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#67273 (246/388) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<celti> Get lost in a forest for a few months. Sure way to shed some pounds.
<Strider> celti: I have protection against bein glost..
<celti> What, never leaving your keyboard?
<Strider> I keep a 6' fiber optic cable in my pack.. if I ever get lost, I just lay it on the ground, and within a few hours, there will be a backhoe there to cut it. |
#42333 (246/394) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<penor> i hate the world
<penor> im gonan go kill myself
<APE> dont stain the carpet
<penor> my mom would kill me if I did thatComment: irc.cheatlist.com #dcemu
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#38342 (246/324) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<n3ur0tich> he called me at 2 in the morning. i thought he was calling to see if i was okay. how strangly considerate, i thought. how nice.
<n3ur0tich> he called to ask if i stole his cheese. five pounds of cheese. yes, i sighed, i stole five pounds of cheese from your apartment. right. because i really needed five fucking pounds of cheese. oh, and i'm fine, thanks.
<n3ur0tich> he called again at 3.
<n3ur0tich> "are you sure you didn't take the cheese?" |
#37896 (245/385) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<TrafficCone> So I'm talking to my friend the day after I nailed his older sister in the bathroom ofthe local movie theater
<TrafficCone> and he starts going off about some time i made a total ass of my self in front of some girl i liked in high school when i was drunk
<FKNPWNED> Go on...
<TrafficCone> and there's a freaking platoon of people i don't want to hear this shit around, so i pipe up and say,
<TrafficCone> "Hey dude, your sister likes it when I slap her in the face with my Dick"
<TrafficCone> The next thing I know, I'm in the emergency room. The bastard knocked me out with a chair leg.Comment: 0wn3d
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#35012 (246/448) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<BigImp> speaking of breakfast, i think i'm gonna order some healthy kfc
<girlmecha> let me guess, the fried chicken goes well with your bulging muscles
<BigImp> there's a good way to reply to that
<BigImp> but i can't think of it right now, please try again in an hour |
#34674 (246/452) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<dmose> remember, it's all fun and games until someone shrieks "WRONG HOLE!" |
#33887 (246/398) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<I|O> goin off to college
<I|O> mom got me a dehumidifer
<I|O> dad got me a humidifier
<xiao> stick em in yer room for a night. let them fight it out |
#33188 (246/474) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
porkbelly: jesus fucking christ
WidowMaker: pics? |
#32456 (246/470) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+BaD-CoMpAnY> The only British idiom I know is that fag means cigarette.
<@Seraph> Then someone tell this cigarette to shut up. |
#25475 (247/399) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<D4NG3R0U5> when a girl says 'blow me' what the fuck does she mean
<Ravenouse1> basically, she's telling you to suck her cock |
#13468 (246/453) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ToastyX> :b
<Powerlord> Hey toasty, what is the ascii code for the upside down P? |
#8125 (246/398) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Avatar> who are you
<harold> oh fuck off avatar. i see you've found another channel to ban n00bs in :)
<Avatar> oh good, we've met |
#648 (246/406) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<snerfu> I would say the worst feeling is waking up after a night of drunken stupor and in the process of walking to your computer all you see is a pine session that says: your email "im drunk" has been sent. |
#468 (245/470) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
"Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good;
and when it is bad, it is better than nothing."
- Dick Brandon |
#218 (246/534) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<CrazyDe> man, back when i was in my sexual prime..
<CrazyDe> in the 7th grade... |
#308006 (245/321) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<dr2chase> As I said to someone else, back when the Lite-Brite Mooninites panicked the Boston Police, the first rule of making a bomb, is to not make it look like a bomb.
<dr2chase> That's why IEDs get buried, stuffed into dead dogs, what have you. Around here, if you wanted to hide a bomb in plain sight, you'd stick it in a crumpled Dunkin Donuts bag.
