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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..46474849505152..596Next> |
#29839 (363/503) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<aykroyd> the worst "i feel old" moment is when you realize the playmate of the month was born in a year you clearly remember |
#9370 (363/536) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<stank> guys.. i went out tonight.
<stank> i pretended to be a normal college student.
<stank> and i stood uncomfortably on a porch with a bunch of people i don't know.
<stank> but then i ran into bill and will, who were pretending in the same way.
<stank> so we talked about networks and i felt better. |
#139721 (362/568) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<justin> shipped mah package
<justin> if you know what I mean
<jake> Shipping must have been cheap
<jake> if you know what I mean |
#112136 (362/676) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Thalagyrt> i've just brought it up in the admin board, i'll give it a few days for people to discuss
<Sam> Cool.
<Thalagyrt> then i'll let you know and you can decide if you want to help out or not :p
<Sam> thanks.
<Thalagyrt> there will be an initiation ceremony involving a goat, three frogs, a crooked wooden stick, and a condom
<Sam> I'm not a fan of condoms.
<Sam> I'll go without.
<Sam> The rest is fine.
<Thalagyrt> okay. |
#49903 (362/532) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<mrmitch> question
<ObsidianX> answer
<ObsidianX> man, that was easy |
#25612 (363/521) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Tracer[Quoting]> a friend of mine told me once that he is so unlucky that if he would fall into a barrel of nipples, he would come out sucking his thumb
<eelhovercraft> The concept of a barrel full of nipples frightens me |
#2999 (362/530) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<kyourek> There was a 23% drop in temperature.
<nappyjallapy> That's almost 25%!
<kyourek> ... That was one of the most worthless comments I've ever heard. |
#301012 (361/505) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<gloomp> isaacx, I have a challenge for you!
<isaacx> what?
<gloomp> Try going ten lines without using a question mark!
<isaacx> my lines?
<isaacx> or in total? |
#294943 (361/615) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<freyja> lmao a friend of mine sent me a link to a discussion on an icelandic forum for women
<freyja> this one is talking about her msn buddy, who said he just met Izzy Stradlin and Steven Adler (whoever they are), and wanted to show her on webcam the merchandise he got autographed and stuff
<edkletz> They were in Guns'N'Roses
<freyja> so she gets really excited, wants to see it, accepts the webcam, and there he sits naked with a huge boner and no souvenirs
<edkletz> "Surprise!"
<freyja> yeah surprise lol
<edkletz> Hey, wanna see my webcam?
<freyja> NO |
#279961 (361/549) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<EricTheRed-> i just got a great idea, i can use my laptop to keep my pizza warm
<EricTheRed-> just put the box under the laptop and compile something
<`WarpKat> ... |
#78388 (361/477) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<ed> customer: "i have a pentium 4-R CPU, is that a good CPU?"
<ed> me: 'sir, there's no such thing as a pentium 4-R.'
<ed> customer: "so you mean you don't know about the pentium 4-R."
<ed> me: 'i mean that the pentium 4-R does not exist.'
<ed> customer: "dude, don't try to belittle me, i know more than you. i have one, i know it exists, i just wanted to know if it was a good CPU or not."
<ed> me: 'sir, with all due respect, intel introducing a "pentium-4-r" should have made enough of a splash in the industry for me to notice.'
<ed> finally he gets me to pull out a CPU to show me
<ed> on the chip engraving, it says:
<ed> PENTIUM (R) 4
<ed> he goes: "SEE! PENTIUM 4 R!!!"
<ed> me: .... |
#60287 (361/535) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Elly> hmm
<Elly> how expensive are 3ds max and photoshop?
<Eldritch> free :P
<Elly> no seriously
<Eldritch> I am serious
<Elly> why would photoshop be free?
<Elly> 3ds max definitely isn't free
<[Bond]> free.
<Eldritch> Elly bitrorrent
<[Bond]> heh
<Elly> I want a legit copy
<Eldritch> oh lol what for?
<Elly> Photoshop CS2 is $650
<Elly> who are they kidding
<Elly> I'm not buying that
* Elly fires up BitTorrent |
#58795 (361/511) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Apollo> Ugh, I was looking at this one animal porn site, and the chick blowing the dog spit out what looked like melted ice cream. Dog cum doesnt look like that, it's clear, ffs.
<Trinexx> Two things wrong with that
<Trinexx> 1) Why the hell are you looking at animal porn?
<Trinexx> 2) How the FUCK do you know what dog cum looks like?
