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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..54555657585960..596Next> |
#301358 (253/427) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
*** Dice has joined #RDIOOC
<Quia`> roll 2*d6
<Dice> Quia` rolled 2*d6, it returns --> ( 2*d6 = 1 6 ) (7)
<+Komaru> Oh
<+Komaru> Awesome
<+Komaru> roll 99*d999
<Dice> Komaru rolled 99*d999, it returns --> ( 99*d999 = 232 86 149 570 818 481 574 502 713 588 796 766 723 334 221 725 142 579 680 913 195 971 810 859 532 866 624 394 345 392 415 351 402 802 112 404 311 672 899 653 892 862 871 883 958 96 190 921 625 860 646 426 365 333 497 331 613 712 907 604 691 888 382 421 861 629 238 405 873 284 917 3 621 741 708 598 536 345 613 154 591 25 650 306 839 942 799 720 138 123 464 758 31 96 108 935 997 268 315 ) (54206)
<Quia`> WHY IS THAT THE FIRST THING ANYONE DOES WITH IT? |
#301342 (289/383) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<DrSunglass> So, my family just upgraded to HDTV satellite TV.
<DrSunglass> The thing I notice most is that the fine print in commercials is now clearly legible. |
#301376 (505/649) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<slashproc> Oh, I was thinking AOL 9.1
<slashproc> ever run into anyone actually using it?
<argosy> Yes. Then I backed up and ran over them again.Comment: #css on Efnet
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#301369 (322/628) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<shinaku> My prediction is that in another ten years we will look back on this decade with 2020 hindsight. |
#301368 (433/577) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< samble> gah
< samble> documenting code is hard
< samble> i keep ending sentences with semicolons
< jbroome> #i don't really have that problem |
#301362 (198/424) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<abrn> lol I just opened this letter and its a subpoena for treason |
#301350 (325/479) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Tenoch_> eek an underscore
-!- Tenoch_ is now known as Tenoch
-!- subrime is now known as _
<_> Im free!Comment: #loveclub@irc.freenode.net
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#301332 (752/942) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
SoccerGirl114: Today, I was having sex with this guy at a party when out of no where he yells at the top of his lungs, "mortal kombat!".
SoccerGirl114: His friends yelled back, "finish her!" |
#301012 (361/505) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<gloomp> isaacx, I have a challenge for you!
<isaacx> what?
<gloomp> Try going ten lines without using a question mark!
<isaacx> my lines?
<isaacx> or in total? |
#300997 (228/490) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Cylene> Why're they called boobies?
<Cylene> they should be called yaybies! |
#300788 (151/349) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* Now talking in #coding
<ih8censorship> so want to hear about how I got a date?
<ih8censorship> with a girl?
<Dr_BadSpoon> express it in C++
<ih8censorship> hm
<ih8censorship> class girl{
<ih8censorship> public:
<ih8censorship> void Computerbroken(){Goondatewithgeek();}
<ih8censorship> };
<ih8censorship> girl Erika;
<ih8censorship> Erika.Computerbroken();
<ih8censorship> Ih8censorship.mood("^_^"); |
#300741 (250/400) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<adimarco> it amuses me that, even when eating treats, cats just instinctively know to rapidly shake their head back and forth a few times to make sure the spine is broken.
<zinger> i do the same with donuts |
#299847 (175/321) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<nathan> What's so offensive about meatspin
<tonyb> Its one of two things
<tonyb> Either the ugly font
<tonyb> Or the spinning penis |
#299826 (120/290) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Hypnotek: Have you ever noticed the similarities between the daft punk Pyramid and the image on the back of the dollar bill?
John: They're pyramids. And both open up. That's about it.
John: Unless the dollar bill also has lasers, an attached HD LCD screen, neon lights, and a DJ booth inside as well.
Hypnotek: It should.
Hypnotek: Would make paying for things much more fun. |
#301278 (992/1088) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<DaynaGirl> I had an app once... it adjusted your volume to full in all regards... then screamed out into the darkness "Hey!!! Look at me!!! I'm watching PORN over here!!!"
<DaynaGirl> then it kindly returned everything back to normal settings.
<reiser> hahaha DaynaGirl
<zarko> DaynaGirl: i believe i saw such a web site
<zarko> it opened dozens of windows, filled with gay porn, and played that msg repetitively
<zarko> well, it said "GAY porn"
<DaynaGirl> I thought it was so funny... I renamed it "DaynaNude.Exe" and kept a copy on the desktop.
<DaynaGirl> one night at about 2am... I'm awoken to the app playing...
<DaynaGirl> I rush out to my puter to find my mother turning forty shades of purple... |
#301051 (234/412) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Corey> Why is everyone in It's a Wonderful Life so stupid?
