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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..360361362363364365366..596Next> |
#302233* (?/30) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<B-Rad> my typing is gettign horid.. |
#302249* (?/52) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: heyyyy
You: hey there
Stranger: horney ass female
Stranger: wanna fuck?
You: hell yes
Stranger: how old?
You: 18
You: you?
Stranger: 17
Stranger: so, be gentle with me - im just a little girl - but what r u gonna do to me...?
Stranger: ;)
You: Fuck your brains out
Stranger: im sitting in front of you with nothing on but a peice on langerie - what do u do?
You: I grab your breasts, squeezing them and playing with the nipple with my fingers
Stranger: hm... that feels so good.......
You: I lean in and stick my dick into your vagina, moving back and forth into it
You: Groping your breasts at the same time
Stranger: oh god.....
Stranger: u feel sooooooooooooo good!!!
Stranger: fuck me harder!! let me be your little girl tonight!!
You: I take my dick out and then I make you go on your knees
You: I open your mouth up and stick my dick in it
You: Sliding it in and out
Stranger: yes..... pound me!!
You: Suddenly, my penis erupts into flames, spewing flaming sperm everywhere!
You: You're lit on fire, screaming as I grab a fire extinguisher
You: I spray it on you to try and put it out
You: but it grows larger
You: You start to bleed from your face and cry out streams of blood
You: I call the police, but I'm put on hold
You: Suddenly, I realize you're nothing but a dream
You: A sick, evil, demonic, Mexican dream
You: ~Jules. B Shakespeare
You: Good day sir
Stranger: um..................
Stranger: what?
Your conversational partner has disconnected. |
#302277* (?/70) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Saber3G> Hopefully to 300~
<Saber3G> Hopefully to 300~
<Saber3G> Er fail
<Inuka> lol
<Inuka> New iPhone feature.
<Inuka> Echo repeat.
<Inuka> Now in app form
<Saber3G> Got no friends? Theres an app for that! :D |
#302297* (?/36) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
+ProfDrum • My favourite bit of Lost is the bit where I turn it over when I see it's about to come on. |
#302316* (?/22) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(2010-03-27 22:29:13) TraceII: are you there?
(2010-03-27 22:29:44) movi: TraceII, /part is what you want
(2010-03-27 22:29:51) TraceII: hold on...
(2010-03-27 22:30:00) TraceII left the room.
(2010-03-27 22:30:03) movi: PRICELESS
(2010-03-27 22:30:24) TraceII: what just happenedComment: #android
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#302318* (?/14) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< Freeyorp> interesting nick changes'
< EntityReborn> OHAI
< Freeyorp> s/\'/./
<&init> heh
<&init> [link]
<&init> :D
< EntityReborn> Freeyorp, regex fail
< Freeyorp> sed
< EntityReborn> still fail, you need to escape the .
< EntityReborn> afaik
< Freeyorp> Not in the replacement
< EntityReborn> actually, wait.
< Freeyorp> $ echo "interesting nick changes'" | sed s/\'/./
< Freeyorp> interesting nick changes.
< EntityReborn> Now that I remember it, no
< EntityReborn> Yea
< Freeyorp> :P
< EntityReborn> I remember my regex bot behaved that same way (how you say it) and I was puzzled.
< Freeyorp> syntax nazi fail
< EntityReborn> Exactly |
#302321* (?/16) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* You are now known as bacon
<bacon> !!!!!!!
* bacon
* bacon
* bacon
* bacon
* bacon
* bacon
* bacon
* bacon
* bacon
* bacon
* bacon
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#302332* (?/14) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+Sami> you can ignore ignorant ghetto people
<+Sami> as long as you dont get shot
<+Geewiz> you cant ignore them when they throw an empty 40 oz of steel reserve through your window at 3 int he morning
<+Sami> at 3 in the morning in the hood you'd most likely be at the club
<+Sami> so it wouldn't disturb you
<+Sami> stop being a pansy |
#302338 (6/228) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<frysteev> im wondering what weekend at bernies would have been like if jim henson made it |
#302348* (?/22) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<B-Rad> ok..
<yoshi> >.>
<yoshi> FU brad :D
<B-Rad> nothnx
<yoshi> pl0x? |
#302351* (?/10) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
oh_snap: kharma, What's your job, anyways?
kharma: I make websites.
ike_ike: ...I bet kharma can actually pull girls with that line
kharma: Lol ike_ike.
kharma: 'Hey baby, come back to my place and we can write some dirty html together'
wereguy2: kharma, aww yeaahh
kharma: "Yo, I like the look of your <body>. Come back to my place, <div> your legs and I'll give you <head> on a <table>."
kharma: ...ok, that was probably a bit wrong.Comment: hiveworkshop.com
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#302354* (?/16) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
lonestarnorth: okay my testicles are bulging out of the hole in my pants
lonestarnorth: i should fix this
Scaramouche: Please do.
lonestarnorth: or maybe i'll just save them for the next time you come over
lonestarnorth: "HEY, GUESS WHAT THAT IS"
Scaramouche: "A d20?"
lonestarnorth: "Correct. NOW LOOK AT MY TESTICLES HANGING OUT!"
Scaramouche: "AAGH!" |
#302412* (?/10) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Rushhh> i'm logging off
<Rushhh> bye
<@Raide> cya
<Rushhh> is there any slangs for 'logging off'?
