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#29514 (187/401) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<jebus> brb, sex |
#32186 (186/384) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* %Mastas ::MP3:: Kill the Jews - Why Hilter was right! - The NeoNaziNationals :: To get say '!get'
<SGR> erm.. wtf?
<Mastas> what?
<Lokey> !get
* Mastas sets mode: +b *!*@*bb2.33f0f94f.rochester.rr.com
* Lokey was kicked by Mastas (Get out you racist fuck.)
<SGR> lol
<Mastas> pwned :D |
#32479 (187/357) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<janedidit> when i was 17 i was babysitting all day for my aunt who had a two year old kid who was just a completely fucking spoiled brat
<janedidit> i was trying to get him to go to bed, after a 30 minute struggle with him, and i was sitting on the rocking chair watching the simpsons
<janedidit> when the fucking asswipe BIT MY ANKLE
<PickeL> LOL
<janedidit> and i screamed "YOU LITTLE BRAT I'M GOING TO KICK YOU LIKE A FOOTBALL" then my aunt walked through the door and was screaming at me saying "WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY SON?!"
<janedidit> i replied, "your little turd just bit my god damn ankle!" and she shoved me out the door and was like "i'll call you when you grow up!!"
<janedidit> then a week later i called her and said, "okay i haven't grown up yet but i'd still like my pay."
<janedidit> i've got a $45 check in my pocket and a little scrap of paper that says "i've never gotten along with my sister, but now i've got a reason not to talk to her anymore, thanks."Comment: janedidit was babysitting for her aunt
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#34041 (186/450) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<[PIT]PhillyB_workn> this is crazy:
<[PIT]PhillyB_workn> A 7-year-old boy was arrested and charged with sexually molesting a 5-year-old girl (Morristown, N.J., November). And an 8-year-old boy, accused of fondling four 7-year-old girls, agreed to enter sex-offender rehabilitation (Mount Clemens, Mich., December)
<[PIT]PhillyB_workn> And a 12-year-old girl, who was improperly touched by a 40-year-old man (resulting in his conviction for lewd conduct), was revealed by court investigators to have voluntarily performed oral sex on, or intercourse with, at least 40 men (Monterey, Calif., February).
<Uranus> dude, whats sad is that 7 year old kids are getting laid and I'm not
<[PIT]PhillyB_workn> lol Uranus
<|223|Bob|Duk> ROFL
<|223|Bob|Duk> so true...
<bleepstreet> cause he's got mad style
<ShminkyBoy> the 12 year old should be given some head doctor treatment
<bleepstreet> or a medal |
#34100 (187/351) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<kisama> man the way i fool my mom for a bong is great
<kisama> i just wash out the chamber with alcohol and rock salt
<kisama> so it's sparkly clean
<kisama> after each smoking session
<kisama> and stash the still filthy bowl in my closet somewhere
<kisama> i just leave the bong drying, in the open
<kisama> she thinks its chemistry equipment
<kisama> it's so great
<Josho> haah
<kisama> if i go smoking somewhere i just take the thing in plain view
<kisama> and say i'm going to do chemistry experiments
<kisama> of course upon going outside i fucking stash it
<kisama> because other people know better |
#34201 (187/399) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+Pie> i wonder if its possible to fap yourself with a 2000 watt speaker
<+Pie> ...brb
<+Death> o.O |
#35940 (187/307) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<atoi> ouch...when zippers attack...
<atoi> zippers and balls have been natural enemies since the inception of storing the latter behind the former. |
#46474 (187/339) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<fr_gment> Right-wing, fundamentalist Christian religious groups are proponents of teaching abstinence over contraception in schools, correct?
<autrereine> Correct.
