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#201076 (20/60) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Foxhill> i like everyone else to get married so i can sit here grinning that i'm not
<Foxhill> 'oh you had to cook dinner for your mother-in-law? i spent the night wanking in front of the internet, you lose'
#200688 (2/42) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<DoctorPhileasFragg> So how about people making penises in Spore?
<mrbobjoe> It won't work, you're a freak
<GenericLoser> Then Spore can't truly claim to have user-generated content.
<Helmholz> Everyone's buying the game so they can make penises.
#200629 (22/56) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<EternalSailorSaturn> and so i tell my gynecologist, well, you're putting so many things in my vagina, maybe i should charge you
#199365 (4/44) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<knoeki> :pd: <--- tounge kiss ;_)
<knoeki> or 'french kiss' as the americans may say
<knoeki> in dutch a 'french kiss' is a blowjob
Comment: #zomgwtfbbq irc.p2p-network.net
#197814 (6/54) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Jamm0n> when i first cummed i thought i broke my penis
<Jamm0n> i tried to shove the goo back inside
#195546 (9/41) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Leslie_S> I dunno if anyone that would care is here, but im sure anyone could laugh about the situation im in now
<Leslie_S> I've been stuck at this damn terminal for 2 days because i was involved in a crash at 3mph
<Leslie_S> it did THAT MUCH damage to our equipment...
#188760 (1/47) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
kennygprs: the feet on one side of my tower are missing so its a gangster leanin' tower
#188054 (25/65) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<amorph> whats your girlfriends ass got in common with a 9V battery?
<amorph> you know its wrong, but sooner or later youre gonna put your tongue on it :D
#185748 (1/43) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Dude-O> Jesus should have a facebook and a Myspace. And his myspace isn't cluttered with shitty animated gifs, flash, and other crap that makes other people's computers melt.
#185553 (-1/43) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<scalar> I just found the platic bag that my ex-girlfriend used to keep my first gray hair
#311421 (43/55) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<CaptainJistuce> I am still waging a linguistic battle against that use of the term fixed. Surely an animal works as intended before the procedure, which renders a major subsystem inoperational. They are broken afterwards.
#310739 (12/28) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
* Burrito has quit (Quit: Leaving)
* Nach0z has quit (Ping timeout: 240 seconds)
<Glorfindel> noooooooooooooooooooooo. my foooood!!!
#304873 (34/68) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Jake|E5400> There's spaghetti in the southbridge
<Jake|E5400> and steak on my CD
<Jake|E5400> I kid you not
<Jake|E5400> I just dropped a steak on my XP install disk
<~tidux> lol
* Jake|E5400 wipes it off
<ll_TankPad> Windows XP Medium Rare Edition
Comment: #wtfpwnt on irc.rubbermallet.org
#239514 (14/38) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<iMaal> wtf
<iMaal> i listened half the metallica album with no sound on :D
#299924 (27/47) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Funkmob> He's replaced Coke with Code... he does hundreds of lines a night.
#311400 (19/39) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<steve> so there was this documentation for Structured bonds missing
<steve> apparently someone has labeled the document as SRUCTured bonds
<steve> inside the document there was a link to a SQL query
<steve> but whenever you clicked it it would show title bar of the window only
<steve> when you resized it to see the query, you would see the window is empty
<steve> but somehow copy and paste worked and you could copy from empty window
<steve> in editor you would get two queries
<steve> one for version 3.1.29 and newer and one for versions prior to 3.1.29
<steve> we had 3.1.29, so OBVIOUSLY the one working was the older one
<steve> lost 3 hours because of this
<steve> this is some new level of fuckery
#311314 (66/90) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Jigsy> So is it possible to restore the United States from a backup?
#310812 (8/22) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<robin> it probably is adobe's fault
<robin> i bet you could measure the dollar cost of adobe security breaches
<robin> then calculate the amount of funding that programs like food stamps would have received had productivity not been wasted on adobe security breaches
<robin> pretty sure acrobat reader and flash are responsible for child hunger
#306827 (42/70) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
PokerFace: 12++ = 7503840
XoNiC: unlikely.
PokerFace: thats what the instrument says
PokerFace: only happens when compiled for sh3
PokerFace: its fine in x86
XoNiC: That's what sh3 said.
#311434 (46/48) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<truck> DDT was stopped by police once "why are you here"
<truck> he showed his phone playing ingress
<truck> "I am a network technician, I am scanning this area for wireless problems"
<truck> "ok then"
<truck> police drive off
#311083 (16/36) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@DigDug> in russia you're now going to get fined for sharing instructions on how to use a vpn or otherwise avoid the countrywide firewall
<@|silicon> apt-get install openvpn
<@|silicon> bam
<@|silicon> :o
<@normod> shut up |silicon, you'll get fired
<@|silicon> fired from what?
<@|silicon> please don't say a canon into the sun
<@DigDug> |silicon: that will be 50000 rubles
* normod furiously pushes backspace
<@DigDug> STOP RESISTING
<@|silicon> is that a gay couple kissing and dumping vodka into street?
* |silicon runs
#299949 (33/53) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
Joe: Tommy's room is right next to mine and the walls are really thin
Joe: Every time I hear him start yelling at his friends over Xbox Live when I am trying to sleep
Joe: I release the IP address on our router
#310594 (16/24) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<rymate1234> z33k33 is trolling imo
<walle303> s/troll/z33k33
<PikalaxALT> walle303: rymate1234 actually meant: z33k33 is z33k33ing imo
<walle303> A sleeping POKeMON blocks the way!
<Renb> s/^.*$/butts/
<PikalaxALT> Renb: walle303 actually meant: butts
<Renb> s/^.*$/\nQUIT :butts/
<PikalaxALT> Renb: PikalaxALT actually meant:
* PikalaxALT has quit (Quit: butts)
<Renb> LOL
Comment: abusing a sed script.
#309432 (14/40) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Dacon_> you're messed up
<Huggles> how is this new information
<Dacon_> just feels like something you need to be reminded of
<Huggles> i feel through a floor and my car is full of bees
<Huggles> i dont need to be reminded
#309218 (15/39) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@TheGiz> I think one day I'm going to invent a peripheral for games to drive home just how violent they are
<@TheGiz> Like a boxing glove on a spring and when you lose a fight in the game an on-screen prompt will instruct you to take your lumps like a man
<@TheGiz> And if you DON'T do it, then it'll wait until you're asleep and R2-D2 roll into your bedroom and sock you then
<@TheGiz> Gonna admit
<@TheGiz> I really just want to spend the rest of my life designing robots that punch people in the face
<@TheGiz> Either as video game peripherals
<@TheGiz> Enhanced interrogation machines
<@TheGiz> Gladiator Bloodsports
<@TheGiz> whatever
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