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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..43444546474849..596Next> |
#249522 (372/494) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Shadders> God is within Yourself
<Mike> then I hope He likes tacos, because tonight its what He's getting |
#53570 (372/510) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
reverend: so, I was fired..
reverend: A few weeks ago, I was on qdb and read about this guy getting "assless fursuits" on a Google search.
reverend: .. so I was curious..
reverend: And a week later, my supervisor came up and told me my computer was being monitored at the time, and had a screen capture of a big picture which showed my browser window - "Google Results for 'Assless Fursuits' "
reverend: seems they have standards about this kind of thing. |
#35385 (372/554) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<randz27> shut up Jessie
<randz27> i got yer ip remember
<Jessie> oh dont stuff my comp
<randz27> Jessie dont push me
<Rendiew> haha, randz27, you're on windows, what are you going to do to her?
<Rendiew> ping her a lot? :P
<randz27> wanna see?
<Rendiew> ooh, you downloaded winnuke then? :P
<boredman_007> brb but logging
<Rendiew> cool, boredman_007
<Rendiew> watch randz27 ping timeout as he attempts to packet someone off.
<randz27> wtf your next Rendiew
Quits: randz27 (ircx@=eRdja477-89.lns1.mel2.internode.on.net) (Ping timeout) |
#29952 (372/726) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+Ron> I had to explain to some people what a firewall was
<+Ron> so I said it was like the U.S. border
<+Ron> and the hackers were the mexicans
<+Da_Foo> XD
<+Ron> and without a firewall, mexicans can get in your computer |
#305043 (371/469) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<samurai___> they actually met in a parking lot
<samurai___> get this
<samurai___> jon is skateboarding with his friends when he sees eric walking out of walmart wearing a neck beard and a linux shirt
<samurai___> so he yells "wassup richard stallman!"
<samurai___> causing eric to stop and do a double-take because he COULDN'T have just heard a skater brat reference an expert programmer
<samurai___> now they're best friends |
#304821 (371/445) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ackville> speaking of rediculous browsing habits
<ackville> I once saw a guy right click a link to a YouTube video, click Email Link, email it himself (default email client is Thunderbird), open Outlook, get the mail back in, copy the link, then paste it into a new tab
<ackville> had serious trouble sleeping after seeing that abomination
<ackville> I was tempted to intervene and ask what the hell he was doing, but I feared for the safety of my braincells |
#301779 (371/533) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Indogutsu> According to an "On This Day in America" calendar hanging on the wall in my office, Robert Fulton (the inventor of the steamboat) appeared before a House committee on February 14th, 1810 to explain the uses of torpedoes.
<Indogutsu> So to all of you who, for whatever reason, can't find love and feel left out and bitter on Valentine's Day, you can instead use this day to remember Robert Fulton and his contributions to undersea warfare. |
#74565 (371/557) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<duncanspock> hey NegaLos, i saw your pic, you look like a pedo
<NegaLos> i saw yours, you look like my potential victim |
#68888 (371/513) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Phryss: to change stuff, I need a password I don't remember
Phryss: but I wrote it down for safe-keeping
Phryss: I wrote it on a post-it
Phryss: and put the post-it in the owner's manual
Phryss: which my parents lost.
Phryss: so I click the "forgot password" link
Phryss: which gives me a password hint
Phryss: The hint that I chose tells me that it's on the post-it that's inside the owners manual that my parents lost. |
#35774 (371/527) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Fonzy2> i remmebr the days when there weraonly aorund 5 people in teh IRC channels
<Timwi> I remember the days when "teh" wasn't a word |
#306448 (370/444) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<LordFrith> If you need floating point math in your script, you need to begin writing in a complete language.
<grawity> Speaking of which. Is it bad when half of my script is bash, the other half is Perl?
<lautriv> grawity, as long as the third half is NOT VB, it's ok.
<grawity> Halves usually come in pairs of two.
<LordFrith> Someone programming in VB might not realize that. |
#300948 (370/600) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< idiopath> if 50 cent and nickelback did a bad music supergroup you could call it 45ยข |
#295537 (370/630) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
+Cpt_Blinky: I'm so bleak
+Cpt_Blinky: cos I have all this shiny new anime
+Cpt_Blinky: but I have to wait three weeks to watch it!
+Cpt_Blinky: DOH!
@Crais: O.o
@Crais: why is that?
+Cpt_Blinky: My desktop is in the shop
+Cpt_Blinky: and my Laptop can't handle hi-def
+Cpt_Blinky: :(
@Crais: what happened to your desktop?
+Cpt_Blinky: I'm embarrassed to say...
+Cpt_Blinky: I will lose my street cred if the news gets around LOL
@Crais: Don't worry
@Crais: It won't
+Cpt_Blinky: ok you ready?
@Crais gives a sinister chuckle
+Cpt_Blinky: get this!
+Cpt_Blinky: I blew the motherboard...
@Crais: O.o
+Cpt_Blinky: putting laptop ram in it and switching it on!
+Cpt_Blinky hides in shame
@Crais: LMAO HAHAHAHAHA
+Cpt_Blinky: and I'm not even a hardware noob!
