|
TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..140141142143144145146..596Next> |
#55218 (281/459) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<illgl> ok people.. got something for yall.
<illgl> i've made a drawing of muhammed! bwahaha!!11
<illgl> >:)-<=< .. those are bombs around his waist. let's see now how long it takes before my embassy is burned, my mom raped and my dog eaten
* illgl (~mymail@<xx>.mine.nu) Quit (Ping timeout)
<@greml> wow, that was fastComment: abc@defghijklmno.com
|
#55209 (198/386) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Dr_Ian> you are a racist, Maketakunai
<Maketakunai> So what if I am?
<Maketakunai> You have something against racists?
<Dr_Ian> you have something against races?
<Maketakunai> Yes
<Maketakunai> they make my feet hurt |
#55184 (239/391) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Jame5> A cop was waving me into a random breath test thing at the side of the road, and as I got closer he saw I was driving a volvo and just waved me on. |
#55179 (166/358) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<davie> Man ms. turnhill is a hottie
<spiffy_> umm you mean your physics teacher?
<davie> Yeah man she loves me
<davie> Like today, I bumped into her
<davie> I said "hi"
<davie> She said "hello, how are you doing?"
<davie> I said "Im alright"
<davie> She said "that's good"
<davie> BAM I'm in! |
#55173 (69/249) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<rain_man> keemo - I saw something on ZA that said it's phoning home to Mossad.
<Keemo> no, thats ZionAlarm |
#55166 (238/358) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Hardrive> heh
<Hardrive> customer says to fix their computer so it never breaks again
<Hardrive> i told em you got two things against ya
<Hardrive> one
<Hardrive> its a computer
<Hardrive> two
<Hardrive> you're an idiot
<Hardrive> i kinda lost that job |
#55161 (158/308) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<incog> i wrote an encyclopedia on paraphilias and fetishes back in 2000, but i lost it in a hd crash
<incog> climacophilia is the best
<incog> arousal by falling down stairs
<incog> like how do you notice you have that fetish?
<rolloffle> and how do you have sex while indulging it?Comment: irc.buttes.org #cockes
|
#55159 (124/284) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<misato> kat how would we breathe
<kat> or something...
<kat> through our mouths?
<misato> but our noses filter out crap whereour mouths cant
<kat> hmm...
<kat> i suppose we could evolve moouth filters
<kat> oooh, or fancy tongues!
<misato> lmao
<misato> but kat
<misato> what about oral sex
<odj_310388> what would be the purpose of fancy tongues?
<odj_310388> wait
<odj_310388> i retract that statement |
#55152 (188/438) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<lm> hehe, my sis hates me now
<lm> I'm always joking about how fat she is
<losre> uh, she's hot actually
<lm> yah, but it's still funny to joke about it
<losre> sure
<lm> I was making jokes again and she started throwing pencils at me
<lm> then I said "you're a very naughty girl! roll to your room and think about what you did" |
#55144 (195/359) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<bigwoodthing> ugh what a morning
<bigwoodthing> a co-worker was all excited cuz her mom, dad, and daughter were on the front page of the newspaper
<bigwoodthing> so shes showing everyone in the office, bragging about how cute her baby looks
<bigwoodthing> she finally shows me the paper, and guess what the article theyre in is about
<taylor-made> what?
<bigwoodthing> the poverty that is gripping the area due to several large companies cutting jobs :(
<taylor-made> ...
<bigwoodthing> what the hell are you supposed to say in that situation?
<bigwoodthing> "sorry that your family is in a bad spot financially, but on the bright side your daughter is SOOOOO CUTE!" |
#55139 (192/356) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< Yaakov> Humans can divide things into two by eye very accurately.
< RichiH> Yaakov: laser eyes? |
#55138 (70/304) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<MadeInAustralia> 95% of emos are homosexual
<Pen_Pen> And the rest are female. |
#55433 (314/468) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Paradiddler> I love when young children spin the rims on parked vehicles
<Keru> <Paradiddler> I love young children
<peer> you just love young children
<Paradiddler> what are you implying
<Evilhomer> I think they're implying you touch children in inappropriate places, in exchange for candy.
<Paradiddler> candy is delicious. why would i give it away to grubby children
<Evilhomer> good point |
#55431 (220/352) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
[`42`Kyle] `42` is a one man clan
[orangekid] can i join?
[`42`Kyle] ... |
#55421 (432/526) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<kayla> what you doin?
<livefyre> reading wikipedia for fun
<kayla> why you reading that?
<livefyre> Cause it makes me feel like less of a nerd with no life when I see a nine page article about lightsabers. |
#55092 (276/422) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<pwn> remove my ban from #Freebsd
<BSDaemon> why?
<pwn> because its preventing me from joining
<BSDaemon> I bet. That's usually what bans do |
#55113 (84/226) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Ryken> Why doesn't EFnet have chanserv and nickserv?
<+iamben> we have /kick and /ban, thats good enough. |
#55107 (90/270) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Botje> i'm waiting for vim's omnicompletion to become intelligent
<decay> omnicompletion?
<decay> what does it do?
<decay> complete on all available sources? :)
<infi> you type in #!/usr/bin/perl -w, hit TAB, and it writes your program for you
<Botje> infi: that's for vim7.43
<infi> these newfangled neural DWIM interfaces kick ass
<decay> only question left: my editor wrote the wrong program for me, what can i do?
<integral> press tab again to begin cycling through the programs |
#55078 (219/389) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
ppcCube: my daughter found a big pile of pennies the other day in some parking lot... "as she was picking them up, a passer by asked 'oh do you collect pennies?'" and my daughter blurts out "Pennies?! screw that, i collect money" |
#55095 (176/318) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<mroach> if you use the Hebrew locale, do progress bars go right to left? |
#55058 (92/322) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<zb^3_> sektie
<zb^3_> i can't just stand here with my cock in my hand
<Workdug> start moving your hand up and down in a smooth, continuous motion
<Workdug> it feels really good after a while
<rpenguin> unless your hands are covered in habanero sauce :(
<goldfish> words of wisdomComment: efnet #okcupid
|
#55084 (303/477) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<fruitkat> .... and four aprons.. but still SIX KNIVES!
<fruitkat> and theres one called the 'stiff boning knife'
<fruitkat> ohhhh yeahhhh.
<fruitkat> im pretty much going to be boning dead animals.
* thousand has changed the topic to: <fruitkat> im pretty much going to be boning dead animals.
<fruitkat> ah crap.
<@thousand> Sorry, it had to be done :)Comment: #qc
|
#55042 (235/433) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< withnail> i feel sorry for you people with jobs. i have already spent an hour today learning how to play the music from super mario 2 on guitar |
#54997 (183/361) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<buu> sex, drugs and lans
<buu> right
<worm> sounds like a documentary
<buu> sounds like fun
<dirt|afk> sex drugs and lans?
<dirt|afk> um... you mean, porn, asthma inhalers and ... lans? |
#54993 (252/462) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< DMM> that reminds me of my favourite sorting algorithm
< DMM> rearrange the objects randomly using a quantum random number generator, then test to see if they are sorted. If not, destroy the universe.
< DMM> in linear time you will produce an ensemble of universes in which the objects are sorted
< zem> ooh
< zem> truly a universal sorting algorithm |
|
save page |
share: reddit
stumbleupon
digg
facebook
twitter
tumblr
<Prev1..140141142143144145146..596Next> |
|