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#232968 (255/457) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Trinexx> I had a hard drive that was rattling like hell once. Me, being stupid with hardware at the time, unscrewed it and booted the computer
<Trinexx> the drive lept out of the drive bay and bounced around in the case.
<Trinexx> Needless to say, I ended up replacing more than just the hard drive -_- |
#83676 (255/423) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Ahabman> When I was at purdue, I was wearing my uniform to go to a lecture I was giving.
<Ahabman> Some girl called me a "baby killer"
<Ahabman> I stopped and said "lady, I'm in the Coast Guard. I don't kill babies. I kill baby seals." |
#81483 (255/591) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Trinexx> I DONT GIVE A FUCK WHAT YOU WERE TRYING TO DO!
<Trinexx> If I catch you with your dick in my vaccuum cleaner one more time, I'm gonna kick the shit out of you. Are we clear? |
#73453 (255/439) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<KefkaIIV> I had a dream that you could put Javascript in C++, and I made a code that had a bunch of pop-ups.
<blank> You became a Mozilla developer in your sleep. |
#56737 (255/399) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
dansSUCHaniceguy: Dude, you ever do something and you just know it's wrong?
dansSUCHaniceguy: The whole time you're telling yourself, This is WRONG
dansSUCHaniceguy: Just going through with it, doubt and guilt eating away at you but you do it anyway
gravybythepint: dammit did you fuck kyle's girlfriend
dansSUCHaniceguy: Get your mind out of the gutter
dansSUCHaniceguy: I drank the last of the orange juice |
#50251 (254/450) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Evil_Timmy> wow, just realized that the last couple of people ive slept with have been people i met on irc
<Evil_Timmy> i'm a netrosexual |
#37257 (255/347) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<ProdigySim> We should have had him bring a TV back from Japan
<ProdigySim> so we could pirate Japanese TV shows!
<Juggerneko> Did you have the stupid for supper, or was it just an appetizer? |
#33754 (255/399) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<phoxxy> i was on the phone with a company for my business that was in Tennesee. the guy was trying to tell me information over the phone. i aksed if they had a website and he goes "Well, I didn't offer to give you our website information because I didn't think you had internet in Indiana."
* phoxxy was like WTF!?
* phoxxy has a T1 in her home mother fucker
<Puchu> indiana has no internet
<GorgeousOrifice> Indiana's all backwards and shit
<phoxxy> when I told the guy I had a T1 at home, he goes "Is that like dial-up?"Comment: logged on #fark
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#26380 (255/437) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(Anon) I want to be a concert promoter...
(Anon) and sign Dave Matthews Band, The Strokes, and Tool for the same show...
(Anon) and bill them in that order
(GiantRobot) yeah, because those three obviously have such similar fans...
(Anon) No no
(Anon) I just want the ticket stub
(Anon) Dave Matthews Band Strokes Tool |
#14582 (255/397) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@dos622> apple told his parents he was gay
<@dos622> so he could go on a overnight type trip with a girl |
#1565 (255/388) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<metroid23> i ask for whole milk and people look at me like i wanna suck it right off the cow or something |
#307624 (254/338) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Jargon> We don't HAVE BEer pong here in Belgium
<Jargon> The idea that you can somehow "Win" at drinking is purely an American thing
<Quantum_Meddler> So you don't have drinking games there?
<Jargon> no
<Jargon> well
<Jargon> actually yes
<Jargon> there is one
<Jargon> You may have heard of it
<Jargon> It's called "going out and getting laid" |
#246997 (254/414) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Annie> Vagina ^_^
*Annie (~Annie@Annie.Annie) has left #plott
<Golvmopp> o.o
<Golvmopp> A GIRL WAS HERE
<Golvmopp> A GIRL WAS HERE
<Some> What is a girl? :o
<Golvmopp> I read about them in a magazine
<Golvmopp> They are like us, but they like horses.Comment: #plott on Rizon
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#229169 (254/540) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< BlueWeasel> man
< BlueWeasel> first hurricane ike
< BlueWeasel> now a report about Windows 7 Beta coming
< BlueWeasel> the disasters just don't stop |
#59035 (254/450) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+withnail> just because i'm unemployed, have long hair and sit about all day smoking weed doesn't make me a hippy |
#59017 (254/414) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<mackattack> why do church organizations have telemarketers? I feel bad hangin up on them like I am sinning or something
<mackattack> the worst part is they usually call when I am watching porn |
#56811 (254/378) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<forkup> yo
<forkup> i'm off to jail for a day or so, bbl |
#56716 (254/470) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<akatarli> omg, last night, we were waiting for the bus (it was like 7)
<akatarli> this group of guys, like in their 40's walk by
<akatarli> one of the stops in front of me and goes "Oh man, those are fantastic!" and walks on
<akatarli> at first I had no idea what he was talking about
<akatarli> I was like "what the hell, was he... OMG HE'S TALKING ABOUT MY BOOBS!!!"
<akatarli> it was a very emotionally traumatizing experience.
<demnted_squirell> did you slap him?
<akatarli> by the time i realized what he was talking about, he was gone.
<demnted_squirell> bummer
<demnted_squirell> well did you learn anything from this?
<akatarli> ya
<akatarli> tank top + Bourbon St. + Rain = VERY BAD IDEA
<akatarli> :'-(Comment: Bourbon St. in New Orleans, LA
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#47730 (254/476) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(@Amnizu) SPECIAL
(@Amnizu) back me up
(@Special) tar cfz amnizu.tar.gz -C amnizu/ && mv amnizu.tar.gz /backupsComment: irc.zirc.org #ZiRC
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#40668 (254/372) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<iSharQ> Apparently, my friend texted "I want to kick your shaven puppy" to his girlfriend.
<iSharQ> The wonders of T9 predictive text. |
#35377 (254/434) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Freefall> http://www.strategypage.com/dls/articles/2004418.asp <-- the definition of oxymoron. Replacing the engines on NUCLEAR missle in order to make them more 'environmently friendly'. |
#33363 (254/456) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< solerad> oh man
< solerad> my adopted brother
< solerad> had a wet dream that involved my mother :/
< solerad> i wouldn't have known except that
< Supacabra> yikes
< solerad> he told his ENTIRE SCHOOL
< Supacabra> double yikes |
#33272 (254/444) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[@Alexia]There should be a sticker at the bottom left of America saying, "Made in China" |
#30634 (254/498) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* Marine|CH is god
<ih4x`variant[iHi]> you spelled gay wrong |
#27917 (254/430) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<azathoth> why can't alyssa milano live next door to me, be lonely and need the satisfaction and fullfillment that only a 20 year old computer programmer can provide...
* azathoth shakes his fist at god and goes back to his debugging |
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