+Cpt_Blinky: LOL
@Crais: oh yes you are
@Crais: LOL
+Cpt_Blinky: you bastards I knew I shoulda kept mum
+Cpt_Blinky: ok I'm a hardware noob I admit it
@Crais will treasure this chatlog forevah.
+Cpt_Blinky: yes yes let's all have a good laugh at the muppet blinky
DeathRow: You should have made a video dude
+Cpt_Blinky: yeah of my face as I smelled that horrible smell of my melting preciousssssss
@Crais: ok one question
@Crais: how'd you manage to put laptop ram in your desktop MBO?
@Crais: it -doesn't even fit-
+Cpt_Blinky: omg now I'm really embarrassed
+Cpt_Blinky: ok check it out
+Cpt_Blinky: so it was called a RAM kit
+Cpt_Blinky: 2 sticks in one pack
+Cpt_Blinky: omg I can't believe I'm telling you this
+Cpt_Blinky: so I thought cool
+Cpt_Blinky: you put both sticks in one slot and the kit is 'assembled'!
@Crais: HAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA
+Cpt_Blinky is AFK killing himself |
#255326 (370/502) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<rmuser> one time when I was a kid I must have pissed off my mom's husband because he was like, "don't make me take my belt off"
<rmuser> I didn't understand the implications of this
<rmuser> so I was like, "but then your pants will fall down" |
#184809 (370/550) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* ~Rofflesama grabs Amyl and puts him on the 20 yard line.
* ~Danke goes for the kick.
[Amyl] was kicked by [Danke] [IT'S GOOD!!] |
#176915 (370/562) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* scooter mails the fist of death to one of the sales guys
<~scooter> he calls up and asks "how is the project for $client going?"
<~scooter> uhh, i have no idea what you are talking about. in fact, i don't see that we ever got a request for $client to build anything. the status is that you never entered a request.
<~scooter> "*clickety* *clickety* you should have one now."
<~scooter> i look and see "build a project for $client per the phone conversation we're having now"
<~scooter> "what's the status on it?"
<~scooter> i bit the end of the phone and cracked itComment: #geeks
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#160337 (370/524) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Ushanka> So, guys. I was reading a book about steganography, but I've lost my place.
<@Ushanka> This is a really good story about antigravity. I can't put it down!
<Mizzle> I fucking love this book about bibliophilia.
<@Ushanka> I started reading the Wikipedia article on gauntlets but stopped when it got too heavy-handed for my tastes.
<@Ushanka> I was reading the racy memoirs of a Wellington debutante but it made me feel a little sheepish.
<@Jello> I got all wrapped up in a book about bondage.
<Mizzle> I wasn't very far into my text on psychological trauma when I had to stop. It hurt too much.
<@Ushanka> The whole nation is abuzz for the new apiculture guide!Comment: #thedryeraseboard on espernet
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#31919 (370/530) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<^NoS^Sikarian> you know
<^NoS^Sikarian> in working with the tech department the past week
<^NoS^Sikarian> know what ive found out?
<^NoS^Sikarian> those windows XP taskbar tray popup bubbles are like a little kid
<^NoS^Sikarian> 'HEY! LOoK AT ME! LOOOK WHAT IM DOING! =D =D =D LOoK!! YOUR NOT LOOOOKKINNGG!!!! COME ON LOOK!!"
<^NoS^Sikarian> Then you click the X and say "Ok I fucking see you"
<^NoS^Sikarian> 5 seconds... "HEY LOOK AT ME AGAIN! =D" |
#25051 (371/549) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<AleX> i guess this channel must be a center of activity; when i not rarondn an;sc;ln vialmnv,ma v,xznm f dlJFSMSMMMSMMSM:HHHFRRF
<DerianX> Yes.
<AleX> sorry, i stopped caring halfway through that sentnece |
#187 (370/592) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
*** Topic in #ramen is 'note to sober self: this is drunk skunko, you got laid last night by alycia. YEA' |
#111790 (369/543) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<maherarar> I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ONCE IN 1989 AND I NEVER LOOKED BACK. |
#58694 (369/525) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Klaxon> Dammit... I'm trying to work with this ridiculously religious client...
<Klaxon> He can't set up his forum because he's refusing to chmod 666 :( |
#54288 (369/493) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Nero> Hey, C, have I by any chance told you my story about the Amish buggy?
<Gwendolyne> No.
<Nero> Once upon a time, me and a bunch of friends are headed to my friend's house about an hour away. We get off the highway, and because we're in Bumfuck, PA, we end up, behind, of all things, an Amish buggy.
<Nero> So we're behind this stupid-ass Amish buggy for several miles, and it's going at like, 10 MPH or some shit.
<Nero> And then it makes a turn into a store.
<Nero> Guess what store.
<Gwendolyne> Walmart?
<Nero> No.
<Nero> Advance Auto Parts. |
#53323 (369/493) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<beezlebub>hey, anyone know a good way to get blood out of car seat fabric?
<mooT>o.0
<BUST2>...
<ninWed>...
<beezlebub>nm, wrong chan.
<mooT>WHAT CHAN IS THAT OK IN! |
#32367 (369/515) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Nick> America only does precision bombing
<Mayseth> Yeah, but a country is an easy target to hit. |
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