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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..170171172173174175176..596Next> |
#303212* (?/24) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Shotgunmerc> you know what also sucks
* duckzorz has joined #ibiteprettyhard-chat |
#303219* (?/26) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<b4> i'll be 9 in december |
#303241* (?/26) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@savant42> FML, I've got Journey's "Don't stop believin'" stuck in my head
<@Innismir> I'll trade you. I'm diagnosing NT4 domains
<@savant42> I'll stick with journeyComment: I wouldn't have traded me either...
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#303270* (?/32) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<iConfused> the term "Godhead" is creepy
<PrincessSiski> iConfused: sounds like the tip of my penis |
#303276* (?/18) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<imask8r89>: He looks like a fag in that picture...
<xCrosseyesx>: No Josh, fags look like him in that picture.Comment: On Eminem's iTunes feature picture
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#303278* (?/28) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Jck_true: Something went horribly wrong with my shaving
CaptainKirk: …
Jck_true: I got red marks all over
Jck_true: Anybody know what todo about it
courpse: Dont shave pubes in future?
CaptainKirk: 
Jck_true: courpse: Not an option
Jck_true: And how did you know?
courpse: Humm.
CaptainKirk: Um
courpse: Im all out of ideas now.Comment: FreeNode / ##Hi_Jack_This ( irc://irc.freenode.net/##hi_jack_this | irc://irc.ipv6.freenode.net/##hi_jack_this )
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#303291* (?/30) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<jcp> IT'S A FREAKING BOT YOU MORMONS |
#303298* (?/26) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
RudyValencia: I'm broke and starving -__
RudyValencia: * 
RudyValencia: There's a box of circa-1995 Betty Crocker Suddenly Salad pasta salad mix in my cupboard.
ImaLamer: me too!
RudyValencia: ImaLamer: You also have a circa-1995 box of Betty Crocker Suddenly Salad pasta salad mix in your cupboard?
ImaLamer: no, broke and starving
RudyValencia: oh
RudyValencia: I was gonna say
ImaLamer: haha i wish
ImaLamer: i have peanut butter
RudyValencia: what do I do?
CaptainKirk: RudyValencia: Sell the computer
RudyValencia: but then I'll be bored.
RudyValencia: besides it's Dad's.
CaptainKirk: Well
RudyValencia: Mom and Dad are broke too.
CaptainKirk: http:/​/​vark.com/​ << post your question here
evilmquin!~mquin@freenode/staff/mquin left the room. (Ping timeout: 612 seconds)
CaptainKirk: And hope
RudyValencia: I've got some $2 bills (three regular ones and a red one) in a lockbox
RudyValencia: I would hate to spend them but looks like I may have to
RudyValencia: if only to avoid eating 15-year-old pasta salad 
CaptainKirk: RudyValencia:
CaptainKirk: I linked you to Aardvark
CaptainKirk: Go there
CaptainKirk: Make an account or sign in with FB
CaptainKirk: And ask what to do
RudyValencia: You think someone will give me money that way?
CaptainKirk:  lol no
CaptainKirk: RudyValencia: There's a box of circa-1995 Betty Crocker Suddenly Salad pasta salad mix in my cupboard.
CaptainKirk: RudyValencia: what do i do
CaptainKirk: O to Aardvark and ask that ^
RudyValencia: I've asked it...
RudyValencia: "I'm looking for someone now to answer your question about betty crocker… You'll get an email or IM when I find an answer."
CaptainKirk: Hit edit
CaptainKirk: Change Betty croket to money
CaptainKirk: And wait
RudyValencia: "(From Nick K./26/M/London,UK, Re: **Betty Crocker**)
RudyValencia: Eat the cardboard because that mix is probably stale"
CaptainKirk: …
RudyValencia: done
CaptainKirk: …
CaptainKirk: WhatComment: FreeNode / ##Hi_Jack_This ( irc://irc.freenode.net/##hi_jack_this | irc://irc.ipv6.freenode.net/##hi_jack_this )
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#303318* (?/20) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
coolball: I bet Hillary Clinton would crack down on drug abuse
r1x1us left the chat room. (Ping timeout: 264 seconds)
prophile joined the chat room.
prophile was granted voice by urd.
coolball: which I would like to see after pot is legal
You have returned from away.
