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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..138139140141142143144..596Next> |
#55808 (420/592) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<SteelHard> how r u ?
* Gen|G^2 is now known as Gen|G^ZZZ
* Gen|G^ZZZ gives SteelHard an a,e,y and o before he goes
<SteelHard> what ?
<Gen|G^ZZZ> how can i put it nicely...
* Gen|G^ZZZ is now known as TheEnglishLanguage
<TheEnglishLanguage> OH GOD IM DYING |
#55800 (139/295) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Twin`> do you know how hard it would be to fake intelligence without google?
<swight> sorry, my browser crashed, I can\'t answer that |
#55777 (182/388) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Mike_H> I've been sitting outside smoking, and people will pass and do this pussy cough thing
<Dragonfly6-7> I cough through my mouth. |
#55762 (70/320) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Hayden> i met a huge redneck at school today
<Hayden> apparently a cow on his grandpas farm was giving birth
<Hayden> and the calf wouldnt come out
<Hayden> so the wrapped chains around its legs
<Hayden> and pulled it out by driving the truck
<Hayden> and broke the cows hips
<Hayden> and then shot it
<Hayden> and they named the calf jesus
<Hayden> how fucked up is thatComment: #machogang on otherside
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#55760 (175/331) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<CtrlAltDestroy> Last week, I was working at Steak 'n Shake
<CtrlAltDestroy> We had a water main break outside, so they shut off the water to our store
<CtrlAltDestroy> We had to shut down the dining room because of a health code
<CtrlAltDestroy> Anyway, during that time, we got a prank call.
<CtrlAltDestroy> This dude calls up and he's like "Hey guys! Is your fountain running?!"
<CtrlAltDestroy> Of course, I had to say "Not right now, we don't have water because of a main break."
<CtrlAltDestroy> Then he just goes "Oh..." *Click* |
#55755 (267/449) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<GenericLoser> I know someone who wears the Apple-white earbud headphones, but doesn't actually have an iPod, nor any MP3 player, or even a CD player. He just puts the other end in his pocket and everyone assumes he does. |
#55750 (90/280) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<xbf> argh addiction to manga is killing me
<Fibbles> thats darwin at work |
#55726 (207/385) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
(@Tenor) man
(@Tenor) I got owned
(@Tenor) hardcore
(@Tenor) fucking myspace
(@Tenor) this shit with a crush calculator
(@Tenor) enter the full name of yourself and your crush
(@Tenor) press submit
(@Tenor) it emails results to the person
(@Tenor) gay
(@Tenor) why the FUCK did I fall for that one |
#55688 (152/326) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@JustinS> if I wanted to learn more about using Perl for larger programming projects...
<@JustinS> where would I go?
<@Koston> to hell
<@corecode> to a mental hospital?Comment: #DragonFlyBSD @ efnet
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#55653 (156/326) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<PantsMacKenzie> I once played freeze tag, and a friend of mine ended up in the emergency room
<PantsMacKenzie> he never unfroze.
<neoliminal> and playing tag might tramatize them.
<SimCaputosis> I know at least three kids who when in preschool with me were hospitalized from tag
<PantsMacKenzie> and we forgot about him.
<PantsMacKenzie> so...
<PantsMacKenzie> yeah.
<PantsMacKenzie> he just stood there.
<PantsMacKenzie> and didn't eat for like... days
<rcmurphy> So you won?
<PantsMacKenzie> damn straight. |
#55649 (137/343) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<oohal> Slothearn, start a partition to get him arrested
<archaios> a "partition"?
<archaios> I think you mean petition
<Slothearn> Heh, ext2?
<Slothearn> I propose a reiserfs partition of about 30 GB to get Cheney the death penalty. |
#55647 (124/306) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
AlarmedBread: condoms are like computer parts
AlarmedBread: except, they have potential to be much more entertaining
Hellmark[RS]: Well, if thats true, I'd collect them out of the trash, and use them for years after they've been abandoned |
#55636 (152/348) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
(mistik): Well, it being valentines day and all, i've scheduled a date with my hand tonight. :p
(TheGreatDrunkMonkey): I have a date with Myra
(TheGreatDrunkMonkey): Myra Hand
(TheGreatDrunkMonkey): And her Asian friend, Lo Shen
(Deranged): Then her friend Tish Shu will clean up the mess afterwards. |
#55633 (4/248) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@DarkElf> hell of a way to spend valentines day, watching a girl having an orgasm while learning to ride a horse (no, its not farm erotica) and doing statistics
<@DarkElf> can you tell i need a girlfriend
<@momo_the_terrible> that's a neat trick
<@momo_the_terrible> simultaneously watching a girl have an orgasm and studying stats
<@momo_the_terrible> wish I had that talent back in school :)
<@DarkElf> multitasking is great nowadaysComment: irc.bunker7.net
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#55623 (143/321) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<PsychoBoy> 21f with a 20% chance of snow tonight
<PsychoBoy> 30% chance tomorrow, 60% tomorrow night
<PsychoBoy> so.... snow
<PsychoBoy> and cold
<Nickface> heh, I saw 21f and I thought "who the hell is he trying to fool?" |
#55560 (177/353) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<MTRH> Ooops.
<MTRH> CPU 1C, GPU 2C, HD 9C.
<MTRH> Forgot laptop outside. |
#55550 (141/303) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@dickhead> why use aim though
<@dickhead> its full of aids
<@dickhead> ads*
<@dickhead> either one
<@dickhead> it sucks |
#55507 (144/314) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<S> fnuh?
<S> a fly just flew into my monitor
<S> then instantly collapsed on my desk
<Markus> hehe
<Markus> maybe it has no depth perception and thought your background was real
<S> except you can't see my background for the masses of windows open
<S> besides that, it's just plain dark cyan
<Markus> could make a joke about flies flying into windows but that's too corny |
#55637 (1427/1577) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Immortal> Yesterday my dad was yelling at me and said, "You're going to respect your mother you son of a bitch."
<Immortal> Then he hit me for laughing. |
#55571 (171/337) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Mostlyharlmless> might be Leviticus, or it might be Deuterotemy... hell, maybe even late Genesis
<Nickface> After Phil Collins left? |
#55559 (241/419) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
MrMoog_772: mr pibb is just a lower-quality version of dr pepper
Glowsun: of course it is... dude doesn't have his degree yet |
#55511 (409/543) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<filminfo> the only time you can be excited about diarrhea is during scrabble
<filminfo> because it's worth a shitload of points |
#55467 (14/334) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Reapersou> Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad hes never cried though, because Chuck Norris is great.
<Workdug> Reapersou: welcome to 3 months ago
<Rjx``> srsly
<Rjx``> well, saying chuck norris facts are old
<Rjx``> got old
<Rjx``> that's how old the facts are
<Reapersou> Well, I am on 56k.Comment: #geekissues
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#55217 (150/384) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<imprfect> So my mum ended up calling me and asked me to come over her.
<imprfect> *Here! HERE! HERE DAMMIT! |
#55462 (573/769) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
DaRk^ Has joined #Ghetto
<DaRk^> Sup Niggaz.
<johnyy> sup foo
<BFMV> sup foo
<Kenz> Yo nig.
<tonydakid> sup foo
<johnyy> we are all white right ?
<tonydakid> yep
<BFMV> yep
<Kenz> yep
<DaRk^> yep
<johnyy> k |
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