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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..55565758596061..596Next> |
#300537 (439/609) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
bobthekiller: i make your mom wine bitch
BadSpoon: that's nice of you |
#300501 (580/728) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<altoid> my cock is as big as snow leopard's :P
<altoid> (i sure hope snow leopards have big cocks now that i said that)
<Dave2> I bet you're the first ever person to say "i sure hope snow leopards have big cocks" |
#301217 (169/319) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Tyala> ... So Colonization has this system for educating your non-specialist colonists into specialized ones.
<Tyala> Except this always changes the graphic of the unit to the specialist graphic.
<Tyala> You can put Missionaries in native american tribes to convert some of them, giving you Converted Native units.
<Tyala> ... Then you can educate them in the school... but... this turns their graphic to.. a white man.
<Tyala> .... That's some pretty hardcore conversion there.
<Tyala> I'm pretty sure affirmative action students don't come out of college white.
<Tyala> Even more disturbing, one and only one of the specialist types uses a female for the graphic. So you can also educate their penis away O.o |
#301216 (15/569) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<CapnStrongnose> it kills the mood when you cum in your own eye |
#301188 (264/496) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+Kirjava> it's not incest
<+Kirjava> our parents are divorced |
#301186 (112/274) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<logicus_> hey hello, i found the followoing set intuitively appealing {{ }, {{ }}, {{ }, {{ }}}, {{ }, {{ }}, {{ }, {{ }}}}, {{ }, {{ }}, {{ }, {{ }}}, {{ }, {{ }}, {{ }, {{ }}}}}}, is there a mathematical reason?
<Polytope> is schizophrenia a mathematical reason? |
#301183 (22/250) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<h0dg3s> anyone here good with vista and domains?
<NoMoreNicksLeft> Yes. I'm a Vista expert.
<NoMoreNicksLeft> What's your question?
<h0dg3s> I have a vista pc that was deleted out of AD and it won't let me log on locally
<h0dg3s> son ofnm, reboot worked
<NoMoreNicksLeft> That'll be $75. Rounded up to the hour, of course.Comment: #reddit
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#301161 (312/426) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<&Brat> So, I had an awkward moment this morning.
<&Brat> My dad found one of the pairs of panties that I keep lying around to dress up in sometimes, but this in itself wasn't why it was so awkward
<@TeTarga> They where wet?
< centaur> He tried them on?
<&Brat> I had had Emily over late a couple of days before New Years and we spent the night up in my quarters watching movies. Now, Emily is only just a little bit bigger than I am so it's plausible that the panties were hers, and that's what I think he assumed
<&Brat> And he thinks we had sex when she was over
< centaur> lol score.
<&Brat> So he handed them over and said "I found this in your laundry basket... good job son"
< centaur> He is like yay, you're not gay!
<@TeTarga> Hahahaha
<&Brat> It was just totally awkward. I wasn't sure what he was talking about for a second and then he said "Yeah, I used to take trophies too"
<&Brat> And I was like "oh yeah, totally" and came back upstairs with them |
#301115 (7/239) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Indogutsu> Oh, funny thing I saw at Publix a week or two ago. You know those magazines in the checkout line?
<Indogutsu> One of them was a women's magazine with two rather contradictory headlines on the cover: "Party like Paula Deen this Christmas!" and "Lose 20 pounds by the New Year!" |
#301176 (188/388) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Mike_W> my toilet is having issues, evidently i've been blaming my cat for pissing in the basement by error
<Mike_W> when my toilet is flushed, my furnace in the basement gets a golden shower
<Worf> and then the furnace turns on and the smell propagates throughout the house
<Mike_W> it's not a _lot_ an ounce out of a gallon
<Mike_W> but over time that's been the cause of this issue i've been near ready to get rid of my cat over
<Mike_W> and enough to rust out the top of the furnace ductwork
<Mike_W> I found the issue today when i was rebooting the terrastation after the power outage and mary was upstairs. she flushed the toilet, I got wet (terrastation is next to furnace)
<Mike_W> it doesn't propagate through the house thankfully, it's just in the basement area
<Mike_W> i've been trying to find where the cat was pissing for a month
<Mike_W> turns out it's been me all along...sigh |
#301159 (137/307) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<stay> have you ever browsed Yahoo Answers religion section?