Computer: does the availability of street drugs make useless people any more useless?
coolball: It bothers me that foreigners are getting rich cuz americans cant buy put legally
coolball: pot
Vicissitude: pot shouldn't be legal.
W-Man: Wallpaper lovers can join my channel
Computer: Vicissitude: explain
Vicissitude: it takes money away from poor tobacco companies!
coolball: I don't claim to know all about pot
Computer: Vicissitude: how so?!
Vicissitude: people pay tons of money for weed and they stop smoking tobacco. this makes tobacco products cost more and ruins the economy.
Computer: youre assuming that they will stop smoking tobacco because they can smoke weed instead?
Computer: do you know many people who smoke weed?
Vicissitude: no, because they won't be able to afford both
Computer: or are you trolling
Computer: because i can live with that
CaptainKirk|Mac: This is going straight onto QDB
Vicissitude: I won't answer that question because the feds may be watching me and my grow operationsComment: FreeNode / #defocus ( irc://irc.freenode.net/#defocus | irc://irc.ipv6.freenode.net/#defocus )
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#303331* (?/32) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<sunjester> maybe the next time you affiliate with a website make sure your site isn't infested with noobs.
<sunjester> yes, I am currently running my irc spam bot on your gay ass server. |
#303346* (?/28) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Syniphas> duck quales
<null1024> quck duales
<Syniphas> dual duck
<Syniphas> system
<Syniphas> ...game
<Syniphas> dual duck game system
<Syniphas> it's like the ds
<Syniphas> but it's a duck
<Syniphas> and the screens
<Syniphas> it's a duck
<Syniphas> and like the buttons
<Syniphas> they're like
<Syniphas> it's a duck
<null1024> so, it's a duck?
<Syniphas> it's a what no are you silly
<Syniphas> it's like a ds
<null1024> but we can use the power of SCIENCE
<null1024> to make a duck like a ds
<Syniphas> dude
<Syniphas> that's the stupidest idea you've ever had
<Syniphas> fuck you
<null1024> -_-
* null1024 goes back to making ear rape
* Syniphas goes back what the fuck do i do on a saturday
<null1024> sleep? fap? kill people? ALL THREE AT THE SAME TIME?
<Syniphas> oh god
<Syniphas> murderous somnambule masturbation |
#303369* (?/26) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
I throw my hands up in the air sometimes
Sayin' AYYY-YOOO
This song just BLOWS-O |
#303408* (?/22) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
LebronMakesMeSad: I think Drew Carey is the only guy who could make me laugh about this right now.
PittsburghFan: I am programmed to not like Cleveland.
LebronMakesMeSad: Mine is an error in programming that does not allow me to de-select Cleveland as a fan.
PittsburghFan: Ouch sorry to hear that
LebronMakesMeSad: Indians loast 5-2 last night. Their record is now 33-52
PittsburghFan: We are only 30 and 55
LebronMakesMeSad: Being a cleveland supporter isnt so bad.
LebronMakesMeSad: The last time I think i could have changed city allegiance would have been 1999. Since then the Browns have won 33% of the time. The Cavs and Tribe have won 51%.
PittsburghFan: Browns beat the Steelers last year.
LebronMakesMeSad: There is alot to like about the Browns
LebronMakesMeSad: Our defensive line is made up of strict constitutionalists who support the 2nd amendment and our QBs can keep their hands to themselves.
PittsburghFan: Jake Delhomme will throw an INT to the Dolphins so Miami can take something else away from Cleveland.