<fr_gment> Abstinence didn't save the Virgin Mary! |
#49854 (188/354) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<circusbred> my first time was horrible
<MK|AmericanRetard> lol
<Athlete> my first time was with a bitch of a tease and now i wish i hadn't
<circusbred> i wouldn't wish that on the 'right girl'
<MK|AmericanRetard> ROFL
<Athlete> cus we fucked for like 15 mintues and just as it were getting good
<Athlete> she stopped and started laughing
<MK|AmericanRetard> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
<circusbred> ohhh
<Athlete> fuckin bitch |
#49955 (187/363) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<retard> if we went to a party kitsa
<retard> you'd have to buy some sort of anti retard spray
<Kitsa> it's called mace |
#51533 (187/341) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<val1s> anyone know any hassidik jewish porn websites i can redirect my old companies website to? |
#55223 (187/369) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< finn> I let god decide if I'm going to school tomorrow or not, by just not setting an alarm
< finn> "if god wanted me to be in school today, he woulda woken me up" |
#55316 (187/397) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Analogy> I haven't taken a shower in days.
<Analogy> DAYS.
* silentjoe backs away from analogy
<Analogy> My hair has so much oil in it, Bush is gonna invade it next. |
#63281 (187/331) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+syc> a lady having problems burning dvd's
<infralite> infra`: die
<+syc> in her cd-rw
<+syc> she said she keeps putting them in, and it keeps asking for more
<stutter_> syc: do you do support for non-clients of yours?
<+Two9A> huhu
<+syc> i guess nero says 'please insert a disc with enough space blah blah blah'
<+syc> so she she kept putting one after another into the drive
<+syc> until the door wouldn't open anymore |
#63631 (187/399) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<chief> What other city does uk have apart from england |
#68418 (187/371) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<clice> yo
<rp> Sitting in some gay training.
<rp> Err..
<rp> The training itself is gay, not that it's teaching you how to be gay.
<clice> nice one |
#68462 (187/331) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< PatrickBic> will go home soon
< PatrickBic> and no parents at home the whole weekend...
< JimPanic> Sounds like fun. :D
< PatrickBic> ye
< void[]> Party at PatrickBic's place
< PatrickBic> yea
< void[]> Bring your own compiler. |
#69477 (186/422) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Omi> So yeah, this idiot was trying to insult me
<Omi> By calling me gay
<Omi> Then she said, and I quote,
* Omi looks up Logs
<Omi> "thts rite u cnt reli sspeak wiv ur cock stuck in ur mouth or up another guys arse"
<Omi> So... not only did she compliment me by saying my cock is so big I can fit it in my own mouth...
<Omi> But she made absolutely no sense what so ever with the second part...
<Omi> How exactly would having a cock on someones ass prevent you from talking? |
#103771 (187/247) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
FrierT: when life gives you lemons, ask life if it knows its supporting underage farming labour in several tropical countries. |
#302037 (187/291) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<kkstrong> saying if my absolute max budget is $5000, how expensive of a car can I get :/
<incluye> $5000 |
#306236 (187/311) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<BCMM> hah, trying to find "inactive ram" on wikipedia, but actually finding a study on asexuality in sheep
<BCMM> no kidding. |
#306606 (187/325) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Silly> i'm sat wanking with pron on my 50"tv right, doors closed and everything
<@Silly> right as im finishing up my housemate barges in, no fucking knocking or anything
<@Silly> i dont have time to hide my boner AND close the porn
<+Altruit> so which one did you hide?
<@Silly> so i throw my remote at him, altf4 and slam the keyboard on my dick
<@Silly> end result is that im very sore and ive got spunk all over my keybaord
<@Silly> and he still caught me |
#308609 (187/343) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Katie: futurama proves something
Katie: you can make a girl the hero of the show, but in the end everyone still thinks a lazy guy is the main character |
#709 (187/371) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<|Chris> how many straight edge kids does it take to drink a six pack?
<|Chris> 1, if no one's looking |
#1011 (187/361) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<_bigd_> when I was a child I used to scrape the cream off all the oreos and make it into a ball ^_^
<_bigd_> and leave in the fridge
<_bigd_> after 2 bites, I used to pass out |
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