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#16401 (185/349) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<stutz> I hear you call your dick Godzilla
<mltj> yeah.
<stutz> Is that because its green and smells of fish?
<jamey> no, it's because it doesn't really exist |
#18515 (186/341) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<silvershine> Pigs have corkscrew penises. ._.
<Keeju> @,i
<Keeju> they also have 30+ minute orgasms
<silvershine> Yes ._.
<silvershine> And grooved vaginas ._.
<GoldenWing> o.o;;;
<Chaz-> Half an hour orgasms o.O
<Chaz-> Good god o.O
<AnnieCn> lol where the hell did that come from
<Chaz-> I dunno but I'm never gonna look at bacon the same way again... |
#23013 (185/401) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Gazuga> WHATS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A PICKLE AND AN ATLAR BOY?
<YenenuNF> I DON'T KNOW
<Gazuga> CATHOLIC PRIESTS DON'T FORCE PICKLES TO PERFORM ORAL SEX ON THEM
<Gazuga> AHAHAHAHAHA
<YenenuNF> AHAHAHAHAH
<gopus> that was dumb.
<gopus> that's like saying "Why did the chicken and not the pickle cross the street?"
<gopus> and then saying
<gopus> "because the pickle doesn't have feet"
<Gazuga> ahahahah gopus good one |
#26213 (186/350) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<SpookyD> if ppl saw what was on my screen right now they would be shocked and disgusted ;)
<DanJ> SpookyD: So get some tissues and clean it |
#27396 (185/357) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<COL_Stele> oh damn... sat on my cat. brb |
#27770 (185/329) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<aeonite> !8ball will my life magically turn around after this weekend with happy unicorn fairy dust wishes and chocolate popsicle kisses so I can be happy forever and ever?
<FarkStatsBot> aeonite: My sources say no.
<aeonite> !8ball is it gonna suck?
<FarkStatsBot> aeonite: My reply is no.
<aeonite> !8ball typical, then
<FarkStatsBot> aeonite: My sources say no.
<aeonite> !8ball is that all you can say is no?
<FarkStatsBot> aeonite: Signs point to yes. |
#28927 (185/329) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<[Knob]> So anyway, I was in this pub yesterday night, and there was music playing. So my friend suddenly says to me "This is good music to jerk off to" I'm like "What the fuck?" and he goes "Yeah, doesn't everyone have a song that they jerk off to?" - And while he said that, the music was turned off and he screamed it throughout the entire pub. Everyone was looking mighty strange at me... |
#30631 (185/381) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Lippizanr> i'd be a lesbian if i didn't like penises so much. |
#32449 (185/331) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<oz> jesus christ... the guy who built my computer from scratch is a fugitive and is wanted in ohio...
<oz> and he gets sent to the county jail the day before my 9600xt craps out on me :| |
#32935 (185/353) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<HanSkywalker> there is only one reason i disliked ROTK
<Errtu> don't get me wrong. i do like the movie. i just think they could've done certain things different
<HanSkywalker> they cut the fucking shower scene
<HanSkywalker> erm
<HanSkywalker> Shire
<HanSkywalker> hehe
<HanSkywalker> *blink* |
#33004 (185/387) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<smilodon> once upon a time
<smilodon> there was
<Mithandir> yes
<Mithandir> but then
<Mithandir> there wasn't
<Mithandir> "A summary of life, the universe and everything" by S. Milodon and M. Ithandir |
#33207 (185/357) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<mjc> # Phone Sales Representative: "Will you be paying by credit card?"
<mjc> # Customer: "Yes."
<mjc> # Phone Sales Representative: "Ok, I need your credit card number and your name as it appears on the card, please."
<mjc> # Customer: "WHAT?!? I'm not giving my credit card to you over the phone! Then your company will have access to it!" |
#15724 (184/321) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<marcus> can you make a cisco route packets based on their source address?
<Jon2> marcus: yes. policy-based routing
<FlashMan> marcus - yes, using policy routing
<RoadRuner> marcus: yes. policy routing
<marcus> anyone else?
<drifter-> marcus: yes. policy routing |
#18253 (184/333) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<[Piratez]> so what kinda job you got?
<drunkers> i wash dishes
<[Piratez]> at a resturaunt?
<drunkers> no, at home |
#21145 (184/351) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
Mon: its.. kinda funny. O_o
Kadmium: I'm not aware, in fact, of a word that expresses to quite the extent that I require, precisely how funny it isn't
Mon: heh
Kadmium: Merely "bloody awful" lacks a certain vitriol, whereas "fucking dreadful" is just so cliche...
Kadmium: Let's just say that there are tribes in the Amazon forest, as yet untouched by civilization, that have said funnier things on IRC |
#21974 (184/360) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<create> <nikki> can you tell me what a clitoris is because someone is asking me about mine and I don't know what the hell it is
<joedirt> isnt that a french pastry? |
#26306 (184/362) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Amish> why do women care if you have an ass anyways
<Amish> it's not like they're going to do anything with it, but squeeze it
<cardcheat> subconsciously, ass muscles are used in thrusting movements of sex
<cardcheat> so it symbolizes good prowess
<Amish> I will date blind women only. If they start to feel my ass, I will wear two cantaloupe halves |
#28740 (184/338) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
(HamWork) worst thing you can do while walking to the bathroom when you have to shit real bad: SNEEZE |
#32496 (184/366) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@Ravnos> The Miata looks like a suppository with wheels...
<@acaos> I used to park next to one.
<@acaos> But my first thought every day I saw it was 'wow, that would fit up my ass like nobody's business.'
<@acaos> er. was NOT. |
#47182 (184/380) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<worlocked> I'm going over to live in Europe in September and I want to take a sheet of acid over with me. I'm too scared to take it on the plane, so I was thinking of faxing it over before hand.
<worlocked> Can anyone tell me if this will work.Comment: irc.buttes.org #wdma
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#50880 (184/428) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<aq> 1st person shooters are easier to play with than women
<aq> a friend of mine did talk me through some basics
<aq> and it seems far too damn complicated
<aq> it's like a fighter plane's cockpit
<aq> how the hell are we guys supposed to know how to fly those babys when we don't have any simulators
<aq> girls get simulators
<aq> plus there's only the joystick. Women don't have to deal with all the flaps or levers or buttons or nozzles or whatever else...
<aq> I don't even know where the eject button is incase I panic!!! |
#55082 (184/342) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<fizzer> and we had to put condoms on the boys bananas
<fizzer> and there were too many girls in my class, so it was me and another girl with Luke
<fizzer> and he was mighty embarrassed
<koshua> Were the guys given half a nectarine and told to find the clitoris?Comment: Sex Ed, Ozzie style
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#56001 (184/328) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
< wernicus> everyone on irc is male until proven otherwise |
#60116 (184/360) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<beaux> Sometimes I think having a girlfriend is like a contract signed in blood or something.
<SaxxonPike> terms are subject to change without noticeComment: #misfix
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#182936 (184/260) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Grath> Hey, everyone
<Grath> You just lose the gmae
<Grath> *lost
<Grath> *game
<Retro> you just failed the internet, though |
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