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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..9596979899100101..596Next> |
#215554 (258/574) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
conquistador: seriously i think i've seen atleast 25% of all the amateur lesbian porn in the world in the past 48hrs
conquistador: my dick isn't even chaffing anymore and if i robbed a bank they wouldn't get any prints |
#80132 (258/506) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<wingnuts> ...
<wingnuts> buddy of mine had an order for a custom "rack".. the one that holds servers and shit
<wingnuts> which is odd, cause he fabricates aluminum shit...
<wingnuts> but they wanted all this heatpipe shit for all the comps
<wingnuts> and he was like "That's nice, but where does the heat go?", and the client points to this massive chunk of metal in the center of the rack with a little flap on it
<wingnuts> and says "That's where the pizza box goes. All the heat from the servers are focused on that. No pizza means the system overheats, so you gotta keep putting fresh boxes in there to absorb the radiant energy".
<wingnuts> :|
<wingnuts> Pizza powered network. |
#66457 (258/394) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<HK> You mean all my unsanitary places?
<Thor> where the sun don't shine
<HK> I wonder how a nudist would react to that phrase
<Thor> there are still some places were the sun don't shine
<Thor> even when nude ;]
<HK> What if they practiced yoga?
<Thor> thanks for that mental image |
#54623 (258/456) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<maverick> I hate you leo, go fuck yourself.
<leo> Dont tell me what the fuck to do
<leo> Your not my fucking mom
<maverick> uhh, yeah i am..
<leo> ??????
<maverick> oh, i thought you said "your not fucking my mom".. |
#50433 (258/420) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
< TMH-> DEAR MOTHERFUCKING KDE DEVELOPERS
< TMH-> HEY I'VE GOT A CRAZY IDEA FOR YOU
< TMH-> WHEN I SET A FILE ASSOCIATION LIKE MPLAYER OPENS AVI FILES
< TMH-> IT MIGHT MEAN THAT I WANT MPLAYER TO OPEN AVI FILES
< TMH-> LOVE,
< TMH-> TMH
<+swight1> what a concept
<ducklord> you're crazy |
#30348 (258/456) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
* Icy-mu cackles
<Icy-mu> i have discovered why we have halloween
<Icy-mu> its cause vampires like blood
<Icy-mu> and cant eat candy
<+Hamster_Of_Death> and candy companies like money
<Icy-mu> so they get all the childern to go get free candy
<Icy-mu> then the vampires suck the sugar blood outta the childern
<Icy-mu> those fiends
<+r3d3> you know at first that theory sounded like it was going to be stupid, but now it makes sense |
#29806 (258/460) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Kevlor> I finally found out where ugly people come from.
<Jaayy> Where?
<Kevlor> Ugly babies.
<Jaayy> And where do Ugly babies come from?
<Kevlor> Ugly people.
<Jaayy> You realize you're a dumbass right? |
#26246 (258/408) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<D4NG3R0U5> one time, in my science class, i had this dream...
<daenonok> dude you slept in class?
<D4NG3R0U5> in which my girlfriend (who sat a few seats away) got up, and, on her way over to me took off her top, then got on her knees and unzipped my pants
<D4NG3R0U5> yeah i slept in class, sometimes (when i decided it was time for my medication)
<D4NG3R0U5> and, bc the night before she gave me head irl, the dream was really vivid...woke up, everyone was lookin at me...
<D4NG3R0U5> then the teacher went back on talkin, and everyone turned back around...that haunts me |
#22200 (259/415) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Big_Mike> I hate Celine Dion. So much I refuse to spell her name correctly.
<TheMan649> you did spell her name correctly.
<Big_Mike> Did i?
<TheMan649> Yes.
<Big_Mike> Shit. |
#19716 (259/401) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Rendezvou> I want a monkey at home that jerks off and throws shit at people when I host parties at my house.
<`KArmA> Rendezvou: to take the strain off of having you do it? |
#11696 (258/438) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Temujin> Will Ferral is cool.
<SpecOps> Ferrel, dumass.
<horsefly> dumbass, dumbass |
#3868 (258/419) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Wodan> hi wich langage do u spieak?
<moonsee> heh
<moonsee> apparently not yours |
#2222 (257/406) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Turing_> this is going to sound very gay, but we were watching the discovery channel today at work where there were these sort of african olympics in a tribe when a male reaches mating age
<Turing_> anyways...the guy had to be nude and do this relay on a balance beem to appease some god
<kunio> HAW
<Turing_> it was strange because even flacid he had a penis the size of the empire state building
<orestes--> gah
<dab[afk]> ugh
<Turing_> it was mesmorizing, my secretary kept in rythym to its bobbing
<Turing_> lol
<Turing_> I felt terribly inadequate
<Turing_> I hate the discovery channel |
#1048 (258/435) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<DooD> <31hp 102m 60mv> You start fighting A mouse.
