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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..175176177178179180181..596Next> |
#305780* (?/34) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
http://qdb.us/38339
why are there still morons on the internet
maggots dont lay eggs, theyre the larval stage of fucking flies |
#305785* (?/28) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
-!- grape [user@118-169-215-49.dynamic.hinet.net] has joined #SecondAge
-!- mode/#SecondAge [+b *rape*!*@*] by W
-!- grape was kicked from #SecondAge by W [(Derrick) Bye.] |
#305786* (?/26) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Mark> thaum the hater
<bk> mark the masturbator
<JimBob> bk the baconator
<bk> shut up gaybob
<JimBob> thats Jim Bob to you
<bk> lol
<jesus> bgay
<bk> gaysus
<ele> bgay
<Catts> cmon stop the arguing
<Catts> if its any reconciliation
<Catts> you're all gay |
#305791* (?/28) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@Vainglory> just got paid today
* @Vainglory fights BILLS and wins!!
<@Vainglory> die!!!!!
<@Freyberg{STB}> u r lucky
<@Freyberg{STB}> when i fight those things
<@Freyberg{STB}> they tend to win
<@Vainglory> I keep some savings, so as to be more war rdy
<@Vainglory> plus...
<@Vainglory> always good to know your enemies' weakness
<@Vainglory> and mine is money!
<@Vainglory> thus half the battle was over before it started |
#305794* (?/36) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<pedro3005> people already hate me
<pedro3005> even the bot hates me
<pedro3005> !8ball do you like me?
<MegBot> yerp
<pedro3005> hm.. |
#305879* (?/36) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<MiX-MaN> <3 ntop && arp
<Krenum> <3 work
<MiX-MaN> yuck
<MiX-MaN> such foul language
<Krenum> Your face is foul
<MiX-MaN> i think not
<Krenum> Oh no wait
<Krenum> your lunch is foul
<Krenum> See what I did there
<Krenum> I insinuated you were eating chicken for lunch
<Krenum> ha ha
<Krenum> ha ha ha ha ha |
#305905* (?/28) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<inequation> hey, how about a "your mum" joke?
<'dr1an> shoot
<inequation> your mum is so stupid she confuses pedophiles with PDF files! |
#305957* (?/26) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<HelgeSverre> Mursalat YOUR AN OBJECT!
<HelgeSverre> of the subclass human
<mursalat> let me return your Parent object then
<HelgeSverre> I will call mymommy(); !Comment: c++ on irc.quakenet.org
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#305958* (?/34) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<HelgeSverre> Mursalat YOUR AN OBJECT!
<HelgeSverre> of the (sub?)class human
<mursalat> let me return your Parent object then
<HelgeSverre> I will call mymommy() !
<mursalat> error: ‘mymommy’ was not declared in this scope
<mursalat> who got your now he??
<HelgeSverre> :< if (!mymommy()) { cout << "cry" }Comment: #C++ on irc.Quakenet.org
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#305966* (?/28) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
noobscratcher: your dad sucks he uses cocoa instead of c++ to write code because mac is easier to use
HelgeSverre: lol geek fights are funny
noobscratcher: lol
HelgeSverre: your mom sucks so much she use win32 API's
noobscratcher:
noobscratcher: QT fails
HelgeSverre: QT ftw!
noobscratcher: wxwidgets ftw
HelgeSverre: I use Code::Blocks 10.05, Notepad++, Visual Basic 2010(pirated for lolz) maguma studio(php)
noobscratcher: i do ruby code inside notepad++
noobscratcher: microsoft visual c++ for most c++ applications but im thinking of switching to code::blocks
HelgeSverre: What IDE do you use faggzet ?
HelgeSverre: lol..
noobscratcher: im drinking rootbear
noobscratcher: lol
HelgeSverre: real men write BEER!
noobscratcher: okay so what a video editor then?
HelgeSverre: games are for pussys
HelgeSverre: or ... HAHA!
noobscratcher: mate go make a 3d opengl game engine then come back to me
HelgeSverre: i know HTML, a bit of CSS, Batch(oh yes batch), python, java, c++, visual basic AND fortran so fuck you!
noobscratcher: nice one helge but i kno how to write text in ruby html and c++ and always could learn others lol god i brag to much i honestly am proud of you man
HelgeSverre: while ( noobscratcher == faggot) { remove(noobscratcher) } return 0;
noobscratcher: #include <iostream> using namespace std; int main () { cout<< "hello world" return 0; }
HelgeSverre: http : / / cachedump . webs. com/ programming / suck it up
HelgeSverre: noobscratcher
noobscratcher: im the biggest geek in the world i know how to write a simple c++ application |
#305987* (?/24) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Pikula> I had to reboot my computer cuz msn wasn't working. Found out that my date and time is wrong |
#305988* (?/34) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
OnionKnight: would you rather be eddie izzard or fuck eddie izzard?
blue_tetris: Be.
