALLING THE FUCKING COPS ON THE SICK FUCKO
Stranger: MOM HE CAN HEAR YOU GOD I HATE YOU
Your conversational partner has disconnected.Comment: Omegle
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#302187* (?/51) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@cbirkett> Finished yet?
<@jin> ok i think im done
<@cbirkett> yay :D
<@cbirkett> sounds like it was a shitty assignment
<@jin> its just really long
<@cbirkett> That's just as bad as really hard
<@jin> thats what she said
<@cbirkett> rofl |
#302248* (?/25) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
You: hi
Stranger: Yes you are
You: I am?
You: A hi?
Stranger: Love bondage
You: That sounds kinky
Stranger: Tie me up
You: Okay
You: there, you're tired up
You: tied
Stranger: I'm all yours baby oh yeah
You: ooh, great
You: I can't get a refund?
Stranger: You cam refund your penis
You: Oh, how much would I get back?
Stranger: Half your penis
You: ...
You: For refunding the whole thing?
Stranger: Nope half
You: I think I'll just keep it then
You: thanks
Stranger: I'm going to plow you mother
You: Too late
You: I already did
Your conversational partner has disconnected. |
#302271* (?/79) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Heavier than thou.: and some chick knocked before
Heavier than thou.: wanting me to help fix her computer or some shit
Heavier than thou.: i was retarded high
Heavier than thou.: after the knock i was like
Heavier than thou.: hold up *clank sounds of me hiding shit*
Heavier than thou.: walk out with china eyes
MikeyPuppetMaster: lololololol
Heavier than thou.: from her room i could hear my song playing it was that loud
Heavier than thou.: i have been listening to the same song for like 15mins |
#302344* (?/19) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Balsaq: but i dont bank and stuff online
Balsaq: so what else can they do
No_one_at_all: ok, good for you. How about...other things. You ebay much?
Balsaq: i assume there are holes in it
CaptainKirk|Mac: No
CaptainKirk|Mac: I put stuff I want in my Amazon wish list
Balsaq: yeah a spot of ebay here and there
CaptainKirk|Mac: And wait for someone to mistake me for someone they know and buy me stuff
No_one_at_all: lol CaptainKirk|Mac
• No_one_at_all claps his hands
No_one_at_all: Balsaq: suppose you go to a site that gets your email address, as a log-on prerequisite...
No_one_at_all: and that site also figures out that you go to ebay...
CaptainKirk|Mac: Uh-oh…
Balsaq: i dont give it out
CaptainKirk|Mac: I'd just make an alias
No_one_at_all: now they can send you a phishing email that says, "your ebay account is about to expire. Go to thislink and enter your password and user id..."
Balsaq: see. this is where i win everytime...
CaptainKirk|Mac: Handy feature of MobileMe
No_one_at_all: lol
CaptainKirk|Mac: Aliases. Just one more reason to get MobileMe
No_one_at_all: I have a separate email address for my legit stuff, and another for my junk sites...
CaptainKirk|Mac: lolz |
#302345* (?/11) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
CaptainKirk|Mac: rof(otbotsue)lz
No_one_at_all: please elaborate on that elaborate abbreviation.
CaptainKirk|Mac: Rolling On the Floor (Of The Bridge Of The Starship Enterprise) Laughing |
#302360* (?/19) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Cold0ne> i just took THE BIGGEST shit of my entire fucking life
<Cold0ne> i cannot believe what just came out of my ass
<Cold0ne> it started 1 hour ago when i ate a peanut butter jelly sandwich with a full cup of milk
<Cold0ne> i put probably way more peanut butter than i should have
<Cold0ne> it was about 1cm thick on the bread
<Cold0ne> then 30 mins later i feel my stomach (bowels) acting up so i know im gonna have to shit
<Cold0ne> i goto toilet, and take a massive 2 foot log
<Cold0ne> then i think, wow , that was fast..
<Cold0ne> then i feel something funny in my bowels
<Cold0ne> ....i can feel something has "arrived"
<Cold0ne> in the next 5 minutes, i shit out SUCH a fucking LOAD of creamy brown shit, that it FILLS, i repeat, FILLS the ENTIRE fucking toilet bowl up half way
<Cold0ne> THE ENTIRE FUCKING TOILET BOWL HALF WAY
<Cold0ne> i could not believe what was coming out of my ass....
