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#68018 (188/390) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Rod> i wonder if that little RC plane with the camera on it could fly into some open windows and then drive around on the floor looking up ladies skirts
<Chris> too noisy
<Rod> all you need is a deaf girl and an open window
<Rod> and a questionable set of moral principles
<Chris> that's how lots of Rod's stories start
<Rod> most of them come from "101 Things To Do With A Deaf Girl, An Open Window, And A Questionable Set Of Moral Principles" by Noam Chomsky
<John> One of his lesser-known works.
<Rod> i dont want to spoil the book, but 99 of the 101 things are "Rape her."
<Rod> 101 is the plane and video camera thing
<Rod> you dont want to know about 100. it makes 1-99 look like ballroom fucking dancing |
#75576 (188/436) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@ALGORYTHM> make your own wikipedia entry then you too can be right |
#261 (188/407) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<EFX>I hate it when the cats stare at me when I go into the livingroom to jackoff to pornos :( |
#526 (188/397) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<matt`> <goh`> guilty you spelt speed wrong
<goh`> spelled*
<McMoo> <goh`> YOUR USUALLY SO CAREFUL
<goh`> you're*
<goh`> you guys are assholes |
#1026 (188/388) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(TheGamer) people are so broke here [THE UNITED KINGDOM] - because many brits are unskilled, as you can leave school with a standing at 16. Many people live in housing equivalent to Manitoba Housing (gov't assisted housing)
(TheGamer) however.. you as a Canadian would not be entitled to any benefits.. except free birth control pills
(tiko) I'd get free birth control pills?!?!
(tiko) DAMMIT!
(tiko) SOLD! |
#1636 (188/357) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<DragonRe> gabe: what i did to you was love goddamit
<gabe> maybe in alabama. |
#3130 (188/344) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<berly> *puh* You can call me anything you want!
<Joshua> aww... i'll try not to abuse that, sex-kitten
<Joshua> i like that sentence better without punctuation... |
#3369 (188/316) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<C00k0> I used to think ircops were cybercops that would run around like leet hackers in movies and storm your house if you did something bad
<hex86> and were you sad when you found out they actually do very little?
<C00k0> I was quite happy ^_^ |
#3777 (188/453) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<[ric]> jeez... why is it the boss always walks in on me when I am typing
on irc?
<[ric]> oh, yeh.. it's because I am always typing on irc.. :) |
#4075 (188/336) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Zooropa> :B
<Lynkx> you have an ass on your chin |
#4814 (188/348) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ishmal> wandered into a lesbian bar once, was there about an hour before i noticed
<ishmal> lots of girls, no guys
<ishmal> thought i was just lucky |
#5701 (188/337) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ssptg> fuck i deleted msn again
<Straylight> good
<Straylight> did you get all of it? |
#12343 (188/343) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<McMoo> i think there's a vacuum cleaner thief in the neighborshood
<McMoo> i wake up to a knocking on the door
<McMoo> some aZn woman is there
<McMoo> 'hi, i live down in 114. do you by any chance have a vacuum i could borrow?'
<McMoo> i'm not even sure there is a 114 in our building
<McMoo> and she's been vacuuming for a while now. |
#16277 (188/378) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<elinsox> dude my boss rules
<mrwhite> with an iron fist
<legacy> and a big black strapon |
#16665 (188/345) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@drew> my uterus is bleeding
<@cognac> drew, you don't have a uterus
<@drew> oh |
#17863 (188/333) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<WntBgAsLg> RU people here every night?
<mthw> no sorry this is a 1 time thing
<mthw> channel breaks up by tomorrow
<mthw> we tour irc, go chan to chan |
#19145 (189/354) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Kinto> That totally sucked.
<Kinto> I work in a water store, and for some reason it flooded with water because we left the machine on ...
<Kinto> So I put my pant legs up and like helped clean the mess. Our carpet is going to smell.
<Kinto> But now only one pant leg is up, so now I look like LL COOL J.
* Kinto starts rapping.
<Menophis> That's better than looking like Kriss Kross.
<Menophis> I mean, I can only think of one justifiable reason for a man to have a zipper on the ass of his pants. |
#22279 (188/370) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<skie`> the guy who sits next to me in french class had a friend that was going through CS in college, so we were talking about that... probably 4 or 5 people turn around and say "What the hell, colleges have a CounterStrike department now?" |
#24260 (188/360) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Geeky Weezer Fan: "Did you see X2?"
onkeybutt87: Jean Grey's hair in that is awesome
onkeybutt87: I totally wish I were a girl so I could have hair like that
onkeybutt87: and, in a related story, I'm straight |
#29454 (188/350) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<jeebas> seems like i have quite a few kids on ebay
<jeebas> err bids |
#31491 (188/426) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Gil_AFK> I need to get laid. BRB, bugging gf.
<AndroSyn> heh
<Gil_AFK> looks like iam out of luck
<Gil_AFK> BRB, retry 1 in 120 seconds
<Gil_AFK> i'am hammering her :) |
#20192 (187/334) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<WC|spieler> Installing photoshop from within a compressed archive.
<WC|spieler> with my antivirus active
<WC|spieler> this ought to turn out well.
<WC|spieler> sometime next summer |
#21414 (187/329) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Shez> i shall create my own planet named "the planet of dropdead losers named Shez"
<|iCARUS|> Shez: cool!! can i have the planet next to that?
<Scathing> Icarus: the "I'm with Stupid ->" planet? |
#27366 (187/329) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Tarod> I feel sorry for guys that work in real fudge packing plants. |
#29450 (187/337) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ncik> i just found £10 in my pocket
<ncik> that's handy
<LERCH> i love it when that happens
<LERCH> especialy when its not my trousers i am wearing
<Chris[ni]> i found somthing in my trousers
<Chris[ni]> considerably larger than £10
* LERCH ignors chris's last comment
<Chris[ni]> it was my wallet |
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