<Apollo> uh... would you believe curiosity? |
#35289 (361/631) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<|Chris> i know i'm killing more quotes than i should
<|Chris> just due to the fact that i'm not finding a whole lot of things funny due to my current situation in life
<|Chris> i'm so sad...she took the gamecube man
<|Chris> the fucking gamecube |
#29035 (361/585) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
liz: you know if love was measured in kb's ...it would take HOURS for me to upload my love for you.
mikey: *taps your forehead* that's because of your small upstream bandwidth dear.
mikey: <3
liz: hahahhahahhahahhaha
liz: god i love it when you talk dorky to me
mikey: also, i seem to be dropping syn packets.
mikey: i suspect a collision somewhere on your train of thought.
liz: ping www.loveformikey.com
mikey: host not found :-( |
#12475 (361/474) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<flee> my favorite people to talk to on the phone are those
<flee> that are self-absorbed enough that all I have to do
<flee> is say "yup" and laugh at appropriate intervals.
<flee> it's only annoying when I don't know how to detach.
<flee> I should write a program that will say "yup" and
<flee> laugh for me.
<flee> of course, I can't tell anyone this.
<mrg> yup!
<mrg> hahahah |
#8505 (361/514) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Doc> hmm.. IE crashed
<Doc> but i suppose it was my fault... after all, i did press teh "Back" button
<Doc> what was i thinking...
<cactoid> you madman
<Tippytoes> risktaker
<Doc> i like to live on the edge |
#2456 (361/519) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<M3rlin-> what is the legal age to buy alcoholic in england ?
<p5Ds13a06> you cant buy alcoholics
<p5Ds13a06> but if you wink the right way, some of them will follow you home for free |
#80 (361/683) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<ebim> toz.. do her doggie style and have a laptop on her back so you can talk to us |
#307731 (361/399) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Amadiro> RumpledElf, according to that definition, my markov-chain based chatbot spouting random phrases combined from previous messages it recollects from its database is probably more sentient than most actual human IRC users.
<Amadiro> aib, it usually ended up pretty much just spouting out sentences it heard previously to other people at a later point. Additionally I ran some simple regexpes over the output.
<Amadiro> That caused some hilarious conversations like the bot arguing with some guy whether it's "slipknot" or "slipgnot" (replaced all k's with g's)
<Amadiro> aib, we also fed it the bible, all 7 harry potter books, various pornographic novels and Karl Marx' "Das Kapital" later on, with brilliant results.
<aib> add a Hitler biography and you've got an Internet discussion generatorComment: ##programming@irc.freenode.net
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#294559 (360/552) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(@Fantasy) I blame that evil midget in rehab
(@Fantasy) headbutted me in thr balls
(@Fantasy) and he was perfect height
(@Fantasy) his head was literally crotch height
(refused) who the fuck even does that
(@Fantasy) after you spend a month making midget jokes
(@Fantasy) to a cocaine addict in rehab
(@Fantasy) than on family/friends day having all your friends make fun of his midget kind
(@Fantasy) he came up and said something like "stop shitting, dog"
(@Fantasy) I laughed
(@Fantasy) he said you want to start something
(@Fantasy) I said say it to my face
(@Fantasy) and LAUGHED
(@Fantasy) he headbutted me in the balls
(@Fantasy) I was on the ground
(@Fantasy) crying
(@Fantasy) so he squatted down and said "stop messing with me"
(@Fantasy) right in my face
(@Fantasy) and since then I've been afraid of midgets |
#68185 (360/498) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
xyzzy: note to self - dont hit on homeschooled chicks
Bahamut Xero: especially during class |
#59744 (360/500) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Knightmare> Well that was a night of fear and terror.
<Timork> ?
<Knightmare> I bought a bag of mushrooms and a bottle of Everclear.
<Knightmare> Settled down for a nice evening of mind altering psychadelia
<Timork> Bad trip huh?
<Knightmare> Horrible, I never want to go through it again.
<Knightmare> Somewhere along the line I installed emacs. |
#57805 (360/534) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
*** Soopie has joined #perl
<Soopie> I HATE PERL
<Soopie> ITS A PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A REAL LANGUAGE
<Soopie> WITH ITS OBFUSCATED PUNCTUATION AND CRAP
<fr_gment> length q bless glob and print chr oct ord q mkdir m and print chr ord q xor x and print chr ord q q q and print chr ord uc q map m and print chr ord q qw q and print chr ord q each le and print chr ord q my alarm and print chr oct oct ord uc qw q for q
<fr_gment> Soopie: Run that. No punctuation at all. Nice and elegant.
<Soopie> ...
<Soopie> IT PRINTS FUCKING "GO AWAY"!?Comment: Run it and see!
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#56827 (359/515) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(+[dps]rannmann) i wonder what this command does
(+[dps]rannmann) maybe it'll blow up my mirc
(+[dps]rannmann) playing: "The Infamous Double Dildo Janine!! (xxx dildo fist fuck sex porn ficken anal divx).mpg" .:1384kbps|Stereo|8:26:.
(+[dps]rannmann) FUCK
(+[dps]rannmann) NO
(+[dps]rannmann) THAT'S WHAT IT DOES
(+[dps]rannmann) ignore that!Comment: Owned?
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