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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..197198199200201202203..596Next> |
#39504 (33/101) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<THX> i love this one. i told my friend when he went to jury duty, no matter what the case was, tell them he couldnt serve cause the defendant committed the same crime against him.
<THX> he got assigned a rape case. |
#39515 (-2/202) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<SniperX> she uses my obsession with black ass to her advantageComment: #icop on DALnet
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#39512 (110/230) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Ariyn> though the last few days i've either dreamt of killing a number of people with a pitchfork, nearly losing my virginity (i always wake up just before it happens), or some other odd thing
<Dan|Else> I'd like to kill people with a pitchfork.
<Dan|Else> And I also find it very scary that I said that before saying that I'd like to lose my virginity. |
#39493 (-1/223) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Ozstryker18: how do u spell that flower
Ozstryker18: toolups |
#39488 (2/226) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
sissyduck420: thank god the iraqi girl was there today
sissyduck420: that douchebag alden changed my phone into arabic |
#39465 (-1/129) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(Ravenclaw) DUDE
(Ravenclaw) i just discovered a new trick for watching porn!!
(Ravenclaw) TURN YOUR RESOLUTION TO 640x480 !!!
(Ravenclaw) and all the pictures become infinitely larger |
#39405 (13/109) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Patrick> Where the fuck is Nick?
<Michael> <Nick|Away> I'm going to have long hard sex tonight
<Michael> That may explain where he is ;p
<Patrick> I hope you enjoyed screwing Amelia tonight, Nick, because when you come back without work to show I'm going to cockstab you in the heart and ejaculate steaming white hatred directly into your bloodstream. |
#39481 (48/178) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<fino> uh.. my mom bought me a vacuum cleaner today
<fino> i think that means "clean your flat, there are god damn dust bunnies everywhere"
<oLol> nah she prolly wants you to use it for masturbation purposes |
#39441 (153/307) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<RadMhetoric> Bittorrent is the best thing ever.
<RedParatroopa> Is that a Pokemon?Comment: studio64.yi.org, #tmk
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#39366 (88/222) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
draco_malfoy_slytherin_prince: Hey, what do I write about this theme: "Creativity: Our World's Natural Resource?"
draco_malfoy_slytherin_prince: It's for a nationwide essay contest, and I just ran out of ideas.Comment: It's obviously a finite resource. . .
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#39321 (-2/228) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@antfarm> (23:06:45) Jen: i'm a multitasker
<@antfarm> (23:06:50) Jen: heheheh
<@antfarm> (23:06:57) Jen: tit is in that wordComment: #geekissues
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#39315 (161/307) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* ryukitsu has joined #vee
<Riiko> Wild RYUKITSU appeared!
* ryukitsu prepares a tackle attack :o
* ryukitsu is gathering energy.
<Riiko> you don't have to gather energy for tackle
<ryukitsu> But I'm lazy >(
* ryukitsu prepares to walk across the room.
* ryukitsu is gathering energy. |
#39284 (192/358) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<mkat> o.o
<mkat> wtf
<mkat> I'm wireless
<mkat> XD
<mkat> I am teh wirelessseeee!
<mkat> as in
<mkat> NO WIRES
<mkat> XD
<mkat> Boy these orinoco cards kick some ass
<mkat> I'm all the way across the street
* mkat has quit IRC (Read error: Operation timed out) |
#39268 (90/216) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Rjx> I'm voting kerry this election
<Rjx> I can't vote directly
<Rjx> but I find easily influenced people over the internet
<Rjx> and convince them to vote on my behalf |
#39265 (-1/81) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<cjswimmer> wow, uninstalling SP2 for XP Pro fucked my system up real good
<Recidivis> installing it in the first place probably didn't help
<cjswimmer> well I was halfway through installation of it when I bluescreened
<cjswimmer> when I started up again it restored the system to a point before the install
<Recidivis> what a poetic xp fuckupComment: #geekissues
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#39251 (129/225) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Searcher> Man, all my MacGyver'ing is going to come back and kill me. I just know it. Next to my bed, I have a chair stuck in the corner of the room. On either side of the corner, I have a two-by-four wedged. On top of the two-by-fours, I have a dowel rod duct-taped. Hanging from the dowel rods, just kind of hooked over the top, I have a fan, oscillating. Sitting on top the inverted fan's base, I have a speaker. One day, that speaker is going to fall on my head. |
#39250 (113/261) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
*** {in_a_game]LawOfDisorder (~hey@237.153.33.65.cfl.rr.com) has joined #doom3fortress
<{in_a_game]LawOfDisorder> anyone know how to bypass the CD requirement ??