<DooD> A mouse ducks to the ground, narrowly avoiding your strike!
<DooD> A mouse skillfully dodges your assault.
<DooD> A mouse is in excellent condition.
<DooD> <31hp 102m 60mv>
<DooD> A mouse strikes you with terminal brutality!
<DooD> You are stunned, but will probably recover.
<DooD> wtf was that
<timmo> well
<timmo> a mouse whooped your ass |
#143 (258/589) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<`BuM> why is it that, no matter how much you pee into the toilet it never fills up? |
#297744 (257/369) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<nutkase> i need to schedule an eye exam
<nutkase> with a different doctor who wont cuss me out and tell me i need ritalin
<hateful> lol, did you jump when he was putting in the drops?
<nutkase> no
<nutkase> but when he was asking me which one was better number 1 or number 2 i was like how come there numbered and i only get 2 options
<nutkase> and then he was telling me to read the lines, and he had the radio on in the background and i was asking him to turn it up cause i liked that song
<nutkase> finally he said god damn it can you pay attention so we can get this over with and i responded with sorry i wasnt paying attention
<hateful> lol
<nutkase> and he proceeded to tell me i needed ritalin |
#295456 (256/468) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
Note: he was on AIM on his phone
dr4yn30: AAAAAAAAAAAHH
dr4yn30: I HAVE T9
dr4yn30: HATE*
dr4yn30: I WAS TELLING SOMEONE I LOVED THEIR APP
dr4yn30: FOR A GAME
dr4yn30: AND T9 MADE IT SAY ''I love your ass''
dr4yn30: FFFFFFFFFFFFF |
#154728 (257/333) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Fox> I did a job in a house completely totaled by katrina today
<Fox> everything was ruined, destroyed, broken, except one thing
<Fox> a goku figurine |
#73996 (257/601) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Glock_> so i'm looking for porn
<Glock_> and i see VIRGIN LAURA PART 1
<Glock_> and then VIRGIN LAURA PART 2 |
#69122 (257/405) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
< |xanth|> I'm just that random guy who hangs around to make you feel better about yourself
< |xanth|> you know, the ugly fat friend people have
< |xanth|> except i'm not fat or ugly, I just have 56kComment: #apathbeyond
|
#53079 (257/393) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Mace> ROFL
<Mace> Best day EVER at work
<Mace> Because of the sheer amount of people that send stuff during the holidays (I work at a UPS Store)
<Mace> The owner of the store I work at set the answering machine to say that we were too busy to give out estimates, track packages, etc.
<Mace> And he said to call the UPS 1-800 number (1-800-742-5877)
<Mace> But he was tired, and said 1-800-4877
<Mace> Normally a wrong number isn't a problem, right? Just a different business
<Mace> Later in the afternoon we get a call from UPS
<Mace> Turns out, 1-800-742-4877 is a sex hot line
<Mace> Some people got more than they bargained for with holiday shipping... |
#51083 (257/423) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
legames: you know what pisses me off the most?
dackattac: Goats that kick you when you finger their asshole?
dackattac: Er
dackattac: What?
legames: There wouldn't even be a market for the iMic if Apple just had headphone jacks like everyone else
legames: also the goat thing |
#46095 (257/429) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<xkcd> okay, I've got a 6GB partition free, I'm gonna put in a FreeBSD disk and boot and see if I can install. Anyone have any advice?
<Socket7> have you made a will yet?
<-- xkcd has quit (wish me luck)
[30 minutes pass]
--> xkcd_ (xkcd@hide-BF9D384C.centrl01.va.comcast.net) has joined #pugglewump
<xkcd> let us never speak of this 'FreeBSD incident' again. |
#38690 (257/383) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Cynic> wtf...
<Cynic> My mouse just turned off
<Cynic> WHAT THE HELL
<Cynic> HAHAHA
<Cynic> Tooltip: One of the USB devices connected to your system has malfunctioned. CLICK THIS DIALOG BOX for information on how to solve this problem.
<Cynic> <3 Windows XP |
#35111 (256/540) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<TLA-Sammybeany> My step-dad told me a story today that cracked me up . . .
<TLA-Sammybeany> We had some of the Shake 'N Bake chicken stuff the other night for dinner . . . apparently he took the leftovers to work for lunch . . .
<TLA-Sammybeany> One of his co-workers, who happens to be black, walked up to him and was like "Damn, yo! You bring fried chicken to work and you don't give me any? What's up wit' dat'?!"
<TLA-Sammybeany> So my step dad said "oh, well, it's only that Shake 'N Bake stuff. It's nothing special." The black dude was like "It's about to be Shake 'N Take if you don't start sharing, man! I'm gonna' shake you until you drop the chicken, then I'll take it!" |
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