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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..53545556575859..596Next> |
#294828 (262/388) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<PurityOfEssence> I was at the gym, and I was looking at the distance left: 1km, 500m, 250m, 125m ..
<PurityOfEssence> this is how all mathmo's nightmares go
<PurityOfEssence> a fear of infinite sums diverging
<PurityOfEssence> you'll never get there, just keep getting half way closer
<PurityOfEssence> damn zeno |
#300732 (33/351) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+Jason_Voorhees> was chatting with a chick on dalnet..wouldnt send me a pic
<+Jason_Voorhees> so i asked her what she likes to do for fun
<+Jason_Voorhees> and she replied eat ice creamComment: #iwwf on irc.i-wwf.net
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#297721 (249/427) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Artifice> Whoever reminded me of bash.org: Fuck you, I just wasted 2 hours, and I'm not done yet |
#296105 (207/331) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Forggy: my kitten is almost cat sized now
CorbinFox: uh oh, better put it in the freezer then. the cold makes things contract
CorbinFox: that way you can keep it as a kitten forever!
Forggy: you can't play with my kitten anymore ok?
CorbinFox: aw :( |
#295055 (278/408) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< aLExVP> my pal just had the most freaky experience of the week
< aLExVP> we're running a small VPN network around here, normally it is a relatively quiet project
< aLExVP> about an hour or so ago he got a call from someone else on the vpn
< aLExVP> he was asking around because he and other people were being port-scanned over the net, and he was wondering if anyone else knew something about it
< aLExVP> because we normally don't port scan each other over the vpn
< aLExVP> now he was just having a little private lan party with some friends
< aLExVP> (yes he invited me too but i have a test next week and a shitload of work ahead)
< aLExVP> anyway
< aLExVP> looking around a bit they traced it to his vpn connection
< aLExVP> and after looking around a bit more they found out the scans were coming from one of the windows systems at the party
< aLExVP> the system was a mess. no anti-virus on a budget gamer pc
< aLExVP> he has a router providing VPN access to his home net
< aLExVP> they traced the source of the attack on the windows box to an IRC bot net, and from there back again to his own connection
< aLExVP> further on to his wireless router
< aLExVP> and, interrestingly, to the car in front of his house |
#270335 (330/444) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@[midas]> I remember calling the Nintendo Tip Line once for Castlevania II though
<@[midas]> Some spot where I had to crouch to make some stairs appear got me stuck
<@[midas]> I still remember their old phone number
<@[midas]> 206-885-7529
<@[midas]> I don't know my sister's birthday, but I remember the Nintendo Game Assistance Hotline |
#220553 (67/233) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Grim: I'm gonna go shower though
Grim: I'll be back later
Dexi: wtf? since when do you shower!?
Grim: shut up! it's the 30th
Grim: that's always when I do it |
#301509 (545/661) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<t0mato> anyone here knows how fast will my computer run after a registry cleaning?
<x5ga> We have a formula to calculate the percentage of speed gained
<x5ga> (E*c/100)*a
<x5ga> E is the number of errors cleaned
<x5ga> c is the number of cores your CPU has
<x5ga> a is 0 |
#301439 (173/315) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<hgl> !decide sims
<vurl> Yes
<hgl> ehehe
<Sebas> It's ironic that you get someone else to make the decision for you to play a game that mainly consists of you taking someone else's decisions. |
#301418 (221/397) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<VoxPVoxD> I see a half dollar coin every once in a while
<VoxPVoxD> I think it's jfk on them
<VoxPVoxD> which is a wasted opportunity
<VoxPVoxD> we had a great reason to finally have one of those cool coins with a hole in it |
#301251 (126/332) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<timmo> anytime i yell at a woman and im really angry i think CUNT
<timmo> i only say it half the time though
<timmo> its like the a bomb of yelling at a woman
<snow_> i've had worse experiences calling a girl fat than a cunt
<timmo> how about you fat cunt
<snow_> haven't tried that one
<timmo> you know, cover your bases
<Alphamaze> In my experience, calling a girl a cunt will get her angry, while calling her fat will make her sad.
