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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..245246247248249250251..596Next> |
#294839* (?/27) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
(slow day in IT)
[IT-me] hey, looks like a slow day
[IT-wanker] yeah, we should have this wrapped up by 10am
[IT-me] what should we do after that?
[IT-wanker] I don't know waht do you want to do?
[IT-me] hmm, I thought I would review some IT utilities online, maybe read a couple SQL articles to review backup techniques
[IT-wanker] (pulls DVD out of his jacket) we could watch this...?
[IT-me] um, no thanks
[IT-wanker] you did last time
[IT-me] yeah, I guess I don't think its the right thing to do at work and the one last time was short anyway and we didn't
take a lunch so...
[IT-wanker] why? you thought it was ok before but now you don't? (sounding very annoyed)
[IT-me] well, I didn't think it was the right thing to do before but I am new here and you're the "boss" so I just went along with what you wanted to do
[IT-wanker] well we work long hours sometimes so when it's slow you have to take advantage of it
[IT-me] um, I don't.
[IT-wanker] you don't have to work hard all the time
[IT-me] no, but I am paid to work and my employer expects me to be working when I'm paid...
[IT-wanker] ...whatever.
[IT-me] (later learns new TSQL backup stuff from SQL article and finds RoboCopy GUI utility)
[IT-wanker] (watches 2 DVDs until it was time to go home) |
#294846* (?/35) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<cshake> ah, our favorite picture of tawnos...
<cshake> ... I think something just exploded in my microwave
<LadyM> he’s got a SEXAH BUM
<Keegan> augh! my eyes! >_<
<LadyM> O.o
<Ferrousknight> <cshake> ah, our favorite picture of tawnos
<Ferrousknight> <cshake> ... I think something just exploded in my pants
<Keegan> lmao
<Ferrousknight> I calls ‘em when I sees ‘em
<cshake> well, either way I now have a bowl of clam chowder
<LadyM> shake-how is your creamy white soup?
<cshake> almost gone now, getting cold though :(
<cshake> the little chewy parts in it are good too
<Ferrousknight> time to refill or you need to wait a half an hour?
<LadyM> ... |
#294850* (?/43) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
[02:02] * Orochi is now known as The_Emperor
[02:02] [The_Emperor:#Twokinds PING]
[02:02] <The_Emperor> The Emperor Pings Back |
#294866* (?/31) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
( +Zyntax ): someone made normal brownie mix
( +Zyntax ): and then a big black chocolate man spooged the purest and most chocolatey chocolate into it
( +Zyntax ): and then baked it
( @FotG ): You think of black men as chocolate....
( @FotG ): interesting |
#294901* (?/43) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@chris> the amount of times
<@chris> ive dropped the soap
<@chris> and thought
<@chris> im so glad im not in jail
<Hawkerz> i wonder if my freebsd partitions ever think that
<Hawkerz> 'shit, i dropped the soap
<Hawkerz> why am i jailed'
<Hawkerz> too bad bash.org sucks cock now
<Hawkerz> or else that quote might be worthy
<Hawkerz> :p
<Kawinma> there's still qdb |
#295010* (?/33) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Antess/Phlintlock: asian trannies on tricycles with cowboy hats
Antess/Phlintlock: we found it on his wmp last played m8
Vicarious: n1
Antess/Phlintlock: ya |
#295035* (?/31) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Swick> A woman built for the media orders a salad and picks at it. A real woman savors her food, she evidences sensuality. Something that's hard to see, but all men pick up on. The same way it's hard to quantify why vinyl sounds so much better than CDs. You just FEEL IT!
<Swick> So there you have it: natural boobs = vinyl / good audio quality, and silicone tits = too-perfect, sterile sound. I couldn't agree more. So where does that leave MP3s? Man-boobs?
<Unhuman> what
<Swick> inorite
<Unhuman> MP3s would be pictures of tits |
#295071* (?/31) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
RADA: im the mailman that fucks everyone
Arch_Laughter: your my mom? |
#295105* (?/33) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<oslat68> en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brand
<oslat68> As a worker inside a brand-name company..
<oslat68> That is the BIGGEST pile of shit ever. |
#295294* (?/29) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
b: invisible how?
me: um
THEY CAN'T SEE ME |
#295346* (?/41) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Hecknotechno> HEY GUYS WHAT'D I MISS
<Arisen> evidently the A key |
#295422* (?/23) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
* Akiros sets mode: +b buddy5002!*@*
<~buddy5002> woah
* buddy5002 is now known as buddy5001
<~Akiros> FK |
#295513* (?/35) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Energizer_Bunny> me?
<Energizer_Bunny> YOU'RE ME?
<Ebola> YES
<Ebola> I AM YOU
<Energizer_Bunny> oh |
#295555* (?/27) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< jedrek> can you hear the sarcasm in my voice now?
< PeanutHorst> i'm sorry, but you're still only nine pixels high.
< PeanutHorst> which is still bigger than your dick is. so meh.
< jedrek> you measure your dick in pixels?
< jedrek> christ
< PeanutHorst> no, yours.
< jedrek> that's just sad
< jedrek> so you measure other dudes' dicks?
