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#30383 (366/502) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<animus> Anyone else ever notice that with each new release of an image editor it becomes harder harder to draw a circle?
#8 (367/1115) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<DigDug> i think i'm gonna walk to the movie theater and see dinosaur...
<kimy-> and be surrounded by like 10 year old girls?
<Amanda_> He said Dinosaur, not N'Sync.
#303622 (365/673) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Mike: "now that you all are awake. are there  anyone who can help with my problem?  I have compressed my important  files with md5sum. how do I decompress them ?"
#59753 (364/686) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Calamarain> Idiot. Someone told me that Schindler's list was a "box of tissues film"
<Calamarain> What a load of crap
<Calamarain> I only jerked off once.
#59188 (365/491) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<phlip> I wear it from time to time... I don't usually think about what I'm wearing, just whichever shirt is on top of the pile ;)
<lisa> lol
<lisa> typical male i see
<phlip> well, it makes more sense than the alternative...
<phlip> I mean, who picks the shirt from the bottom of the pile every day? that's just stupid
#46655 (365/497) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<%PortoRob> i had a lot of spare time in algebra
<%spock1104> lol
<%PortoRob> i also made programs that did out the problems for you, and sold them to people in the class
<%PortoRob> they would try and cheat me though and only one would buy it and transfer it to others
<%PortoRob> so I developed a copyright system on TI83
<%PortoRob> it involved hidden lists and keys
<%spock1104> there's a way to limit it to the calculator ID
<%PortoRob> and if you didn't have the right key, all of the answers were just random numbers
<%PortoRob> the first test i did that on, people weren't very happy with me
Comment: #WPI
#35233 (365/623) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<J3anyus> sweet jesus i need to get motivated to finish up this semester.  there's only 3 weeks left and i just can't get the motivation to go to class or do homework or anything :(
<GeechyAFK> Con someone into giving you a blowjob for every passing grade you receive
<J3anyus> brb, calling mom
#305962 (364/468) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Joh> I had a friend who was crazy
<Joh> Once, randomly, while we were in town he walked up to a man waiting outside a shop and asked him
<Joh> "Hi, I just want to know how well the anti-memory serum worked, can you remember the number your sister told you yesterday?"
<Joh> The man says "I don't have a sister"
<Joh> My friend looks all serious then says "Damn, it worked too well."
<Joh> This man gave him the weirdest look, then my friend walked off.
#304098 (363/479) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Eltu> "The main idea of "Inception": if you run a VM inside a VM inside a VM inside a VM, everything will be very slow"
#289288 (364/592) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[middle of december]
<Wuffles> I just got my subscription confirmation for my MySQL course of November, 24
<Wuffles> How about that for timely delivery
<wouter> Wuffles: lol.
<wouter> thats quite early if its for next year. :)
<Wuffles> it isn't, alas :-)
<Wuffles> wouter: it gets better: the young lady answered that it was because they had trouble with their database :-D
#257305 (364/680) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<&Axe> I would like to congratulate my wife on her successful breast-reduction operation.
<&Axe> It was only a bit of backache, you selfish bitch.
#86110 (364/514) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Stueh> Hehe, in Aus the legal age is 18 and no one cares, just as long as you say you're over 18 :P
<Stueh> I walked into a store when I was 14 to buy smokes, and the guy looks at me and, instead of asking how old I was, he was like "What's your birthday?" and I gave the answer I'm used to "5th Febuary, 1989." Then just thought "FUCK!"
<Stueh> He then looked me up and down and goes: "You know, if you go outside and run around the block four times, you'll be four years older "
<Stueh> So I went out for 10 minutes, came back in, he asked me my birthday, I said 1985, and he sold to me :)
<Stueh> Welcome to Australia! :)
#70743 (364/546) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Flaim> headlines:
<Flaim> > New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
#59538 (364/536) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<NiKz> Guess what my bf got me last night!
<Omi> Pregnant?
#56912 (364/526) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<HajuuNOT-NZ> im going on a date tommorow :/
<HajuuNOT-NZ> not sure why
<cai> Parents haven't had that talk with you yet, I see
#56423 (364/520) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(Nick) hahah wtf
(Nick) girl on tv singing
(Nick) "id like to dedicate this song to my parents. i wouldnt be here tonight without them."
(Nick) NO SHIT LADY
#49278 (364/506) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<OrangeKitten> Why the fuck does a search for 'assless fursuit' bring up 'What should I wear for my job interview?'?
#48752 (364/532) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<RiPz> my uni has signs up in text and in braile
<RiPz> hlf the signs re just printed though
<RiPz> so theyre's just series of dots
<RiPz> in braile configurtion
<RiPz> but its still flat
#235397 (363/497) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Smidge204> Asperger's syndrome is most commonly contracted by reading the Wikipedia article on Asperger's syndrome.
#49170 (363/535) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Twin`> teacher spelled his name wring
<Twin`> wrong
<|silicon> nice how irony stepped in ther
<|silicon> e
<|silicon> dammit
#49032 (363/541) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@feem> i had someone claim to me the other day that pi was the longest irrational number in existence
<@feem> and someone else said no e was
<@feem> and i stared at them
#48434 (363/533) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Seraphina> it is so cool to watch a snake eat something that is 4 times the size of its head
<Seraphina> I wish I could unhinge my jaw so I could fit huge things in my mouth.
<Seraphina> gah
<Seraphina> wait
#32952 (363/525) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Monty> Question challenge #9272: what us state includes the telephone
area code 602
<azz> ibot area code 602
<iBot> i think area code 602 is Phoenix, Arizona
<Monty> Winner was iBot with the correct answer: arizona
#32280 (363/511) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+Ralan> atkins works not because its a good diet, because people who are on it burn so much energy because they can't shut the fuck up about being on atkins
#30938 (363/531) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Caffeine> i was dared to go buy lube
<Caffeine> so i went with my best friend/housemate and talked about double ended dildos while hugging her in the checkout line with ky in my hand
<Caffeine> the cashier asked me 'how was your day'
<Caffeine> i said 'it will be better once i get this hunny home'
<Caffeine> her jaw dropped
Comment: Caffeine is female.
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