OnionKnight: Quick answer.
blue_tetris: Yep.
OnionKnight: good choice
OnionKnight: but know that you're going to have to fuck dave if you're eddie izzard
blue_tetris: Wait.
blue_tetris: Why would I have to fuck Dave?
blue_tetris: Dave just wants to be me, not fuck me.
OnionKnight: Because you're Eddie Izzard?
OnionKnight: Are you paying attention?
blue_tetris: It would be funnier with multiple players.
blue_tetris: "I wanna be Eddie Izzard." "I wanna fuck Eddie Izzard, but only after you're Eddie Izzard."
blue_tetris: "I wanna be Eddie Izzard after him, and after you've finished fucking him."
OnionKnight: Hahaha
blue_tetris: It's like that movie, where they fuck John Malkovich.
blue_tetris: Ever played marry, fuck, kill?
OnionKnight: Yesterday, with Yahoozy, with relation to southpaw, Vyacheslav, and Life247.
OnionKnight: Both of us thought we had definitive answers but we were different in our responses.
blue_tetris: Marry, fuck, kill. Eddie Izzard, Living George Carlin, Billy West.
OnionKnight: Living George Carlin?
OnionKnight: D:
blue_tetris: Yeah, as opposed to the regular dead one.
OnionKnight: Yeah.
OnionKnight: I was hoping for Corpse Carlin.
blue_tetris: Haha.
OnionKnight: It would help the Kill decision.
blue_tetris: Choosing to kill the re-alive George Carlin would be in bad taste.
OnionKnight: Marry Billy West -- Each day would be like fucking somebody new.
OnionKnight: Kill Izzard, Fuck Carlin
blue_tetris: Billy West is like the man of a million penises.
blue_tetris: I wish I could think of women for this game, but there's no famous women I care about.
OnionKnight: i wouldn't mine fucking natalie portman
blue_tetris: I wouldn't mind killing Sarah Silverman.
OnionKnight: yeah
OnionKnight: def
OnionKnight: def
OnionKnight: def
OnionKnight: i think i could marry janeane garafallolaolo because i feel like our relationship is already that of a married couple |
#306018* (?/30) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
* OzoneNerd isn't here. PlagueRat should feel free to talk about his books.
< nathan7> OzoneNerd: I read that as 'PlagueRat should feel free to talk about his boobs.'
< monoprotic> that too
< OzoneNerd> I'd like that too.Comment: ##chemistry @ freenode
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#306070* (?/30) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Ginger starts to take her pants off
<Ginger> i'm taking pants off
<Nandrew> that wasn't really gonna be awkward but now it is.
<Ginger> Nah it won't
<Nandrew> Yea it is
<Giner> okay "I'm not taking my pants off" |
#306087* (?/22) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<complex> i watched a clockwork orange the other night
<complex> that was pretty good
<locutox> ive seen half of that
<locutox> i got bored
<locutox> needs more rape |
#306109* (?/24) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<BronzeBeard> hey, I've seen broke back mountain, i know what you mid-westerners do
<DragonM> Do tell. I haven't seen it, so I don't know what we do.
<BronzeBeard> well it starts out like this
<BronzeBeard> ( i)
<BronzeBeard> then it's like *purrt* ( i)~~ D8
<BronzeBeard> then c):-D "virgin ass"
<BronzeBeard> then ( o ) (|===8
<DragonM> Saw that coming...
<BronzeBeard> and ((==8
<DragonM> One liner ascii pr0n. Only on IRC...
<BronzeBeard> and then like ((===8 ((=8 ((===8 ((=8 ((===8 ((=8 ((===8 ((=8 ((===8
<BronzeBeard> finally it ends like this: :o ~(|===8
<BronzeBeard> ~,~;
<BronzeBeard> FinComment: #ogre3d office topic
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#306140* (?/26) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<denysonique> dev-lang/v8... -- '_AND_PROFILING -DENABLE_DEBUGGER_SUPPORT -Isrc -Isrc test/cctest/gay-fixed.cc
<denysonique> i686-pc-linux-gnu-g++ -o obj/test/release/gay-precision.o'
<denysonique> is there a -no-gay use flag? I am not a gay, I don'ts won't gay fixed or gay compiled package
<denysonique> -gay I mean |
#306179* (?/24) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<~miek|shop> 1 = (dongs*5/x)
<~miek|shop> SOLVE FOR DONGS
<Jaek|7540> lolz
<Jaek|7540> >multiple variables
<~miek|shop> paste that to your class and tell them to solve for dongs
<Jaek|7540> that equation has multiple answers
<~miek|shop> i know
<Jaek|7540> dongs could be any number depending on what "x" is :P
<Jaek|7540> DONGS COULD EQUAL 1337
<~miek|shop> furthermore, dongs is always going to be equal to x
<~miek|shop> because 1
<~miek|shop> is answer
<~miek|shop> nowait
<~miek|shop> did i break it
<~miek|shop> oh yeah
<Jaek|7540> lol
<~miek|shop> x is going to be
<~miek|shop> 5 times dongs
<~miek|shop> derp
<Jaek|7540> this is a ridiculous conversation.
