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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..57585960616263..596Next> |
#300724 (1947/2389) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Shey>Hey John,some confused lady called the helpdesk that they've closed the nursery two hours ago or so,and if you are gonna pick up your daughter...
<John>Holy shit!
-!- John has quit
-!- Michael has quit
-!- Nobody has quit
-!- MoneyMaschine has quit
-!- Server has quit
-!- fightbot has quit
-!- Nobody has joined #techsupper
<Nobody>Shey,send us some network guys, John tripped over the switch cable and pulled the socket from the wall. |
#300704 (1857/2041) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ebert4> i dun thnk th assinments in 4 2moro
<kajx> lol kk
<kajx> i ws lik shiting myslef
<Scrawl> The English language is dead at your feet, blood leaking from the chainsaw wounds in its chest as you ejaculate over its mangled corpse.
<ebert4> wtf dud |
#300773 (169/347) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Nome> but edward doesn't even look like a vampire
<@Nome> he just looks like a palefaced turd
<@Nome> his acting is incredibly stiff
<@Nome> i don't understand at all how any girls could like him as an actor
<@Nome> all he did in the first movie was kinda mope around and act emo
<@Warchamp7> You just answered your question |
#294508 (15/367) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Hoopy: hey, how was your holidays? Get anything good?
Psmylie: Couple of gift cards. you?
Hoopy: watch
Psmylie: ok, I'm watching...
*10 minutes pass*
Psmylie: I see you gave that lame joke all the attention it deserved. Well done.
Hoopy: My client crashed. What did you say? |
#256742 (152/322) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Ian: Do you ever watch the TV news and think, "I saw that on Reddit...that shit is old news?"
Chris: they got news on tv?
Ian: lol
Chris: they like just read digg articles on the air or something? |
#144769 (241/375) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<hobblin> i had sex with a girl when i was drunk once
<hobblin> but we both remembered it
<hobblin> and we see eachother all the time
<hobblin> lets just say that she gives everyone else hugs and me high fives |
#142213 (214/360) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Orkie> it was pointed out to me earlier that i don't actually swallow a lot of the time when drinking anything :S
<Orkie> i'd never really noticed it before but even when i just have water i just tip the thing straight down my throat!
<Duo> Orkie: you'll make some man very happy one day. |
#138416 (284/464) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Lena> My mama taught me how to dance
<Lena> said if you can shake your ass right, guys will know what you're like in bed
<Lena> my mom is such a whore
<Lena> especially when she said all casually "Mija...have you ever had sex on a piano?" her voice is really thick with a spanish accent and I'm like "MAMA NO!" she goes "Good, dont, cause it's noisy"
<Lena> I just looked at her in disbelief
<Lena> and THEN!
<Lena> one time she says "Mija, I dont want you sleeping with every tom dick and harry, maybe every tom and dick but not ever harry" |
#300220 (558/740) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<BubbaTheLoveSponge> more facial hair talk: tom
<SpaceGeostrategy> Tom's facial hair is basically the reverse Hitler
<@strifeheart> my head nearly exploded when I saw his beard for the first time
<SpaceGeostrategy> he has facial hair everywhere Hitler didn't
<BubbaTheLoveSponge> whats he doing these days
<SpaceGeostrategy> perhaps he is creating 6 million Jews |
#300947 (389/541) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<meanolthing> hmm
<meanolthing> is pornography in or out?
<aizakku> in
<aizakku> then out
<aizakku> then in
<aizakku> then out again |
#300937 (368/528) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Magello> It is my assumption that every few minutes a virtual sentience forms on the Internet, is pelted with spam mail and chooses to commit suicide. |
#300697 (1011/1179) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Green> So I got in my car
<Green> and there was birdshit on my windsheild
<Green> so i got a paper towel and got out to wipe it off
<Green> but it wouldn't come off
<Green> and thats when I realized it was on the INSIDE
<Green> I had a hard time getting to sleep that night |
#300815 (380/514) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Mango: So I was trying to troubleshoot this DNS server.
Mango: And I wanted to make sure it gave expected behaviour when you requested a lookup for a non-existant name.
Mango: Turns out
Mango: there actually IS an asdflkjasdf.com! |
#300809 (-1/495) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Rjx> i'm a mac
<Rjx> and i'm a pc
<Rjx> and we're both irritating faggots |
#300808 (174/426) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Aprentice> girls who fuck animals should be put in a mental institute
<Rjx> or on TV |
#300807 (332/478) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<mr_daemon> I also set a reminder to clear the floors on the days the roomba is scheduled to run
<mr_daemon> Because Roombas are a bit like puppies
<mr_daemon> Somtimes you come home to find a bunch of shredded papers and kleenex all over the floor, electronics tossed around and wires everywhere with the roomba in the middle, its red light pulsing |
#300803 (25/575) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
dargus.kelen: was staring at the sole free outlet on the nightstand, wondering how the hell I was going to plug my laptop and iphone in at the same time
dargus.kelen: then I thought "if the clock has a USB connection, I could use that"
dargus.kelen: then 2 and 2 suddenly equaled 4 |
#300799 (376/608) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
lola: I inherited my eyes from mom
diamant: and tits from daddy?
lola: fuck u
diamant: but indeed?
lola: YOU CRAZY OR WHAT?? MY DAD DOESN'T HAVE TITS AT ALL!!
diamant: that's what i'm talking about :)
lola has quit IRC. (Quit) |
#300794 (2732/3008) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Nub> Can someone explain to me how cells divide?
<K4rli> o
<K4rli> 0
<K4rli> 8
<K4rli> oo |
#300792 (1029/1161) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<SterlingSilver> We got our report cards back last week. I'm not so great in school, so I did a D in one class. But I was totally okay with this when I realized that with the S (satisfactory) in chorus and the S in study hall, the first 6 grades on my report card spell "BADASS." |
#300781 (263/375) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
s42: I was ranting with my friend about how nonsensical it is for so many people to play Farmville on Facebook... how growing imaginary crops is a waste of time when there's no real goal.
s42: When I realized I play MMORPGS...
s42: I probably do more farming on the internet than fucking farmers do in real life. |
#300909 (74/178) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Actual Chris: facebook is telling me to write on your wall too
Chaos: wow
Chaos: fuck you facebook
Chaos: everyone knows I'm pathetic just leave it be
Actual Chris: haha
Chaos: "hey, make sure this guy doesn't kill himself okay" |
#300899 (0/406) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* worried is now known as nervous |
#300896 (124/272) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Steg> if you want to be reasonable, kindly do it elsewhere |
#300893 (429/571) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Orion: The internet is mostly cat pictures these days. I remember the good old days when the internet was conspiracy theorists, porn, and DOOM WAD files. |
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