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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..369370371372373374375..596Next> |
#307461* (?/44) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<orion`> there is a flaw in my beard plan
<orion`> i have noticed some ginger hairs, they will have to be dealt with
<orion`> since I have a soul |
#307462* (?/42) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<SimonJester> I am now the proud owner of a knife switch! I've been looking one of these for ages.
<myself> where'd you meet her? |
#307465* (?/44) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<+Rolo> Incest is wonderful, or so I've heard. Awkward feelings before, during and afterward and lifelong secrets ftw |
#307486 (6/146) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<centrinia> I am going to make something similar to a home pregnancy test device.
<robb_www> but it will be made of RAZORBLADES
<robb_www> and it will always say "not anymore" |
#307489* (?/34) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< crash_demons> oh crap did I just manage to kill a butterfly
< crash_demons> o.0 I should have died
< crash_demons> awesome.
<&o11c> ...
<&o11c> you know, that quote summarizes everything that is right and everything that is wrong with TMW
< crash_demons> yeah. |
#307529* (?/34) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Oddlot> Google+ is saying "Update to a more modern browser"
<Valtieri> When G+ says 'more modern'... do they assume you're on Netscape? Safari?
<Oddlot> They assume i'm on not Safari, IE, Chrome, or Firefox
<Valtieri> I don't really count Safari as 'modern'. :-P
<Oddlot> Well
<Oddlot> To be fair
<Valtieri> IE, arguably now. Firefox or Opera, sure.
<Oddlot> Apparently it is pretty good
<Oddlot> But
<Oddlot> It's still made by apple
<Oddlot> So it's inherintly bad
<Valtieri> Apparently having a dog lick your nuts feels pretty good too, but I'm not about to try.
<Oddlot> I've gotta' remember that about mac's :P
<Valtieri> I try. :-P |
#307554* (?/56) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Person 1: I'll hop on the PC when I've woken up
Person 1: so we'll arrange a pickup time then
Person 1: ... Dear Rick, the FBI agent reading this log. We're talking about an OS Disk.
Person 1: Calm down and carry on.
Person 1: xD
Person 2: Hey Rick!
Person 1: How freaked out are you that we know your full name, Mr. Sheldon?
Person 2: Don't forget to bring your daughter some cookies after work, okay?
Person 1: xD He's positively tripping balls.
Person 1: Oh man... I hate to ruin it if we were indeed 100% spot on with all our speculatory assumptions of a possible Big Brother-esque situation
Person 1: but just imagine if we were 100% right
Person 1: How screwed up would that guy be?
Person 2: Well, one or both of us would probably be disappeared within the week
Person 2: Which I suppose would render my computer troubles moot.
Person 1: How so?
Person 1: Wouldn't Rick Sheldon be fearing for his own life?
Person 1: At least two persons knew so much about him and he knew nothing about them
Person 1: At that point, he'd fear that he was under masterful surveillance
Person 2: Yes, but someone in his position would likely be in a position to arrange for our disappearance.
Person 1: Would he?
Person 1: He would think so.
Person 2: oh, I see where you're going.
Person 1: But he would also think that we were in some positon to APPEAR disappeared
Person 1: while still maintaining presence.
Person 2: Poor Rick Sheldon.
Person 1: Take this as a hint, Richard.
Person 1: We are already laying the groundwork that will lead to your acquisition of this log.
Person 1: Your life will from this day forth be dictated by us.
Person 1: Have a pleasant evening.Comment: Names redacted to screw with Richard Sheldon, FBI.
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#307579* (?/40) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Doodle> (2:21:20 PM) Riosan: i've always pictured doodle as a 4'10" midget named tim
<Doodle> (2:21:28 PM) Riosan: or an angry little lawn gnome
<Doodle> oh u
<Riosan> i have ;-;
<Doodle> I'M IN YOUR FRONT LAWN
<Doodle> MAKING A MESS WHEN YOU'RE NOT HOME
<Riosan> ;-;
<Riosan> just don't tip over my garbage can
<Doodle> That's part of the mess making, son
<Spencer> Why did I just suddenly imagine Doodle, jacking off on Rio's front lawn, laughing rather evilly
<Spencer> :|
<Doodle> :U
<Klap-Trap> Doodle, you naughtly boy
<Klap-Trap> naughty |
#307595* (?/48) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
hello : Haha brainfuck is the worsesd language ever
@TheBadShepperd : Worst*
Boreeas : hello: Brainfuck is intended to be a fun language, not one to code seriously in <.<
hello : Yes im dutch
+TheNoodle : wat.Comment: #help on esper.net
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#307601* (?/34) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Oz> Holy shit. XD
<Oz> Fred the super-baboon thing had over 50 pieces of metal in him from a single x-ray, including lead shot, some of which was INSIDE HIS SKULL
<Oz> That's one badass monkey.
<Oz> Throw in all the car-jacking, burglary and being the leader of a gang, all he needed was a rap career and he'd've been set for life. |
#307645* (?/78) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<~Fireant> Let us for now stop the SOPA talk and think.
<Solo> When a bunch of female ponies group together in protest, is it called a fillybuster?
<Solo> ^ I stopped talking about SOPA and thought.Comment: #EquestriaDaily on Canternet (irc.canternet.org)
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#307685* (?/42) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<devin> i'm dead
<Rena> oh great now the channel is haunted
<Bagel> what's worse is that devin really is a banana despite what he believed
<Bagel> so we're haunted by banana ghost
<Rena> and here I thought someone had just farted after eating a ton of bananas
<Rena> wait, if you did that, would you have radioactive farts
<Rena> ...Mr Rogers was inspired by TV. He saw people throwing pies at eachother and said "such amazing technology and we're using it for *this*!?" He'd have a heart attack if he could see the internet today.Comment: we never did resolve the radioactive farts issue
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#307807* (?/22) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< o11c> keep in mind, threading in general is *hard*
< bjorn> Hmm, I think there was a quote about understanding threading, but I can't remember it.
