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#881 (247/463) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<|scar> Girlfriend pregnant error, [A]bort, [M]arry, [I]gnore ? |
#308345 (247/275) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<eli> lesson learned: rm ** does not just remove all files that end with * :/ |
#303762 (247/293) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
< man_in_shack> anyone here good with configuring hal?
<+blast007> just don't give him two contradicting objectives and you'll be fine |
#300291 (247/429) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Fox> I disrupted a town hall meeting today with a simple question, the one I was looking for last night.
<Fox> Totaly threw all the old fearmongers off track
<Kein> lolwut?
<Fox> yeah, I tried going to a town hall meeting, which takes place at sea world here every couple weeks or so...and I seemed to be the only one trying to argue and promote facts instead of fearmongering bs
<Fox> it was mostly old people and rich looking guys in suits
<Fox> so this time when I went in and they refused to listen, I asked a question, sounding as serious as possible
<Fox> the question? "has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?"
<G-Flex> hahahaha did you seriously say that
<Fox> I had to write it down to remember it right, but...it sounds like a legit question |
#298126 (247/373) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<@John> I hear that it's really helpful for your speech and pronunciation to take your top off on webcam....something to do with the shirt constricting your voicebox and the extra internet traffic ensuring good ping |
#195581 (246/374) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<titaniumone> A customer came into Best Buy and very clearly asked me where the "Black CD's" were. I assumed he was just your average ignorant racist so I brought him to the rap section, at which point he freaked out and had me get a manager so he could get me fired for being racist. |
#105243 (247/589) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<withnail> i have a friend called Justin, and this girl said his name was how long it took for him to ejaculate |
#62295 (247/389) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Domr0x>Do you have a tape recorder?
<CuzCiz>No
<CuzCiz>but i have a pc with a good mic
<Domr0x>hmm, dont think we can smuggle your pc into the red hot chili peppers concert |
#58726 (247/495) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
suurlemoen: usually I can't even run a whole mile
scythen32: ...
scythen32: not something i would tell people
suurlemoen: no, there are a lot of people who can't run a mile
scythen32: yes
scythen32: they are called americans |
#54006 (247/427) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
Schkirpow: So the other day at the grocery store, I got a fantastic idea
Enervine: What was that?
Schkirpow: Well, I got a huge shopping cart full of stuff I needed
Schkirpow: Then hid the cart behind some of those cardboard stand things
Schkirpow: And then took 10 items at a time to the 10 item express lane
Schkirpow: And I got them bagged, put them in another hidden shopping cart
Schkirpow: Then kept going until I had paid for everything
Schkirpow: The cashier got pissed, though, and she asked me why I kept coming back to the express lane instead of going to a normal line
Enervine: hahaha, what did you say?
Schkirpow: Because I was 'in a rush' |
#51585 (247/411) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
blucracksmurf: i tried to read the case study on why windows is more stable than linux, but IE crashed while opening the pdf |
#51174 (247/457) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
Lucius: so im stuck hangin out with this emo kid
Lucius: he goes up to this hot girl and says "hey baby, what are you doing lateR?"
Lucius: she turns to him and goes "boy, i already have a pussy, i dont need another one" and walks away
Lucius: i couldnt stop laughing
Lucius: then he gets this sad look and tells me to shut up
Lucius: i calmly pull out my sharpie and draw a tear on his cheek
Lucius: he literally shrieks and runs away |
#49988 (247/539) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<moo> I want to get a stuffed kitten doll, and then go to the sporting goods store and buy one of those walnut plaques they use to mount animal heads.
<tbird> ok
<moo> After cutting the stuffed kitten doll in half (front half and back half), I'll take the back have and attach it to the plaque.
<moo> I will hang this on the wall of my office.
<tbird> ok
<moo> When people ask me what the hell it is, I will answer, "That's a cat ass trophy. I figure if I can keep it here, the business will run more smoothly."
<moo> Then, after a month of answering this question, I will detach the half-kitten doll from the plaque and leave it laying on my desk.
<moo> When people ask me what the hell happened, I will answer, "Cat ass trophic failure."
<tbird> o_O |
#14662 (247/406) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Funk> I need money fast.
<wildkarrdex> ok I have an idea
<Funk> What?
<wildkarrdex> well you send me £100 by cheque
<Funk> And then?
<wildkarrdex> and then what? |
#7444 (247/401) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Paradox> So, guys, I have some news.
<Paradox> I know I usually don't talk much about stuff unless it's solid, but this is interesting, and I think you should know.
<Paradox> I just got an E-mail about an interesting proposition.
* volsung_ perks up.
<Paradox> Apparently, there are lesbians that want my 'hard cock.'
* volsung_ flips Paradox the bird.
<volsung_> :)
<Paradox> They want it 'now,' apparently, so the timetable is somewhat limited.
<volsung_> Are you going to just take their offer as presented, or is there an opportunity for negotiation?
<Paradox> I'm not sure.
<volsung_> I'm sure your hard cock is in great demand. An exclusive deal might not be in your best interest.
<Paradox> Last time I got an offer like this, there were some catches. |
#3181 (247/445) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<jip_> anyone know offhand how to make comments in lisp?
<Jumper> people still use lisp ?
<Liqd_Work> people started using lisp?
<MediArc> people can program?
<Jumper> ..people ?
<MediArc> ??
<drlion> there was light? |
#615 (247/454) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<splice> wow, irc really loses its luster when you have a girlfriend
<splice> be back much later |
#302725 (246/276) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Crenomaster> I'm bored.
<Crenomaster> I think I'll count how many corners does a circle have.
<psy_wombats> Depends on your monitor resolution |
#296750 (245/537) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
Zerox: are you black
Eris: yes
Zerox: tell me the truth
Eris: I took a quiz online
Eris: it told me I'm black |
#295415 (246/436) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<~Vespa> I had a lesbian (a very intoxicated one) come onto me once
<~toto> They wanted a drink dear
<~Vespa> no
<~Vespa> they bought me the drink
<~toto> They'd spiked it and wanted your wallet then.
<~Vespa> no
<~Vespa> they thought I was femaleComment: #dirt
|
#145733 (246/364) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<chutwig> there's something about college that dramatically increases detachment from reality
<Luigi30> chutwig: pot? |
#144439 (245/559) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<[UTM][ri]TuttiFrutti> oooo
<[UTM][ri]TuttiFrutti> RnB means rhythm and blues?
<[89]Z> yea >_>
<[UTM][ri]TuttiFrutti> i always thought rap and black |
#118122 (246/336) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<apples> the program 'apt-get' is currently not installed. You can install it by typing: apt-get install apt-get
<fuchoo> lol |
#76331 (244/500) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
Truespin: So ya'll know how i work with an advertising firm right? Well today i was put on company probation... if i so much as steal a paperclip, im fired and charges are being pressed against me.
Truespin: We had a meeting today, with ideas for a "reverse racism" campaign for the local highschool. They asked for us to all brainstorm, and i had this brilliant stroke of genius.
Truespin: I held up a note pad with the following poster idea:
Reverse Racism, promote equality
reggin edaps cips oobaggij gongin yeknom-hcrop
knihc iloom ekyk sgorf rethgif-thgin
Truespin: I thought it was brilliant... apparently the senior executive didnt. He actually walked over, slapped me, and told me to get the fuck out of the office before he kicked my ass (he was black btw)
Truespin: So needless to say, im not going to think outside the box any time soon... |
#70439 (246/448) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Panda-> i love irc so much more than my family
<Panda-> mainly because my grandmother doesnt recognize me
<Panda-> BUT AUTHSERV DOES! |
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