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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..336337338339340341342..596Next> |
#306331* (?/27) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Fuzz> any idea where i can have a cable made up using good old fashioned bnc connectors?
<Sneaky_Ninja> bncs? wtf for
<Fuzz> this lap timer i bought
<Fuzz> the cable works
<Sneaky_Ninja> a dstv installer
<Fuzz> but has been joined in the most fucked up manner
<Sneaky_Ninja> then not just any dstv installer, go for ceri's ex, miles
<Sneaky_Ninja> when it comes to fucked up and bnc connectors, he'll be your man
<Fuzz> that would be awkward...
<Fuzz> hey there, remember me... my mate fucked your girlfriend in a bathroom... and i considered it too at one point... but enough about me, how are you? can you fix this?
<Sneaky_Ninja> no, it's more than that, you have a camaraderie with him
<Sneaky_Ninja> because you kept him occupied while i was fucking her
<Fuzz> i don't think he'd see our point of view on this as a good thing :P
<Sneaky_Ninja> probably not, he always was self centred |
#306407* (?/31) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@DigDug> how many pints of immigrant children's blood would the vendor use per week if he had to make the ketchup himself?
<@DigDug> wait
<tr3b0r85> now that's just silly
<@DigDug> let's use gallons, easier that way |
#306429* (?/31) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+Shadowww`RDP> life is for internet
<@larswey> and internet is for porn!
<+Shadowww`RDP> therefore life is for porn |
#306439* (?/23) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< CowbertDH> argh wikipedia mini-cabals! :(
< beeMind> wikipedia seems flush with those.
< beeMind> i can see how they'd become insular, though.
<@Nugget> [social skills needed] |
#306450* (?/29) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
BlueProtoman1: What's the quickest way to run Windows on a George Foreman grill?
Hideki: that question cannot be answered
BlueProtoman1: Yes, it can.
BlueProtoman1: The answer is this;
BlueProtoman1: Talk to me.
BlueProtoman1: After all, I am right now!Comment: #openpandora on freenode, for the OpenPandora handheld gaming computer!
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#306490* (?/31) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
.:11:26:46:. <~anus> my lips are all fucked from vegas.
.:11:26:55:. <~anus> i had to use lipstick
.:11:27:01:. <~anus> cracks all over.
.:11:27:14:. <~mrwomp> lol
.:11:27:17:. <~mrwomp> why not chapstick
.:11:27:22:. <~bi0oooo> haahahahahaha
.:11:27:39:. <~anus> chapstick*
.:11:27:42:. <~anus> lol
.:11:27:43:. <~bi0oooo> LOLOLOL
.:11:27:51:. <~anus> still dude..chapstick is kind of odd to use
.:11:27:57:. <~mrwomp> but clearComment: irc.horde-irc.net #/b/
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#306509* (?/25) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<dumpo> I've only been working out a week but my right side is already stronger than my left because i compensate when doing stuff like pushups =/
<FourChickens> due to nigh on 10 years of chronic masturbation my right side has never NOT been stronger than my left |
#306514* (?/47) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@nwagers> if you have a nintendo 3ds you can download excite bike for free
<@nukespoon> if you have a butt you can poop for free |
#306517* (?/35) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<<Senix>> Tundmatu: Penix is a linux distro made for your penis.
<Tundmatu> lol
<<Senix>> its quite fast, but cums a little early.
<<Senix>> Tundmatu: but you have to install using vagnet, which can get REALLy messy
<Tundmatu> lol
<Tundmatu> So
<<Senix>> Tundmatu: and if you get your protocols wrong, your RJ45 gets all dirty
<<Senix>> Tundmatu: and you better not kernel panic and memory dump inside the vagnet, or you'll have penix clones all over the place.
<Tundmatu> lolol
<<Senix>> then comes the reboot, where the vagnet wants you to reconfigure it and give it a ring topology.
<Tundmatu> Senix: You're good..
<<Senix>> and if you say no you have to give it %50 of your down speed for connection support. |
#306520* (?/23) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[Mom] I can't keep up with you.
[You] That's what she said!
[You] Err...
[You] -poker face- |
#306574* (?/29) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Xerei> guys! I've found THE scariest movie of all tiem
<Xerei> time*
<Xerei> High school musical
<Xerei> after watching it I've been lookin for singing gnomes under my bed |
#306578* (?/47) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
-*- MissMayhem tries penis elnarging pills on neighbor's cat
-*- MissMayhem waits to wake up to the sound of shrieking and something dragging
-*- platnicat giggles, he wouldn't find penis enlargement pills very helpful
<Freakin> Would likely just give the cat high blood pressure and more likely to get a heart attack
<MissMayhem> prolly
<MissMayhem> ..be funny as hell tho
<WerewoIf> wouldnt larger penis mean lower bloodpressure?
<MissMayhem> if it worked
<WerewoIf> except locallty
<MissMayhem> wake up randomly one day to see your cat dragging a massive dong
<platnicat> LOL
<MissMayhem> rush it to the vet
<MrFox> I would lawl
<Freakin> with a very annoyed and frustrated look on its face.
<platnicat> XD
<MissMayhem> " WTF HAPPENED TO MITTENS?!"
<WerewoIf> just drag it along on a skateboard
<MissMayhem> or one of those doggy wheelchairs
<Freakin> "What is with my junk being so huge all of the sudden? I didn't ask for this."
<MissMayhem> " now i got a ton more to lick"
<platnicat> ROFL
<MissMayhem> " and im neutered, this is just cruel"
<Freakin> "God damn it, I can't even get into the litterbox without hitting it on the side."
<MrFox> ahahaha
<MissMayhem> the cat would get it jammed in the cat doorComment: #furaffinity on FurNet
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#306596* (?/21) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<mr_sticky>: I'm a bit confused, i want to create an account for mibbit but it keeps asking me to sign in with an account
<HolisticHavvy>: mr_sticky: What type of account?