<{in_a_game]LawOfDisorder> my cdrom is screwin up
<{in_a_game]LawOfDisorder> that or the game is
<ninja> or you didnt buy it
*** {in_a_game]LawOfDisorder (~hey@237.153.33.65.cfl.rr.com) has left #doom3fortressComment: #doom3fortress on GameSurge
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#39245 (85/205) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+DarkSpirit> This sucks.
<+DarkSpirit> I got banned from Spanish class last week.
<+DarkSpirit> We were talking about the history of Spain, and how there is a large number of Asians living there.
<+DarkSpirit> And there's some jokes made about Japanese people pronouncing their "l's," like "r's."
<+DarkSpirit> There's some laughs.
<+DarkSpirit> And then we have to do these dialogues that we wrote ourselves.
<+DarkSpirit> Which are basiclly just conversations between a group of people
<+DarkSpirit> And we have to greet eachother and such.
<+DarkSpirit> And when it comes to be our turn, I tape my eyes back, so I look Japanese.
<+ricoblue> omg ds
<+ricoblue> lol
<+DarkSpirit> I turn my back to the class, and when my friend says "Hola."
<+DarkSpirit> I spin around, and as loud as I possibly can, yell "HORA! COMO ESTASU!"
<+DarkSpirit> And do the best jump kick I've ever done in my life.
<+DarkSpirit> And that's why I can't go back to Spanish class anymore. |
#39247 (40/186) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
· · Quit : Surreal [ ximaginary@66.187.166.5 ]
· · Joins : Surreal [ ximaginary@66.187.166.5 ]
[ Surreal ] omg -_-
[ Surreal ] My mom scared the cat and the cat tripped over my master switch for my computer |
#39244 (47/219) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Zak-> neuro, you can't be celibate if you're still in love with your hand
<neuro> We're not seeing each other
<Zak-> but i saw you two together last week!
<neuro> My hand is seeing the keyboard now
<Zak-> lolComment: #@Home on Austnet.org
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#39236 (209/347) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Dave: should i order anal grease with the cpu?
Dave: THERMAL
Dave: >< |
#39228 (144/300) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<JaneLame> i sent help@google.com an invitation to gmail, and at the "attached note" section i wrote - HOW DO I SEND AN INVITATION???!!!
<JaneLame> so they just sent me another invitation
<JaneLame> i think i'm gonna send one back
<issuez> haha
<issuez> IS THIS HOW?
<JaneLame> :DComment: #geekissues
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#39225 (-2/184) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Dragonx> accidentally put my head thru the wall haha, taking a shower to wash off the sheetrock
<laggerzero> pwn3d
<Dragonx> haha your so gay
<Dragonx> it was an accident
<Toba> sure
<Toba> I accidentally bash my head through walls ALL the time
<Dragonx> seriously
<Dragonx> lol
<Dragonx> at least i didnt hit a stud
<Dragonx> i tripped over a cat5 cable, cause we havent applied wireless yetComment: #theotherplace on irc.burghcom.com
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#39215 (99/227) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<sef> if i ever have kids i'm sending them to africa
<sef> because you can feed, clothe and send them to school for a dollar a day |
#39214 (458/572) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<The_GGA> But ninjas never lose a fight. They just don't.
<desplesda> what if you've got two teams of ninjas fighting each other? who wins then?
<The_GGA> The ninjas.
<desplesda> you make a good point |
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