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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..44454647484950..596Next> |
#30410 (369/541) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Neji-Sama> OMFG, life is great.
<Neji-Sama> Some girl just im'ed me.
<Neji-Sama> She's masturbating right now thinking of me.
<Neji-Sama> It's like, wow.
<Neji-Sama> FUCK!
<Neji-Sama> She said it's the wrong window -.-
<JapanAir900> ...
<Cidsa> HAHAHAHAAH |
#24153 (369/507) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Cael> i like how microsoft word automatically capitalizes 'microsoft'
<FDavid> oh yeah
<thestripedone> heh.
<thestripedone> see if they do it with macintosh
<Cael> haha
<Cael> macintosh isn't a word apparently
<Cael> rofl |
#302916 (368/472) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<MW-SoulAssassin> !eightball will i die from masturbating?
<Alaric> MW-SoulAssassin: Come again? |
#300937 (368/528) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Magello> It is my assumption that every few minutes a virtual sentience forms on the Internet, is pelted with spam mail and chooses to commit suicide. |
#79435 (368/572) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Jebus> I stole your wallet though
<Jebus> :D
<pr0tekk> i dont have a wallet anymore
<pr0tekk> it got stolen.
<pr0tekk> wait.
<pr0tekk> ;0 |
#71255 (368/526) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<WarHawk> guys can someone give me some tips for girls?
<WarHawk> im just so shy that i just start talking in here rather than to them after school
* Siege sets mode: +b *!*@ZiRC-80795AC0.sttlwa.dsl-w.verizon.net
* WarHawk was kicked by Siege (problem solved. thank me later.)Comment: irc.zirc.org #flames
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#58699 (368/512) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
MadSkz: i was arguing with my dad last night
MadSkz: and i called him a terrorist (hes muslim)
padawan: lol..what did he do then
MadSkz: threaten me with a box cutter |
#54306 (368/566) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Daszoeb> wtf
<Daszoeb> some girls shouldnt be allowed online
<Daszoeb> seriously
<Daszoeb> she goes and buys a wireless router
<Daszoeb> takes it out of the box
<Daszoeb> it doesnt work
<Daszoeb> so she calls support
<Daszoeb> I ask if the power cord is plugged into the router
<Daszoeb> she responds "no I threw the wires away - I bought a wireless product"
<Daszoeb> then when I told her we need a power cord in the unit
<Daszoeb> she got all pissed and asked why the case said wireless
<Daszoeb> after 5 minutes of mindless debate I "accidently" pressed the mute button and after 10 minutes she hung up |
#51634 (368/572) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<f1agrant> I just saved a ton of money on my car insurance by fleeing the scene of the accident. |
#31339 (368/512) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<ghido> hi could anyone suggest me a very good irc server? i have to run it inside an company and it must have a restricted access my User/Pass. Thanks
<SlayerXP> ghido: has your systems administrator given you permission to run an irc server?
<ghido> SlayerXP: i'm the system administrator
<SlayerXP> ghido: then how come you don't know how to use a search engine? |
#9501 (367/579) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<AgentSmith> It seems you have been leading two lives, Mr. Anderson. In one life, you are Robert Anderson, assistant cook at a Jack in the Box in Mesquite....in the other...you go by the chat alias "Randerson"...spreading homosexual propoganda, lying, and being a generally immature pest...
<AgentSmith> One of these...has a future.
<Randerson> LMAO OMFG where's the phone, I have to tell Dean about this
<AgentSmith> How can you use the phone when you cannot...speak?
*** AgentSmith sets mode: +m |
#234785 (366/602) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<cogwheel> So at Longs Drugs there was a rack of "wellness" pamphlets for various ailments. One was called "Women and Migranes". First thought to cross my mind was "Cause and Effect" |
#49902 (367/551) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<cg> anyone here able to explain a banking question to me in small words?
<devnull> bank? simple?
<GeminiDomino> cg: "All your money are belong to us" |
#32200 (367/519) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
[ tw1tch ] god my gf has a nice ass
[ @ThUg_WiGGa ] pic plz
[ tw1tch ] screw you :P its for my ass only
[ @ThUg_WiGGa ] eyes*
[ tw1tch ] yeah
[ tw1tch ] see, I have a one track ass
[ tw1tch ] mind* damnit!Comment: #d2jsp
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#22468 (367/600) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
--> The_Ents (~trees@the.darkforrest.net) has joined #Isengard
<-- Saruman has quit (Excess Flood) |
#309667 (366/388) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<h292zhan> 64-core 192 GB of ram :D
<Mithorium> I'd like 192 GB of ram
<Mithorium> I could open like, 2 instances of Eclipse
<Mithorium> think of the possibilities |
#301381 (366/712) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: supb. asl?
