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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..105106107108109110111..596Next> |
#48616 (243/377) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<doopidub> euh, now compiling kernel
<doopidub> how long does it take?
<Phlip> doopidub: usually no longer than it takes to make a cup of coffee
<doopidub> okay, brb making coffee
<Phlip> as long as you include the time it takes to grow, roast, etc the coffee beansComment: #blenderchat on freenode
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#44802 (243/399) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<biounix> its horrible, i know
<biounix> but i'm not a writer
<biounix> and i have a BASIC vocabulary
<stan> 10 GOTO SCHOOL |
#41218 (243/393) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
Whitetail: My friend said his teachers used to be worried, because he was normally the happy smiling person..who would sing "Lift your head up high (And blow your brains out) by bloodhound gang, with a smile on his face and in a good mood"
Whitetail: Heh, remember in like school, when you were young, and they asked what you all had in common? "we all have two arms, we all have two legs"?
Whitetail: He said "We're all going to die"
Whitetail: He got a call home, and his mom said...so? Hes telling the truth |
#41188 (243/393) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Shadda> So, Like
<Shadda> I'm watching this thing on PBS last night
<Shadda> about this guy who used to be on the bomb squad
<Shadda> Got his arms blown off from the elbow and down
<Shadda> both arms
<Shadda> and they're saying, 10 years later, a radical new procedure is possible
<Shadda> a double arm transplant
<Shadda> Then they get all serious
<Shadda> and the narator goes
<Shadda> "The only catch...the arms must come from a dead person."
<Shadda> like, wtf
<Shadda> Where else would they come from?
<rworks> I volunteer!
<Shadda> "Sorry, sir. It seems you've been taking your arms for granted. Excessive masturbation and constant ass picking. We feel that this man, who has served his country, deserves them more."
<Shadda> *Chink!* |
#39201 (242/386) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
Doja: so whats up w/ kerry getting 3 purple hearts for 2 hrs of combat in vietnam? or is that complete bs?
p4-whack: you get the purple hearts for being wounded
p4-whack: you get the silver star for courage under far and actions above and beyond the call of duty
p4-whack: but if you hideout in a TX national gaurd air unit and smoke weed and snort lines, you get to be president |
#30068 (242/436) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
(+docviagra[bteg]) they sprung some suprise exams on us last week
(+docviagra[bteg]) they weren't actually suprises, I just forgot.
(+docviagra[bteg]) still, it was quite suprising.Comment: #BTEG, GamesNet
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#28815 (243/419) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Rhamphoryncus> damnit, why does it have to be so hard to discuss quantum physics in sex channels?! |
#28301 (243/459) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<BADGER> I wonder what Shakespeare would say if he ever was transported to our time and discovered goatse. "HIS ASS! This beige monstrosity mocketh me at every turn. Woe is my eyes. I owe apologies to my retinas, for such a curse have I endured on them. Woe! Woe!" |
#27177 (243/399) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<BobTheMil> the sun's coming out
<BobTheMil> i should do my homework now
<BobTheMil> IRC says no
<BobTheMil> </haiku> |
#18223 (243/412) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<PowrSlave> Ah yes, everything I know I learned from Grand Theft Auto 3. For example, if I need a ride across town and there's a squad car nearby, I just punch the nearest old lady. When the cops get out of their vehicle to fight me, I steal the car. That gets me Warning Level 1, but all I have to do is hide in an alleyway for 30 seconds and the cops will forget all about me. Great learning tool. |
#14454 (243/398) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<gweeds> wow
<gweeds> i am now completely out of credit card debt
<gweeds> time to dive back in |
#14408 (243/383) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<brak> hey bro, heard you were...cooking
<Time> fire engines gave it away? |
#7431 (243/434) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
*** MathAngel has left #vancouver
<Phuser> math angel?
<bv3> wtf is a math angel
<Phuser> that is the worst nick i've ever seen
*** Phuser is now known as SocialStudiesWizard
<SocialStudiesWizard> i damn thee |
#3761 (243/510) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<[ric]> although.... dark makeup (check)... peircings (check)... wearing black (check)... leather & studded wristbands (check)... mad stare (check)
<[ric]> she has all the hallmarks of a good date if you ask me... now if we could just add a some mental instability and bizarre drinking habbits then we have my perfect woman |
#299905 (242/516) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@eliot> someone hilight me please
<@eliot> SAY MY GOD DAMN NAME
< lolidunno> elio
< micro_ulaelable> elio t
<@eliot> ..
< micro_ulaelable> _ _ _
< micro_ulaelable> ___| (_) ___ | |_
< micro_ulaelable> / _ \ | |/ _ \| __|
< micro_ulaelable> | __/ | | (_) | |_
< micro_ulaelable> \___|_|_|\___/ \__| |
#58230 (242/560) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<BBX25> I wonder...why don't male humans eat their children? It happens a lot in the animal kingdom!