<stay> i swear
<stay> its where the idea for 4chan came from |
#301129 (321/473) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Jake> I had an awesome moment in my college
<Jake> We had a video project due, and this group of wanna-be programmers were saying how theirs was so awesome
<Jake> While they weren't looking, I yelled "WE SUCK PENIS" and added it into the slide show after one of the people said "What do we do?"
<Dan> LOL
<Jake>They must have caught me
<Jake>When the day came, while waiting for the part
<Jake>One of the guy asks "Jake, what does your family do every Wednesday night?"
<Jake>In my voice, it yelled "WE SUCK PENIS"
<Jake>I should've been mad... but I was far too astounded to be mad.. |
#301119 (503/649) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
xoebus: *sigh* One of my flatmates just asked "Where is Admiral Ackbar from?", I replied "Mon Calamari". He then said "No which series, Star Trek or Star Wars or something else; you fucking geek."
xoebus: I feel loved.Comment: #inf2, irc.imaginarynet.org.uk
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#301089 (118/264) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<cmihai> eval 1/1
<evaluator491756> cmihai: 1
<flyingparchment> eval `uname`
<evaluator491756> flyingparchment: AIX
*** [Signoff: evaluator491756 (Remote closed the connection)]
<Tempt> you killed it before I could have fun
<cmihai> This is the first bot I wrote, mkey? :P
<e^ipi> massivesecurityholebot 0.1 ? |
#301149 (414/502) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+endemDan> i need to find a new job, where customers are not so retarded
<@Gusterbuster> Someone call you and say 'Can you hear me now?'
<+endemDan> no i have had that happen before, but this is even worse
<+endemDan> a customer calls in support from their cell and says she cant find the function she wants to take a pic with
<+endemDan> so i get her phone model blah blah blah, then ask what exactly shes trying to do
<+endemDan> she says 'i see pictures of people where they are holding their phone and are in the picture themselves, how do i take a picture of myself and my phone if the camera does not come off the phone'
<+endemDan> she continues with 'also how are they getting a picture of themselves from the front if i can see the flash?, like the camera is facing away from them during the picture. how do i do that?'
<+endemDan> i couldnt even respond or laugh, i was just in complete awe that someone was actually serious about this question
<+endemDan> then i asked her if she has ever looked at herself in the mirror, and freaks out thinking i just called her ugly or some shit and demands to speak to my manager
<+endemDan> so i put her on hold, get him over and tell him the story and he doesnt believe me and gets on the phone and has her repeat everything she said and then asks her about the complaint against me
<+endemDan> he asks her the same exact thing (it has been about 10 minutes since the call started) and then, then she finally gets it and understands that taking a picture in a mirror is how the people do it
<+endemDan> i dont understand how people like that function in life
<@Gusterbuster> Yea. However you get to sit on your ass all day and answer a phoneComment: endemDan works at verizon
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#301134 (346/518) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Gargamale> word
<mademoiselle> excel
<+fiveiron> powerpoint
<+fiveiron> By your powers combined, I'm an overpriced office suite! |
#301132 (443/593) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Meudi: Dude, I think I fell asleep
CSpatriot: Why do you think that?
Meudi: Because I woke up |
#301123 (109/333) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Kandarin> Ahoy.
<EugeneK> Dongs
<Kandarin> Good to see things haven't changed. |
#301075 (281/423) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Jammy_Stuff> it isn't just an excuse to go drinking
<Jammy_Stuff> it's a social gathering society
<Mabbo> ... so you're like alcoholics anonymous, except that you dont admit you have a problem?
