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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..214215216217218219220..596Next> |
#36160 (44/170) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<scorf> enormous penises have bigger holes, allowing for a greater number of demons to gain entrance, which is why black men commit so much crime
<rpop> demons enter through the penis!?
<scorf> it would appear so, from this thing I read on the internet which is true!
<rpop> not even 7 am and I've been enlightened already! |
#36142 (97/215) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<timmo> my friend and i were driving someplace one day
<timmo> and we were driving his womans car
<timmo> he got a nose bleed and i was looking through the glovebox
<timmo> for tissues
<timmo> the only thing i saw was a tampon
<timmo> he shoved it in his nose
<timmo> the thing they dont tell you is
<timmo> when a tampon soaks up blood
<timmo> it expands
<timmo> so after like 5mins
<timmo> hes trying to pull it out
<timmo> and its not coming out
<timmo> eventually he got it out
<timmo> and threw it on the sidewalk of the mall
<timmo> :x |
#36129 (-3/263) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<genitals> who gives the greatest head in the world
<genitals> nick berg
<rolloffle> lol. |
#36113 (95/215) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<uidzer0> i'm fucking outta here.. peace!
<-- uidzer0 has quit (Quit: BitchX: try our Windows 95/98 and Windows NT 4 flavors too!)
--> uidzer0 (~uidzer0@68.101.43.169) has joined #solaris
<uidzer0> i do not condone or endorse my last quit message.
<uidzer0> that's all. peace
<-- uidzer0 has quit (Client Quit) |
#36173 (107/195) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<kpt> any Java coders in the house? I have a question about recursion
<danamania> kpt: ask kpt when she gets back in |
#36159 (51/147) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@lude> I just saw about 50 NYPD B&W's scramble from just about every side street, and all head towards the west side hwy, wonder what is going on...
<@Rjx> what state do you live in? |
#36156 (23/147) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@ICY> ANY NEWS YOU FECKERS?
<@cepe> IM ANNOYED
<@cepe> ISP SI MUCH FAG
<@ICY> CLEARLEY
<@ICY> I HAVE SPENT ALL DAY ANSWERING EMAILS FROM PEOPLE WHO ONLY WRITE TECH SUPPORT QUESTIONS ABOUT PALMS LIKE THIS THE FUCKERS
<@cepe> 'NEAT'
<@ICY> I wish I could reply "Turn the fucking caps lock off you cock,you'r scum,the scum of the world,your giving me a headache and I dont really want to help you now"
<@ICY> cept I have to reply "Thank you for contacting PalmOne Technical Support..." etc
<@ICY> fs |
#36107 (87/187) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<oD`Marius> Anyone got a clue how to effectively thaw and heat rice thats already been cooked and has been frozen for a while? (msg me)
<oD`Marius> supplemental: no microwave available
<shad> boil water, put rice in water? :?
<oD`Marius> Problem solved \o/ thanks for the help o// \\o |
#36098 (227/319) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
-!- tjs [~tjs@deepde.lnk.telstra.net] has joined #divmod
< tjs> folks, I need some info
< exarkun> tjs: The capital of Maine is Augusta.
< tjs> awsome, thanks
-!- tjs [~tjs@deepde.lnk.telstra.net] has left #divmod ["Leaving"] |
#36088 (172/304) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
(@[myg0t]OldManPeterson) on a warez bot
(@[myg0t]OldManPeterson) they had full version of winrar
(@[myg0t]OldManPeterson) as winrar.rar
(&Axel) hahahahahaha
(@[myg0t]OldManPeterson) like wtf
(@mrWoot) lol
(@mrWoot) winrar.rar |
#36084 (0/194) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Paratus> In AZ, if two men or two women are cohabitating, and claim that they're in a relationship, they get benefits as if the other person was their spouse. HOWEVER, if a man and woman are cohabitating, and claim to be in a relationship, they don't get benefits.
<Paratus> Bit discriminating, that.
