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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..189190191192193194195..596Next> |
#300650* (?/35) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
comment6 <a href="katalogue.ru">ñåêñ ïîä íàðêîòèêàìè âèäåî</a>Comment: comment6 <a href="katalogue.ru">ñåêñ ïîä íàðêîòèêàìè âèäåî</a>
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#300651* (?/27) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
comment3 <a href="katalogue.ru">ñåêñ ïîä íàðêîòèêàìè âèäåî</a>Comment: comment3 <a href="katalogue.ru">ñåêñ ïîä íàðêîòèêàìè âèäåî</a>
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#300657* (?/29) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<TS> All right.
<TS> A few weeks ago, we - shit, five of us, that guy Nick, his girl M., and two of their friends - were with me, we were just riding around
<TS> it was intended as a half-cocked mailboxing/fucking-around run
<TS> that was the night we stole a half-dozen cones to supplement the ones in my trunk, then closed off a dirt road
<TS> anyway, we had a baseball bat, were ready to use it
<TS> but we did a bit too much fucking around - at one point there was a scarecrow in the car
<TS> right after we took off from that, a police car came 'round the corner, didn't see anything, but saw me pull away
<TS> so I sped up slightly, not enough to arouse suspicion, and the contraband - scarecrow, pumpkin or two, and the bat - went out the windows before the cop could finish turning around and catch up
<TS> We went back for the bat last night. But anyway.
<TS> On the way down there, we see a dead... something... in the opposite lane. Nick thought it was a possum; I suggested that it looked like a 'coon, from the tail
<TS> We said 'we'll get it when we come back'
<TS> So we went down, spent half an hour looking for the bat that someone presumably picked up in between
<TS> (for we didn't find it)
<TS> he got the branch instead, I ran down the reflector, he took out a few 'boxes, we headed back north.
<TS> We come to the raccoon - for that's what it was.
<TS> Stopped, put on my hazards, lit 'er up with my high beams and tossed Nick the electric torch.
<TS> Someone ran over the head. It was pretty impressive.
<TS> It had shit itself as it died, so there were a few clumps of coon shit trailing a few feet behind it.
<TS> We noticed that it'd either drooled or foamed somewhat as it lay there, though its mouth was clean. May have been rabid, then.
<TS> "Run it over."
<TS> "Hahahaha, what?"
<TS> "Run it over. Right over it."
<TS> This was nothing strange; I'd nailed a dead beaver at a good clip before. It's usually a barrel of laughs.
<TS> They decided they were standing way back.
<TS> "No, you aren't. If I'm running this bitch over, you're watching."
<TS> I lined the wheels up, got it solidly with both. Made a good crunch.
<TS> I pulled forward and stopped. Nick was busting a gut laughing. It must've been a beautiful sight.
<TS> "I should do a burnout..."
<TS> I threw 'er in reverse and carefully guided the back wheels over the slightly misshapen 'coon. Yeah. This was happening.
<TS> I eased Violet forward until the left rear tire was directly behind the partially squashed 'coon. Held down the brake pedal. Gunned it.
<TS> The tires took a second to catch, but when they did, that motherfucker flew a good ten, maybe fifteen feet backward. Less than twenty, anyway.
<TS> We didn't quit laughing for several minutes afterward. I put "Sultans of Swing" back on - it'd been paused - and we left.
<TS> Achievement Unlocked: Bitchin' Rabid Coon Burnout. |
#300666* (?/31) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Cumbria left IRC. (Quit: excess flood) |
#300682* (?/37) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car |
#300729* (?/45) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
You are now known as LHoT10820.
<Iris> I hate your nick, jfyi
<LHoT10820> Eye hate your nick too. |
#300790* (?/31) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* TsundeRay is now known as YandeRay |
#300824* (?/31) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Valtieri> It's the morning of December 7.
<Valtieri> It's a mere 23 F/-5 C.
<Valtieri> One could say, then, that just as there was 68 years ago today... there's a Nip in the air. |
#300833* (?/43) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Eevi: I find macho guys funny to make fun of
Bezz: good thing I'm not macho zomg
Eevi: I heard you look like McLovin. That must suck.
Bezz: D: |
#300838* (?/43) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Cobalt[Elsewhere]> Gah.
<Cobalt[Elsewhere]> Okay. So you have a novel where all your characters have huge contradictions in their personalities. You've got this guy who kidnaps a girl and imprisons her until she eventually dies, but he's this totally self-controlled gentleman who never once considers doing anything to this girl aside from watching her and desiring her companionship.
<Cobalt[Elsewhere]> Said girl is like this practically blind follower of a painter dude who himself is majorly contradictory in that his whole philosophy is that life is a bit of a joke; no point in taking that seriously, but you should always take art seriously.
<Cobalt[Elsewhere]> That causes a contradiction in the girl's personality, because as much as she desires to follow the painter's ideals, she never really is able to until she's imprisoned, and really just before she dies.
<Cobalt[Elsewhere]> So
<Cobalt[Elsewhere]> WHAT DOES THAT SAY
<Cobalt[Elsewhere]> BECAUSE I HAVE NO IDEA.
[22:58:06] <RingtailedFox> the writer was on crack?
<Cobalt[Elsewhere]> Possibly.
[22:58:14] <RingtailedFox> or was a troll?
<Cobalt[Elsewhere]> But I doubt I'll be getting any kind of decent grade if I argue that John Fowles is a crack-addled troll.