< bjorn> Well, I found an unrelated quote while trying to find it... "XML is like violence: if it doesn't solve your problem, you aren't using enough of it."
< o11c> ugh, xml
< bjorn> I knew somebody would like it. :)
< o11c> "I object to XML because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent."
< o11c> "XML, even well intentioned, always rebounds upon oneself."
< o11c> "Legitimate use of XML can only be that which is required in self-defense."
< o11c> "XML grows from desperation. Let's take the high ground."
< o11c> "XML is an admission that one's ideas and goals cannot prevail on their own merits."
< o11c> "XML is the last refuge of the incompetent."
< PjotrOrial> I feel I was not preached enough how nice xml is...
< o11c> "Nothing good ever comes of XML."
< o11c> "If you succumb to the temptation of using XML in the struggle...your chief legacy to the future will be an endless reign of meaningless chaos."
< o11c> "You never need an argument against the use of XML, you need an argument for it."
* bjorn still likes the quote he found best.
< o11c> "XML is not power, but the absence of power."
< o11c> Okay, I'm done
< PjotrOrial> I am not sure if it is good to believe bjorn in that point... both mana and tiled only use xml based formats
< o11c> Tbh, there *are* legitimate uses of XML, but it is WAY overused
< bjorn> PjotrOrial: Well, i guess it's still better than using a custom format if you want to be interoperable. |
#307820* (?/38) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
* MrBarman links to a gif of a guy falling onto a tree.
<phosphers> wow, that guy sure fucked that branch.
<MrBarman> impromptu tree anal.
<phosphers> he woulda stuck the landing if the tree hadn't been there
<MrBarman> that's like saying Princess Diana's chauffeur would have gotten away from those paparazzi if that concrete pillar hadn't been there
<Stereo> it's like saying those terrorists coulda landed them planes if not for all the damn Trade Center buildings being so tall
<MrBarman> it's like saying Hitler could have conquered Russia if it weren't for all the damn Jews in the way |
#307973* (?/34) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@Digga> so this draw something game right
<@Digga> it has taught me a valuable lesson
<@Digga> it has taught me that from memory i can draw lil wayne well enough for someone to be able to correctly guess |
#308054* (?/28) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<nathan> GODDAMNIT
<nathan> my DB is being an anus to me
<tonyb486> ANUS DB?!
<tonyb486> with the anusdb, every user gets their own "anus," and are encouraged to say things like "just store it in my anus"
<jercos> tonyb486: In unrelated news, the singular of data is now officially "dick"
<jercos> You've got some data? Just put each dick one after the other in my anus.
<nathan> badum-tish |
#308095* (?/32) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<CF> I AM HAVING A BATTLE OF WILLS WITH MY PENIS |
#308124* (?/36) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<makoto> Dear Vodafone; your data connectivity drops more frequently then a whores panties. |
#308133* (?/26) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Eri> Awkwardness?
<Eri> I'm not awkward
<[ka]killer> eri
<[ka]killer> you are more awkward then half this room put together
<Eri> ?
<Eri> No way
<Eri> I'm totally the coolest
<[ka]killer> who agrees with me?
<Ikthyrion> everyone but Eri
<Kit> I am confused about whether or not I have split personality syndrome, and you are still more awkward than I am |
#308199* (?/42) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<wickk> lol I haven't even played with/against him but it refreshes on a KB
<Cor> on a what now
<wickk> Killing Blow
<Cor> i bang skinny people, you can't just abbreviate gaming terms to me
<wickk> lmfao |
#308255* (?/28) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
* microcolonel increases the size of his terminal to click on albel's ubscenely long link
<@microcolonel> s/ubscenely/obscenely/
<@albel727> there's tinyurl below
<@microcolonel> IC
<@microcolonel> her hips
<@microcolonel> they're unfit for children
<@microcolonel> penises as well
<@microcolonel> she looks like a man in that respect
<@microcolonel> none of these things are sexy
* microcolonel closes
<@albel727> THE IMAGE IS DISTRIBUTED IN THE HOPE THAT IT WILL BE USEFUL, BUT WITHOUT ANY WARRANTY. IT IS PROVIDED "AS IS" WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, EITHER EXPRESSED OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED TO, THE IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY AND FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE.
<@albel727> (INCLUDING FAPPING).
<+Sean_McG> albel727: *applause*
* microcolonel bows to albel727 |
#308408* (?/32) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<+darkf> yay i get a cross by my name
<+darkf> does this mean i'm jesus? |
#308574* (?/30) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<cyb3rm00se> Dude what
<cyb3rm00se> I have no idea what's going on right now
<cyb3rm00se> I started speaking random Germanic gibberish and suddenly
airships |
#308599* (?/24) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Vindictive: i'd be a wonderful ambassador
Vindictive: sadly
Vindictive: or a politician, i've always wanted to run for an office
Vindictive: :D
ag4lugy4: dude I'd move just to register to vote for you
Vindictive: i'll be mayor of Texas
ag4lugy4: I enjoy chaos
Vindictive: screw the governer, that b!tch answers to me
ag4lugy4: law #1: Fat people may only travel to places by hopping on one leg- no cars or public transit
Vindictive: and if you have to buy two seats on an airplane, you're shot on site
Vindictive: and fed to the poor because I am a kind Mayor |
#308787* (?/24) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Sophrosyne> -.- I started playing music and the music started skipping or something so I thought my computer was going to blow up
<Sophrosyne> Turns out, I have a remix of the song I wanted to listen to on my computer |
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