<Cold0ne> the amount of shit
<Cold0ne> holy god
<Cold0ne> what the FUCK
<Cold0ne> dude.....there was enough shit there to fill the dinner plates of an entire fucking family
<Cold0ne> completely filled plates
<Cold0ne> WHAT THE FUCK
<Cold0ne> i had to pump the toilet for 10 minutes straight to get it to unclog and go down
<Cold0ne> i hope that was the first and LAST time in my life that ever happened to me!
<Cold0ne> i will not eat peanut butter ever again btw.....that is done and gone from my life now
<Cold0ne> good bye peanut butterComment: sadly all true
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#302378* (?/7) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Water> I have just paused my quest of having sex with many women and killing demons. :(
<Water> actually killing demons is too hard, I fail miserably at thatComment: #machall on irc.sorcery.net
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#302381* (?/15) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ImaDino> ew quantman physics x3
<ImaDino> wow what a bad typoi just had x.x
<B-Rad> 2 for 2
<B-Rad> go for three! |
#302405* (?/11) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Bluedemon> Run over any hookers in SUV's yet?
<GeekyLink> nah
<GeekyLink> kori just flew into the ocean
<MasterCloudy> ...
<MasterCloudy> Run over any hookers... at all?
<B-Rad> I flew over a hooker once
<B-Rad> she bent my wing
<MasterCloudy> They're durable
<B-Rad> they are
<B-Rad> damn hookers |
#302408* (?/11) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* Damian (~Damian@89.240.83.67) has joined #clueirc
<fahadsadah> Hey Damian.
<fahadsadah> Do you watch FlashForward?
<fahadsadah> D Gibbons figures out time travel
<Damian> mhm
<fahadsadah> He stole Simon's thing before he invented it
<nathan> :o
<fahadsadah> Oh, and he's not the only one who knows time travel.
<fahadsadah> I'm talking about next Monday's episode. |
#302418* (?/21) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* @darkex (darkex@anger.to.headshot) Quit (Killed (Steak (You've grown out of your diapers!! Happy birthday!)))
<&Carbon> too much pink, Steak
<&Blake> FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
<&Blake> just heard my dog fart
<&Carbon> OMG
<&Carbon> EAT IT
<&Carbon> EAT IT GOOD
<&Carbon> :>
<&Blake> waiting any second to get a wif of it
* darkex (darkex@anger.to.headshot) has joined #chan
* Chat sets mode: +o darkex
<&Blake> going to pass out
<&Carbon> hot
<&Blake> fu jew
<&Carbon> I'll take my chance and rape your body
<&Carbon> OwO
<&Blake> :(
<artypig78> lolComment: (from irc.rizon.net/#chan)
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#302453* (?/19) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
okay
take a 20 a hole punch it
at the very edge
stick it in your window seal and roll up the window
All but a small crack
put a note on the window that says " If you can fish out my 20 its yours" maybe oneday someone will get it maybe you'll walk out on them and catch them fishing
but no matter what its always worth it |
#302521* (?/23) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
-->| megallica has joined #BoredClub
<--| megallica has left #BoredClub
<Bored> Hi megallica!Comment: bot lag
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#302539* (?/37) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
you just lost the game |
#302586* (?/11) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<&charles> !kb Damon!4b8c7735@TheNerdTV-A750E6E2.mibbit.com YOU JUST GOT KILLED/KICKED/AND BANNED FROM THE SERVER - Go DIAH
* NerdBot sets mode: +b Damon!4b8c7735@TheNerdTV-A750E6E2.mibbit.com
* Damon was kicked by NerdBot (YOU JUST GOT KILLED/KICKED/AND BANNED FROM THE SERVER - Go DIAH (charles))
<&charles> pwnd
<+Mike> LMAO
<&charles> walked into the other room
<&charles> she was trying to connect
<+Mike> ha
<&charles> I was like thats not gonna work...Comment: #freetalk on irc.thenerdtv.com
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#302590* (?/29) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<zagarus> it's often hard to tell satire fromextremism
<zagarus> there's supposed to be a space there
note: incorrect reference on last quoteComment: #sd on irc.mibbit.net
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#302594* (?/7) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< codejone> Im smoking this really crazy dro
< codejone> I got a half of it
< osirix> i got a half stiffy
< xexyz> sounds like you two have the workings of a fair tradeComment: #sdf on irc.freeshell.org
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#302598* (?/15) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
-> From Nala, to kids, rant:
- what's the legality of chloroform?Comment: RPI lily
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#302622* (?/17) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Rask: rodney?