LebronMakesMeSad: hahaha
LebronMakesMeSad: That was a good one. You and Drew Carey.
PittsburghFan: Told you I am programmed to dislike Cleveland. |
#303417* (?/36) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
afsdfadsfadsfasdafdfadsfdfdafsdf |
#303445* (?/52) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
*** Akensai was kicked by mecha (mecha)
<[JAPS]>: Akensai Says: IMA CHARGIN MY LAZER
mecha has quit IRC (Killed (Akensai (LAZER FIRED)))
Akensai has joined #japs
<Akensai>: Bitches don't know about my lazer.Comment: irc.japsclan.com #japs
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#303452* (?/52) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Pyro> I LOVE YOU MIKEY
<~Mikey> ...........
<~Mikey> ............
<~Mikey> .........
You have been kicked from #thelibrary by Mikey [Mikey@wh0is.me]: >:(
Mikey [Mikey@wh0is.me] has joined #thelibrary
<@Pyro> haha
<@Pyro> You're my hero, Mikey
<~Mikey> THAT WAS THE WRONG ONE
<~Mikey> wait
<~Mikey> so /kill Pyro actually kicks me?
You have been kicked from #thelibrary by Mikey [Mikey@wh0is.me]: >:(
Mikey [Mikey@wh0is.me] has joined #thelibrary
<~Mikey> woah
<@Pyro> does it really?
<%buttbot> does it butt?
<~Mikey> dude i'm typing /kill Pyro
You have been kicked from #thelibrary by Mikey [Mikey@wh0is.me]: >:(
Mikey [Mikey@wh0is.me] has joined #thelibrary
Pyro [Chris@nytescape.com] has quit IRC: [irc.vbirc.org] Local kill by Pyro (what.)
<~Mikey> HAHAHAHAHA
<~Mikey> HAHAHAHAH
<~Mikey> HAHAHAH
<~Mikey> rofl
<~Chroder> rofl
Pyro [Chris@vbirc-38F278B8.cinci.res.rr.com] has joined #thelibrary
<~Mikey> hahahaha
<~Mikey> hahaha
<~Chroder> Mikey win
<~Mikey> HAHAHA
<~Mikey> you got punk'd bitch
<~Chroder> epic win
Tux [root@shell.localhost] has set mode +o PyroComment: irc.vbirc.com - #thelibrary
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#303463* (?/26) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
%trubtar: lol, alright an easier one.. why can't two chinese couples make a white baby ?
%trubtar: because 2 wongs dont make a white
@Akensai: white rice is too sticky, it would be impossible for the baby to
@Akensai: MOTHER
@Akensai: LET ME ANSWER
%trubtar: lmao
@Akensai: white rice is too sticky, it would be impossible for the baby to be born as well as grow inside the womb, it would be such a sticky mess that the chinese women would just squirt a giant counter bukkake.Comment: irc.japsclan.com #japs
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#303596* (?/22) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Juggz> This weekend is my friends 18 birthday
<@Juggz> Theres this field next to his dads house that they are clearing out for it
<@_BoSS> you gonna kill him there
<@_BoSS> cut him up
<@_BoSS> spread the parts
<@Juggz> there's going to be a live band, a keg, and plenty of other alcohol and drugs
<@Juggz> gonna be epic
<@_BoSS> epicly boringComment: #partyserver on irc.tl
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#303643* (?/26) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Shadowplay: the old woman is financially secure..will pay 100 bucks more for the master bedroom and will take care of all her own stuff and seems very reliable
Bill Clinton: I bet she will
UnseenK ([k]): shadow, but she's old...that's kinda weird dude
Shadowplay: the japanese chick can only pay 40 bucks less of her half and doesnt seem as reliable
Bill Clinton: but is more bangable?
