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#270129 (740/890) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< Frowardd> this channel, collectively, is alikened to a bundle of burning cigarettes
< Frowardd> ie, full of nicotine and bad for me.
< Frowardd> goodnight
<@relsqui> that was the subtlest way to call us all fags ever
< Selig> relsqui: what was?
<@relsqui> exactly. |
#268831 (121/383) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<bobjam> Demonstrators in Cairo demanded Tuesday that Saudi Arabia release an Egyptian doctor sentenced to 15 years in prison and 1,500 lashes after he was convicted of malpractice reportedly after treating a Saudi princess.
<bobjam> saudi arabia is bad.
<Snow> But I bet their malpractice insurance costs are lower than ours. |
#266270 (4884/5712) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Curt teh Juggler: our graduation ceremony was today, and right when some gamer nerd got his diploma, someone in the audience played the zelda "get item" music and he did the zelda spin-hold-out-item stance
Curt teh Juggler: it was quite possibly the most amazing thing ever. |
#266249 (444/696) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Jesus> Lee: tricking wow players into installing keyloggers must be an fun activity
<Jesus> I imagine you'd eventually lose your vision looking at page after page of wwwwwwwwwwwwssadwasdadadwdawdadawwwwwwwwwwwwwadssssssdasdawwwwwwwwwwwdaswwa |
#266051 (387/633) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<PandaFister> pedo = feet or love of the ground
<OliveTower> America spells it pedophile
<@PandaFister> because their FUCKING STOOPID
<@PandaFister> do I have to go through the whole pedo/paedo explination
<@PandaFister> e.g. a pedometer counts how many footsteps you've made
<@PandaFister> and a paedometer counts how many children you've fucked |
#265238 (351/645) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<celeste> i was going to give her a lapdance if it seemed appropriate
<celeste> but i mean....
<celeste> why wouldn't it be?
<ilanbg> my opinion is that lapdances are appropriate by default
<ilanbg> and only in extreme cases are they inappropriate
<ilanbg> e.g. if you have a kid in your lap
<ilanbg> that's really the only example I can think of |
#264456 (776/1024) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< bsmntbombdood> StumbleUpon has temporarily run out of sites relevant to you. Please sign up for more topics.
< bsmntbombdood> wtf!
< bsmntbombdood> i've run out of internet! |
#262694 (539/755) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@terminal> dell guy is here replacing some hardware in a server
<@terminal> dude fucking smacks his head in to the power button of another server and takes it down |
#262095 (7696/9094) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<hypnosis> 1. The human cell contains 75 MB of genetic information
<hypnosis> 2. A sperm 37.5 MB.
<hypnosis> 3. In a milliliter, we have 100 million sperms.
<hypnosis> On average, one ejaculation releases 2.25 ml in 5 seconds.
<hypnosis> Using basic math we can compute the bandwidth of the human male penis as:
<hypnosis> (37.5MB x 100M x 2.25)/5 = (37,500,000 bytes/sperm x 100,000,000 sperm/ml x 2.25 ml) / 5 seconds = 1,687,500,000,000,000 bytes/sec = 1,687.5 TerraBytes/sec
<Jck_true> Sweet
<Jck_true> DoS attack!!!
<hypnosis> a bukkake would probably be a DDoS then
<hypnosis> 11 men would give 17 petabytes/secComment: ##programming on FreeNode
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#261898 (398/640) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@Kamaris> so apparently at 8:04 this morning i sent an email to the department
<@Kamaris> subject line "Srghb"
< MrCodez_> Kamaris, you sat on your phone and sent an email?
