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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..334335336337338339340..596Next> |
#305321* (?/31) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<TwoJacks> Yeah you aren't a man until your fucked in the as by a half limb |
#305336* (?/45) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<alice-in-wonderland> ive never been dumped before! this is exciting.Comment: #mugglenet on irc.mugglenet.com
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#305372* (?/59) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Futterman> Hey Alp, remember that really attractive female that liked me?
<Alp> What about her?
<Futterman> I killed her this morning after we had sex..
<Alp> WHAT? WHY?
<Futterman> She told me to finish her off...
<Alp> You have been playing too much Mortal Kombat.
<Futterman> Oh well, at least I found a good ditch to hide the FATALITY.Comment: #Futtz
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#305380* (?/37) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<ccfreak2k> I decided Genuine Knifacode gets a seal.
<ccfreak2k> It will have your head.
<ccfreak2k> and around it is the text
<ccfreak2k> GUARANTEED TO BREAK EVENTUALLY |
#305441* (?/55) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<&mikey> lo m8
<&JayR> shit my hands hurt :'(
<&mikey> evenin all
<&JayR> gd day?
<&mikey> not particularly m8 u
<&JayR> non eventfull
<&JayR> at least til my hands got set alight
<&mikey> lol how th fuk u manage that
<&JayR> nitro fuel
<&JayR> onto bonfire
<&JayR> worked fine
<&mikey> oops
<&JayR> til i put lid on
<&JayR> and attempted to pour down the top hole!
<&JayR> was like BANG
<&JayR> flash
<&JayR> OOOOOOO hands on fire
<&JayR> flappy flappy
<&mikey> lol
<&mikey> nutter
<&JayR> plunged em stright into the icy pond
<&JayR> 20 mins later
<&JayR> fuk me they hurt
<&mikey> i bet
<&JayR> tw@ innit
<&mikey> yup
<Slasher> did anyone video it jay
<&JayR> Fuck Øff
<Slasher> lol
<Slasher> i'd pay for the video
<&mikey> haha
<Slasher> it'd be a hit on youtube
<Slasher> and send to YBF
<&JayR> bitch
<&JayR> £åügHîñg Øüt £öüÐ
<Slasher> must admit i lol'd at flappy flappy
<&JayR> it was the bit b4 that
<Slasher> oooooo me hands on fire
<&JayR> well its pitch black in garden
<&JayR> and nitro fuel kinda glows
<&JayR> with a blue flame
<&JayR> wavin me arms around liek ooooooooooooooooo flamey
<Slasher> they sat SDR
<Slasher> stop
<Slasher> drop
<Slasher> roll
<&JayR> was only me hands
<Slasher> woulda worked
<Slasher> hands by side roll around
<Slasher> but pond works
<Slasher> lol
<&JayR> base/crease of my thumbs are sore as fuk
<Slasher> they will be
<Slasher> might wanna get it looked at m8
<~sha> fml i married a complete twat
<&JayR> no blisterin
<&JayR> just red
<Slasher> lmfao @ sha
<&JayR> and sore
<&JayR> i even took lid off
<Slasher> sha could have been worse
<Slasher> could have been twatney
<&JayR> and put some more in after
<~sha> i just looked up the garden and all i could see was the arms full of fire flapping about
<~sha> he threw the fuel
<~sha> on fucking fire
<&JayR> even im lolin at flappy flappy
<Slasher> llol
<~sha> i was jumping around going omg omg fire brigade or amublance first
<&JayR> wot u expect me to do with it?
<&JayR> cuddle it?
<Slasher> pmsl
<~sha> i'm shouting at him for fuck sakes jay
<~sha> he shouting bac
<~sha> alright alright
<~sha> i'm like wtf
<Slasher> im crying with laughter at the pictures i got
<~sha> then i'm trying to get the dogs in cos mungo was wanting to see what was up with jay
<~sha> i nearly fell over flappy about
<~sha> then
<~sha> he gets this poxy bucket lit
<~sha> lid
<~sha> with a trickle of water on to put the fucking fire out
<~sha> a poxy bucket lid
<&JayR> 2 buckets of water were close by
<&JayR> safety first!
<Slasher> lmfao
<&JayR> not my fault they were frozen solid
<~sha> so i runs in to my daughter
<~sha> and shouts dads on fire
<~sha> she went oh
<~sha> my other daughter shouts really?
