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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..201202203204205206207..596Next> |
#38614 (15/183) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Punani> Of course IRC seems to be a veritable pond for some of the dumbest quotes on earth. |
#38603 (210/354) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Sohcahtoa> So my girlfriend and I were at the store to get some stuff and we see a friend of ours.
<Sohcahtoa> He calls out "Hey! Its Bianca and DJ! Or is it DJ and Bianca?"
<Sohcahtoa> And trying to be all witty, I say "It's DJ and Bianca!" I always come first!"
<Sohcahtoa> And my girlfriend says "Yes...you DO always come first..." |
#38557 (161/315) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<fractorial> !whatis rectum
<fok> Searching dictionary.com for rectum...
<fok> n. pl. rec tums or rec ta (-t ) The terminal portion of the large intestine, extending from the sigmoid colon to Amazon.com - Shop for books, music and more Merriam-Webster - Search for definitions |
#38545 (12/238) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
* Cobalt_Goddess has a 1337 H4X0|2 (47
<MissLursa> lol
<Cobalt_Goddess> my kitty sable was sitting on the desk right?
<Cobalt_Goddess> and got up to feed her
<Cobalt_Goddess> and she hit the keybord jumping down
<Cobalt_Goddess> and typed 347 |
#38535 (31/231) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<mata> so my friend is telling me this story... hes going at it with this chick.. . her beds on the floor on top of a box spring.. but still on the floor.. so hes banging this chick.. and all of the sudden her dog comes over and LICKS HIS ANUS..full on anal lick. went straight for it.. not a cheeck not a leg.. but his ANUS... but like a trooper he kept pumping away and just tried to push the dog away with his other hand |
#38519 (37/213) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Hawker91587> Yeh she was so drunk it was awesome.
<MontyGommo> Dont you have morals?
<Hawker91587> Ya see, i view morals as hurdles which u must jump over in order to win gold! |
#38517 (272/412) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
jason: blood sister?
BarbeDarkView: half
BarbeDarkView: we have different dads
BarbeDarkView: we all do
jason: how many of yous there?
BarbeDarkView: my two older sisters share a dad
BarbeDarkView: I have my own dad
BarbeDarkView: my lil bro has his own dad
BarbeDarkView: and my lil sis has her own dad
jason: what's wrong with your momComment: MSN chat
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#38512 (0/254) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Teh Zog: .
Teh Zog: ...
Teh Zog: .....
Teh Zog: bah, I suck |
#38490 (99/221) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@efnex[sz]> has anyone read the da vinci code
<@efnex[sz]> if so what is it about
<SirScoots> ef, i realize in your part of canada you get stuff late, but davinci code is sooo 2003
<@efnex[sz]> well
<@efnex[sz]> we just got the beatles here |
#38474 (151/283) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<seph429> i have to hide IRC from my mom
<seph429> but my weed and alcohol is sitting on my desk
<seph429> WTF? |
#38466 (75/217) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<SquareRoot> I know this is very OT, but I come here a bit so I thought I could try asking here... I found my sister's goldfish on the floor about a minute ago (although I have no idea how long it's been there... it was dry though) ... it appears that it jumped out of the bowl... upon reinserting it it proceeded to just float there... is there anything I can do? |
#38458 (240/402) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Ade: Yesterday
Ade: After I got off the computer
Ade: I had the weirdest experience.
Ade: I went out to take a walk with my lemonade.
Ade: And I didn't notice the sign next to my house
Ade: Which was that they were slurrying the street and it had to dry.
Ade: I went out bare-foot like I usually do.
Ade: And totally got stuck to the cement.
Ade: So I was out there
Ade: For like an hour
Ade: And some worker had to pull me out.
Hidatoshi: hahahaha
Ade: Totally sucked.
Hidatoshi: that's the greatest thing ive ever heard
Chexee: Me too. |
#38456 (3/227) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Random`Inferno> I god a bad unix joke for you
<Nikkou> Aren't they all?
<Random`Inferno> what do you call $cat|tail
<Random`Inferno> a redundancy!