<@Kamaris> no, i jabbed angrily at it when i woke up late while using my thumb with one eye open
<@Kamaris> i was trying to say "i will be in late"
< MrCodez_> going for the phonetic spelling of that I see... |
#234804 (3508/4010) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<vdou|> cat is a catnip junkie
<vdou|> she loves rubbing her face in it
<vdou|> i thought it was weird
<vdou|> until I imagined what I would do with pot if I didnt have thumbs or fire |
#232500 (273/499) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
IndigoNocturna: When the guy sat next to me on the bus, it reminded me that for most of my life, I thought that all older men had the same smell... and then I realized that the smell is booze. |
#262692 (333/641) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Elleo> someone should open a geek pub that only plays prog rock called The Progress Bar |
#230963 (265/581) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<dalezy> the last time i saw [xxx] he seemed all shy and .. well, not into drugs at all! what made him turn that way? :D
<GargajCNS> drugs |
#261933 (986/1186) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<elDiablo> I HATE MENUS
<elDiablo> MEN FUCKING US
<elDiablo> ...
<elDiablo> Wait a minute
<Xarlaxas> ?
<MaximusBrood> Typo of the day.
<elDiablo> Quiet you |
#244195 (263/571) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
BigPapaSmurf695: what the hell is a nosegay
az721: it's like a bouquet
BigPapaSmurf695: oh
BigPapaSmurf695: i figured they just put nose and gay together to make a silly name
BigPapaSmurf695: its like saying earhomo
BigPapaSmurf695: or eyefag
az721: ok, i think we should really try to get earhomo into the lexicon |
#234637 (229/521) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<hectorofchad> I've seen the coat hanger abortion reference elsewhere but never really thought about it
<hectorofchad> I guess the hook helps
<hyp3rhax0r> I was never really sure how that worked and made a point of not trying to figure it out
<hectorofchad> haha
<hectorofchad> probably for the best
<hyp3rhax0r> fetuses are deathly allergic to coathangers as far as I'm concerned >_>
<hyp3rhax0r> NOBODY CORRECT ME |
#210672 (224/482) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
-> From Ultor, to House:
- a friend back at RPI built a "headache generator". He read that the resonant
- frequency of sinus cavities is in the mid-30KHz range and built an oscillator
- to produce that and put it in the heat vents going to the upstairs
- apartment where they were prone to play really loud thumpa-thumpa music. |
#205808 (215/561) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Sektor> to the quote site, David!
<Neko> bash?
<Neko> qdb?
<Neko> i mean there isnt alot of selection, especially since it seems the tards working at both taking goddamn years to accept quotes
<Neko> its like they go through the entire american legal system to determine if something is amusing
<Neko> whats worse is half the quotes are terrible
<Neko> which i guess reflects it perfectly.Comment: ircstorm #teen-chat
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#154605 (190/592) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@randi> seething. in. rage.
<@randi> i mean, seriously. who the fuck tries to connect to ssl via ssh?
<@randi> ssh must be the end all solution for connecting to *anything* that is encrypted
<@randi> i mean, my god.
<@randi> seriously.
<@randi> how the fuck did i ever have sex with him.
<@Verjigorm> Tab A, slot B
<@rm-fr> you had sex with someone who doesn't know the difference between ssh and ssl and who can't configure a FreeBSD workstation?
<@randi> YES
<@randi> i'm going to go home and scrub my vag until it bleeds.Comment: #bifemunix on EFnet
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#151114 (198/488) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<MystMystMystMyst> There's a famous guy who reminds me of you: Richard Borcherds.
<bbot> What was he convicted of? |
#141016 (144/506) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Sephgara> I've always wondered something...
<Xan> What?
<Sephgara> If you stab a fat person, would you get fat on the knife when you pull if out?
<_Celador> Ah a question for the ages |
#259078 (269/527) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<charles> If every time I walk into Urban Outfitters, I want to kill myself, does that make me anti-emo or emo? |
#258093 (592/748) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<The Alchemist> you know
<The Alchemist> wow have been useful for me
<The Alchemist> from time to time, as a wannabe game developer, i feel this urge to make a online game
<The Alchemist> then i check the wow comunity
<The Alchemist> and then i see that if one day i make a online game, will have to deal with those same retards, and the urge goes away |
#257781 (217/519) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Kyle> December is just around the corner, and you know what that means.
<st0ned> Christmas?
<Kyle> no
<Kyle> DOCTOR WHO CHRISTMAS SPECIAL 2008 |
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