Rodney: who are you?
Rask: does the term egox mean anything to you?
Rodney: NO and who are you?
Rask: fuck
Rask: you're not the man I'm looking for, rodney.
Rask: how do I get an operator on this thing?
Rask: do I press 0?
Rask: 0
Rodney: ok well I still want to know where I know you from?
Rask: 0
Rask: hello, operator?
Rodney: look I am about making money. All of this stupid shit you need to leave for someone else
Rask: whoa pal
Rask: relax
Rask: I'm all about making money too
Rask: I'm just trying to get a fucking operator here
Rask: I don't like this textphone shit
Rask: I remember when touch tone came out
Rodney: lol, this is aim
Rask: I don't know what that means
Rodney: you dont have any operators around here
Rask: then how do I make another call?
Rask: look
Rask: wheres the directory?
Rask: clearly I have the wrong rodney
Rodney: yes you do
Rask: ok
Rask: understand me here
Rask: normally what I'd do is call the operator and get him to direct me to the proper number
Rodney: go away
Rask: I just want to do that
Rask: dude
Rask: don't be a dick
Rask: I'm trying to make a call
Rodney: man look I dont give a shit what you are trying to do. Quit being stupid and pick up a phone if you want to make a call. This is a fucking chat box. No beat it
Rask: listen
Rask: my partner rodney told me to call him on this thing
Rask: and he set it up
Rask: so don't get all sassy with me because he messed up
Rodney: wrong rodney
Rask: I gotta make a call here, it's fucking urgent
Rask: listen
Rask: I can't tell you what it's about
Rask: but this call is more important than any single thing you'll ever do in your life
Rask: so if you could help me place it
Rask: there'd be some good karma coming your way
Rask: definitely
Rask: rodney?
Rask: just tell me how to get to the fucking manual
Rodney: how the fuck can I block you? What a strange person you are
Rask: why won't you help me?!?
Rask: I'm confused
Rask: I don't understand this internet shit |
#302654* (?/29) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<AcquaCow> Just listen to the music of the traffic in the city
<AcquaCow> Linger on the sidewalk where the neon signs are pretty
<AcquaCow> How can you lose?
<AcquaCow> The lights are much brighter there
<AcquaCow> You can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares and go
<AcquaCow> ____ _____ ___ _ _____ _____ ___ _ _ _
<AcquaCow> | _ \ / _ \ \ / / \ | |_ _/ _ \ \ / / \ | | | |
<AcquaCow> | | | | | | \ \ /\ / /| \| | | || | | \ \ /\ / /| \| | | |
<AcquaCow> | |_| | |_| |\ V V / | |\ | | || |_| |\ V V / | |\ |_|_|
<AcquaCow> |____/ \___/ \_/\_/ |_| \_| |_| \___/ \_/\_/ |_| \_(_|_)
<AcquaCow>
<AcquaCow> things'll be great when you're
<AcquaCow> ____ _____ ___ _ _____ _____ ___ _ _ _
<AcquaCow> | _ \ / _ \ \ / / \ | |_ _/ _ \ \ / / \ | | | |
<AcquaCow> | | | | | | \ \ /\ / /| \| | | || | | \ \ /\ / /| \| | | |
<AcquaCow> | |_| | |_| |\ V V / | |\ | | || |_| |\ V V / | |\ |_|_|
<AcquaCow> |____/ \___/ \_/\_/ |_| \_| |_| \___/ \_/\_/ |_| \_(_|_)
<AcquaCow>
<AcquaCow> now finer place for sure
<AcquaCow> ____ _____ ___ _ _____ _____ ___ _ _ _
<AcquaCow> | _ \ / _ \ \ / / \ | |_ _/ _ \ \ / / \ | | | |
<AcquaCow> | | | | | | \ \ /\ / /| \| | | || | | \ \ /\ / /| \| | | |
<AcquaCow> | |_| | |_| |\ V V / | |\ | | || |_| |\ V V / | |\ |_|_|
<AcquaCow> |____/ \___/ \_/\_/ |_| \_| |_| \___/ \_/\_/ |_| \_(_|_)
<AcquaCow>
<AcquaCow> everything's waiting for you... |
#302657* (?/15) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<CyrixWork> i wonder if im admin of this data store
<zaius> bla, bla, bla...
* CyrixWork tasers zaius
<CyrixWork> it would appear that I am |
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