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#19081 (250/426) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Grue> I say we seperate the country into two parts. The people with brains, and the people sans brains.
<Grue> That way, although the idiot nation will be bigger, we'll be more intelligent and progress, while their regress.
<Grue> The world will hate them, while the world will praise the smart nation. :p
<Grue> \o/
<mike> yah, but i don't want to leave the country to get a burger |
#10798 (251/468) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Sparky> My new years resolution is 1280x1024. |
#8222 (251/452) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<okoshun> The cat's have the right idea..lying on the cool tiles in the dark.
<max> That
<max> Of course they have the right idea. Cat's are perfect.
<max> Or so they like to believe :)
<okoshun> The *are* perfect. ;)
<max> Then explain why the hell the cat fell off my desk yesterday?
<max> You know how I have a corner desk?
<okoshun> A gravitational flaw.
<max> he was lying on his back, and rolled over to stand up
<max> And managed to put his front paw in the empty space in the corner between the two segments
<max> So he put his weight on it to get up, and fell down
<okoshun> max: He did that on purpose.
<max> It was funny as hell.
<okoshun> max: He knew you needed a laugh.
<max> he looked mortified. He left shortly after.
<okoshun> You're just projecting your feelings onto the cat. ;) |
#300759 (250/354) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
tfpen: kind of ironic that a "full service ad agency" outsources their site
tfpen: unless this is your employer...
nomercy: my entire career is doing websites for people who say they do websites |
#300741 (250/400) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<adimarco> it amuses me that, even when eating treats, cats just instinctively know to rapidly shake their head back and forth a few times to make sure the spine is broken.
<zinger> i do the same with donuts |
#73493 (250/492) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<lypanov> dvi ports are female... right?
<JimPanic> ..eh...I don't want to know why you're asking this question. |
#63011 (249/385) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<mikeash> ok, look, if there's a specific problem that prompted you to come in here
<mikeash> then you should actually *ask about your specific problem*
<mikeash> asking us extreme generalities when you have a specific issue at hand just frustrates people
<mikeash> it's like going up to a construction site, asking all the workers there, "how do I build a house?" and then once they've given you a bunch of advice you reveal that your circular saw is broken and you're wondering how to fix it |
#52087 (250/446) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@ALGORYTHM> got my road tax
<@ALGORYTHM> some sikh guy and his gf in the post office hate me now
<@ALGORYTHM> they started off, very long queue btw
<@ALGORYTHM> talking about the hair on his back :/
<@ALGORYTHM> bleh and i had to stand there and listen
<@ALGORYTHM> then they started talking about lost and wondering who dies in series two
<@ALGORYTHM> so i told them and they're like wtf
<+McFly> lol
<@ALGORYTHM> i said, i didn't want to know about the hair on your back and you didn't want to know about the spoiler
<@ALGORYTHM> so i think we're evenComment: still on season 1 in the uk
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#49356 (250/426) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
RrR00Tt: ur makin him a computer?
RasmusMelanie: yah
RasmusMelanie: he broke my heart and left me dead and depressed....so im returning the favor...im installing windows 98 as we speak |
#37927 (250/390) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
quad341: Give a man a fish and you can feed him for a day, give him a religion and he'll starve to death praying for a fish. |
#35793 (250/372) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<EmenEm> i was in the bathroom this morning shaving when the whole apartment building started shaking
<EmenEm> and i'm like "WTF EARTHQUAKE" and i ran outside in my bathrobe and i'm bleeding because my razor went into my face when it started shaking
<EmenEm> when i got outside there was a car sitting in the tennis court the car was busted up and some nice damage to the building
<EmenEm> a cool story right there, but get this
<EmenEm> this guy gets out of his car with half of his face covered in shaving cream - him and i exchanged this weird glance because blood was flowing down our faces
<EmenEm> fucking weird shit |
#30421 (250/422) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<lav> what the fuck
<lav> i downloaded bowling for columbine from kazaa and it's austin powers with chinese subtitles |
#19210 (251/403) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<kow> I went to laser quest today
<kow> and some kid goes
<kow> how do you turn the auto aim on? |
#16475 (250/402) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Logan> I have to say that sex ruined pornography for me. I discovered that women don't scream, "Fuck me you big-cocked cowboy!" when you touch their elbow. |
#14214 (250/456) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Ryan> my mom was killed by mobile phones
<mal> she has only herself to blame
<Ryan> no really, she was using it in a storm
<mal> and?
<Ryan> lightening
<mal> then what?
<Ryan> mobile phone truck ran her over |
#13923 (250/406) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<djamok> wb justin
<JFlex> wb yourself, mother fucker.
<JFlex> Oh, welcome back, I get it. |
#341 (250/488) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Felon> What is a leet? Is that a type of ferret? |
#301846 (249/437) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<blast007> I just think of me being single as doing two things to benefit the world: I'm helping control the population, and I'm putting a lawyer out of work. |
#297721 (249/427) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Artifice> Whoever reminded me of bash.org: Fuck you, I just wasted 2 hours, and I'm not done yet |
#60271 (249/443) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Ted> Ooh ooh! My cache has my credit card number it. Now I don't have to pull out my wallet. Thank you, Internet
<RayTracer> Now is that a bug or a feature?
<Ted> There's no privacy on the net anyway, so it defaults to a feature |
#59529 (249/463) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ArchPlan> I'm expecting an onslaught of malware to my company's network this week... we're temporarily disabling the firewall.
<ArchPlan> alot of malware may already be dormant on the company's machines, but then again, some new stuff might come as well
<fr_gment> So why not install some sort of warning system, by hanging out lanterns:
<fr_gment> One if by LAN, Two if by C:\ |
#54639 (249/419) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Yaksha> I asked my brother what he wanted for Christmas.
<Yaksha> He said he wanted cold hard cash.
<Yaksha> So that's exactly what I gave him.
<Yaksha> I got 20 $1 bills, soaked them in water and put them in the freezer.
<Yaksha> When he got it, it was just a block of green ice that took a day to thaw. |
#51396 (249/395) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< OpenFire> I don't know, I would start raging down the hallway asking whoever did it to own up.
< OpenFire> Just for satisfaction
< lenox> i'd urinate in someone's cubical
< lenox> then when they complain about it
< lenox> be like "i know, right? and just the other day someone dented my powerbook"
< lenox> IF they did it, they'll back down and that'll be that. you got them back
< lenox> IF they did NOT do it, now you have an ally
< lenox> they want to get this powerbook-denting public-urinating dude just as much as you
< lenox> pretty much, i am saying, you have to pee in someone's cubicle todayComment: #macintosh on irc.arstechnica.com
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#34883 (249/445) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<aeonite> http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2004/04/20040409.html
<ICR> god. they'll let ANY moron have a blog |
#33818 (249/479) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Maddawy> see i always wonder when i'm lookin at pr0n and jerking off so to speak
<Maddawy> and if my mom walks in.. would i hide my dick or the pr0n?
<cerebrus> jerking off so to speak? wtf? jerking off is jerking off, you don't need to so to speak.. RETARD
<Maddawy> whatever...
<greeny> see this hypothetical scenario happened to me...
<Maddawy> lol.. wat did u do?
<greeny> as the matter of fact i did neither..
<greeny> see, it was after the point of no return.. so i just ejaculated, while quietly moaning and looking at my mom apologeticaly
<Maddawy> LOL AHAHAHAHAHAHAH
<greeny> yes.. it's one of the main reasons why i live on campus now... |
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