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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..213214215216217218219..596Next> |
#36290 (96/224) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<GD> Florida Law: You may not kiss your wife's breasts.
<Jhaelyrr> Florida sucks.Comment: #stratics
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#36288 (114/198) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<tammy> why do guys always try to act so macho all the time
<vercetti> because we're rugged!
<vercetti> now if you'll excuse me, I have to go sort my wash and wear from my delicates :D |
#36286 (96/258) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Coldy> "Sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak"Comment: leet quote
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#36275 (-4/184) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<scykon> do you know what would be funny? if stephen hawking was giving a speech, then his comp crashedComment: #dcemu irc.cheatlist.com
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#36256 (6/178) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<esmerelda> exactly what is it 28 days later than anyway?
<Antifreez> I don't know. I always figured it was about the menstrual cycle. |
#36240 (106/248) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
(Tonin): solving difficult problems at work often involves steps in rather obscure and unintended directions... for example while thinking on how to implement an intuitive and useful interface for moving images around I managed to discover that: 1. I could play Good King Wenceslas on a rubber band stretched between my fingers... 2. cutting off circulation in one's fingers while trying to play rubber band music has unpleasant results :P
(Timelord): ...
(Hamled): you're clearly very bad at your job ToninComment: On the perils of rubber band music.
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#36278 (46/172) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Bubbaprog> what do you call a resident of tampa
<nephaft> hmm....
<Bubbaprog> it's not Tampan
<BeadGrl> tampian?
<Bubbaprog> actually
<Bubbaprog> it's tampanian
<BeadGrl> hmm ok
<aeonite> People from Tampa are hot, moist and full of blood
<aeonite> So Tampon sounds correct |
#36277 (52/166) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<O-3> is IRC internet-based? |
#36276 (51/155) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<filmgoerjuan> for $11.99 I can send you a booklet outlining my technique for allowing your DVD player to legally copy discs using only a length of rubber tubing and your own urine |
#36265 (143/249) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<tobaki> haha, my mom was listening to the new lenny kravitz album and she was like "wow, lenny sure sounds angry"
<tobaki> then he started getting violent and my mom was like "oh my god!"
<tobaki> then she took the cd out of the player and saw that it was my brothers "distUrbed" album
<tobaki> the sad part is it took her 8 songs to realize something was wrong |
#36259 (130/262) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Jilly> i like bondage
<Jilly> do u?
<Jilly> pm me if u do
<Edestiny> this isnt jill
<Edestiny> she isnt signed on to msn
<Edestiny> evening mike
<Jilly> hi edd |
#36241 (131/253) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Rentasmo> it's not really that gross
<Rentasmo> would it be better if I said "baby bag" instead of uterus?
<icy_one> you will notice that while men would like to be inside a woman, they don't want to KNOW about the insides
<icy_one> theres a certain... mystery about it that way
<icy_one> you know, like sticking your hand in a hole in a tree
<icy_one> is there an EVIL BADGER inside? maybe
<icy_one> but if you told me there was an evil badger inside, i probably wouldn't put my hand in the hole |
#36219 (59/223) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@Xial> Command line interface terminal. :o
<@Xial> Women are COMPUTERS!!!!
* @Xial has scary realization
<+Nulike> :O
<@Xial> Seriously!
<@Xial> Why do you think we have so much control over them when we use the Command line interface terminal properly?
<+Nulike> Enlighten us!
<@Xial> Because it's powerful. A well interfaced CLIT is a happy CLIT, and a happy CLIT means we are treated well, in return. XD
<+Nulike> O_O
<@Xial> Makes sense? :3
<@Xial> Plus,
<+Nulike> Worst of all, it does.
<@Xial> some women tell us what to do when we're using it, sorta like pressing the help key
<@Xial> "Ooooh, slooooooowwwww..." for example
<@Xial> If you get a "Stop Teasing, and FUCK ME NOW!", you've likely done it right XD
<+Nulike> @.@;Comment: #voices / DarkMyst; Xial's apparently had too much sugar and caffeine.
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#36252 (98/212) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Scoth> Hmm. Good thing these order numbers aren't customer-facing. This customer got BYG1-N1GG4
<jeeves_> that's excellent
<Kurt> just wait until BYG4-N1GG4 comes along |
#36239 (87/201) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<ozwald> some guy my mom knows at work (ive never met him) bought me a 50$ book on java
<ozwald> from amazon
<+retry> wow
<ozwald> called thinking in java
<+retry> nothing says I wanna fuck your mother like a book on java
<ozwald> i know
<ozwald> oh well
<Rift> prolly saying, im scrogging your mom and will soon be your step dad, so here is a giftComment: #maddox on WhatNET
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#36225 (51/155) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
* NWC_Omega gets bored and wonders if he should attempt to make idle chit chat with the few girls on his buddy lists
<@STompy> do 'em !
<@STompy> ask for a blowjob
<+NWC_Omega> ....!!!!
<@STompy> :/
<+NWC_Omega> oi
<+NWC_Omega> after I said that, they all logged off, creepy :-S |
#36217 (179/303) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Bog> people should always look at what they fuck
<Bog> i mean type
<Bog> ..Comment: #hothardware on irc.burghcom.com
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#36221 (65/185) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<_Dim_> w0000t, just got an email with a picture taken by a mobilephone
<_Dim_> the fun part is, it's an image of the test im getting tomorrow :D |
#36213 (129/227) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
Einhander MK II: I really need a gif
Einhander MK II: gf*
Einhander MK II: see :( |
#36212 (-1/171) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<issuez> how in the fucking shit
<issuez> did i buy soy milk instead of 2 %
<issuez> THIS MAKES ME VERY ANGRYComment: #geekissues
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#36209 (67/157) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
[@lsd] i'll bath when IRC finishes
[@lsd] can't be much longer now |
#36208 (-7/209) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Enjoi> qdb.us != bash.org |
#36182 (56/172) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
(@|Lebanon|) Broadcast: ATTENTION: TheAvatar (Søren Jensen) turned 20 years old today! I (Barhom) just wanted to congrat in some special way, and I thought of all of you guys helping me, I just need you guys todo this: /msg TheAvatar HAPPYBDAY!!!
(@Biggs`) what the bejesusing fuck
(@Biggs`) stfu
(@Biggs`) noob
... a minute or two later ...
(@|Lebanon|) Broadcast: Since you guys did a great job and accidently crashed TheAvatar's mirc he couldn't reply to you all and say Thank you! (He really wanted too) - Anyways you can see a early printscreen that he took only couple of seconds after the last msg here http://www.bullettimes.com/bday1.jpg
(@Biggs`) *accidentally* crashed, wtf
(@Biggs`) that was about as deliberate as it gets |
#36180 (45/147) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<sahal> 6 million ways to die
<sahal> choose one
<mETh> i will
<sahal> i choose MSpaint |
#36168 (167/297) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Nyschashi-Seikun> Hypothetical question, you have hot sauce in your urethra. how do you get it out without taking a piss/chopping your penis off?
<Nyschashi-Seikun> i need an answer QUICK |
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