<HolisticHavvy>: Widget, Client, or irc.mibbit.net Server?
<mr_sticky>: just
an account to use irc with. i'm clicking on "Create an account" at the
top right but it just opens a new window asking for a user name and
password
<mr_sticky>: so i'm guessing client/
<HolisticHavvy>: Then give it a username and password.
<mr_sticky>: ahh okay thanks
*** mr_sticky left #help |
#306599* (?/47) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Mariomon> When will we see a wii emulator for the iphone come the fuck on seriously this is bullshit |
#306616* (?/43) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Figgis> Hey graphitemaster, don't fucking spam the chat.
<graphitemaster> hey Figgis lets go bitch
<Figgis> Hey graphitemaster, get that cock out of your mouth. You're speech is all mumble-y
<graphitemaster> take the one out of your ass, your stance is all stumbl-y |
#306618* (?/27) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Gabers: So, I was tardy to school today.
Gabers: On the pass, it asked me for an excuse.
Gabers: I put
Gabers: We don't need no education. We don't need no thought control.
Kc53: Being tardy is worth it,
Kc53: If not just to give epic lyrics a excuses. |
#306635* (?/45) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Nazaryn: I SO WANT A ROCKET LAUNCHER NAMED THAT
Marek: MAXIMUM FUCK
Nazaryn: rofl
Marek: Its got a las cannon on it
Marek: why
Marek: because
Marek: FUCK YOU |
#306649* (?/37) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<FyerEgg> I wanna go take my 4-year-old to the clinic
<FyerEgg> And ask if its too late to get an abortion
<FyerEgg> Just to see the reactions |
#306678* (?/45) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<willdayble> Yeah man, dubstep is basically the nu-metal of electronic music |
#306679* (?/39) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
moshizzle_grizzle> My b homie.
Qxxx> feels_bad_man.jpg
Qxxx> what's the distinction between a b homie and a regular homie
Qxxx> I'm white
Qxxx> I don't know these things
Qxxx> bro homie?
Qxxx> bromie?
moshizzle_grizzle> lol
Qxxx> bromine?
Qxxx> that's some bad shit
Qxxx> I think
Qxxx> I sucked at chemistry |
#306728* (?/49) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Earlier, on Omegle, I put up this question in their new Spy Mode;
If you're familiar with IRC, meet me in #openpandora on irc.freenode.net. Ask for TwilightSparkle by name in the chat, I may be away. This is not sex chat, this is for science. You will be paid.
Not long later...
TwilightSparkle: All right, the game's up
TwilightSparkle: Who's going on Omegle and telling people to connect to this server
TwilightSparkle: join this channel
TwilightSparkle: And then ask for me
asldfjkljl [4c79d89d@gateway/web/freenode/ip.76.121.216.157] entered the room.
TwilightSparkle: Let me guess, asldfjkljl
TwilightSparkle: You're here for science
asldfjkljl: yes
Minexew: and $
TwilightSparkle: Okay, who the fuck is telling people to do that on Omegle
asldfjkljl: no idea
BlueProtoman: Not me.
TwilightSparkle: I'm not mad or anything, but I would love to know
Minexew: lol looks like this will become interesting
TwilightSparkle: I SHALL CONNECT TO OMEGLE
TwilightSparkle: AND SEE IF I CAN FIND THIS PERSON
asldfjkljl: it's through the 'spy mode' questions so you really probably won't
asldfjkljl: and if you do you can only yell at them and recieve no response
Minexew: you could make a counter-question
lyper [~lyper@69-24-63-20.cableamos.com] entered the room.
TwilightSparkle: MalwynP: Are you here for science?
Da|Mummy: who the hell is lyper and why is he spamming me?
TwilightSparkle: Da|Mummy: Is he asking about science?
Da|Mummy: no i think he got blinded by that
TwilightSparkle: I see what you did there
Da|Mummy: damn that guy
forScience [~forScienc@129-97-217-245.uwaterloo.ca] entered the room.
forScience: looking for TwilightSparkle
Minexew: forScience: lol
forScience: hey, I was told to come to this channel for science! (Hence the name)
Minexew: we know
Minexew: you've been trolled
Da|Mummy: well son of a bitch, it looks like someone is impersonating me on omegle
Minexew: not the first oneComment: I do this with several others, too.
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#306788* (?/49) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Dale: lol, you're cute
Joe: That's what Suzanne keeps telling me.
Dale: Not cute that way, cute like how an autistic kid says that the color purple smells sweet has he bangs his head against a wall over and over and over again
Dale: *as*
Joe: Your typos make your jokes not funnt. |
#306806* (?/29) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
brad why cant we wear our hats inside
brad i would like to wear my hat inside
brad but i cant
brad why?
brad why cant i wear my hood inside?
phobos because you have to put your helmet on
brad i never wear a helmet
hat which is why he's missing the top of his cock
hat looked too much like a helmet
hat this guy is fucking crazy |
#306820* (?/45) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
User_7689 (~rdkcnzcli@protectedhost-DE3BD4FD.hsd1.ca.comcast.net) joined the chat room.
• AtomicBrony licks Marshmelon
• AtomicBrony glomps SillyNilly
User_7689 (~rdkcnzcli@protectedhost-DE3BD4FD.hsd1.ca.comcast.net) left the chat room. (Client exited)Comment: #EquestriaDaily on GeekShed (irc.geekshed.net)
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#306828* (?/29) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* Akefka has joined #demonpop
* ChanServ gives voice to Akefka
<[ka]killer> the urethra and vaginal opening are different things...
* Akefka has quit (Client closed the connection)
<[ka]killer> serves him right joining this channel |
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