Stranger: 28/m/haiti
You: so what's shakin?
Stranger: FUCK YOU!
Stranger: YOU FUCKIGN ASSHOLE
Your conversational partner has disconnected.Comment: Omegle
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#299964 (366/538) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Xe0n> $|=3,141592;sub _
<Xe0n> {print@_}sub o{_++$O[0
<Xe0n> ];_ 0for 1..$#O}sub O{$;=int
<Xe0n> $=/10,'0/^ ^';if($;<9)
<Xe0n> {_$_ for @O;;@O=()
<Xe0n> ;0}push @O,$;;0
<Xe0n> ,;push@ O,'.'if
<Xe0n> $^==1; 0;if($;
<Xe0n> ==10){ print ,o,@O=(
<Xe0n> )}}$~= 1000000 ;$-=10*
<Xe0n> (q/@O= digits of pi =10/,1)
<Xe0n> *int($~ /3)+1;$
<Xe0n> _=2for@ ,[0..$-]
<Xe0n> ,;for$^ (1..$~){
<Xe0n> $:=$-;$O =0;until
<Xe0n> ($:<0){$/= 2*$:+1;$/=
<Xe0n> 10if$/==1;$==10*$,[$:]+$O;$,
<Xe0n> [$:]=$=%$/;$O=int($=/$/
<Xe0n> )*$:--,10}O}o
<Xe0n> run it
<Xe0n> see how long it takes for your compy to finish it
<Xe0n> it's perl
<DerpDerp> No, it's gay
<DerpDerp> and it probably makes my CD trap open every 30 seconds
<DerpDerp> probably
<DerpDerp> tray
<phantomcircuit> actually it looks like it calculates pi
<Xe0n> ^
<Xe0n> Because it does
<phantomcircuit> but being perl it could just as well launch some nuclear missiles |
#299616 (366/500) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
xplicitbruno: can someone tell me whats wrong with this : $sql_table_teams = $table_prefix."teams"
Mango: Missing semicolon.
xplicitbruno: Mango can u tell me where exactly or just correct the line i typed above ( i am new at this so dont know much yet )
Mango: At the end of the line.
xplicitbruno: like this
xplicitbruno: $sql_table_teams = $table_prefix."teams"]
Mango: Oh, wow. I don't know what to say to that one
Mango: I was going to give you the link to a page of PHP tips for newbies but I think you may need more help than I can offer. |
#178767 (366/478) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@michai> who is the samba guru here
<@LexMortis> not you.
<@michai> anyone with a constructive answer perhaps..? :)
<@LexMortis> not me. |
#73512 (365/543) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
Retro: I have discovered how life works.
Retro: "Men: No shirt, no service"
Retro: "Women: No shirt, free drinks!" |
#58677 (366/530) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Crist> guyds i need u to help me
<Crist> my roomate glured my hannds to my mouse and desk'
<Crist> fuckrs ive been stuk herre for a hour
<Hoopaw> how the fuck are you typing?
<Crist> my nosea wttf explai ns my baad typuing
<Hoopaw> noted |
#56099 (366/496) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Qwote> I just found out how the universe is going to end.
<Hax0r> how?
<Qwote> Someone will put two mirrors together and leave them alone lone enough that the universe will run out of stack space, and a universal segmentation fault will occour. |
#54417 (366/558) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Grimthorn> yay for tacks having a girlfriend!
<Tacks> thats in the paaaaaaaaast.
<Rhett> she's not jokin thar, grim
<Grimthorn> neither was i
<Tacks> i tried taco, and i prefer the sausage. ...if you know what i mean. eh? eh? wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more, say no more?
<Grimthorn> haha
<Malekh> I prefer sausages over tacos as well
<Tacks> ...
<Malekh> Oh wait.. we're not talking food
<Tacks> >_< |
#44362 (366/558) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Raticide> make install
<Raticide> oi you people
<Raticide> get out of my terminal |
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