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#309271* (?/29) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<opiates> Pokie: are you teaching sugardeath how to unhook a bra with one hand?
<Pokie> i cant even unhook my bra with one hand
<Supra> unhooking bras one handed is easy
<Supra> make the stupid star trek hand gesture
<Supra> actually
<Supra> depends on the kind of hook
<Pokie> OHMYGOD Supra thats hard
<Supra> yeah, so am I when I do it |
#309269* (?/35) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Macman393> I turned water into milk.
<Macman393> I am the moosiah.Comment: #TwoCans@irc.esper.net
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#309267* (?/19) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
* @Matt32 is gonna have to start a new science experiment - can warped records be fixed?
<@YelseyKing> Depends on where you warped them to. =P
<@NWH> Weren't records made to be broken?
<@Matt32> This is karma getting me back for always tormenting my little sister with bad puns. =P |
#309266* (?/27) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<@Soulcleaver> I've noticed Crack's quality has gone down lately while the output has gone up significantly.
<@Soulcleaver> Cracked
<@Soulcleaver> CRACKED
<@Soulcleaver> Feel free to take that line out of context
<@Xenesis> Hurr
<@YelseyKing> SC: That's because there are a lot more guest writers these days, while the regulars haven't been doing much lately.
* YelseyKing changes topic to '<Soulcleaver> I've noticed Crack's quality has gone down lately while the output has gone up significantly.'
<@NWH> *Soulcleaver gets arrested for possession of crack*
<@Xenesis> Hah
<@Treeki> *Cracked posts a new article; "The 7 Best Soulcleaver Mishaps"* |
#309265* (?/22) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<@Taryn> when I was like 14 I used to apply English pronunciation to Japanese words. I'd rhyme "anime" with "time". Yes, really. |
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#309264* (?/33) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<@Xenesis> Hell of a first sentence in a news article: "The government of Honduras sacks its ambassador to Colombia after the embassy was reportedly robbed by prostitutes during a drunken Christmas party. " |
#309263* (?/18) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<@Jukor> So this bar I went to last night had like a dozen arcade games in it and is themed as a "gamebar"
<@Jukor> They had a Neo-Geo with World Heroes 2 on it... the old "DON'T DO DRUGS!" splashscreens from the 90s
<@Jukor> was amusing seeing that at a bar |
#309262* (?/15) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<@EvilSpork> So I'm tempted for no particular reason to dress up in a really crazy industrial looking outfit and go out to dinner. Because I'm bored and hungry. |
#309261* (?/12) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<@Danika> I think my Wii was manufactured in early 2009, like the last ones that can do GC and read DVD-Rs
<@Danika> how can I find the manufacturing date? is it encoded in the serial number?
<@Taryn> cereal number!
<@Taryn> as a kid I thought it was a "cereal number" and wondered what it had to do with the food
<@Taryn> like, Frosted Flakes is number 37, Special K is number 61?
<@NWH> There used to be a cereal called "Kellogg's Product 19"
<@Danika> I remember "Basic 4", too |
#309260* (?/20) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<@YelseyKing> I've decided never again to buy anything big online, due to several expensive failures on that end.
<@NWH> Right. Sometimes it's just plain better to go storebought.
<@YelseyKing> After having to eat close to $500 in unreturnable things that weren't what I wanted... yeah, I'd rather not risk it.
<@YelseyKing> It's like, a while back, I bought myself a printer. Despite all my best efforts, it wouldn't work. Fortunately, I bought it at a local store, so I was able to return it and get one that *did* work.
<@NWH> Yeah. That's the part that worries me about how online retail is killing the brick-and-mortar stores.
<@NWH> No returns, no refunds.
<@YelseyKing> Online retail is certainly convenient, but yes, it's very hard to get refunds.
<@YelseyKing> And when we're talking big ticket items, that is not what you want to hear.
<@NWH> Making small purchases, like books, I can understand if you want to order them online. But major electronics...?
<@YelseyKing> Yeah, I have no plans to buy any more major electronics or furniture online.
<@NWH> And it's not like you can return a book to the store because it doesn't work.