<Nikkou> Half of me is glad I don't get it, the other half wishes I did get it
<Nikkou> I'm a halfling nerd!
<Rarzipace> A nerdling.Comment: #KeveX on slashnet
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#38413 (-1/217) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
version duB: my parents were like
version duB: "relationships with women are made with honey, not vinegar"
version duB: so I said "actually I make mine with hydrochloric acid"Comment: aim convo
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#38430 (100/214) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<junipre> PERSONAL NOTE, MENTHOLATED ITCH RELIEF CREAM IS NOT A GOOD IDEA FOR ITCHY BALLS.
<junipre> i am away: shower (Left at: 06:29PM) |
#38426 (151/293) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@ara> Occupation: psychologist
<@ara> Smoker: No
<@ara> Drinker: No
<@ara> sweet
<@ara> she can deal with me fine
<@ara> i dont drink i dont smoke
<@ara> and im insaneComment: #SBK, irc.enterthegame.com
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#38417 (99/237) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<GHL> who can not admit that arnie's accent when he was still not-a-good-speaker-of-english was UBERLEET
<ModdedCyborg> hes a good speaker of english now?
<Orchid> hes the governer of california he would need to be
<ModdedCyborg> not really
<ModdedCyborg> i mean... bush is the president :x |
#38415 (113/293) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<snottyboy> Mary's father has five daughters:
<snottyboy> 1. Nanna,
<snottyboy> 2. Nenne,
<snottyboy> 3. Ninni,
<snottyboy> 4. Nonno.
<snottyboy> 5. ??????
<snottyboy> What is the name of the fifth daughter?
<Dragon> Nunnu
<snottyboy> Nunnu? NO! Of course not. Her name was Mary
<snottyboy> read up
<snottyboy> :P~ |
#38412 (125/253) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< jordan_> A Spanish-language version of Windows XP, destined for
Latin American markets, asked users to select their gender
between "not specified," "male" or "bitch," because of an
unfortunate error in translation. |
#38410 (106/228) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
(duggar_) I just asked my supervisor if I could get off early in light of my hungarian background and that it is Hungry Foundation Day
(duggar_) wonder if it will work..
(duggar_) LMAO this was his response
(duggar_) Due to my background also being Hungarian I am leaving early and don.t have time to make that decision. But if you get with me sometime Monday I can make that lineage determination at that time and I.ll let you know then.Comment: #unix on irc.gamesurge.net
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#38409 (-5/325) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
21:48 <+nocturnal> avp rocked
21:48 <+anthill> i have aids
21:48 <+nocturnal> predator won btw
21:49 <@Rush68> I FUCKING HATE YOU
21:49 <@Rush68> I FUCKING HATE YOU
21:49 <+paden> hahahahh
21:49 <+nocturnal> roflComment: #tunaigloo @ irc.swehack.se
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#38399 (166/276) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@FoxMulder> oh my god
<@FoxMulder> I'm sitting at my desk
<@FoxMulder> and I'm hearing the one guy say to the other "OMG! Look at that one! She's niiiice!"
<@FoxMulder> And I'm thinking "Keen...swimsuit models...maybe scantily clad brunettes"
<@FoxMulder> Then he says "The blue wire...blah blah blah"
<@FoxMulder> He was talking about a fucking ROUTER!! |
#38397 (21/185) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<scriptx> i told some chic tonight
<scriptx> during beerpong
<scriptx> that if i were rich i'd buy an oc192
<scriptx> she's like.. a what?
<scriptx> i said.. the mad fast internet
<scriptx> and she was like.. oh.. nice
<scriptx> you're damn right bitch
<scriptx> she's getting packeted
<scriptx> as soon as i get itComment: #TriX on EFnet
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#38363 (130/262) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<rhapsody> who's good with perl?
<omnivector> rhapsody: that's like saying who's good with sodomy
<rhapsody> oh
<rhapsody> hey will
<rhapsody> help me with a perl problem
<doompie> gah fuck you. |
#38357 (140/256) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<trekkeriii> anyone here?
<typobox43> My availability is inversely related to the toughness of your question. |
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