<~sha> and they carry on with what they were doing
<~sha> so i ran back out
<&mikey> dads on fire lmfao
<~sha> flapping
<&JayR> Toooo Fucking Funny
<~sha> then i came running in
<Slasher> im bashing this btw
<~sha> then for some stupid reason as jays trying to put the fire out with a trickle of water
<~sha> i text my son
<~sha> dads on fire
<JayR> Fuck Øff slasher
<~sha> put me phone down and carried on flapping
<Slasher> lmao
<~sha> then
<~sha> THENNNNNNNNNNN
<Slasher> he jumps in the pond kisses james bond
<~sha> he picks the fuel up saying ooooooooooo didn't want to do that
<~sha> and poured more fucking bastard fuel on the fucking thing
<~sha> i was like fml jay
<&JayR> yer but then i dint have to pour it down from top coz i took the lid of fire off
<~sha> and i could smell his hair burning from near the back door
<&JayR> fukn minginn that smell
<~sha> he looks like a couple of slabs of belly pork with the hair synged
<~sha> i tell ya
<+zillie> lmao
<Slasher> flappy flappy
<~sha> i didn't know wether to run scream or what
<+zillie> i woulda just lolled
<~sha> he was like a fukn firey bird
<Slasher> a flappy flappy one
<~sha> i'm thinking get on the floor and roll
<&JayR> pmsl
<~sha> but now he starts to brush himself down
<~sha> still on fucking fire
<+zillie> ur gonna need some cold stuff like peas on em
<Slasher> lol
<~sha> he 's burnt to fuck
<~sha> zillie they'd be cooked in 2 seconds faster than any microwave
<Slasher> roast jay for tea tomorrow then
<~sha> Yeah but unlike chicken jay still flaps when you cook himComment: irc.abstract-irc.net #chat
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#305456* (?/21) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<DrtySOUTH> Anyone remember the developer "LJN"?
<DrtySOUTH> Now they were a work of art.
<Indogutsu> Yeah, they made a lot of video games based on comic books.
<YelseyKing> Yeah, I remember them.
<YelseyKing> I recall most of their games, uh, sucking. =P
<Indogutsu> Same here.
<DrtySOUTH> They made Acclaim look like Capcom.
<Terra> LJN: Licensed Junk for Nintendo |
#305506* (?/39) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* | Bugboy1028 is now known as Showering|Bugboy
&resuni | Bugboy1028: do we really need to know when you're showering?
* | jmad980 is now known as jmad980|just-took-a-massive-dump
@Novell_Nazi | .....
* | Novell_Nazi goes to play outside now.... |
#305509* (?/29) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Doc> wouldn't surprise me if there was some sort of life under there, unspoiled by the rest of the world
<%Trebonianus> it's been sealed off for millions of years
<%Trebonianus> I'm sure there's a T.G.I. Friday's down there
<+Loki> Starbucks imo |
#305550* (?/35) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<isaac_mage> Did you guys hear about the kid who went crazy in Forbis's class
<Lefties>What? Are you serious?
<Stoner_Monkey420> Lol
<isaac_mage> Stoner did you hear about it?
<Stoner_Monkey420> No, what happened?
<isaac_mage> Some kid went up to Forbis in the middle of class and asked "Can you hear"
<isaac_mage> and forbis is like "uhh yeah"
<isaac_mage> the kid is like "Can you hear the numbers?" and then he grabs his neck and has a seizure!
<Lefties> HAHA no way
<Stoner_Monkey420> Lol that's awesome
<Lefties> That's the funniest thing I've ever heard! |
#305556* (?/39) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<dd7> for whatever reason
<dd7> he uses icons without text for all his shortcuts
<dd7> "so, what's on your desktop?"
<dd7> "touhou... and some porn." |
#305566* (?/37) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Erasmus`> Do you even know what you're talking about?
<crosbow> yes
<Erasmus`> Oh.
<crosbow> but do you?
<Erasmus`> No, because you miscommunicate everything.
<crosbow> what is miscomunitate? |
#305584* (?/31) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Waffles> I don't have a problem with any fetishes
<mtb8709> i have a problem with fetishes that are illegal and nonconsensual
<mtb8709> like sex with animals
<mtb8709> and sex with children
<Waffles> What if the child wants to have sex?
<Waffles> Also animals can accidentally put your penis in their mouths |
#305594* (?/31) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Jeff_Probst> razer
<Jeff_Probst> hind d fight
<Jeff_Probst> is so fucking easy
<Jeff_Probst> unless you fail at life
<Razer> i haven't played this game in at least 18 months
<Razer> so
<Razer> fuck off :|
<Jeff_Probst> :P
<Jeff_Probst> i havent played it in maybe 3 years?
<Jeff_Probst> guarantee i'd still fuck it up
<Jeff_Probst> it being the hind
<Jesus> 18 months is 3 years, derp.
<Jeff_Probst> ...
<Vanity> Rofl.
<Jeff_Probst> point still stands
<Razer> silver
<Vanity> Silver.
<Jesus> Silver.
<Razer> i didn't know you were THAT bad at math
<Jeff_Probst> WAIT
<Razer> jesus christ, man
<Jesus> wait what the fuck
<Jeff_Probst> NO IT IS NOT THREE YEARS
<Jeff_Probst> ASSHOLE |
#305631* (?/27) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<VIPPER> All toasters toast toast
<Nachlader> no they don't
<bradleigh> i toast toast
<Nachlader> no they don't
<bradleigh> but im not a toaster
<Nachlader> no they don't
<bradleigh> k
<VIPPER> Wait, bradleigh isn't a toaster?
