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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..137138139140141142143..596Next> |
#56157 (18/230) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
(+tfg) I wonder how far my punto could tow a caravan
(gez) nowhere without being illegal, otherwise anywhere downhill
(+tfg) how would it be illegal?
(gez) your licence wont cover it
(+tfg) wrong
(+tfg) as long as it's under 3 tonne I'm sorted
(gez) you sure?
(+tfg) I can drive a car + trailer up to a combined mass of 3500KG
(gez) who the fuck tows anything over 3 tons?
(Jani) aeroplanes weigh over 3 tonnes
(gez) true
(gez) i must remember not to tow mine to school tomorrow
(Jani) gonna fly it instead? |
#56152 (153/303) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
• ~Delphy sticks a usb flash drive up his nostril.
(Deathwings) "new hardware found" |
#56138 (143/291) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<CantOutRunADuck> man i wish i had a little brother so i could play with Transformers without looking like a tool
<bored> you'd still look like a tool
<iGuy> i think the fact that you are a tool makes you look like a tool. having a little brother just means you have company in the toolchest |
#56346 (165/313) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<issuez> FYI
<issuez> dicks sporting goods website isnt dicks.comComment: #geekissues
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#56099 (366/496) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Qwote> I just found out how the universe is going to end.
<Hax0r> how?
<Qwote> Someone will put two mirrors together and leave them alone lone enough that the universe will run out of stack space, and a universal segmentation fault will occour. |
#56019 (144/302) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@Stupid> Children need to feel secure, so strap them down whenever possible. |
#56011 (196/354) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<jose3030> I just saved a ton of money on my car insurance by eluding police during a chase. |
#56001 (184/328) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< wernicus> everyone on irc is male until proven otherwise |
#55915 (252/390) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Kederaji: It's the anniversary of Zelda today.
Lasukie: I know
Lasukie: I wore green.
Lasukie: and never walked on an angle
Kederaji: LOL
Kederaji: did you hop?
Kederaji: and sing the song?
Lasukie: yes, about a half hour after I woke up
Kederaji: You will never get laid.
Lasukie: I know -.- |
#56036 (142/294) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
NowImNothing9194: when's vista comming out?
r3u28d87y: like end of the year
r3u28d87y: its supposedly a piece of shit too
NowImNothing9194: i hear there's "flavors"
NowImNothing9194: like business, home, office
r3u28d87y: and they all taste like shit |
#56032 (175/353) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Ian> is it weird for a 15 year old girl to have homemade porn of her boyfriend cumming on her laptop
<daniel> Probably
<daniel> I mean. I guess there could be a laptop fetish out there.
<daniel> oh
<daniel> wait
<heather> :)
<daniel> I completely parsed that wrong
<Ian> yeah the porn is on her laptop
<heather> I was gonna say, why would you do that to a laptop
<daniel> I know, but that's how I read it
<daniel> and I was thinking "Well, I guess someone out there jerks off on laptops"
<Unosuke> laptops are warm >>;
* Unosuke gets a point for makeing everyone feel uncomfortable
<zmeiat_joro> soooo...
<zmeiat_joro> the guy doesn't really cum on her laptop?
<Unosuke> poor laptopComment: #qc
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#55997 (234/372) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Porque> So, per usual, my town is filled with rednecks.
<Porque> Needless to say, this makes the day more interesting when there's a dead deer in the middle of the road.
<Porque> Since there's such little traffic going through here every day, a deer died in the middle of the road. The bus driver pulls over by it, and I'm sitting there going "wtf are you waiting for, move the damn carcass".
<Porque> So we end up waiting for about a minute. I'm still sitting there, stunned by the stupidity, when this redneck BLAZES down the street in his truck, stopping on a dime right by us. The guy hops out with a chainsaw, revs it. HE SAWS THE HORNS OFF OF THE DEER AND LEAVES THE BODY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD.
<Porque> Turns out someone on the bus called the guy on a cellphone and let him know. |
#55995 (180/304) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Trai`Hwork> you know, 'real' communism is acctually a really good form of government...
<Trai`Hwork> atleast, that's what civ 2 told me |
#55926 (159/291) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<eTombotron> i mean, i hope you realize what's going on here.
<SquidDNA> what's going on here, eTom?
<eTombotron> i'm not sure. |
#55916 (68/246) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<r4v5> price: US $6.99
<r4v5> Shipping: US $7.99 -- US Postal Service Priority Mail®
<r4v5> At your local Skate Shop these bearings run for more than $15!
<r4v5> HOLY SHIT THEY DO ON EBAY TOO, YOU DUMBSHIT |
#55899 (222/394) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<fLy> hahaha
<fLy> <fLy> dw ive been crying mysql to sleep over this for some time :p
<fLy> I just wrote mysql
<fLy> instead of mysql
<fLy> fuck
<fLy> myself
<fLy> this is getting sad |
#55863 (277/415) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< Crew^> i was so nervous when i had to be checked when i joined the army
< Crew^> then i was asked to leave the army because they thought i was too dangerous
< Crew^> only in canada can you be too dangerous to be in the army |
#55860 (12/328) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<fin> lol guys remember when i ban evaded 999 times
* Kenji sets mode: +b *!*@anon-289070.midsouth.res.rr.com
* fin was kicked by Kenji (ban evasion)Comment: #machogang on otherside
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#55857 (185/369) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
digmikey: the longest i had sex was 1 hour 10second. but was the day we set the clocks ahead. |
#55852 (129/339) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<axiom> heh my sister's friend got molested by a gay guy he had to share a bed with on a band trip..hahah
<Socks> what's so funny about that?
<axiom> he's working to become a priest |
#55842 (190/370) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<ame> and the other 3 hours were spent chatting up the female specimens
<herr_doktor> LMAO...
<herr_doktor> specimens? you plan on dissection?
<ame> no, just some good, thorough probing |
#55838 (10/318) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<altoid> so this ~20 year old walks up with his mom to the register
<altoid> and she's paying with a check
<altoid> so our cashier asks her for ID to verify
<altoid> and he says (jokingly): "why do you have to be such a bitch?"
<altoid> (to the cashier)
<altoid> and his mom turns to him, and says with a concerned tone:
<altoid> "you're gonna have a lot of success with the ladies"
<altoid> the guy: "..."
<altoid> the cashier couldn't even be mad at him for calling her a bitch
<altoid> i think if my mom told me that, i'd have to go kill myself within 5 minsComment: the Gap
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#55833 (230/362) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Vamp i s h ly: I just prefer dating men because girls are so complicated
Kick the Can 97: i concur
Kick the Can 97: except for the dating men part |
#55678 (-3/347) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Bendite: A Holocaust is never funny.......unless you are killing clowns. |
#55251 (-4/380) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
callcentermonkey: Fucking Steelers rock
Daleana: fuckers won!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Daleana: ASSHOLES!!
callcentermonkey: that's an odd way to spell "Champions" |
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