<Doomfest> "I'm gonna go take a cock"
<Rushhh> I'm gonna go take a cock
<Pato2747> what
<%Peorth> o.O
<Rushhh> I'm gonna go take a cock :)
<Rushhh> what does it mean
<Fink> doomfest, you are horrible
<Doomfest> rush what is your first language
<Rushhh> Japanese
-
Rushhh is ~Rushhh@xxxxx.ne.jp * Rushhh
-
[~15:04:41~] * Doomfest facepalms |
#302429* (?/18) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Redkid> Hey bartbes, explain to me how to use SECS properly.
<bartbes> first you get some LUBE
<bartbes> then you get a girl
<bartbes> and then when she's looking away
<Redkid> No no, that's AnAL
<bartbes> what do you need explained?Comment: All of those are names or libraries for the LÖVE engine. And they are all made by bartbes.
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#302431* (?/14) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< brousch> i think i killed eclipse
< brousch> i guess making a .net program in python on a java-based IDE is just not a good idea |
#302437* (?/16) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
d0gc0w: lousy still waiting for the trailer to l0ad
punch: owned via horse-drawn internet
punch: perhaps you should just get an acoustic coupler modem for one of your western electric telephones and complete the transformation
d0gc0w: well, i already did get a SMALLET and ditched the DATA PLAN on my phone
d0gc0w: i'm simplifying my life!
punch: lousy those two nearly insignificant things being the modern day equivalent of going off to live in some mountain shackComment: That's it, I'm moving to the hills!
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#302450* (?/22) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
When I was working behind the seafood counter at the local supermarket couple of years back a customer asked if we had crabs I said while trying to keep a straight face "well Im clean but my manager is still waiting to get his test results back" |
#302472* (?/20) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Freeyorp> If you want intuitive, go python, if you want object pedantic, go Java, if you want to get close to the code, go C, if you want to sit on the damn fence, go C++
<Jaxad0127> if you want fast mem, stay away from C/C++
<Freeyorp> If you want a memory whore, go Java :P
<Jaxad0127> if you don't want to wait for the OS to find mem for you, go Java
<Freeyorp> If you want to boost the economy by obsoleting equipment without absurd amounts of memory, go Java
<Kage> If you want anal sex, go gay! |
#302504* (?/20) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<adam2mew> B-Rad or B-Gone!
<adam2mew> lol
=-= Mode #gekinzuku +o B-Rad by OperServ
<B-Rad> mkay
<adam2mew> omg typo
* Parts: adam2mew |
#302520* (?/12) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<GeekyLink> in florida it is considered an offense to shower naked.
<B-Rad> foxy!
<B-Rad> we must offend the law together
<B-Rad> my place tomorrow night
<Foxy> lol |
#302527* (?/16) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Balls_Deep> you know what's fucked up?
<Balls_Deep> if you weigh like 135 and you say you fucked a 500lb chick, everybody can accept that, and her weight
<Balls_Deep> but if you say you lifted her, suddenly you're a fucking liar
<Balls_Deep> is that a double standard? |
#302548* (?/14) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Lee> shes freaking out because she wants me to cut some lawns (yes multiple), yet yesterday i volunteer to wash+clean the car
<B-Rad> don't volunteer!
<B-Rad> they'll expect more of it
<B-Rad> that's like a wife putting out
<B-Rad> do so rarely and keeps expectations low |
#302557* (?/16) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@coldhead> it's about a woman
<nlogax> tell me more
<ben_alman> a woman? i don't understand
<@coldhead> are you familiar with this ascii art: ( . Y . ) ?
<@coldhead> it's a different woman to that
<ben_alman> wait.
<ben_alman> i need you to pick one of these
<ben_alman> type either A or B. by woman you mean A) ( . Y . ) or B) 8===D
<@coldhead> A
<ben_alman> ok.
<@coldhead> but with a different Y
<ben_alman> like, an extra Y?
<ben_alman> wait.
<ben_alman> i need you to pick one of these
<ben_alman> type either A or B. by extra Y you mean A) ( . Y . Y . ) or B) 8===D
<nlogax> QUAID COME CLOSEEERR
<nlogax> GET UR ASS TO MARSComment: #jquery, irc.freenode.net
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#302564* (?/12) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<The_Doer> i need a new pokemon level strategy, also need to catch a fighting pokemon
<NEO|Phyte`> waterproof your pokewalker and fasten it to the inside of your washing machine
<Drazhar> won't work
<Drazhar> a pokemon can only gain one level per stroll
<NEO|Phyte`> how are strolls defined?
<The_Doer> transfer to and then from
<GralaminShieldheart> Then, you just need to build a machine
<GralaminShieldheart> That will rotate it, then order a transfer
<GralaminShieldheart> Then order a transfer back
[17:<GralaminShieldheart> Simple
<The_Doer> you get 1XP per step you make IIRC
<Fax> you would think it would be simpler to just do the leveling
<Fax> but as long as we're Rube Goldberging
<Fax> we can create a piston that pushes a button repeatedly
<Fax> powered by a windmill
<Fax> the windmill is powered by an electric fan
<Fax> plugged into a generator
<Fax> powered by a hamster wheel
<Fax> just add hamster
<GralaminShieldheart> Even better
<GralaminShieldheart> See if you can hook it up to a similar machine, In Dwarf Fortress, which has a script to send a jolt of electricity to a USB port everytime it completes it
<Fax> oh my god
<Fax> we've reached critical metamass
<Fax> powering a rube goldberg machine via a virtual rube goldberg machine?
<Fax> GENIUS |
#302566* (?/16) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<baronvonbadguy> uhok: weed is gay
<baronvonbadguy> whenever I smoke it
<baronvonbadguy> i get the urge to suck cocks |
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