<@NWH> "Yes, hello, Barnes and Noble? I have a book I'd like to return. It only came with forty-nine shades of grey." |
#309259* (?/23) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Ghostlyy>: I do know that they are weird and strange and possibly scary
<Ghostlyy>: and possibly venomous
<neet>: sexy.
<Ghostlyy>: and bite things
<Ryomu>: Ghostlyy: We're talking about snakes, not women.
<Ghostlyy>: same thing |
#309258* (?/17) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
< irv> bill gates will trigger his backdoor and all windows workstations/servers will relinquish control to the overlords
< oldtimeynerd> dhs probably has that button
< irv> ya but you know bill has the secret key
< blueskin> then Jobs will activate his secret backdoor and legions of apple fanboy zombies will do battle with MS at the end of the world
< blueskin> only the few Linux users (and that one BSD guy) will be there to save humanity.
< irv> iKill iKill |
#309255* (?/25) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
-->| penis_ (webchat@modemcable096.89-59-74.mc.videotron.ca) has joined #direwolf20
<penis_> how join
<Anbaric> no join
|<-- penis_ has left irc.esper.net (Client Quit) |
#309254* (?/26) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<+RMD> okay so
<+RMD> i went to the mall after lunch with lauren
<+RMD> and i went into hot topic thinking they might have some kind of doctor who stuff
<+RMD> so i waded through the wiz khalifa this and the dubstep that and the fucking meme shirts
<+RMD> so one fo the guys that works there comes up and asks me if there's anything he can help find
<+RMD> i tell him i'm looking for doctor who stuff and he points me towards the front of the store
<+RMD> and it's in this corner, past a whole bunch of my little pony shit
<+RMD> so i go past and i'm lookign through the doctor whos tuff
<+RMD> and allt he pony shit is made for men, by the way,l not one part of it is feminine cut or anything
<+RMD> and the guy comes back and asks if i'm finding everything okay
<+RMD> and i say yeah jsut to get him to fuck off because i need to get out of there and intot he mens room asap
<+RMD> and the guy says you know we've got all the new friendship is magic stuff
<+RMD> and i miheard him the first time so i look up and go wut
<+RMD> and he points to the brony stuff
<+RMD> and i said i'm nto a brony and i go back to the DW stuff
<+RMD> and he says oh come on man, don't you believe in love and friendship?
<+RMD> so i said no, i'm not a brony, i don't watch my little pony or any fo that
<+RMD> and he starts talking abotu the only peopel that don't are peopel that haven't tried it yet and he started to go on abotu something else
<+RMD> and i figured i'd just fart to get him out of there because i thought i had a big one on my rectum
<+RMD> so i do
<+RMD> and it's not all fart
<+RMD> and so i pushed too hard and i splattered in my shorts
<+RMD> and the guy's expression jsut shifted
<+RMD> and he goes
<+RMD> "dude did you jsut shit"
<+RMD> and i jsut glared at him
<+RMD> dude took off and called security
<+RMD> i told the security guys that eh was making unbecoming advances towards me
<+RMD> and he just goes THAT GUY TOOK A SHIT OVER THERE
<+RMD> anyways
<+RMD> i'm not supposed to go back to that mall for 30 daysComment: irc.420chan.org #420chan
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#309253* (?/11) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<+el_alco> i fucking hate bitcoin people
<+el_alco> it's like
<+Ergot> I hate any people made of coin
<+el_alco> hey how about you tip me with money i can actually access without dealing with currency trading?
<+el_alco> also money that is actually, y'know, real
<@blue> well most currency is fiat money
<@blue> so isn't really real
<@Loskene> I want audi money
<@Loskene> so it handles well
<@blue> i want alfa money
<@blue> every £20 it sets fire to itselfComment: #420chan
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Lyndon B Comic: A tri-monthly comic of the deathly important
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#309248* (?/26) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<fusion2004> "and later spent weeks improving the performance of the system through knowledge of the .NET framework by a factor of 1,000"
<fusion2004> wat
<Ramaniscence> HE SAID THAT?
