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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..93949596979899..596Next> |
#176538 (605/779) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Exolent: I'll be back in like 15 minutes, i need to fake going to sleep so i can come back and stay up.
(the next morning)
Exolent: Sorry i didn't come back last night. i fell asleep trying to fake fall asleep. |
#159367 (550/686) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<SgnaTriste> I used to give the entries in my Thunderbird address book nicknames like "smartass", "deadhead" or "nincompoop" until I noticed that they're sent along in the TO-header. |
#143212 (798/904) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<AllAgesDave> There are two seniors in here reading a copy of A Catcher in the Rye, and debating the meaning of the word "illiterate."
<AllAgesDave> One is saying it means "literature" and the other says it means "insane".
<Dre> :-[
<AllAgesDave> They just decided upon "language." Fuck my generation. |
#227362 (839/1063) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<TheCheat> I'm pissed off! I'm hungry, bored, my gf's knocked up, and bitchy, i'm smoking my last cig, i'm out of wee, my d key doesn't work all the time and my internet sucks cus i have to use a cell phone to get on line, that locks up when ever it feels like it!
<@carnt> TheCheat: Hi! It looks like you're blogging on IRC. Would you like to: [Add Comments] [e-Mail this to a Friend] [Digg This!] [Submit to Slashdot] [Add to del.icio.us] [Commit suicide because nobody cares] |
#141808 (163/449) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Quantas: I'm waiting for my mom to roll it.
Alt: There is nothing about that sentence that isn't fucking hilarious.
Quantas: LOL I know
Quantas: but it's true
Quantas: I can't roll
[30 Minutes Later]
Quantas: I just toked. With my mom.
Alt: Yeah, again, there's several things wrong with this concept.
Quantas: It's canada, eh? |
#138397 (17/541) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<kn0thing> THIS IS RANDALL MUNROE I'VE TAKEN OVER ALEXIS'S KEYBOARD
<kn0thing> Okay, now that I have control of reddit, what should I do with it?
<kn0thing> I think I'll just set up a redirect to Digg. |
#227599 (400/596) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<RizBow> you son of a bitch
<RizBow> you have me on ignore
<OCRE> No
<OCRE> I'm just ignoring you
<OCRE> you son of a bitchComment: #ocremix
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#226816 (129/405) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
craig: If Not Me Is Nothing Then Visible = True
craig: my code is getting existential
chagster: thats awful
craig: i hope it's not having a GenericIdentity crisis =\ |
#225306 (-5/603) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Nyschashi-Seikun> got my driver's license
<Nyschashi-Seikun> I thought I would fail
<Nyschashi-Seikun> I dodged a hobo that darted out into the street, and I had to fly into the oncoming traffic lane
<Nyschashi-Seikun> I also dodged a woman with a babyComment: (Were you driving a Dodge? --Ed.)
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#226601 (153/441) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ktea> I'm not wasting waffles on my vagina
<@d_e> waffles and vagina in the same sentence.
<@d_e> that. is. greatness.
<@d_e> two of my favorite things.
<@d_e> add some bacon.
<@rm-fr> two great tastes, together at lastComment: #bifemunix on Efnet
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#225719 (427/661) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
scaramouche: My inhibitions are the only thing keeping me from fucking everything that walks erect.
scaramouche: ... >_<
scaramouche: I don't know how to salvage that sentence.
WildTang3nt: That is so fucking epic, I can't even make a witty remark about it.
WildTang3nt: Instead I shall stare in reverence for several moments
scaramouche: Yes, kneel before me, mortal.
WildTang3nt: I'll kneel before you... :) so I can eat you out ;)
scaramouche: I knew that was coming.
scaramouche: GAH/
scaramouche: FOR FUCK'S SAKE JUST GAG ME.
WildTang3nt: with... what? ;)
scaramouche: AAAAAAAH WHY CAN'T I STOP
scaramouche: SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP |
#188970 (1838/2042) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<G-Flex> I was stealing wifi once and got into the people's router and I just like
<G-Flex> wound up upgrading their firmware |
#150314 (491/667) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Sam> Coding in C is like sending a 3 year old to do groceries. You gotta tell them exactly what you want or you'll end up with a cupboard full of pop tarts and pancake mix. |
#134635 (446/612) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[xexyz] --- sdf.lonestar.org ping statistics ---
[xexyz] 2 packets transmitted, 32 packets received, 0% packet loss
[nooper] lol
[nooper] damn
[xexyz] that's what is commonly referred to as "Voodoo Networking" |
#225287 (516/716) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<T1gger> I just screwed up severely...
<T1gger> I brought a girl (a big girl) home and it went further than it should have...
<T1gger> Her arse is gone now, but how do I let her down gently?
<deNYEd> forklift. |
#224012 (616/790) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<psypete> ok, so i have a question
<psypete> fellow geohashers
<psypete> is there any prize or accomplishment for geohashing in a hurricane?
<joannac|reallyAsleep> a darwin award |
#223767 (1015/1155) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Scrumps> Hm... how do you log a user out remotely?
<ShinCS> sniper rifle |
#223252 (74/320) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Mondus> Hey everyone.. Are any of you geniuses porting Google Chrome to FreeBSD or are you aware of anyone working on that?
<anxt> we use links
<indigoflux> I use telnet.
<phx> nah, netcat
<phx> telnet parses control characters instead of me, doing a poor job |
#222135 (232/466) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
InfernalTempestX: she's like
InfernalTempestX: you'll never change
InfernalTempestX: i'm like
InfernalTempestX: you'll never lose weight |
#220694 (312/522) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@r0cko> i think im getting to old for video games, I was playing NCAA and my fucking moron QB fumbled on the last play of the game that would have been a touchdown and won the game for me, so I take the controller and slam one of the corners on my desk and it exploded into about 50 pieces, when I was a kid I was never strong enough to break shit...damn |
#216681 (504/772) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Colin: So I saw this really hot chick in a bar and I'm thinking man I gotta talk to her. Then i saw she had a black eye and thought, damn, shes taken.
Mike: Looks like someone beat ya to it. |
#215897 (221/453) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<kris> damn 1337, now everyone's numberplate is talking to me |
#187177 (803/913) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<steven> ok, burning 2 CDs and then we're off to the hospital to have a baby |
#150313 (415/619) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<fugi> when mccain wins the election and invades iran, do we get to yell "Monopoly!" and put hotels across iraq, iran and afghanistan? |
#220691 (231/473) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Aga: I just binned a condom
Aga: it had ran past its expiry date
Aga: ...somehow I make sure to always have one around in case somebody else might be in dire need of one |
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