< PeanutHorst> i'm working at a base resolution of 96dpi. mine's in the many hundreds of pixels.
< jedrek> at least fondle my balls while you do it
< PeanutHorst> i couldn't find them sorryComment: #PhotoGeeks on irc.freenode.net
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#295560* (?/27) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
weezelkthx: so my ex comes to my place the day before yesterday rite...
jimbo22: and you pulled an angry dragon on her, correct ?
weezelkthx: w8w8 theres more to this...
weezelkthx: her period was almost over so we banged like it's naturally intended - no rubbers...
jimbo22: and your mum walks in on you, no surprise
weezelkthx: no man stfu let me finish
weezelkthx: after im done she leaks out on a couple of napkins cuz i got the load of a horse and throws them in the trash can in my room, along with the tampon she had inside her before that..
jimbo22: im sure thats hot but not when im eating dude...
weezelkthx: later that night my mom walks in and goes like "I SMELL PISS N HERE" and i tell her it's prolly the cat cuz he's in heat... and she goes like "NO HUMAN PISS"
weezelkthx: ...she walks away, I open the window for some fresh air, go to bed..
weezelkthx: next day i come home around noon to find my mother with a weird look on her face telling me "next time when you're doing that kinda stuff throw your shit out the window or something, that thing had started to fester...i could smell it from the living room.. "
weezelkthx: i laffed so hard... but now i'm thinking... what if she thought i had jerked off? obviously she knows I'm getting laid, too, RIGHT?
weezelkthx: ...sux ;(
jimbo22: rofl... if she didnt mention the tampons.. pwnd xD |
#295580* (?/25) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
XXYvso h1! nice site! oxyutelnoComment: XXYvso h1! nice site! oxyutelno
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#295584* (?/27) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
[quote=ThirdKey][18:19] <VAMPIRE> what ya wearing tonight 3rdKey?
[18:19] <ThirdKey|Lappy> 3 gallons of bbq sauce and celery as a hat
[18:20] <ThirdKey|Lappy> would you fuck me? i'd fuck me. i'd fuck me haaaaaaaard
[18:20] * ThirdKey|Lappy tucks balls between legs and raises arms
[18:20] <VAMPIRE> I'd fuck you right into Fred Flinstone's lunchbox dude
[18:20] <ThirdKey|Lappy> i may not be fred flinstone, but i can make your bed rock
[18:20] <VAMPIRE> and let Din watch
[18:20] <VAMPIRE> Dinooooooo
[18:21] <VAMPIRE> I could make your Betty Rubble
[18:21] <VAMPIRE> shit, this is gonna end up in the IRC quotes thread again :o/[/quote] |
#295607* (?/27) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<green blob> i am of polish desent but i live in usa
<Brandon> POLAK
<green blob> whats the big deal? my name is dalton, so what
<Wolfdog> now it explains everything
<Wolfdog> He is .pl of course it all makes sense now
<Brandon> I don't trust anything that borders Germany |
#295790* (?/33) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<klono_> dude implement that shit |
#295845* (?/27) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< zashi> I'm bored. I just shoved an M&M up my nose. Then ate it.
< zashi> I'm 21 and at work.
< nicolas> zashi: tasty ?
<+Ox40> ... eeew
<@benryves> 21 going on 5?
< Damakaru> The fuck?
< nicolas> it's good for his immune system!
* benryves passes Damakaru a "what".
< zashi> you go crazy sitting here reading various web pages
< zashi> wishing your nose could hold more M&Ms |
#295864* (?/35) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Zombies has been permanently removed from this room>
<Zombies has left the room>
<Zombies has entered the room> |
#295899* (?/33) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<LuN4TiK> !Bewbs
<Talkbot> LuN4TiK: Grunting in bushes? |
#296379* (?/31) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@Relik> prove to me god exists
<+TasK3n> prove to me he doesn't
<@Relik> fair enough.
....Later
<@Relik> dude, my giant cyborg ladybug just broke my desk!
<+Task3n> you don't have a pet cyborg ladybug
<@Relik> i'v had one for like 4 years now
<+Task3n> they dont' even exist
<@Relik> prove to me giant cyborg ladybugs don't exist
<+Task3n> i've never seen, heard, felt, tasted, or smelled one
<@Relik> i've never seen, heard, felt, tasted, or smelled god
<+Task3n> you can't see god
<@Relik> you can't see giant cyborg ladybugs either
<+Task3n> i don't see why not
<@Relik> because someone 2000 years ago wrote a book saying you couldn't
Mode #w4ck -v Task3n by Relik
<Task3n> now you're just being a ****
<@Relik> god works in mysterious waysComment: #w4ck
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#296572* (?/35) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Cr4bZ: liek, one time, we went downtown, and like this polish dude from poland is all like "*insert polish here* washingtonstreet" and i was first like :| but then i was like :DComment: lol, my friend Ex-Machina
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#296621* (?/29) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<delsol> Did you hear about the new gentoo release?
<delsol> it sounds pretty awesome...... maybe we'll see a review when someone gets finished compiling it in a few weeks...
<megalulz> Gentoo? More like GenPOO! |
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