<bradleigh> nope
<VIPPER> She just gained respect points
<Nachlader> she's an oven
<bradleigh> :D
<bradleigh> i'm not an oven either
<VIPPER> I thought she was a household appliance this entire time
<Nachlader> an oven that cooks RAGE
<Nachlader> provoke the oven
<Nachlader> 300 DEGREE CELCIUS RAGE
<bradleigh> ONLY IDIOTS USE CELCIUS
<Moon_Doggy> omg lol
<Nachlader> see
<Nachlader> she raged
<Nachlader> the second i said that |
#305655* (?/27) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
19:05:45 <@Rat_Dot_Exe> andrew don't be a smartass
19:06:01 <@andrew> Rat_Dot_Exe: don't be a dumbass |
#305663* (?/45) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Pieman> I was hiding on top of a sand pillar for the night
<@Pieman> and when it turned day, I looked down
<@Pieman> and apparantly a creeper decided to hang out with me
<@Pieman> <__<
<@Otend> Did you go and say hi?
<@Pieman> no
<@Otend> :<
<@Pieman> I built my tower higher
<@Otend> Come on, he's lonely.
<@Otend> He wants friends.
<@Otend> :<
<@Pieman> he's an aspie though
<@Otend> He's just shy and explodes when he's nervous.
<@Pieman> he doesn't know how to make friends
<@Pieman> he just knows how to talk about one thing
<@Pieman> like all aspies
<@Pieman> explosions
<@Pieman> >_> |
#305665* (?/27) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[Sat 12:16:54 AM] kineticist turns out, if you beseech someone to show you their butthole, they'll eventually say yes
[Sat 12:17:09 AM] hanzs26 enters the room.
[Sat 12:17:28 AM] kineticist hanzs is about to show me his butthole
[Sat 12:17:31 AM] kineticist what did I tell you? |
#305718* (?/33) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
pelican: Jack, gtfo
Jack left the chat room. (Ping timeout: 240 seconds)
MiracleBlue: Looks like he...
• MiracleBlue puts on sunglasses
MiracleBlue: ...Got The Fuck Out
pelican is now known as YEEEAAHHHHHHHH |
#305720* (?/25) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<PJ> I'M BEING ATTACKED BY BREASTS
<Coyo> PJ, I'd be happy if I were you. |
#305742* (?/43) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<HelgeSver> i was having a test at school, some time ago, i am all done and stuff, and save my work and upload it.
<HelgeSver> and go to the desktop, and this bitch of a teacher comes towards me with an angry look on her face
<HelgeSver> "WHAT are you doing! >:C "
<HelgeSver> i told her calmly that it was the desktop and i was done.
<HelgeSver> she did not believe me...
<Sh0rtCut> She recieve a verbal bitch slap in response?
<HelgeSver> yes...yes she did
<HelgeSver> i am considering doing a presentation with "Basic computer knowledge" for the schools teachersComment: #Geekissues @ EFnet
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#305749* (?/51) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+bradleigh> ONE POUND.
<+bradleigh> ONE PAN.
<+bradleigh> ONE TASTY MEAL.
<+Nachlader> EIN VOLK
<+Nachlader> EIN REICH
<+Nachlader> EIN FUHRER
<+bradleigh> english++
<+April87> Sounds better in German :D |
#305755* (?/35) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Charlie: it seems as though a lot of old-school Apple-sters like me are becoming disenchanted with the company and generally losing interest in their products
Sean: thats what happens when something you like is ruined by faggot hipster urban liberal jackassesComment: Makin' the switch to open-source computing.
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#305773* (?/29) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<SoundWizard> for testing purposes just use a bongo drum or something
<~Bangerz> because I have one lying around
<SoundWizard> dont all?
<SoundWizard> what is wrong with you people!
<~Bangerz> knowing you you have a flamethrower next to a microphone set up ready to record fireballs |
#305777* (?/25) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Nazaryn> Or chiggers. Or even worse.. Grues.
* Scyld_Norning lights a torch
<Nazaryn> OH GOD WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
<Nazaryn> You've destroyed their natural habitat
<Scyld_Norning> hmm. /me just realized. Grues are justification for "attacking the darkness"
* Grue (Grue@Nightstar-1b3d4f66.hfc.comcastbusiness.net) has joined #DnD
* Grue arrives, engulfs the denizens, grins, departs elsewhere.
* Grue (Grue@Nightstar-1b3d4f66.hfc.comcastbusiness.net) has left #DnD ("Once you know what it is you want to be true, instinct is a very useful device for enabling you to know that it is") |
#305817* (?/37) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Amandathenext> cosigning coughing codfish, carefully
<Keren> designing delicious dromedaries, dangerously.
<Amandathenext> its too late for rational thought. im dipping into lewis carol territory now >.>
<Keren> Who's gonna do E?
* Veliaries looks to Keren.
<Veliaries> what?
<Keren> Er
<Keren> WAIT |
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