<Ramaniscence> BY A FACTOR OF 1,000?
<fusion2004> yeah
<fusion2004> either he's lying, or their last dev was a sack of potatoes |
#309244* (?/4) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<segin> aaron
<segin> does the ballmer peak really exist?
<segin> or am I going to regret committing all this to subversion in the morning?
<snaphat> i dunno if it exists
<snaphat> however
<snaphat> if you don't drink a ton you can code perfectly fine
<snaphat> tapers off though eventually
<snaphat> i just start having focusing issues
<snaphat> which i'm pretty sure also is alot of why whiskey dick occurs |
#309242* (?/28) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Elizacat> our government couldn't stop a baby from choking on a plastic bag if it was on the congressional floor
<Elizacat> half of the house would say the baby should be allowed to die
<Elizacat> from its own stupidity
<Elizacat> and the other half would be too busy attaching riders to the bill to take the bag off the baby's head
<Elizacat> so in the end, the bill to remove the bag from its head, would contain funding packages for at least 10 gov't agencies
<Elizacat> then the senate would bicker that it's GOP legislation to remove the bag and that there should be a total ban on all bags everywhere
<Elizacat> in the end a supreme court ruling would rule it's unconstitutional to remove the bag from the baby's head, rendering it moot
<Elizacat> during all this
<Elizacat> obama just stays silent
<Elizacat> and prefers to focus on the fiscal cliff
<Andy> DISTRACTION |
#309241* (?/26) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Catdaemon`> I flossed my teeth and a bit of one came off and now it feels really sharp
<Catdaemon`> smh
<ninjers> chipped your tooth flossing
<ninjers> that's british as hell
<shane> ya wtf |
#309240* (?/37) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Yoda> I left mtr doing a traceroute on 4.2.2.2, for about 3 months. in an old screen session....
<Yoda> I found it just 3 days ago, closed it. and thought... oops.
<Yoda> and just today.. I got in the post box...
<Yoda> two raging letters from verizon...
<Yoda> one is from management saying someting to the effect of: Cease and Desist your DDoSing. Please.
<Yoda> the other reads: Hi I'm a sysadmin and I'm pissed off at you because you made me lose a bet.
<Yoda> <We used to place bets on when you would go offline> |
#309236* (?/28) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<kickaha> Now that I'm working, I really want to build up a little low-power box to run this chat session on.
<kickaha> I just don't know what I want to do to that end.
<`WarpKat> how about build up a little low-power box to run this chat session on???
<kickaha> thanks, warpy. I was having trouble connecting the dots.
<`WarpKat> no problem - glad to be of help...i was worried you might get stuck... =:) |
#309235* (?/25) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<powersurge> you guys know how they have ice cream sandwiches? why not ice cream hot pockets
<powersurge> they'll call em cold pockets
<powersurge> you guys I need to get hot pocket's number |
#309232* (?/33) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Odd> So someone from customer service at work forwarded me this e-mail: "Thank you for the confirmation of my book order, but you can save yourself and me a lot of time by not blowing up your schemes to 'help the environment.' What you call 'help the environment,' I call a Jewish communist plot to destroy nations and topple freedom. So spare me the smug rhetoric."
<Odd> It's my new favorite customer e-mail. |
#309231* (?/27) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
[18:00] <FTBServer_IRC> <GamerFreakaz0id> aren't you stil at work?
[18:00] <awweaver|InClass> Are your eyes malfunctioning? Do you not see "InClass" at the end of my name here? |
#309230* (?/20) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag
<Briman> oh, you're just turning all the EE2 stuff into Torches.
<Briman> lol.
<c4work> enlightened
<immibis> pun intended?
<c4work> mhm
<c4work> youre a bright one
(snip)
<c4work> thats terrible
<c4work> sorry to cast a shadow of doubt on the idea
<c4work> just seems dim witted
* c4work is on a pun streak
<c4work> you cant hold a candle to this streak
<c4work> fine ill extinguish the streak
<c4work> illuminate me on what qdb is ive obviously been living in the dark
<Briman> c4work, you're out-shining all of us. |
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