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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..89909192939495..596Next> |
#294406 (233/545) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
(Bucks) That is why you hate midgets?
(@Fantasy) yep, I blame that evil midget in rehab
(refused) no rehab is complete without an evil midget
(@Fantasy) headbutted me in thr balls
(refused) LOL
(@Fantasy) and he was perfect height
(refused) rofl
(Bucks) rofl
(@Fantasy) his head was literally crotch height
(refused) who the fuck even does that
(@Fantasy) that midget
(refused) ... yeah obviously... but wtf.
(@Fantasy) after you spend a month making midget jokes
(refused) lol
(@Fantasy) to a cocaine addict in rehab
(@Fantasy) than on family/friends day having all your friends make fun of his midget kind
(@Fantasy) he came up and said something like "stop shitting, dog"
(refused) you kinda deserved it then
(@Fantasy) I laughed
(@Fantasy) he said you want to start something
(@Fantasy) I said say it to my face
(@Fantasy) and LAUGHED
(@Fantasy) he headbutted me in the balls
(@Fantasy) I was on the ground
(refused) yeah of course
(@Fantasy) crying
(refused) I'd give that fucking midget a medal
(@Fantasy) so he squatted down and said "stop messing with me"
(@Fantasy) right in my face
(Bucks) what an wesome midget
(@Fantasy) had to get a new roomate after that
(@Fantasy) since the midget was my roomate
(@Fantasy) and since then I've been afraid of midgets |
#294401 (181/489) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< sharkhat> and yeah, now im the weird guy at work because of the pooping asian drawing |
#292618 (505/897) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
* CHOzen1 has joined #wow
<CHOzen1> i’m systematically stuffing grapenuts cereal into the head of my erect penis. i’m going to attempt to jack off, have my load mix with the grapenuts, and shoot a granola bar out when i cum
* CHOzen1 has left #wow
<+Sohcahtoa> What the FUCK!? |
#289288 (364/592) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
[middle of december]
<Wuffles> I just got my subscription confirmation for my MySQL course of November, 24
<Wuffles> How about that for timely delivery
<wouter> Wuffles: lol.
<wouter> thats quite early if its for next year. :)
<Wuffles> it isn't, alas :-)
<Wuffles> wouter: it gets better: the young lady answered that it was because they had trouble with their database :-D |
#273721 (2660/3046) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
chewypow: so when i worked at Starbucks in little rock, there was this super hot 18 year old, miss teen usa right
chewypow: she came in one day and was talking to me and told me when she was brushing her hair that morning, a lot of it came out.. she then continues to explain that she thought she had 'chemo'
chewypow: a week later she comes in and uses some mouthwash, and then swallows it. I point out to her that it says on the back if accidently swallowed to call poison control immediately
chewypow: she reads the label and looks at me and says "Oh.. it's ok. I didn't do it on accident"
muku: ...
chewypow: exactly. brain synapses stop firing when you hear this story right?Comment: Sadly a true story
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#233784 (155/439) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<celeste> d00d my room is so fucking cold now i don't even know what i'm going to do when it's actually winter...or even fall...
<celeste> right now i'm wrapped up in a sweatshirt, sweatpants and two blankets with my laptop on my lap and still cold
<ilanbg> wow
<ilanbg> oh yeah, I forgot you're in Boston
<celeste> (insert you talking about how nice the weather is down there and how you're probably sitting in your boxers....)
<ilanbg> I had to turn up the AC a little while ago
<ilanbg> oh lol |
#270224 (310/502) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
The Fizz Meister: Ungh, ME.
The Fizz Meister: I had to use that for several years.
The Fizz Meister: :(
The Fizz Meister: Bonus was that if I was about to get caught using porn, I'd just restart it.
The Fizz Meister: Say it crashed.
The Fizz Meister: Worked every time.Comment: BYOND
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#244791 (655/863) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<TerrorBite> Parse error: parse error, unexpected spanish inquisition in /var/www/index.php on line 51
<NotoriousOIT> bwaha
<kazin> I'm sure the author wasn't expecting that. |
#171576 (327/561) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<CrazyJames> I know how not to cook lobster
<CrazyJames> me mother worked for the gas company
<CrazyJames> on a helphone back in the seventies
<CrazyJames> giving out reciepes
<CrazyJames> booking appointments etc
<CrazyJames> someone called her asking how to get the lobsters to stop tapping on the glass of the oven door |
#281910 (327/573) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Gregabyte_> huh... apparently the mayor of Birmingham has been arrested for corruption
<Gregabyte_> and the city is on the edge of bankruptcy
* brimstone turns on the bat sign
<I-MOD> nice....