<Blingo`> maybe if the guy only bang the girl in the ass? |
#36050 (39/167) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<drew> hmmm I have a web page that will not render in firefox, but does work in quanta. It is a page to order a new phone service. Any suggestions on how to get it rendering/working?
<rik> ask the html validator
<rik> validator.w3.org
<maria> stab the designer in the hand until they write a non-broken page? :)
<rik> and how do they do that without a hand?
<maria> you only stab one hand |
#36043 (53/177) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
*** Anonymous is now known as Jayni
*** Jayni is now known as Jaymi
<Jaymi> i can't type right handed
<StoneCold> <shamlessbragging> i can type with both of my hands really fast </shamlessbragging>
<Jaymi> i can only type with my left hand
<Jaymi> i'm only half ambidextrous |
#36044 (77/195) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
[olleke] last night i was to drunk to walk
[olleke] so i drove home by car
[grindA] good job olleke
[olleke] not a smart plan
[olleke] parked it in the garage
[olleke] without opening the door
[reeseboisse] hah
[B-Boy Boogie Smalls] lol
[olleke] nasty sight when ya have a hangover
[olleke] so i puked again
[B-Boy Boogie Smalls] lol
[olleke] need a new car
[olleke] this one looks rediculous now |
#36035 (117/229) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Morris> I used to beat it for fun
<Morris> Just sit on my ass for 2.5 hours and waste it
<Morris> But as time moved on, I started speeding up.Comment: A videogame actually, not that he realized what he said
|
#36012 (133/267) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
--- CFC|Laptop has changed the topic to: idle, idle, idle, idle, idle, idle, idle, idle NETSPLIT NETSPLIT
* Elleo-lap has a sudden vision of idling badgers |
#36004 (74/184) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
* DannyCat|sleep tries to figure out what video codec his eyes run on.
<quen> danny - a few days ago after I took some painkillers I was getting moire effects on the carpet, so I recommend you don't use that one :) |
#35977 (78/182) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<pasi> do people there usually eat the college/uni or at home?
<FJ> i don't usually try to eat my college.
<FJ> its a huge building, i expect it'd damage my teeth, too |
#35966 (277/395) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Murray-Mint> I'm up for Fuedalism
<Murray-Mint> as long as I can be the Lord
<Flirbnic> No way. Me!
<Mort-Hog> In two lines, we've summed up the fundemental problem of feudalism. |
#35962 (235/343) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@ecks> what the fuck
<@ecks> okay, i was just outside... this bird flew down from a tree, flew like 20 feet, took a shit on my dad's thunderbird, and then flew anothe 20 feet back to the tree
<@ecks> it couldn't fucking take a shit in the tree?
<%r0bin> Would you like to shit on your sofa? |
#35959 (117/207) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
*** Join: Garf_LT
<Garf_LT> godddamit creative
<Garf_LT> IS IT SO HARD TO REMEMBER VOLUME SETTINGS
<Garf_LT> BLOWING A USERS EARS OUT COULD END UP IN AN EXPENSIVE LAWSUIT SOMEDAY
<Garf_LT> MORE EXPENSIVE THAN HIRING COMPETENT PROGRAMMERS |
#35954 (32/192) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
06:18 <Lanfear> yesterday, I was stroaking a cat that laid on a friend's lap..
and, well. I was scratching the cat's tummy and stuff, when I
suddenly became aware of that it was a bit too close to the guy's
crotch |
#35941 (5/219) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<pantherqs> y'know
<pantherqs> my chest-mounted expansion pack is starting to bother me, every few months out comes a bigger version
<pantherqs> time to lay off the fucking juice. |
#35940 (187/307) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<atoi> ouch...when zippers attack...
<atoi> zippers and balls have been natural enemies since the inception of storing the latter behind the former. |
#35870 (224/394) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<JoJo> man that was a great movie
<JoJo> everybody was kung-fu fighting
<NPellizzer> were they fast as lightning?
<JoJo> yeah, in fact it was a little bit frightning
<JoJo> cause they had expert timing |
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