|#311602* (?/22) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag |
<F-Man> one time I did it while watching Star Wars (again, really horny) and I reached climax right when the death star blew up
|#311600* (?/19) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag |
<yipdw> I use IRC via a straw
<yipdw> that's why it sucks so much
|#311599* (?/25) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag |
<G-Flex> I just got another scam phone call
<G-Flex> for diabetic testing supplies
<G-Flex> you can really fucking tell these people anything
<G-Flex> I told them I have "tons of diabetes" and that I am Jaundice McLeod at P.O. Box 1901098, Little Compton, Alaska
<G-Flex> I asked them if they'd be delivering the equipment, because I've been having trouble receiving deliveries lately because there was an accident at a nearby laboratory and time around me has been very nonlinea
<G-Flex> "last week I got a lamp delivered from Amazon five times in a row, and that was before I even ordered it"
<G-Flex> he transferred me to another person and I told them the birth date they have on file for me is probably incorrect, as it has changed recently
<Moodcarver> ah the good old days in little compton
<Moodcarver> the fried pea salesmen hawking their gristle door to door
<G-Flex> she asked me what time it was where I am and I said "well in Alaska it's like noon, where I am it works a bit differently right now, I can actually see two suns in the sky and I can't really think about it or my nose will start bleeding again"
<G-Flex> I told her she could call me back in three hours, she said yes
|#311593* (?/27) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag |
<+Jigsy> I honestly rate the Emoji movie a ¬_¬ out of :>
|#311592* (?/15) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag |
<RenegadePanther> like korea has those one toilets that spray water up your ass
<RenegadePanther> it feels weird
<RenegadePanther> but you like it... so you start to question things.
<RenegadePanther> on your return trip from Seoul, you realize, you may never have that feeling of asshole water again, and you become incomplaicent.
<RenegadePanther> after a short while of using the american Johnathan Crappers, you realize you dont feel the same on your old porcelain throne. partially because it doesn't plug into the wall.
<RenegadePanther> You constantly bounce back and fourth from hopeful optimism that you will be able to order one. and then, crippling pessimism when you realize you may not be worthy of korean asshole spraying toilets.
<RenegadePanther> After months of this way of american life, you settle into a manic state, wondering if other seat-like structures will provide the same experience, yet; it never happens. Friends and family start to get worried.
<RenegadePanther> You finally hit rock bottom; you go into a life of crime, trying to get a hold. Trying to find your way to south Korean asshole-spraying toilets.
|#311591* (?/13) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag |
<@swight> man, CNN is depressing today - anchors are bursting into tears talking about Bourdain
<+tr3> yeah, i saw some stuff this morning about it
<+tr3> they were having a hard time talking
<@swight> was just listening to an anchor mention his daughter and she just full out cried
* +tr3 smacks swight
<+tr3> damn disc keeps skipping
<+tr3> playing the same segment over and over
* +tr3 pulls the plug
* @swight has left #geekissuesComment: #geekissues EFNet
|#311590* (?/16) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag |
<Thatnom> my mom gave me sex ed with 2 stuffies on my birthday in the gift shop
|#311588* (?/16) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag |
<@Splunge> why does the scottie terrier have to destroy everything
<@Splunge> even stuff which should have been safe on my desk
<@Splunge> RIP Flexi octopus
<@Half> Because he's a terriorist.Comment: #tsc
|#311586* (?/33) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag |
<Jigsy> I always hated learning Algebra in school. If I had to rate it, I'd give it X out of 10.
|#311584* (?/23) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag |
<furrywolf> yes, it is. why, exactly, are you using it? your doctor may be able to prescribe you medication that can help with that...
|#311582* (?/31) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag |
@KittyKatt | I'll describe the weather to you in the form of a haiku.
@KittyKatt | There are birds chirping
@KittyKatt | But my heater is broken
@KittyKatt | I am fucking cold
|#311580* (?/29) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag |
<YelseyKing> ...every time I hear a car alarm, I fantasize about dropping a piano on said vehicle.
|#311579* (?/26) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag |
<pholtos> Ted Nugent says Democrats should be shot like coyotes
<YelseyKing> Ted Nugent also said the kids protesting gun violence "have no soul". The guy is a lunatic.
<StriderHLC> Ted Nugent got out of Vietnam by shitting his pants for a week.
<StriderHLC> Just getting that out there.
|#311578* (?/16) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag |
<pholtos> Have you seen that website, "Ted Cruz for Human President"?
<YelseyKing> That Ted Cruz is "human" is up for debate.
<StriderHLC> Remember the time he liked a porn tweet
<StriderHLC> (fun fact: every single picture of ted cruz is hilarious under the headline "Ted Cruz liked a porn tweet")
|#311575* (?/17) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag |
<jonspw> what's wrong with irc?
<EricE> not a damn thing
|#311574* (?/16) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag |
<KKT> Oh the board game box's rate is $19
<KKT> I guess length makes a big difference
<bildramer> no, girth
<Namelesswonder> angle of the dangle
|#311573* (?/31) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag |
<Kite> Although Men are the default state and that's just a FACT
<Kite> I think people are born 51% male 49% female so :^)
<Cedric> I was born 100% male personally
|#311571* (?/23) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag |
<Cinos> you can't spell success without succ
|#311570* (?/23) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag |
<DEATH> Aaaahahahaha just had the best coding WTF moment ever
<DEATH> Better than cat-on-keyboard ones
<DEATH> Macbook suddenly started forcibly going to sleep in mid-work
<DEATH> Turns out, I was writing a debug routine with a thread sleeping + polling for a condition every 1 second, used Sleep(1000) which I *do* have declared somewhere as doing the same thing as on Windows, but forgot that the module I was doing this shit in was .m and therefore Obj-C without C++, which was calling some fucking implicitly declared C function instead of my thing, and putting the machine
<DEATH> to sleep.
<DEATH> So, if you accidentally copy Windows style Sleep(somenumber) to mac, in pure C mode rather than C++, it's going to put the machine to sleep.
<DEATH> And I thought I just broke the mac for a moment.
<DEATH> As amusing as a goatse sighting at 5 AM.
|#311569* (?/25) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag |
BadSpoon: I want a job in IT
but I don't want a job in IT
because when you get one, you find out that everyone else is fucking stupid
|#311567* (?/33) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag |
Darkness has joined
< MrSmurfing> Hello Darkness my old friend
< Darkness> I have a boyfriend
Darkness has left
|#311566* (?/18) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag |
* lilly_the_kitty tweaks one of Binding_Angel's wings
<TungstenCarbide> that's not a wing.
<lilly_the_kitty> Who are you to say such?
<TungstenCarbide> I'm a professional wing identifier with a doctorate in wing identification.
|#311565* (?/12) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag |
<toxik> jomi: vill du köpa bitcoins
<stevuu> bitcoins are so 2016
<toxik> a lot like your hairline
|#311563* (?/13) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag |
<Benny-G> o/ Someday, love will find you... o/
* Silverfur hides love in Russian's bed
<Russian> I'll wash the sheets
<Silverfur> i think it got into the mattress
|#311562* (?/25) ↑Keep It ↓Trash It ⚐Flag |
<cheapie> My left rear tire decided it didn't want to be a tire any more.
<Sunberry> Oh dear. What does it identify as now?
<cheapie> Random rubber bits on the road, I think.
<Sunberry> I hope you've decided to respect its choice and remove it from your car
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