Truthiness: convince her to smoke outside or something
Win Laik Pya: this IS a delemna
Shadowplay: im not here to fuck chicks, im here to have a roof over my head in 7 days
Truthiness: ^ wrong
Bill Clinton: oh
Win Laik Pya: ^^false
UnseenK ([k]): PLAY YOUR CARDS RIGHT
UnseenK ([k]): AND YOU CAN HAVE A ROOF AND BANG A HOT ASIAN
Shadowplay: i did that for ten years
Bill Clinton: pwnd
S.Tiger: Banged a hot asian?
Shadowplay: didnt turn out so well
Shadowplay: yes
S.Tiger: Oh.
Shadowplay: my current "roommate"
Bill Clinton: pics or it didnt happen
S.Tiger: Dude, you activated her trap card.
S.Tiger: That's why.
UnseenK ([k]): it's hard enough to find an asian, let alone bang her for 10 years
Bill Clinton lost it
Win Laik Pya: i love how
Shadowplay: its not hard to find an asian in california
Bill Clinton: thanks Tigre
Win Laik Pya: they always act surprised
UnseenK ([k]): oh, true that shadow
Bill Clinton: thanks a lot
Win Laik Pya: when they activate trap cards
Mr. Bubbles: ;o
Shadowplay: just one who isnt a whorebag
Win Laik Pya: like it doesn't happen every fucking game
Mr. Bubbles: rofl
Win Laik Pya: go with the cougar
Win Laik Pya: bang her anyway
Bill Clinton: ^^^^^^^^^^^^Comment: Kotakuites Steam chat
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#303724* (?/24) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Kannon> and I was looking at his ass |
#303776* (?/26) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
--> Linkshot (hurrrrrrrr@CPE001346ac69d9-CM000a739c0976.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com) has joined #GlobalGamers
* Linkshot thumps
<Linkshot> I'm in need of some general mIRC scripting help.
<CWolf> o/
<Linkshot> You offering to help me out? :O
<CWolf> I'll trade you the knowledge
<CWolf> for Zelda
<CWolf> :3
<Linkshot> You'll have to talk to Nayru for her :V
<CWolf> :-o
<Linkshot> Anyway it's moreso that something is outputting twice when it should only be doing so once.
<CWolf> I don't know mIRC scripting very well sorryComment: #GlobalGamers irc.utchat.com
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#303830* (?/28) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<altoid> [link to Jalopnik article]
<tetsuo> altoid: cage!
-!- tetsuo [~user@unaffiliated/tetsuo] has quit [Quit: cage rage] |
#303844* (?/34) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Kalun Baneseeker: !!!!!!! KAMELOTS NEW ALBUM COMES OUT THE SAME DAY AS HALO REACH
Psi: lol
so i take it you'll be reaching it up with kamelot
Kalun Baneseeker: lmao
Psi: (get it? it's simultaneously a halo and masterbation joke)
Kalun Baneseeker: yeah i got it...
Psi: i bet you did
Kalun Baneseeker: wait, masterbation joke? i didnt get the masterbation joke
Psi: 'reaching it up'
Kalun Baneseeker: what am i reaching for
Psi: penis
Kalun Baneseeker: ohhhhh |
#303883* (?/28) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+Mistakes> You walk into a darkened room. Just as you go for the light
switch, I turn them on and cast ingrav. Lost as to why I
casted said spell, I walk toward you, saying "This will be a
fun game." The crack of my ingrav cuts the air, and you fall
to a heap.
<+Mistakes> "Game is over," i say.
<+Mistakes> read the first word of each sentenceComment: I lost the game
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#303923* (?/26) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<GSlicer> A virtual box? You mean like a fake vagina?
<fivre> it's pretty hard to install OS X on a vagina
<CHz> Hot.
<fivre> linux, on the other hand
<fivre> I installed linux2.4 on CHz's vagina back in the day
<fusion2004> back when you had to jam a whole 3.5" floppy in there, eh?
<fivre> had to hack together the compiler from something designed to run on fleshlights myself
<robsteele> i found more success with the 5.25 |
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