<Jaek|7540> :P
<~miek|shop> lol
<Jaek|7540> imagine a math professor looking at us going "X is equal to 5 times dongs"
<~miek|shop> its an awesome conversation
<~miek|shop> lol
<Jaek|7540> math would be so much more awesome if variables were pervy body parts
<~miek|shop> lol yeah
<Jaek|7540> "Boobies^2sqrt(goatse+2)=dongs+2(cunt/ass)
<~miek|shop> so really there aren't multiple answers, there is one constant answer
<~miek|shop> dongs = x*5
<~miek|shop> er
<~miek|shop> m
<~miek|shop> i wrote that backwards
<Jaek|7540> lol
<~miek|shop> dongs = x/5
<~miek|shop> is the answer
<~miek|shop> YOU GET AN F
<Jaek|7540> lol
<Jaek|7540> yes, that is the answer, but if we wanted dongs to equal a real number...
<~miek|shop> yeah
<~miek|shop> that
<Jaek|7540> technically I am still correct }:A
<~miek|shop> lolalgebraComment: #wtfpwnt on irc.rubbermallet.org
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#306192* (?/34) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<HAL9000> so orwell, I've been stealing from a charity food drive bin
<HAL9000> does that make me a bad person
<DJOrwell> yes it does
<DJOrwell> that's pretty pathetic
<DJOrwell> are you really that poor?
<DJOrwell> what have you been stealing
<HAL9000> easy macs
<DJOrwell> oh
<DJOrwell> go for it
<DJOrwell> don't get caught
<HAL9000> nothing gross like shitty popcorn or anything, i usually put that in the bin
<DJOrwell> i mean if you were stealing like
<DJOrwell> actual canned food
<DJOrwell> that would be pretty shitty
<HAL9000> ew no
<HAL9000> why the fuck would i do that
<DJOrwell> but I don't think poor people should get easy macs
<HAL9000> i only take the good stuffComment: #mindprobe on esper.net
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#306237* (?/40) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
@januszeal: Please select the youngest age and the oldest age that you would currently (for yourself) find acceptable for a long-term partner.
+julius: januszeal: put in 8 and 9 |
#306309* (?/36) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
== Gamerbad [webchat@1337-7C00684E.enivest.net] has joined #Toribash
<Niki-busy> my dick
<Gamerbad> is small
<Niki-busy> :(
<Gamerbad> :)Comment: #toribash@irc.toribash.com
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#306313* (?/38) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Tanjoodo_iPod> I used to use mIRC
<Tanjoodo_iPod> But I realized once the trial was over that paying for IRC is worse than paying for sex. |
#306324* (?/26) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<epidemic>Mila Jovovich is a legalisation campaigner, btw
<ME-tan>multigrassComment: irc.420chan.org
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#306333* (?/32) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Stranger: where u from?
You: Earth, of course.
Stranger: almost like et
Stranger: util he found his real home
Stranger: intil**
You: hm
Stranger: until*
You: 'cept ET wasn't born here :P
Stranger: interesting, but he may have been dazed upon his collision with earth to the point where he wood second guess himself and question wut is real and wut isnt, fact or fiction.
You: sort of like getting drunk and going "holy shit i think i'm in the matrix"
Stranger: or some good drugs and ur actually in the matrix
You: or the matrix IS the drug
You: oh damn, got some deep thinking here
You: it's like, totally the Matrix maaaaan
Stranger: wut if et was in th matrix? :o
You: wait
You: even better
You: what if the Matrix was in ET?
You: damnit, we could be living inside ET!
Stranger: then he wood need some serious medical attention
You: even as we speak!
Stranger: is matrix et?
You: wait no
You: ET is a drug which is the Matrix
Stranger: et tabs?! :o
You: my god, friggin, we gotta tell scientists this
You: they'll be all "Mind=Blown"
You: entire research labs will explode from the realization of the truth
Stranger: or go underground and sell to al the regular druggies and re-inforce our own policy that they now have to purchase there fix from us, and with a catchy name like et everybody will be hooked
Stranger: i gtg get this idea moving bye!
You: hell yeah
You: good luck, my good man!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.Comment: Omegle
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#306408* (?/36) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<EnglishIvy> Keffiyehs are hideous.
<EnglishIvy> And anybody who wears one is a tool.
<JackMackerel> Even in sandstorms?
<JackMackerel> AND THE MIDDLE EAST~?
<Tseng> "middle east" should not be suffixed with a tilde
<GMH> ENTIRE MIDDLE EAST IS OOTACO
<GMH> ...if only.
<GMH> "Gaza is our land!"
<GMH> "No, Gaza is OURS!"
<GMH> "HEY YOU TWO, NEW HARUHI DVDS!"
<Puffin> Gaza~n |
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