<BunnyII> exactly
<BunnyII> because we don't |
#300711 (287/463) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Xagor> I just bought some ice cream and booze. Trying both the masculine AND feminine ways of getting over an aborted relationship :( |
#300635 (590/766) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Sebas> So my parents have an account on my little brother's laptop so they can use it during the week, when he's not at home. Said account is severely restricted using Parental Control.
<Sebas> Giving an ironic new meaning to the term "Parental control." |
#300623 (240/512) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< Dark-Fx> 2 printers 1 CUPS?
< myself> aaaaagh
* myself stabs Dark-Fx |
#300594 (384/576) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Shayne: She said she's gonna call me soon. And i think she's going to tell me she loves me. But she thinks i'm clueless. How should i react?
Jesse: your asking a guy who has been single for 4 years for relationship advice?
Shayne: Oh right
Shayne: Umm
Jesse: just be all shocked and like suprised i guess
Shayne: Ok hold on
Shayne: Lets say i was a really good irc user. And an admin told me he had a suprise for me and i knew he was gonna give me ops. How should i react?
Shayne: Seriously... Answer the fuckin question lol
Jesse: you did not just ...oh...my...god |
#300877 (41/403) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
> telnet mx.wp.pl smtp
Trying 212.77.101.4...
Connected to mx.wp.pl.
Escape character is '^]'.
220 mx.wp.pl ESMTP
ehlo mx.wp.pl
250-mx.wp.pl
250-PIPELINING
250-STARTTLS
250-SIZE
250-X-RCPTLIMIT 100
250-XMAS
250 8BITMIME
xmas
250- .
250- :.
250- :::..
250- _=:=;.
250- ..:=====.
250- ..=_==|<%%|=;.
250- . .::=i+<|ii|>:.
250- .-:==>||||%|I|>=:.
250- .;inSeil={oov|:
250- .:+i%<a%vc=|i=|=:..
250- --::{vd1nXe{eli|=.
250- . . =|iv+s;<oai||>:.
250- .--====cI(<vZZSIl|{>=;.. .
250- .__|+iuXwav>n1|wsav>l=- -
250- ..=+<vZ{mZ%vvqu>|{I=_;..
250- :=is>I*1vd8ll|>1|+=; .
250- .:ivnmZ1ei>Y>ioXsoI+~:.. .
250- .._<nco1isvua<>=+<}{i===|~-- .
250- .--^"!~)XiI3##mmmXS%1iiv|=; .
250- _=<vvc21+YYliwqm2vs> .
250- .._|%nXIlvuo>_;>iIY(>i=|i==:.
250- .;:=<onmnY2Z###mmuqo2*|=vXc=::.__.
250- . _=I1<s=|vv>i||||<saavsi|=i+-.
250- . =||ivoZme*voIv%1X###X21l|_;
250- =|=|iIYY1vnXXmumowqon3YS>_>=:. .
250- -+ilu1=c|ivvXXUVVY!+<==as%>|i||;- .
250- .==--=+*<I}{oIivi=aaommmXI>- .
250- =|||vswzvi%scawav%*$#UUCY1Sl;..
250- :__i%II||lvXX#W#mmesswmav|vnvv|;_..
250- .<l%{XXso%{c{1l*1cvmWWWmXommniI=;;__
250- __;=_,_:;_3XXmQqwwZYsaaII?Yov1|>]oi>=:
250- .:==liICana%vin2nXY1}<ommWmXouWhi=isv;.....
250- ={vvnv2XXZUX}*++!XsdY$#11SY*+=:||+|{>+--+|.
250- .-invv1*3llvu=%==={nom#oo|||vuaXovIi=;|+:-
250- --=no=|ilncvSnuwi<lvi||Innd#Xe"+-----
250- -"^--.-++- -<n>um!""+||~~3^
250- ~:3#
250- ~
250 ok
quit
221 mx.wp.pl
Connection closed by foreign host.Comment: merry xmas from smtp
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#301020 (589/903) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<jonukas> hello, hope someone can help me. How with c#, i can make 3.576 to 3.58 ?
<ttvd> if(value == 3.576) value = 3.58;
<ttvd> np! |
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