<BBX25> *Pictures a man with his mouth open, right at the mouth of the Vagina in a labour room, as the baby crowns*
<Emerl> SPAWN CAMPING
<Emerl> >_>
<RandomExtremity> gahahahhaa
<RandomExtremity> Emerl win
<Emerl> Sorry, had to say it
<BBX25> XDDD EMERL
<BBX25> Baby "S**tty map"
<BBX25> Mother "Crappy team"
<BBX25> Nurse "Lag!"
<RandomExtremity> Father "pwnt" |
#55452 (242/466) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<warewolf> haha
<warewolf> I had a coworker who after seeing the sixth sense started acting all freakey around the office
<warewolf> one day he finally let out the joke
<warewolf> he walked up to me, and whispered into my ear (sounding EXTREMELY afraid)
<warewolf> "I see ...GAY PEOPLE!"
<bendy24> you know that the guy the kid talked to in the movie was actually dead...
<bendy24> and didnt know it
<bendy24> so that means...Comment: #linode
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#54688 (242/558) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
(ZackisDead) do you know how easy it is to ruin a perfectly good family
(ZackisDead) for the fuck of it
(ZackisDead) I called some dude tonight and told him I've been fucking his wife
(ZackisDead) I just ran my finger down the phone book
(Mantits) Uh
(Mantits) ...
(Mantits) Did he believe you?
(ZackisDead) I think soComment: D:
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#53697 (242/400) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Chris> They want everything they can't get in a man. For the most part, we only want someone to play with and have a little companionship with.
<Chris> I mean..I understand the compatiblity issue. You wouldn't put a G4 chip onto an AMD board...
<Chris> Then again, it's probably analogies like that which keep me pretty safe from girls. |
#53032 (242/356) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<coldradio> if you are gonna rip on green day for being "lacking in creativity" or some other shit like that, what is so special about what you are doing? are you making music? are you getting up on a stage in front of thousands of people and performing songs that have over a hundred notes to be memorized? no.
<whoopiecat> you don't have to be able to cook to know that something tastes like shit |
#51175 (242/360) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<timmo> 20% of americans believe the sun revolves around the earth, 17% of the people who know that the earth revolves around the sun, believe it does so every 24hours
<timmo> jesus
<timmo> people are fucking morons
<wind`> wait what
<wind`> doesn't the earth revolve around the sun in 24 hours?
<timmo> well i guess we found one of the 17% |
#50585 (242/448) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Joey-X> so im talking to my friend whose hanging out at my place for a joint homework effort and we start making bets on who will do what, like, I bet you 2 bucks you wont drink that expired milk or I bet you 3 bucks you wont go out on the fire escape and yell "WHITE POWER" or something
<Joey-X> and she bets me I wont show her my wang
<Phaser> WHITE POWER
<Joey-X> indeed, but anyway so I pull down my pants and this is the fuckin funniest thing..I wasnt hard yet and she grabs it(this is where I should remind you im not circumsized) and pulls the skin back and - no fucking joke - says 'it looks like a hydralisk'Comment: #quahog
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#48595 (242/394) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<manic> sweet desktop, is that gnome? can't recognize
<allMyBiz> ya, my bro uses only Linux at work, he converted us here.. lolz
<ToRP3DO> hey, dude do you use a TFT screen??
<allMyBiz> ya, Acer - how'd you know?
<ToRP3DO> wow, well I'm looking at this shot and I counted at least 5 dead pixels?? you never noticed??
<allMyBiz> are you serious?
<allMyBiz> i hope you're kidding god I hate dead pixels!
<manic> haha dude..
<allMyBiz> my shop requires at least 7 dead pixels, if I have 5 I might be stuck with them forever.. :( so if I have I hope they are at least 7
<manic> dude you can't SCREENSHOT the dead pixels...
<allMyBiz> can't screenshot them as in they appear black on the shot or?
* manic slaps his forehead |
#47429 (242/544) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Ben174> : If they only realized 90% of the overtime they pay me is only cause i like staying here playing with Kazaa when the bandwidth picks up after hours.
<ChrisLMB> : If any of my employees did that they'd be fired instantly.
<Ben174> : Where u work?
<ChrisLMB> : I'm the CTO at LowerMyBills.com
*** Ben174 (BenWright@TeraPro33-41.LowerMyBills.com) Quit (Leaving) |
#33026 (242/446) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@Keiron> Yahoo search brings up 24,400,000 hits for "porn"
<@Keiron> google brings up 92,700,000 hits for "porn"
<@Arcturus> Google - 300% more Pornful.Comment: #voices on darkmyst
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