<anony> Isn't a Dunkin Donuts bag the first place a cop would look? |
#306718 (244/326) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[talking about kuwait]
everbong: i almost got blowed up back in the day.. thats how i got the name everbong
MaxGripper: really?
MaxGripper: what happened?
everbong: this lady came up to a small group of us, saying something, and i was like "everbong?? wtf??" we started to walk away and she exploded
everbong: apparantly she was saying "i have a bomb" in fail english |
#306314 (246/514) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<OctopusRainbows>today i exposed myself for jello shots
<OctopusRainbows>just got back from gay weekend at the beach
<ME-tan>fabulous
<OctopusRainbows>there were "shots 4 hooters" and "shots 4 cocks" signs. i took advantage of both. the guys with the shots for cock sign were very very confused
<ME-tan>bwahahaha
<OctopusRainbows>poor gay guys. they did not want to see girlcock XD
<Ling>wat
<OctopusRainbows>haha exactlyComment: Transgender support channel...
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#302976 (244/358) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[@tank] there's a gay porn called Hungry for Hungary
[@tank] there should have been a whole series like that
[@tank] Budapest Butts, Croatian Cocks
[@tank] etc
<@JohnnyDoe> Switzerland sucks :-D
<+dlong> Azerbaijanian Asses
<+dlong> Danish Dicks
[@thechosenone] Ethiopian Enemas
<+dlong> Finnish Fucks
[@thechosenone] German Goatses!!!
<@JohnnyDoe> Inside India
<+dlong> Jamacian Jailbait
[@thechosenone] Kinky Kenya
[@thechosenone] Monaco Man-Meat
<@JohnnyDoe> Liberia Libido
<cs^> [@thechosenone] Nicaraguan Nipples
<+dlong> Oceaniac Oral
<+dlong> Penises from Paraguay
<@JohnnyDoe> Quickie in Qatar
[@thechosenone] Ravenna Rim-jobs
<+dlong> Trannies in Tahiti
<@JohnnyDoe> Uganda Urinals
<+dlong> Vacuums in Vatican City
[@thechosenone] Vanatuan Vaginas
<+dlong> This is supposed to be gay porn
<+dlong> Watersports in Wakanda
<cs^> [@thechosenone] Xin-XXX
<@JohnnyDoe> Should have been Watersports in West Bank
[@thechosenone] old country names count? ;) otherwise i can't find an X
<hellix> zombie sex in zanzibar
<hellix> wait, what
[@thechosenone] Yugoslavia Youths |
#49653 (245/427) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<lsf> so we got a package from an online shop, we ordered some things
<lsf> and with the passage we also get an Ipod Nano
<lsf> and my mom goes like, they made a mistake and will soon come to our door again to request it back
<lsf> so the stupid bitch calls them and reports the mistake
<lsf> and the guy that answers says like,"damn lady youre stupid you could just keep the stuff"
<lsf> and i cried |
#34843 (245/411) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@cyberdyn_> HAHAHA
<@cyberdyn_> This car in the parking lot just hit a cup and blew a tire
<@ramdond> @_@
<@cyberdyn_> It appears that there were nails in the cup |
#34668 (245/417) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Rjx> now I'm off taking zoloft, I'm supposed to go for a 'colon cleansing'
<Rjx> I don't know how that works
<Rjx> but I know I don't want it |
#32604 (245/431) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<somniloquy> nice. i told MSN my postcode is "bite me" and it accepted it |
#31745 (245/443) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<warewolf> "It sucks when you sneeze with a dildo in, and inadvertantly become a one-round-gun." |
#29804 (244/472) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<pcchew> haha
<pcchew> i was with my girlfriend in the grocery store looking for some stuff for dinner
<pcchew> we were in the meat isle and i got this idea
<pcchew> i grabbed a summer sausage and pressed it in the middle of her back and said out loud in a deep voice "this isn't a summer sausage i'm just a really tall man"
<pcchew> she was as red as the beef on displayComment: adventures in the grocery store..
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