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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..136137138139140141142..596Next> |
#56318 (167/335) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
KhaosIsOrder: you suck
xyzzy: for a nominal fee |
#56224 (239/409) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<mtrisk> damnit
<mtrisk> it was the wrong hole
<mtrisk> but it's still only half fixed
<mtrisk> wtf
<mtrisk> it only works when im touching it
<tpfusion> ...
<mtrisk> my _headphones_ damnit! |
#56367 (280/486) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<FrozenTrout> I stubbed my toe
<Thorog> (This toe is a stub. You can help #sluggysquad by expanding it!) |
#56295 (173/339) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<TheMouse> Aurora, CS at jouse of pancock
<TheMouse> pancakes
<TheMouse> PANCAKES
<Aurora> PAGING DR. FREUD |
#56291 (-1/345) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<rhoppenrath> xanadu: I don't get tested....I just fuck women.....and tell them I have aids......when they freak out....go get tested and call me crying from joy because they are clean I know I passed
<rhoppenrath> I'm cheapComment: irc.vaccus.com @ #main
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#56287 (126/300) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@saic> lol you have an IRL char?
<@saic> what level? |
#56274 (261/401) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<guyadams[serious]> where do you live teloch
<Teloch> NC.
<guyadams[serious]> North korea?
<guyadams[serious]> or north carolina
<Teloch> Korea starts with a "K", in case you didn't see that. |
#56254 (17/251) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<[4D]Prontera> ..I wonder if how you drive indicates what your IQ is ;)
<Blade|> i guess you drive slow to represent yours |
#56249 (301/509) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Advocate> Hey guys, wanna hear a riddle? ^^
<Advocate> There's jill and jack on the floor, dead
<LightFang> They're fish
<Advocate> I hate you |
#56235 (-7/365) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Kav> fat people are people x2 |
#56231 (135/313) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+Wulf> Last night I was at a concert that really sucked, and the only time I clapped was when the guy said "give yourself a warm round of applause" |
#56079 (-5/519) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Video> I'm ordering a white DVD burner, on the assumption that it'll work. |
#56337 (163/331) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Mal> I may have made a fatal error in my personal development.
<Wad_Shooter> What'dya mean?
<Mal> OK, so a couple of years ago I graduate, get ready to go to university.
<Mal> And I'm a nice guy and everything, but I'm a bit quiet. Shy, you know?
<Wad_Shooter> Yeah...
<Mal> So I decide to become more of a quick speaker. The kind of guy who's got a good one-liner for any situation. Pretty easy stuff - I started by using a few characters from books, sort of borrowing their mannerisms, and it eventually stuck. I started becoming more talkative, and more outwardly funny.
<Mal> Basically I was just coming out and saying the shit that was going through my head anyway.
<Mal> Problem was, at around the same time I started reading these fucking quote sites - Bash, QDB, you know.
<Wad_Shooter> OK...
<Mal> So I'm still coming out with funny stuff that's going through my head - but now it's like 99% 'your mum' jokes.
<Wad_Shooter> LOL, smooth
<Mal> Shut up, your mum takes it in the arse. |
#56271 (66/262) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< WakkoWRNR> I am a proud member of PETA
< WakkoWRNR> People Eating Tasty Animals |
#56225 (113/249) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+Pi> dhhhhh
* Pi is trying out dvorak again
<+elmar> the dvorak keyboard?
<+Pi> no, fucking the composers corpse. |
#56208 (237/359) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Teloch: i was helping my tech teacher out a few days in july or so
Teloch: and
Teloch: i got some calls
Teloch: from potential customers
Teloch: and one of them was this little boy who couldn't have been more than six or seven
Teloch: and he was almost in TEARS
Teloch: "everything i type is in caps what do i do my moms goinng to kill me" |
#56199 (251/419) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
madskz: dude i keep typing my password instead of my username for gmail
madskz: so frickin annoying!!
khaos: lol
khaos: wat's ur gmail username anyway?
madskz: tr7321
madskz: FUCK |
#56197 (337/497) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Rusty> have you ever really thought about when people call themselves a bad motherfucker?
<Rusty> i mean wtf
<Rusty> "fear me! for not only do i engage in sex acts with a parent, but i suck at it!" |
#56192 (233/353) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<thefwf> lent soon
<thefwf> this is where my amazing plan comes in
<FSR|Meatwad> yeah
<FSR|Meatwad> which is
<thefwf> my new years resolution was to give up something for lent
<thefwf> and for lent
<thefwf> i'm giving up my new years resolution
<thefwf> WIN! |
#56189 (197/335) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<thefwf> I'm gonna go slit wrists
<thefwf> brb
<pritch> k
<pritch> wait that's bad for you
<pritch> and emo
<thefwf> Who said I'm doing it to my wrists? |
#56188 (152/272) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Nuttacon> i hate this, i have sooooooooooo much i could be doing..
<Nuttacon> it's overwhelming, i end up just worrying about how to do it all and not get anything done :(
<pentium176> i think you need a lesson in time management
<Nuttacon> perhaps
<Nuttacon> i don't know when i'd have time for it |
#56171 (106/234) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<woops> people without porn invent stuff like computers or solve world hunger |
#56166 (355/439) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Darien> I love my job
<Darien> I saw a coworker trying to figure out how to make his chair lean back
<Darien> he was on the ground looking at the bottom of it
<Darien> we talk about the chairs for a minute or so
<Darien> then he puts on his headset, hits a button on his phone, and says 'Sorry ma'am, thanks for holding.' |
#56161 (160/322) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Apophis> "marry such women as seem good to you, 2, 3, or 4, or if you fear you will not do justice (between them) then marry only one or what your right hand possesses"
<Apophis> am I correct in understanding this Koran passage to say, "Marry 2, 3, or 4 hot babes, or, if you can't handle them, either marry just one of them, or jerk off."
<Apophis> if so, I could get used to islam.
<olaf> lol
<Apophis> its win-win
<Apophis> either I get multiple hot babes, or I can masturbate without sinning |
#56160 (99/259) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ddrfreak> 58 points
<ddrfreak> 7 deaths
<ddrfreak> I AM A FUCKIN MACHINE!
<yeats> You killed 7 people during sex? |
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