<Corey> Main character: Oh, I lost some money, got angry at my family and got hit by a guy. I DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE.
<Corey> Clarence: I can show you how life was if you never existed.
<Corey> Main character: Why does nobody recognize me?!
<Corey> Clarence: Because in this reality, you don't exist.
<Corey> Main character: My wife and mother don't know me!
<Corey> Clarence: You.... don't exist.
<Corey> Main character: Why's the town have a different name?!
<Corey> Clarence: YOU. DON'T. EXIST.
<Corey> Main character: Where did my kids go?!
<Corey> Clarence: Fuck it, jump off the bridge, I don't care. |
#301022 (1090/1244) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Fraxtil> ugh
<Fraxtil> a bunch of mormons came to my door
<taiyal> lol
<Fraxtil> and I decided to listen to them
<taiyal> you didn't convert did you
<Fraxtil> fucking 15 minutes later they're done and I have a Book of Mormon and some pamphlets
<Fraxtil> haha no
<taiyal> I have a Book of Mormon
<taiyal> got it for free off the internet
<NitroX72> they can actually drag on that long?
<Fraxtil> yes, nitro
<taiyal> i've read most of the first book
<taiyal> you know what's even better
<taiyal> on the page of the Mormon website where you can request a free book
<taiyal> you can check a box saying that you would like to have a representative come to your door and explain to you
<taiyal> so you can essentially beam mormons at people |
#300571 (203/345) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<thetooth> you know what makes me angry?
(haro) thetooth, cavities? |
#301260 (1911/2123) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Pryoidain> Speaking of Legend of Zelda, I have a good story from last semester.
<Gimpy> Oh?
<Pryoidain> So I bought one of those Ocarina's from thinkgeek this passing summer. It comes with playing instructions and a bunch of other stuff.
<Pryoidain> Including instructions on how to play songs from zelda.
<Pryoidain> well, I woke up one morning and realized I had a midterm exam in a class I hadn't been to in like three weeks. I figure "I'm gonna fail anyways, so I might as well get a good laugh out of it."
<Pryoidain> So I go in, and the prof picks up the exams and asks if there are any last minute questions before the midterm.
<Pryoidain> and I stand up in class and go "MIDTERM?! NO, THIS CANNOT BE!" and pulled out the ocarina and played the song of time on it.
<Pryoidain> The prof actually had to set the papers down he was laughing so hard. he then gave me a 72 hour extension before I had to take it again.
<Pryoidain> Someone else in class asked for an extension, and the prof proceded to chew them out for asking for more time.
<Gimpy> Oh god, the only thing that could make that any better is if someone yelled "DAWN OF DAY ONE. 72 HOURS REMAIN"
<Pryoidain> Well someone did ask if that was real time or game time. Luckily for me, he said real time... |
#301230 (391/593) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<coil> i dont like what bleeds
<ShadowHntr> did i just wreck your haiku?
<[1NF0]> you got the center |
#301226 (344/532) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<crschmidt> twitter is terrible
<crschmidt> but i use it as well
<crschmidt> i, in fact, twitterd from the altar, when I got married
<crschmidt> and 6 phones in the audience went off |
#301224 (1362/1506) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Arang> I hate when I have to turn off a computer by holding the power button
<Arang> it just feels way too visceral
<Arang> like I'm holding a pillow over its head
<Arang> "ARANG WHYYYGHGHGHBLGBHGBL"
<Arang> "mfff mfffffff"
<Fax> *windows sound* |
#301221 (473/613) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<ccr> the thing about JVM is that it will almost never free memory it has once allocated from host. it has, at least historically, been a mistake to run anything else than one Java-based service per server instance.
<Chainsaw> Indeed. The memory allocation strategy of Java can be described in 3 words.
<Chainsaw> Nom nom nom. |
#300676 (166/286) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<ardchoille> Think I found a bug in the space time continuum.
<ardchoille> I put movies in the mailbox at 14:00 yesterday and Netflix has already received the movies.. it's 09:29 today.
<ardchoille> And the mail schedule for that mailbox says mail is picked up at 10:30 daily, except Sunday
<felipe> that's not bad. you could exploit that and return them before you rent them and not have to pay for any of it |
#300665 (380/614) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Curtain> Oh man, Tiger Woods got in a car accident, apparently.
<Rimiru> That's not good D:
<Rimiru> oh oh wait wait
<Rimiru> Curtain, after hearing that, you might deduce...
* Rimiru shades
<Rimiru> That he wasn't a very good driver.
<Rimiru> YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHH
<Kevin> rofl
<Curtain> I'm not talking to you anymore. |
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