<Alphamaze> Calling her a fat cunt will result in a woman that is confused about her emotions.Comment: EFnet #geekissues
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#300712 (259/453) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<DragonFogel> Fun fact: Right now, there is more public support in the US for legalizing marijuana than there is for the Republican Party. |
#300636 (452/604) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@mikesch> Google Wave was built to show younger people how older people feel when they try to use the internet. |
#300628 (321/429) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<ttvd> my gf said if we build more solar panels the sun energy will be consumed faster o.O
<FOXX> Dump her.
<ttvd> no she's pretty smart actually.
<ttvd> although i remember she asked me how deaf read... hmm
<FOXX> Cognitive dissonance there, ttvd? |
#300509 (143/287) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@JeremySm> firecrackers?
<Hark> cracker | peanut butter | weed | peanut butter | cracker
<Hark> tinfoil, bake in the oven
<Hark> fats in the peanut butter absorb the thc
<@JeremySm> lol
<@JeremySm> this is why Canada is not a world power |
#300287 (677/817) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Toba> Note to self: check new boxers before wearing. I just found a 'quality control passed' sticker on my wang. |
#300286 (221/359) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+finn> is there something in between "I like you" and "I love you"?
<@Rjx> sex |
#299627 (48/208) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<altoid> i remember once talking to someone at the helpdesk at ucsd
<altoid> i mentioned i was having trouble getting GNOME to work on Gentoo (never did solve the problem)
<altoid> (used KDE the entire time instead, out of laziness)
<altoid> and he was like "oh, did you lose your windows CDs or something? |
#297599 (401/521) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<R0b0t1> "Honestly I think all those people who say Bin Laden has weapons of mass destruction are stupid. Destroying mass is against the laws of thermodynamics!"
<leymoo> ...
<leymoo> you sir, win the award of the "biggest groan I'll do today" competition |
#295912 (306/376) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Voldemort> My father bought my mother and I GSM cell phones to use while we're here.
<Voldemort> We had to get both repaired. One had a bad ribbon cable, and the screen as a result didn't work.
<Voldemort> The other is only a dual band and doesn't support the frequencies here in the Philippines. Woulda been cheaper to just buy new ones here.
<Voldemort> Anyways, the one with the bad ribbon cable works now, and I was going through it. Apparently, the person on ebay who sold it never cleared the phone. Has pics in it, one of which is a pussy with a tattoo around it making the slit look like the body of a butterfly.
<Voldemort> I didn't think anything of it until I went through the games. There's something in there called "Purring Kitten". It makes the phone vibrate continuously. Needless to say, I'm gonna sterilize that phone now... |
#281442 (327/455) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Pentavite> you know those cliffs and ledges and etc. that have suicide hotline phones nearby?
<Pentavite> I think the govt should designate them as suicide points, for efficiency
<Pentavite> so people know a good way to kill themselves
<Pentavite> just send someone every now and then to pick up the bodies
<GenericLoser> You'd have to post road signs, too.
<GenericLoser> "Suicide Point -- Dead Ahead." |
#252356 (78/224) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
xexyz: I don't think there are NATO specs for Nerf ammunition |
#301451 (262/422) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<git> i got a 'honk if you love jesus' bumper sticker on my car
<git> every time someone honks i flip them the bird |
#301436 (264/374) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<IndianaJones> name one thing that would not be improved by an infusion of Patrick Stewart voice
<IndianaJones> you can't, can you
<Lofn> I was going to say sex
<Lofn> but that would be a lie
<IndianaJones> MAKE IT SO
<IndianaJones> ENGAGEComment: #nerd on sorcery.net
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#301414 (271/359) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@GaidinBDJ> Wanna feel old? Just think, if they remade Back to the Future now, they would be travelling back to 1980. |
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