<MrWorld> Yeah, Alabama Batman is great. The Bat-truck really hauls ass
<Gregabyte_> his arch nemeses include the Possum, Literacy Man, and the Dentist
<MrWorld> And don't forget Alabama Joker
<MrWorld> he may be just a pig in a bunch of clown makeup, but he's still a formidable opponnent |
#265546 (281/555) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<+arinder> evening
<&Frell> Afternoon
<+Highfarm> well hello there children...
<+arinder> i have Popsicles in my basement
<+Highfarm> is that another way of saying you´re taking it in the ass ? :D
<+arinder> wow i never thought it that way :D
<+arinder> :( |
#176439 (225/537) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<IpodLinux> Ubuntu is African word for "I just switched from windows" |
#282392 (458/654) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<sereni> What the hell.
<sereni> It's not my fault the kid came up to my fucking window and stood there for 5 minutes before his parents did anything.
<sereni> Yeah, I have blinds for a reason, but you're a god damn parent for a reason. |
#280368 (524/722) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
greggacam|Farming: What's "user intelligence too low" mean? |
#279763 (660/794) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Infidel> hey i have about 50+ foreighn ips connected to my comp
<Infidel> should i be worried?
<Sky> what port, what protocol?
* Infidel hat die Verbindung getrennt (Ping timeout)
<Sky> yes, you should be worried. |
#279301 (1597/1861) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<yoshi> Why someone just rode by my house playing a William Tell overture on a trumpet at 7 AM in the rain, I will never know. |
#278831 (467/787) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<laffy> i wanna get stoned
<assembler> go to iran then |
#277257 (410/724) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<JSensebe> We've gone from Jesus to cockbacon in under half an hour. Good work, people. |
#144439 (246/558) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<[UTM][ri]TuttiFrutti> oooo
<[UTM][ri]TuttiFrutti> RnB means rhythm and blues?
<[89]Z> yea >_>
<[UTM][ri]TuttiFrutti> i always thought rap and black |
#271579 (506/668) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Sharq> I was at work one day with my fellow temps at an IT job, fairly menial work for someone in IT, such as OS upgrades on old hardware...
<Sharq> Anyways, one day we were discussing our wages, considering the fact that they probably knew we were accomplishing dick-all in our hole in the wall while roaming the internet unmonitored using our admin privileges.
<Sharq> That's when I thoughtfully declared that they were not in fact paying us for our work. I pointed out that we worked with no supervision, limited accountability and no job security (we were done working there as soon as the project's time-table finished).
<Sharq> With this in mind I argued this point while gesticulating wildly at a pile of over a hundred freshly unpacked and reformatted laptops worth over $200,000...
<Sharq> They were in fact just bribing us not to steal shit. |
#269623 (331/641) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<jed> god DAMNIT what did i DO WITH IT
<jed> i packed a bowl, right here
<metallic> jed: how high are you?
<jed> i'm not
<jed> that's why i'm LOOKING FOR THE GOD DAMNED WEED |
#213047 (424/802) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<mancha> the ancient greeks believed the heart was the thinking organ
<mancha> of course, we know now they were wrong. it's the penis.
<DemisM> Mancha: What´s the female´s thinking organ?
<mancha> DenisM, exactly! |
#265271 (248/490) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
asrskz: Don't tell me who won the 2000 election. I have the coverage on disk but I have not gotten around to watching it. Don't spoil it for me
Alexius: hehe
asrskz: Only last week I found out that Clinton was re-elected in 1996.
Alexius: Yup.
Alexius: Wait for the next two seasons. They're really shocking!Comment: #TVTorrents
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#234806 (356/620) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Xoke> drinking decaf is like masturbating and faking an orgasmComment: #linuxcranks
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#270887 (968/1148) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Betty> So, wanna go see a movie tomorrow
<Sokol> NO! I toled you, i haev a girlfriend!!!
<Betty> I AM YOUR GIRLFRIEND YOU STONED FUCK!!! |
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