[22:58:40] <RingtailedFox> lmao
[22:58:48] <RingtailedFox> i said that about shakespeare and got a B+ in english :P
<Zaxx> Do it anyway.
<Cobalt[Elsewhere]> I mean, I was originally leaning toward an analysis of those contradictions and pointing out their similarities to a lot of traits you'll find in everyday people, and it's the presense of those contradictions that make the characters more dynamic and humanComment: Englolish, for Dummies
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#300840* (?/29) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* RichardG (i=IceChat7@187.15.88.116) has joined #68kmla
<helf|laptop> This statement is true.
<helf|laptop> The above statement is false.
* RichardG has quit (Client Quit)
<Aquaraptor> zing!
<helf|laptop> dude, it made richardGs head explode
<joshc_> lmao |
#300949* (?/21) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+normalboy> HI
<@tradition> if you have to ask, you'll never know
<+normalboy> I've had champaigne on me golden grahms
<+normalboy> i
<+normalboy> am
<+normalboy> steaminnnggComment: #wtfux
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#300970* (?/21) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
shortc|desk: It's funny.shortc|desk: I live here in Michigan.
shortc|desk: People online keep thinking I'm in Central. We're just that close to the Central TZ, and the Eastern TZ is one wide mofo of a TZ.
shortc|desk: Actually, *part* of Michigan is in Central, but everone who lives there supports Green Bay. |
#300980* (?/29) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
A: Why does a down-vote lower the numerical score of the quote AND increase the number maximum number of quotes for the vote at qdb.us?
B: I don't know, doesn't that doubly penalize a quote for each down-vote?
A: It sure seems to...
Seriously, wtf? |
#300993* (?/31) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<pitz> I tried to say 'I love poo'
<pitz> But your cock got in the way |
#300999* (?/31) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(SightUp) anyone here?
(SightUp) a channel full of 52 bots
(SightUp) retarded |
#301006* (?/19) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+peer> (Operating System) Linux Ubuntu 9.10 - karmic Kernel: 2.6.31-16-generic, GNU/Linux | Xorg: 1.6.4 | Desktop: Gnome v2.2.1 | IRC CLient: X-Chat v.2.8.6
<+peer> better than mirc
<+SavageKoala> [+peer] it's not better than mIRC cos it's not scriptable
<+peer> lol SavageKoala ever hear of tcl m8
<+SavageKoala> tcl = eggdrop
<+peer> you can load tcl in xchat
<+SavageKoala> ahh
<+peer> and pl (perl)
<+SavageKoala> so in effect I could have an executable web page running as an irc client LOL |
#301040* (?/53) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<[mharrison]> What the shit?! I just tapped mah trackpad and ended up clicking on something that opened up a /msg window with myself. I was like, "Who's this asshole trying to talk to me!" |
#301101* (?/43) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
juicemilk: meanwhile...
juicemilk: we must get louie out of his coma
calciumdust: ok
calciumdust: i'm on it
calciumdust: i left him a message of hardcore techno
calciumdust: it's in god's hands now
»pingpong joined.
juicemilk: bout time
calciumdust: jesus came though |
#301142* (?/23) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<B> MoD: would it be possible to get quote 1 deleted?
<MonkeyofDoom> !quote b 1
<Shishichi> "test" - B
<MonkeyofDoom> did you actually say test?
<B> uh, no.
<MonkeyofDoom> ah
<luke> he did
<B> but even if i did, it's not funny
<B> nor inspirational, or in any way clever
<luke> as part of !quote add B test
<MonkeyofDoom> if you had said it I'd not remove it
<MonkeyofDoom> but if you hadn't I can take it out
<luke> B: most of the quotes aren't, we like to have them be representative of the users |
#301225* (?/23) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* ChanServ set mode: +ao Final_Res0rt Final_Res0rt
<@Final_Res0rt> meh
<@Final_Res0rt> !seen zzzach
(<@Q> zzzach was last seen here 26 minutes ago.
<@Final_Res0rt> -.-
(23:48:40) * @Final_Res0rt has quit IRC (Client exited)
(23:48:55) * zzzach has joined #O_M_F_Dz |
#301228* (?/63) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Jeff|Laptop> i told my mom that before i went to work today
<Jeff|Laptop> she literally laughed her ass off
<^_^> your mum no longer has an ass? |
#301240* (?/49) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
toadoh8: so on thursday this trick was like "I need to fix my relationship status on FB back to single"
toadoh8: "how longs that gunna last, 5 days"
toadoh8: "nuh uh"
toadoh8: she was right, it was 3 |
#301338* (?/39) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<zid`> damnit bent
<zid`> I HATE YOU
<bent> I get that a lot :p
<zid`> bent: Well, it's so easy to hate you
<bent> awww you're so sweet :D
<zid`> bent: Wanna get hitched?
<bent> I too afraid of commitment, sorry :(
<zid`> I'm too afraid of testicles |
#301441* (?/35) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ct_ayu> hai
<RBlaze> yo
<ct_ayu> hik hik hik~
<RBlaze> ?
<ct_ayu> i'm katherine, 22/f/malaysian
<RBlaze> no thanks
<ct_ayu> got mail? care to change pic?
<ct_ayu> want to join me 1 leg 4(URL)!!.
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ct_ayu is ~Limbz@118.100.3.87 * You May Touch But Not Sqeeeze!
ct_ayu using efnet.xs4all.nl where plans go to die
ct_ayu End of /WHOIS list.
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<RBlaze> wow porn bot
<RBlaze> failComment: PM from a bot
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